Thursday, October 7, 2021

Bee-otch of the Day: Greg Abbott

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.

Name: Greg Abbott
Age: 63
Occupation: governor
Last Seen: Austin
Bee-otched For: being owned by a judge

Ann Richards, if only you were still with us.

Recently, the state of Texas passed one of the strongest anti-abortion laws in America. Once a fetus has a heartbeat detected, it can not be aborted in the Lone Star State.

Even worse, the ultra-right-leaning Supreme Court allowed Texas to follow through with their absurd law, which bans abortions after six weeks. For most women, it means that the second she learns she's pregnant, she's fucked. 

Many groups have obviously put Texas, Abbott and the Supreme Court on blast, especially President Biden, who called the state's decision an "unprecedented assault on a woman’s constitutional rights". 

Of course, we live in a society where the right refutes science and when they get elected, we all pay the price. Because of this, we have the highest COVID-19 rate in the world and morons who think that livestock vaccine is a cure-all. Now, thanks to assholes like Greg Abbott, the world will be loaded with more unwanted, unplanned children who all will have a lousy life.

To be quite honest, I have more love for women who abort their mistakes than give birth to them. One of the most tragic problems on this Earth are the amount of women who date total losers. They don't practice birth control and their boyfriends don't wear condoms. Yep! They end up giving the world another unwanted loser who at the end of the day ends up being raised by others.

Case in point: my cousin's half-sister. In the late 80s, my uncle knocked up a young woman and she gave birth to a son. As a matter of fact, we didn't even know of his existence until he was six months old. Now, my uncle has always been kind of a jerk. He drinks heavily, has never had a steady job and relies on others - including me one time - financially. Well, she ended up hooking up with another man. However, he was WORSE than my uncle. He was pure white trash and tried to kill my cousin's mother. Even worse, she had a kid with this asshole. Because he was the sole cousin of mine who lived near me, I had to endure him and his half-sister throughout my teens. Granted, I was never a little kid person, especially as a teen. Thankfully, my cousin grew up and is doing quite well. 

However, his half-sister is a completely different story. 

I met her again for the first time in years some time ago and though she seemed nice, her Facebook page was a different story. She posted that she wished someone would assassinate President Obama. REALLY?!? Granted, her father was an asshole, but shit like this only makes her just as bad. It only made me want to kick her ass hard as a little girl for being an annoying little shit. 

Of course, the right will also cry that adoption is a great alternative to abortion. OK, so how many children are rotting away in orphanages and foster care? How about those who were raised by the system and then kicked out at 18? Some are lucky, some aren't. Hell, I grew up with an adopted boy who was a total asshole. He had the unfortunate honor of being the first person in my graduating class to have passed away. And guess where he died? In jail for stealing a gun. And guess how he died? The jail gave him the wrong medication for his mental problems. 

You see, the world is LOADED with too many unwanted humans and their mothers are to blame for getting knocked up by losers. Being the son of a divorced father, he not only made me babysit my cousin and his murderous half-sister, but he made me babysit the children of a bitch who burned down her boyfriend's home years later. 

Oh, and one of her babydaddys was a douchebag DJ from WKLT. Go figure. 

Granted, there are successful children of single mothers, like the aforementioned Obama and adoptees like former President Clinton. Funny I mention Clinton because it was his wife Hillary who wrote "It Takes A Village to Raise A Child". Well, it depends on the situation. If your little punk harasses me and you do nothing about it, I might do something to it that you might not like. The world needs good parents and not assholes like the parents of little Caleb from that King of the Hill episode. 

The good news is that people are telling Abbott and his fellow pro-lifers to shut up. A judge just ruled that the law is unconstitutional. Texas judge Robert Pittman - an Obama appointee - made the ruling. 

Folks, this is what Repukes want: TO RULE WOMEN. Pregnant? Sucks to be you. God forced that loser to put his cock in you because you're a slut. This is why I'm so proud that my governor is a Democratic woman. The earth doesn't need more kids who don't deserve to be born. But since Repukes don't listen to science and people in Texas are dumbasses, we get Greg Abbott. 

Will someone please kidnap him and toss him into the woods?


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Tuesday, October 5, 2021

9.14.21 Bee-otches of the Day: non-vaxxers

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.

Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: ignoring the facts about COVID-19

Welcome to America, where we can't have nice things because of stupid people. 

We can't have single-payer universal healthcare because of the lie that it will raise taxes for everyone. In fact, countries that have it have lower healthcare costs than we do.

There's long lines at fast food restaurants because even though they rake in billions of dollars yearly, they don't pay their employees a living wage. Nobody wants to work there, so some have resorted to hiring 14-year-olds.

Now, it's the pure heartbreak that we are all afraid of: the pandemic ain't over. Over the summer, the delta variant reared its ugly spikes and infected many more people worldwide, especially those who think that the vaccines are all bunk.

Currently, 25% of all Americans have not had at least one shot of COVID-19 vaccine. Hospitals are crammed with COVID patients again and some people are now missing out on critical life-saving surgeries because ICUs are loaded with morons who are too fucking dumb to get their free shot.

Yes, these retards' definition of "following the science" involves listening to some ultra-right-leaning talk prick who ends up getting COVID-19 themselves or some conspiracy theory site. It's pathetic that Julian Assange is now hiding in another country for telling the truth and yet, we have these dopes in tinfoil hats bitch about unproven lies on Facebook. 

Of course, Facebook went down on October 4th for six hours and some thought that the world was coming to an end. It didn't end. True, Facebook is fun for many, but it's a source of misinformation for those who think that the sky is falling.

It used to be that we had a fair and balanced media. Of course, that ended when Reagan eliminated the Fairness Doctrine in 1987 and Clinton made things worse with the Telecommunications Act of 1996. Yes, you can't say fuck on the radio and Kacey Musgraves couldn't move her guitar on SNL. But, some redneck asshole can get behind the mic and utter lies about vaccines. 

Look, we got rid of it all: polio, whooping cough, chicken pox, you name it. Why? Vaccines. However, some yokel decades ago started crying that vaccines actually kill. And because of this misinformation, we have those who listen to Dr. Jenny McCarthy vs. real doctors who know what the hell they're doing.

Funny story: last Summer, my cousin and I were at a concert when we started talking about a convo he had with another one of my cousins. She's anti-vaxx and sourced some weirdo bitch. Well, my cousin googled this bitch's name and it turns out that she was arrested at the insurrection! 

Even worse, this cousin of mine is one of those "Jesus will protect me!" types. Well, guess what? I fondly remember a woman who had cancer and died because she refused treatment. Instead, she was constantly giving money to fake televangelist Kenneth Copeland, who preaches against cancer treatment and even preached to unvaccinated and unmasked crowds. Tragically, people need to know that fake prophets like Copeland are DANGEROUS and using Jesus to take money from people is the most-inhumane thing possible.

Folks, we gotta stop the madness. COVID-19 is DEADLY and people need to take their damn vaccine, period. Knock it off with the lies. COVID-19 is REAL and already, I personally knew someone who died from the disease. 

People, please, stop the insanity (whatever happened to Susan Powter, anyway?)!


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Thursday, September 30, 2021

9.30.21 Hero of the Day: Norm Macdonald

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.


Name: Norm Macdonald
Age: was 61
Occupation: comedian
Last Seen: up there
Awarded For: being one of the funniest men alive... ever

The world is seemingly less funny these days.

Comedy has always been like a balancing act on a thin string. Sometimes, one succeeds and sometimes, you fall flat on your ass. These days, the jokes one may tell may make one laugh in agony. However, some will cry that they offend. 

Look at "Blazing Saddles". Back in 1974, it broke many barriers. Today, a film like it could never be made. In an age where most movies released it seems are all reboots of superhero franchises and whatever ride is at Disneyland, there isn't much room for laughter. 

But as we all know, bad things come in threes. Jim Breuer is now a grade A asshole for not wanting to play venues that require COVID-19 vaccinations, Jay Leno has once again weasel his way back to television with a shitty reboot of Groucho Marx's You Bet Your Life and now, we've lost Norm Macdonald.

Born and raised by schoolteachers in Quebec City, Macdonald rose to fame in the 80s appearing at comedy clubs all throughout Canada. In 1990, he made his TV debut on an episode of Star Search. It led him to a career in writing for sitcoms like Roseanne. However, he got his big break in 1993 when he was hired to be a new cast member of Saturday Night Live. A year later, he was hired to take over Weekend Update from Kevin Nealon, who left a year later. 

Macdonald also was known for his countless impersonations, including former presidential candidate Bob Dole, Larry King and Burt Reynolds on the Celebrity Jeopardy! sketches.

However, his tenure on SNL was not without controversy. In 1998, he was fired from WU not by SNL producer Lorne Michaels, but rather NBC West Coast president Don Ohlmeyer. Ohlmeyer claimed that Macdonald simply wasn't funny and that his ratings during the segment were abhorrent. However, it was revealed that Ohlmeyer was angry at Macdonald for his constant jokes against his friend, former football player and murder suspect O.J. Simpson. After his WU release, Macdonald appeared on The Howard Stern Show where he revealed that Ohlmeyer threw a party for the jurors at the Simpson trial as a thank you for keeping him free. Needless to say, there was plenty of backlash for Macdonald's firing. SNL's ratings plummeted, and competition from Fox's MadTV the syndicated Howard Stern Radio Show on Saturday nights gave that program a message.

But in the long run, Macdonald won over Ohlmeyer. Eventually, he left NBC and returned to ABC to helm Monday Night Football. However, he made the mistake of hiring Dennis Miller and ratings fell. Recently, it was revealed that Ohlmeyer tried to force Conan O'Brien to not book Macdonald on his show. However, Conan won that argument.

Thankfully, losing SNL wasn't the end of the world for Norm. He had movies ("Dirty Work", "Duece Bigalow: Male Gigalo" and "Billy Madison"), TV shows (The Norm ShowMike Tyson Mysteries and The Middle) and even a podcast. His stand-up act packed theaters and he was a frequent guest on many talk shows.

However, he had one secret: cancer.

When he died on September 14, most people didn't know that he had the disease. Maybe he didn't want sympathy while he was battling it. He just wanted people to laugh at his jokes out of the fact that he was funny and not out of sympathy. Yes, his death came as a shock. But, we'll always have the happy flashbacks of the great characters he gave us. 

Thanks, Norm. We'd to you to say hi to Mr. Ohlmeyer for us, but I don't think you're anywhere near him now.


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Monday, September 13, 2021


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.


So, what is the American Dream? 

For some, it's getting married, buying a house and starting a family. For others, it's starting a business and steering clear of the man. Some want to be famous. Others simply enjoy their obscurity. 

But, that dream seems to be getting harder and harder to achieve. 

Over 50 years ago, Americans seemed to get that dream quite easily. Now, with skyrocketing home prices and a minimum wage that hasn't risen in 12 years, George Carlin was right. They call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe in it.

Sometimes, people have had the American Dream all along. I have a cousin who was a shining example. But, she fucked up. A few years ago, she was still living with her parents and was dating a loser druggie alcoholic. One night, the two were in bed and he impregnated her. They ended up with a healthy baby girl who now has two deal with two idiot parents. Late last year, she was home with her daughter when her father started walking up to the kitchen to talk to her. Bear in mind that my uncle is a heavy set man. Anyway, he slipped on the floor, knocked into my cousin who ended up knocking herself into her daughter, who fell onto the floor. Angry and standing in front of the knives, she grabbed one and threatened my uncle. He ended up pulling one in front of her and both pulled out their phones and called 911. The cops came and the two individually told their stories to them. In the end, my cousin ended up going to jail.

Apparently, my cousin went to counseling. There, she claimed that she didn't have a good childhood. When I heard this, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. This is a girl who grew up in a nice, big house, had two parents who had great jobs and a father who worked in the entertainment industry. She met major celebrities, went to at least one movie a week, went to many concerts and so much more.

And she didn't have a happy childhood?!?

I know. I look at those who took their own lives in recent years. Chester Bennington, lead singer of Linkin Park was worth millions, had a wife, children and millions of fans around the world. Yet, he battled depression that stemmed from being molested repeatedly as a young boy. For Chester, money and fame could not ease the pain of the past. The same goes with those like Kurt Cobain, Anthony Bourdain or Chris Cornell. 

My parents divorced when I was 12 while hers are still together after 43 years. Her parents had good jobs; her mom was a schoolteacher while her dad worked in the entertainment industry, hobnobbing with celebrities. Me? Well, my mom seemed to have a new job every other year while my father was a part-time bus driver. Instead of celebrities, I got to hang out with mean high school kids and got to ride on miles of bumpy-ass dirt roads because he was mandated to drop off white trash. Because I was the first one off and the last one on, it wouldn't shock me if I had the longest school day in the district. 

Remember the South Park episode where Stan's parents divorce? His mother, Sharon ends up with a boyfriend who only wants him to do chores and treats him like shit. When he bursts into tears, Sharon scolds Stan and tells him that when she tells him that he's the most-important thing to her, it really means that he's the most-important thing to her after her new relationships and her happiness. 

Sadly, Sharon was like my mother. 

Just eight days before my 12th birthday, my mom came home with her "friends". I was in my bedroom, playing Nintendo when I was cordoned to come to the living room. My dad told me that she and him were divorcing and I was going with her to live with her friend. My mom's new upstairs apartment was in an old house with only two bedrooms and a bathroom whose curtain didn't close all the way because of how the roof was shaped. The appliances in our tiny kitchen barely functioned, so mom had to buy a hot plate. My parents agreed to 50/50 custody of me. Good, because that apartment had no heat.

You see, my mom's so-called "friend" was a disgusting, 300-pound bitch who worked at a gas station. She obviously had mental issues that caused her to spend more money than she earned. She was in so much credit card debt that she had no choice but to get a roommate. Now, my parents weren't really meant to be, but I look back and wished that my parents could have been more amicable during my teenage years. 

You see, my mother married a douchebag who really wanted nothing to do with me, so I ended up living with dad full time. While living with him, he told me that I would always be allowed to live with him, even if I was 30. 

But then, he remarried. 

When that happened, dad announced that he and my new stepmother were moving to Kentucky of all places. As a result, he wanted me to work on getting along with my stepdad since I was going to tech school at the time. I graduated and, well, 9/11 hit. 

It took me a year to get a "grown up" job. Beforehand, I was washing dishes and working at a gas station. I hated both jobs. Then finally, just days after my 21st birthday, I got exciting news: I got a job.

In the beginning, my job showed lots of promise. I was told that I would be getting raises and opportunities to grow. Boy, was that a joke. And to make matters worse, the recession brought on by Dubya's fake wars and tax cuts for the wealthy made it tougher for me to get a better job and raises. I was stuck. Even worse, I was bullied for being broke and living in a cheap apartment... all by the assholes who voted him in.

By 2012, I was in an auto accident, got myself a car that had issues in the beginning (FUCK YOU COURTESY DODGE) and was now paying off three credit card bills per month. Even worse, I had moved to first shift kicking and screaming and was now making less than when I first started because I lost my shift premium. 

But thankfully, every cloud has a silver lining. 

On New Years Eve 2012, my asshole boss retired. Later, I learned that he was forced out of the company he started because profits were falling. He personally blamed the industry's conversion to digital. Well, he was wrong. For years, he belittled his employees and did everything to make us all feel miserable. Turnover was a disaster and when customers learned about his MO, they bailed on our company. According to insiders at my company, we were just months away from bankruptcy. 

Since then, I've gotten raises every year and now, my company just invested millions in new equipment. I've been working lots of overtime and all's well. Those debts I had slowly melted away. However, I was still stuck in the tinderbox apartment from hell.

Of course, the time since my ex-boss's retirement has had its ups and downs. The worst that happened was when the sole relative in Grand Rapids that I had, my aunt passed away in 2018 from cancer and my grandmother just a few months before. Not long before that, I had a horrid relationship with a heroin addict who took $1000 from me. Thankfully, karma was starting to be on my side. 

In the 2000s, my mother and stepdad's business near Phoenix failed. Shortly thereafter, she caught him cheating on her. So, they filed for divorce. However, he got busted for drunk driving and begged her for forgiveness. She did and they called off the divorce. Well, after he served some time in jail and was done blowing into some device to start his car, he finally asked for a divorce again. Turns out that he was seeing somebody else and eventually married that person, only to dump her for somebody else. Mom ended up living in a small apartment in Phoenix for a few years. However, her complex was sold and was priced out of her home. She made the tough decision to move back to Michigan and to be closer to me. 

But earlier this year, hell really froze over when I learned that I was getting a house.

Yep! I beat the odds and bought a house right smack dab during a time when buying a new home is out of the question for most. It's not a Taj Mahal by any means; it only has one bathroom and the kitchen's quite small. But, it has three bedrooms, a two-car garage and a big, fenced-in backyard that's perfect for any dog owner. So, how did all this happen? 


It all started late last year when my dad's wife announced that her 98-year-old father was now out of money and needed to sell her family home in Leelanau County. She went up, watched a lot of baseball with her dad and then, he died. After the funeral, she cut contact with my father and come to find out, she wanted to keep the house, which was worth at least $400,000. Now, my dad was stuck in Kentucky with nobody except his dog. Well, we got to talking and one day, he called me and asked if I was interested in buying a house with him. The plan was to sell his Kentucky home and to use the proceeds as a down payment for a new home in Grand Rapids while I took over the mortgage. It would be a win-win, especially for me.

Today, I'm comfortably in my new home. I work during the day while Dad does chores. True, we have our differences. Dad is a neat freak while I'm not. Dad loves Drumpf and hates Biden with a passion, though we both hate Dubya for starting his fake wars. But, anything to get out of that nasty ass apartment. 

So, to the four people who care, the question has long been, why the lack of updates? 

Simply put, I needed some time away. With me working sometimes over ten hours a day plus Saturdays and putting together my new home, I simply had no time handing out the Bee-otch of the Day. Even more, I'm now spending more time with my father, who can be nosey. A lot of the time, he asks what I'm doing. If he thinks what I'm doing is weird, it turns into a long - sometimes boring - convo about me being wrong. Hell, he gets upset when I go to Costco because our house is small and thinks that everything from there is too big. Then again, I now live farther from any Costco while we have Meijer, Walmart, Aldi (which he hates), Dollar General, Family Fare and others within closer reach. True, but Costco treats their employees better.

The reality of living with someone else is that the rules change. The places you avoided are now the places you go to on a semi-regular basis. Before the move-in, I avoided Menards with a passion. Their founder and owner, John Menard, pays his employees shit wages and is a friend of Drumpf's. Well, we needed new stuff for the house, and politically, Menard is just as bad as everyone else who sells hammers and lawn mowers. At least Menards sells stuff you won't find at Lowe's and Home Depot, like food and jeans.

So now, the question is: is it the end of Bee-otch of the Day and Simply put, no.

When I started this blog and site 22 years ago, I promised myself that I would only discontinue it if I were to get married. Well, I'm still not, but now, I have my father to take care of. He wants me to have a life outside of work and I don't blame him. We do a lot of stuff together, plus I see my mom a lot, too.

However, the world still needs a hero.

Right now, we're still fighting COVID-19, even though many of us are 100% vaccinated. Simply put, people believe in lies spread by false sources who all claim that COVID-19 is a hoax and that we can all be cured by some medicine used for cattle. We have people who all believe that President Biden to blame over the catastrophe in Afghanistan, though the truth is that it really wasn't our problem in the first place. We were there only because we've stuck our nose in other people's business for centuries to please the militarial industrial complex. We spend more money on our military over building our nation and keeping food on our table. We have losers who deny climate change even though we had a major hurricane ravage a path from Louisiana to New York.

With that, I'm proud to say that yes, Bee-otch of the Day will continue. However, it might be less than usual because I have stuff to do at home and I need to have a life outside of work, too. The world needs to have a hero during this time of misinformation and lies spread by total assholes. People need to wake up and listen to what's wrong on this Earth. 

And that's where I come in, just not as much.


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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on

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Thursday, May 13, 2021

5.13.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Ellen DeGeneres

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.

Name: Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 63
Occupation: unfunny comedienne
Last Seen: Los Angeles
Bee-otched For: being a quitter

PLEASE NOTE: We are in the process of moving to a new location. As a result, Bee-otch of the Day will be updated less frequently than usual for the time being. Thank you for your patience.

It seems that not long ago, Ellen DeGeneres was on top of the world. 

Her daytime talk show was one of the highest-rated programs in syndication. Her guests were giant A-listers in Hollywood. The world was her oyster. 

And then, the bottom fell out. 

When she was spotted in George W. BusHitler's skybox at a Dallas Cowboys football game, many in the LGBTQ+ community called her a traitor for being a friend to somebody who was no friend to them. But of course, Ellen's fame took an even bigger nosedive when it was revealed that her show's workplace was very toxic. 

The reports regarding the culture at Ellen were damning. Producers told her fans things like not to look at her or even be smarter than her if they were playing one of her games. The backlash from the negativity regarding the behind-the-scenes hellhole caused the show to lose half of its viewers. 

Now, it's the end.

Ellen has officially announced that the 2021-22 season for the show will be its last. She claimed that she needed something new to challenge her and that the backstage melee had nothing to do with her discontinuing her program. She claims that she wants to do things related to her favorite causes, such as the environment. As a matter of fact, she recently narrated "Endangered", a documentary on Discovery +.

Not a whole lot of people defended Ellen through her situation, though she did find an ally in Howard Stern. When the backstage problems on her show were hot headlines, Stern stood up for her, claiming that he felt terrible when she lost her 1990s sitcom after she came out as gay in 1997, causing the show's ratings to decline and advertisers to pull their spots. 

Now, I'm one of those people who judges on talent and not by how different they are. Look at Bill Cosby: back in the 1960s, he was one of the first black comics to be accepted by white audiences. He was clean and was somebody the whole family could enjoy. Because of this, he was on many children's shows like Sesame Street and Captain Kangaroo. Hell, he even saved NBC when The Cosby Show became a ratings smash. Personally, I never found him funny. But, to each their own. IMHO, I think he used his race to get to places most other African Americans would never be allowed to go. And yes, he used his race to get what he wanted, like raping and drugging women.

When it comes to blacks, gays and just about everybody else, there's no "I hate this person because they're gay" or "this guy's black, so he must be in a gang". I know. I've dealt with too many assholes who are a part of a minority. One reason why I started this very blog was because when I was a teen in the 1990s, I lived in northern Michigan, where the only real rock station there avoided bands that I actually liked, like KoRn, Rage Against the Machine, Tool and others. Instead, the station was loaded with butt rock from the 70s and then-currents from soccer mom acts like Counting Crows, Goo Goo Dolls and Melissa Etheridge. One of the worst-kept secrets was that part of the reason why the station's new rock selections were limp was because their programming director and midday jock is a lesbian. Not only that, but the station even had a Saturday morning standup comedy show and they were load it up with crap from Ellen and the horrid Rosie O'Donnell. But, guess what? There's a TON of members of the LGBTQ+ family who know how to rock, namely the likes of Lzzy Hale, Billie Joe Armstrong and Otep, just to name a few. It's just that this woman was nothing more than a puppet for her bosses in North Dakota, who cared more about money than programming. 

The reality is that Ellen is simply not that funny and I get douche chills when I have to watch her horrible show. Simply put, good riddance. I kinda knew that something was up with her and it was all before her downfall. Now, she can spend time eating caviar with dictators and living a life where nobody has to look at her because she can live a private life with Portia and their millions.

Yes, Ellen wants us all to be kind to everybody. But, when that person doesn't want to give you a seat at the table, then, you can tell them to fuck off.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!


Wednesday, May 12, 2021

5.12.21 Bee-otches of the Day: the media

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.

Name: the media
Age: ageless
Occupation: entertainers and informers of the world
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: ratings? What ratings?

PLEASE NOTE: We are in the process of moving to a new location. As a result, Bee-otch of the Day will be updated less frequently than usual for the time being. Thank you for your patience.

A few weeks ago in Grand Rapids (yeah, I know I'm late with all the moving and etc.), the Nielsen radio ratings were released.

WOOD-AM/FM won the book - probably because of Rush's death - while Christian WCSG was at #2. B93, GRD and LAV rounded the top five. 

However, there were a few embarrassments. WFGR had its worst book in a while, while The Q 94.5 had its worst book since its debut a few years ago. Urban stations seem to be the worst off of the bunch with Magic 104.9 registering at a 1.7 while the recently-launched 102.5 The Drive is nowhere to be seen, Steve Harvey and all. 

Of Grand Rapids' high-powered music stations, Thunder 107.3 continues to be a joke with a 1.7, though ratings are up for the floundering frequency. Sister sports station WJRW is also a joke with a paltry .7, tied with Muskegon rocker WMRR 101.7.

A few weeks ago in Traverse City, the Ticker website published an article about how the local radio stations are reshaping their formats in the age of the pandemic. They talked with Chris Warren, the general manager of Midwestern Broadcasting's cluster (WTCM-AM/FM, WCCW-AM/FM, Z93 and KLT) and claimed that when it comes to music, they can't compete with Pandora and others. So their top asset is something that one cannot get from streaming: local content. 

In the article, Warren talked about the importance of personalities at their stations, especially KLT's overrated Nina Blackwood wannabe Terri Ray, who has been KLT's programming director for some 25 years. Before Midwestern purchased KLT in December 2019, former owner Northern Broadcast fired most of the staff, save for Ray, who has been with KLT since 1984. Since Midwestern's purchase of KLT, the company rehired morning man Steve "Omelette" Normandin and moved Dean Berry over  from oldies sister station WCCW-FM 107.5. 

Warren also states that he had gotten a Nielsen report claiming that "good old fashioned radio listenership is stronger now than it's ever been" and that they've "always touted levels in the neighborhood of 90-92 percent of adults listening to local radio – whether it's 15 minutes a day, or 15 hours a day". Hmmmm.... OK, so how *is* Midwestern doing? According to the article, Warren claims that Midwestern "had a strong year". 

OK, so what about dem ratings? 

Since the pandemic began, only one major radio company in northern Michigan, Black Diamond Broadcasting, still subscribes to the Nielsen ratings. Their stations are doing quite well, though Rock 105/95-5 has lost some ground this past year. Now that WTCM-FM no longer has a signal in the Straits Area with 93.5 flipping to a KLT simulcast, Big Country 102.9 has been their best performer. Classic rocker The Bear has also improved, though recently, popular morning host Smitty exited the station and radio altogether.

Now, Midwestern is claiming that they have a hit on their hands with the return of Omelette. But, is it for real? Bear in mind that when he replaced the godawful Bob and Tom Show on The Bear, the station had lackluster ratings, which was why he was fired. Of course as mentioned, KLT is now on 93.5 in the Petoskey area and 96.7 near Alpena (98.9 was spun-off to a religious group because of FCC limits). How it's affected WTCM-FM is anyone's guess.

So, let's say that I owned a supermarket and one day, a Midwestern sales rep walked into my store. This is how the convo would go:

Midwestern Sales Rep: Hi! My name is Lou Skunt, and I'm a sales rep at Midwestern Broadcasting Co., the owners of WTCM, WCCW, Z93 and KLT. Are you the owner of this business? 
Me: Yes.
MSR: Great! Well, I'm here to talk to you about buying some air time at our wonderful group of stations here in the Grand Traverse Region. You know, Midwestern Broadcasting has been in business since 1939 and has been family-owned since day one! We have some of the highest-rated radio stations in the area and we feature some of the most-popular talent! Listen, King Chuck, did you know that according to Nielsen, radio listenership is as strong as ever and that around 90-92% of all adults in this area listen to the radio at any given time?
Me: Prove it.
MSR: Well, here's the article.
Me: Do you have the latest ratings?
MSR: Here you go!
Me: Ummmm... This is from before you rehired Omelette. This is not current. 
MSR: Well, um, books are, um, expensive. Um, well, you know that Omelette is the #1 morning show in northern Michigan, right? 
Me: Prove it. 
MSR: Well.... um.... he is! You know, right?
Me: Listen. What are you hearing?
MSR: Slow, symphonic music. Why?
Me: That's a channel called "Escape" on SiriusXM. It's calm and relaxing and perfect for my shoppers, many of whom are elderly folks over 50. And why do I have Sirius? It's because I'm a Howard Stern guy and you people would have never given him the time of day 20 years ago. 
MSR: Well, we have Omelette, and he's, um, like Stern...
Me: Yeah, he rips off everything he's done. And why you assholes were crying that he wouldn't sell up here, you were pumping horseshit from Rush and Dr. Laura on WTCM-AM who were more offensive than anything Howard's ever done. Look. Radio is dead. Quit spinning.
MSR: Look, I'll cut you a deal...
Me: (grabs cell phone to call the cops)

Meanwhile, the Ticker also talked with Jerry Coyne, who owns rocker Q100 and sports talker WGRY 101.1 - Up North Sports Sports Radio. Recently, WGRY's programming added on WJML 1110 Petoskey, WJNL 1210 Traverse City and the low-power translator at 101.1 in TC. According to Coyne, the stations will be the area's flagship for Detroit Tigers, Red Wings and Pistons sports while Q100 will handle the Lions. 

With the Tigers moving to UNSR, it ends 80 years of the baseball team's games being aired on any Traverse City station owned by Midwestern. Because of this, it's adding to the rumor mill that the for sale sign is shining brightly at the Radio Centre complex in downtown TC. Company president Ross Biederman is 80 years old and none of his biological children are involved with the company. Chris Warren, however, is his stepson, but unlike Ross, he's not a radio guy, but rather a bean counter. Now, I have talked with a former Midwestern employee who is still good pals with many at 314 E. Front St. and he told me that Ron Jolly is quashing the rumors because his show is a top biller at WTCM-AM. Granted, none of Detroit's teams - especially the Tigers at this current moment - are to die for. But the fact that northern Michigan's biggest Tiger affiliate is a daytimer with an FM translator station whose signal doesn't quite make it to Elk Rapids should be an embarrassment. After all, up until last year, nighttime games were on WCCW-FM 107.5. 

However, it is a good deal that because of the addition of sports talk on 1110/1210/101.1, it marks the end of 30 years of low-rated shitty conservative talk on WJML. Did WJML ever have a one share in the ratings ever as a talk station? Anyway, it leaves Dave Ramsey, Laura Ingraham and a bunch of low-ranked talkers off the air up north. True, WJML *did* have a few good talkers here and there at one time, like Mike Malloy and Ed Schultz. Hell, they even had a progressive talk sister in the 2000s, Kool 750! Of course, that station died a sad death when it was sold to a certain radio slumlord who is sitting on eggshells because his inflated ego cost him everything. 

The moral of the story is simple: radio is a business. You take care of people and they'll take care of you. I know, Nielsen ain't cheap. It sucks that only one major radio group up north is subscribing to the ratings while the rest pull shit out of their ass. It's hard to tell what really sucks up north when the lesser of all the radio evils subscribes to the book.

And that, my friend, is what makes them more evil.


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Monday, May 10, 2021

5.9.21 Bee-otch of the Day: the douchebag who heckled Governor Whitmer in Traverse City last week

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on's socials.

Name: unknown
Age: reportedly 39
Occupation: unknown
Last Seen: jail
Bee-otched For: ruining a visit from Whitmer

PLEASE NOTE: We are in the process of moving to a new location. As a result, Bee-otch of the Day will be updated less frequently than usual for the time being. Thank you for your patience.

Last Thursday was supposed to be an eventful day for the citizens of Traverse City, Michigan for all the right reasons. 

Governor Gretchen Whitmer came to Discovery Pier in nearby Grelickville and signed a bill into law on a kayak protecting our state's natural resources. However, while the Governor was speaking, a heckler was kind enough to scream and yell throughout her speech. He shouted obscenities and told her to "go back to Lansing". 

After the speech, Leelanau County Police showed up to confront the protestor, who was arguing with Rick Coates, part of rock station 97.5 WKLT's The Omelette Show. During the argument, the man was asked why he wouldn't run for office, and his response was "the only people who are elected to office are criminals like Whitmer". In front of officers, said douchenozzle took the microphone from the hand of WPBN-TV 7&4 reporter Natalie Spala and threw it across the parking lot. Then, after the cops arrested the man, he spat on Spala's cameraman. 

Currently, the man - whose name has not been revealed - is serving time in the Leelanau County Jail. 

Since the pandemic began, Governor Whitmer has been lauded for her state shutdowns, but has also been a target for violent conservatives who have threatened to kill her and her family. Last year, a militia group was caught planning to kill the Governor, even going as far as to stalk her vacation home near Elk Rapids, Michigan. This new attack on the Governor is just another threat from someone who doesn't understand how politics work.

To make matters worse, the radio and TV station that was there at the signing might have added to the man's actions. WKLT is owned by Midwestern Broadcasting, whose sister station, WTCM 580, has given northern Michigan the unholy noises of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin and others for over three decades. Almost coincidentally, it was Midwestern who also founded 7&4, which after several ownership changes is now in the hands of the one and only Sinclair Broadcast Group. As many broadcasting geeks know, Sinclair is pretty much the Antichrist of journalism by turning local newscasts into ultra-right flaming piles of shit. 

It wouldn't shock me if this prick was brainwashed by all the fake news in the world. He probably thinks that science doesn't exist and that COVID-19 is a fairytale. In reality, we need to thank Governor Whitmer for putting our health first, even if it means that businesses have to close for good, big and small. Also, major props go out to Ms. Spala, who has been with 7&4 for three years. She took the jerk's slings and arrows and came out unscathed. I hope that test will allow her to move up in the broadcasting world, especially to bigger markets like Grand Rapids.

As for this loser, I hope he and his tinfoil hat rot in jail for a long, long time. What he did last week was inexcusable and made a poor example of the right. 

He needs to end up in a psych ward... with all the other assholes on the right with him.


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