Thursday, August 30, 2012

8.30.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Passenger





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: Donald Passenger
Age: 52
Occupation: Judge
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: kissing Matt Hanlon's ass

---

For the past several months, we've been covering former Citadel Broadcasting Regional Manager Matt Hanlon's fall from grace, as he was arrested a few months ago for a drunk driving accident that injured an Indian couple.

Hanlon was driving his Range Rover on Knapp St. near the East Beltline when he drove in front of another vehicle as he was readying to turn left into a supermarket parking lot. His car was struck by the other couple, who were hurt in the accident, but not seriously. Hanlon was discovered to have a .14 blood alcohol level in his system when he was arrested and spent a day in jail. For months, h fate awaited.

Many speculated that the 49-year-old Hanlon could spent months behind bars, but apparently, he had a good lawyer or the judge was just another Grand Rapids good 'ol boy. Judge Donald Passenger didn't throw a book at him, but rather a coupon instead. The judge only ordered Hanlon to pay the court a mere $1,660.85.

No more jail time, no more fines. Hanlon can enjoy the rest of his life.

Ya know, it's moments like this that remind me of the movie A Christmas Story where Ralphie and a bunch of kids pressure Flick into licking a flagpole in the middle of the winter. The teacher had escorted him - bandaged tongue and all - back into the room and talked to the class about what happened. She said that the guilt that one faces should be worse than the punishment he shall receive. Personally, I hope this incident will live with Hanlon for the rest of his life. $1,660 is chump change for somebody who once lived in a $600,000 home in Ada (now occupied by his little butt buddy HUUUUUUUUUGE).

It comes to show how fucked up the whole goddamned system is. You get caught with pot. and you can go to jail for decades. But, drive around in a Range Rover drunk as hell and you're good to go. Sick.

But then again, what else do you expect from a Judge appointed by John Engler?
---
Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com!
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

8.29.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Jesten Peters





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: Jesten Peters
Age: ??
Occupation: Jebus freak
Last Seen: Tampa, FL
Bee-otched For: praying away the hurricane 

---

Last night, I was checking out some of the news websites in New Orleans, and one of the websites, ABC affiliate WGNO said it simple:

"God Bless Louisiana".

It's official: New Orleans is stuck with another hurricane, seven years to the day Katrina hit the city. Although Hurricane Isaac is a category one vs. Katrina's three, he can still leave a detrimental effect to the city that's 12 feet below sea level.

For a while, many weathermen were predicting that Isaac would make landfall on Tampa, where the Republican National Convention is being held. But thanks to the prayers of one woman and her followers, the hurricane spared Tampa and headed the wrong direction.

Rev. Jesten Peters of the Keys of Authority Ministries told (who else?) The 700 Club that she urged her followers to pray to God to spare Tampa. However, what they did was send the hurricane where it doesn't belong, and that's New Orleans. Threats of Isaac caused the RNC to shuffle its schedule, but thanks to the prayers Peters made to the almighty Republican Jesus, who hates Obamacare, gays and liberals alike, Isaac went to that hedonistic land of Louisiana, where women rip their tops off during Mardi Gras.

Oh, please. Hasn't New Orleans had enough? Already because of Katrina and the BP oil spill, the town has lost 30% of its population just this past decade. When Ms. Peters started smiling towards the end of the CBN report, even though it's not nice to punch a lady, she was an exception. She looked like the type of person who only cared about herself and not others. Tampa can take a category one storm, not New Orleans.

You know, hurricane season's not over. Maybe we oughta pray for a massive storm for this nasty old lady's house and church. While we're at it, maybe we should pray for a catagory five to hit the Hampton Roads region so Pat Robertson can lose his mansion and CBN studios. Using God to protect the rich and slam the poor is just plain stupid. I hope in the end, God will seek his wrath on Ms. Peters for doing what she did.

God, do your work.
---
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Tuesday, August 28, 2012

8.28.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Dinesh D'souza





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: Dinesh D'Souza
Age: 51
Occupation: conservative Michael Moore wannabe
Last Seen: either San Diego or New York
Bee-otched For: making a liefest about Obama

---

Last weekend, moviegoers went and saw shit getting destroyed in The Expendables 2. One of the movie's stars, sadly was once great actor-turned right-winged nutjob Chuck Norris.

Oddly enough, when it boiled down to per-screen average, not even Norris' scraggly beard could wipe out another film made by yet another right-winged kook.

Of all the films in wide release last weekend, the best-performing film was 2016: Obama's America, a film made by Indian-born Dinesh D'Souza that basically explains that if reelected, Obama could turn America into an apocalyptic nation by 2016. In the film, D'Souza - who lives in a gated community outside San Diego and is the president of a wealthy private college, The King's College in New York - talks about his father's past as somebody who escaped India and often compared him to Obama's father, a Kenyan national. He claims that Obama is trying to kill off industry here in America and raise our debt.

Many are comparing 2016 to Michael Moore's films, mainly Fahrenheit 9/11. D'Souza even sounds like Moore in the film. One critic even claimed that the movie fails to allow anybody to change their mind about Obama, especially since D'Souza doesn't use humor or even views from both sides of the aisle.

2016 was produced by Gerald R. Molen, who also produced Schindler's List and was released by Rocky Mountain Pictures, a small independent studio notorious for producing politically far-right pictures such as Atlas Shrugged and Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, a documentary from Ben Stein that explains his views on creationism. A lot of the company's output is overly Christian; many of their films were produced by TBN and their affiliated companies.

Ya know, it does anger me knowing that there's people out there who will do their damndest to get Obama out of the White House come November, and IMHO, I wouldn't be too surprised if D'Souza got some of the funding of his movie from some right-winged nutjobs like the Koch Brothers. This movie is to the president as Reefer Madness was to cannabis, stating that it kills people even though it does a better job of curing people over the crap popping out of Pfizer.

Remember, folks, Fahrenheit 9/11 broke box office records, and this pile of shit will be out of theatres within the next few weeks. Yeah, Michael Moore failed to let let people know about the dangers of having Bush in the White House and we paid the price when our economy collapsed in 2007. I highly doubt if this country will be destroyed in 2016 if Obama's reelected. If we reelect him, plus give him a Democratic House and Senate, this country will be back to the days Clinton was in the White House. We need to focus on creating jobs and telling the wealthy that they don't need to keep every single penny they've made while their workers are squeaking by.

Dinesh D'Souza is just another wealthy prick who has had his entire life handed to him. I wish these conservative nutjobs would look at people like me who are living by a thread and realize that I have 35 more years to work I don't want to spend them living paycheck to paycheck. This is why we voted Obama in.

Personally, I think if Michael Moore made a new movie today, it would do WAY better than this pile of crap. People need to be reminded why Obama was elected, and we must stay the course. Let's not re-live the 2000's again. Let's bring the 90's back.

D'Souza's politics would bring 1929 back instead.
---
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com!
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Monday, August 27, 2012

8.27.12 Bee-otch of the Day: televangelists





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: The Religious Right
Age: ageless
Occupation: professional BS-ers
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: getting rocked by a hurricane

---

This week, the Republican National Convention is supposed to be held at the Tampa Bay Times Forum, the home of that town's Lightning hockey team.

Ironically, several WWE events have been held there, and this week, people will have to stand back, because there's a hurricane coming through.

Hurricane Isaac is supposed to hit Tampa sometime within the next week, and because forecasters are predicting him to be a Catagory two storm, it would force the RNC to re-work its schedule.

Hmmmm.... Did somebody pray for this?

Now, remember all these televangelists who prayed for hurricanes because of towns in Florida that had gay pride parades? Take Pat Robertson for example. He told Disney in 1995 that when they have gay pride parades at Disney World, it would be God's plan to give them a hurricane, tornado or even a meteor. When Hurricane Bonnie was pummelling towards Orlando in 1998, it steered off course and ended up hitting the Hampton Roads region of Virginia, the home of Robertson and his 700 Club.

Too bad it didn't knock him off the air permenently.

And then there's the great John Hagee. In 2004, he blamed Hurricane Katrina on New Orleans' love of gays. He claimed that there was supposed to be a huge gathering of gays in the city the Monday the hurricane came, and it was Divine Retribution from Almighty God himself for tolerating a lifestyle he saw as abnormal.

OK, so now, Isaac's about ready to blow the Tampa Bay Times Forum off its foundation - and for the record, the Times is a liberal-leaning paper - so, where's the Pat Robertsons and John Hagees of the world proclaiming that the hurricane is God's punishment to the Republican party for their henonistic activities? You know: ripping off the poor and middle class while they run wild with lots of bucks in their pockets?

In the end, it's proof that God has a plan, after all, and it's to tell those money-grabbing televanglist assholes that they're complete morons, plain and simple. Using the money stolen from the hands of their viewers, they think they're using God to tell the gays that God's punishing them. But in the end, they're the ones having to duck and cover.

Just think: God masturbated and missed the toilet.
---
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Northern Michigan Arbitron radio ratings are out.... Kinda





8.27.12
NORTHERN MICHIGAN RADIO RATINGS ARE OUT... ER, KINDA
New Arbitron policy stops embargoes, but filters out non-subscribers


Arbitron, we missed you.

After a long three years, Arbitron is back to dishing out radio ratings publicly, but with a catch:

Non-subscribers to the service are now omitted from their surveys.

Sadly, Ross Biederman's Midwestern Broadcasting, Northern Broadcast and Roy Henderson's Fort Bend Broadcasting are off the list, but at least we have the numbers for MacDonald-Garber Broadcasting and Northern Star Broadcasting, headed by Del Reynolds.

So here's what we can publish:

106 KHQ - 7.8
Lite 96, WMKC Big Country 102.9 and Real Rock 105/95-5 - 3.5
98.1/94.5 The Bear - 2.0 
Mix 96/WMBN 1340/WMKT 1270 - .4

*It doesn't surprise me that KHQ's ratings are pretty good right now, considering that Top 40 is as popular than ever thanks to rap/hip-hop dying in popularity and the format itself becoming more soccer mom-friendly. Then again, Arbitron did publish KHQ's numbers from the past few books, and they were better.

*Lite 96 with a 3.5 proves that northern Michigan - despite being an older-skewing market - can only support one AC station.

*Big Country has always done well with the Straits area folks. 3.5 is pretty good for a station with only an OK signal in Traverse City, a town with two strong 100KW Country signals.

*I am disappointed with Real Rock 105/95-5. I did check their numbers from the past few books and they're at their lowest ratings point since they debuted. Personally, I think if the station had more live and local personalities instead of using a voice-tracked has-been from Minneapolis for nights, the station could have more energy. IMO, Cartman's gotta go. His style is more-suited for CHR, plus the fact that he damn near screwed me over to save his failing career doesn't surprise me that they're probably the lowest-rated Active Rock station in the state.

*If Real Rock's that bad, look at The Bear! 2.0! Sad. Even worse, owner Del Reynolds even admitted that he's paying over $100,000 to air Bob and Tom on that station. Personally, both Bob and Tom and The Bear have seen better days.

*Doesn't surprise me that Mix/MBN/MKT are at a .4. Of course, WMBN just flipped to Sports, so we'll see what their next book is like. A .4 is embarrassing to WMKT, especially with all of the live talent it has. Then again, their syndicated fare's horrid, and it's a big ratings killer.

So, since we don't have ALL of the Arbitron ratings, plus the fact that we did a similar ratings book using Alexa.com, here's what we've concluded with:

STATIONS DOING WELL:
*106 KHQ
*97.5/98.9 KLT
*WTCM-FM 103.5/93.5
*Big Country 102.9 (does well especially in Straits area)
*WTCM-AM NewsTalk 580

STATIONS DOING OK, BUT NOTHING SPECIAL:
*94.3/92.5 The Fox
*WLDR Sunny Country 101.9
*Real Rock 105/95-5
*Classic Hits 107.5 WCCW
*Lite 96.3

STATIONS THAT SHOULD CONSIDER DOING SOME CHANGES:
*98.1/94.5/93.9/107.1 The Bear
*WMKT 1270
*WJML 1110
*Z93 (too fuddy-duddy for a CHR)
*Mix 96
*99.3 The Wolf (have I EVER heard one local commercial for that station? Also, what happened to their webstream?)

THE VERDICT IS OUT:
*WZTC 104.5 Bob FM
*WCDY 107.9
*WBNZ 92.3

ALREADY MAKING CHANGES:
*106.7/105.5 You FM (becoming ESPN 8.30)
*1310 WCCW (flipping to Fox Sports also on 8.30)
*WKAD 93.7/WMBN 1340 (already flipped to Fox Sports)

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

8.21.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Vladimir Putin





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: Vladimir Putin
Age: 52
Occupation: President of Russia
Last Seen: Moscow, Russia
Bee-otched For: being a pussy


---

And we all thought that Russia was going in the right direction.

One of the biggest stories in rock music at this moment is the tragedy surrounding three members of the Russian punk rock band Pussy Riot. Nadezhda Tolokonnikova, Yekaterina Samutsevich and Maria Alekhina are now serving two years in prison just for singing their songs of protest in a church.

Four of the members went to a Russian Orthodox Church last February where they performed the music video for the song above, "Punk Prayer". Lyrics of the tune included "Saint Maria, virgin, drive away Putin!" and "Church praises the rotten dictators/The cross-bearer procession of black limousines/In school you are going to meet with a teacher-preacher/Go to class - bring him money!"

The next month, two alleged members of the mostly-anonymous group were arrested for their hooliganistic efforts and a third was arrested a short time after. Two of the arrested members of the group - Maria and Nadezhda - are mothers to young children. They were convicted last week and sentanced to two years jail for each member.

Many are calling for Pussy Riot's release, including the two surviving Beastie Boys, Madonna, Yoko Ono and even Geddy Lee. Amnesty International called Pussy Riot's conviction "a blow to human expression" and there have been many protests in regards to the trio's sentancing.

I think it's beyond sad that this is 2012 and there's still countries around the world that spit on human rights. My heart goes out to these poor women who yes, DID break the law by tresspassing and disturbing the peace, but geez, two years for criticizing the government? Personally, if I had the money, I'd have one of the members of Pussy Riot - especially the members who DON'T have kids - live with me! I think they'll actually like Obama, especially since everybody on our local Clear Channel-owned AM talk stations trash him on a daily basis.

And why haven't they been shut down yet? Simple: a little brown piece of paper sitting in the National Archives in Washington...

---
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Thursday, August 9, 2012

8.9.12 Bee-otch of the Day: Wade Page



Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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-------------------



Name: Wade Page
Age: 40
Occupation: dead
Last Seen: in a Wisconsin morgue
Bee-otched For: being a skinhead jerk

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Movie theatres and churches should be the safest places on Earth, but when a sicko with a gun enters the building, the story changes drastically.

On Sunday, 40-year-old white supremacist Wade Page took his 9mm Springfield XD(M) into a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, WI and opened fire at its people, killing six. Five men and a woman were killed by Page. Police arrived at the temple and shot Page in the stomach, who ended up killing himself.

Sikhism is a religion mainly practiced by Indians. The six people killed in the melee were all Indian, including the temple's founder. Currently, there's about 500,000 Sikhs in America.

Page was a former truck driver who was a skinhead. He played in several neo-Nazi rock bands and rarely ever left his apartment. According to the police chief of Oak Park, he may never know the motive of Page's attacks. However, some speculated that Page was predicted a "racial holy war" that would have wiped out the Aryan race.

Since the attack, response has been varied. President Obama gave his condolences and ordered all flags be at half-staff to honor the victims. Pat Robertson plainly said that the reason for the attacks were because "Atheists hate God" (even though neo-Nazis like Page are Christians) and even the rock band Hatebreed have shot down terrible rumors that they're a hate band, but they're not.

Look, we're all different. What Wade Page did was sick and twisted. What he saw wrong in the Indian people is beyond anybody's imagination. These people are entitled to their religion and worship the God of their choosing. He did the right thing and killed himself. The world doesn't need to have losers like him running the planet.

The Sikhs that were killed in the massacre are now on a higher ground. Wade Page is somewhere else.

---
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Wednesday, August 8, 2012

8.8.12 Bee-otch of the Day: NBC





Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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Name: The National Broadcasting Company
Age: 86
Occupation: media giant
Last Seen: New York, NY
Bee-otched For: not having their priorities straight

---

Just a few more days until NBC's horrid Olympic coverage ends, kids.

Just imagine! No more lengthy tape delays, no more world laughing at us because their state-owned networks have better coverage than ours and most of all, no more embarrassment.

I know. I'm a little late on this (damn end-of the month conflicts plus an unexpected remodeling of Chuck69.com world headquarters (see Monday's Bee-otch of the Day for deets)), but better late than never. During the opening ceremonies a week ago Friday, NBC made one of the worst decisions in its long and storied history. They edited out a six-minute tribute to the 7-7 disaster to show an interview between Michael Phelps and Tinker Bell himself, Ryan Seacrest.

Without a doubt, many felt infuriated over the Peacock's decision not to show the tribute, especially since both 7-7 and 9-11 were products of al-Quida. NBC did release a statement, claiming that they're programming the Olympics specifically for American audiences. So a dopey, no-talent, overworked and overpaid douchebag like Ryan Seacrest is more important than paying tribute to a horrific disaster. Nice, NBC, nice.

I hope that somebody will do the world a favor and take the Olympics away from NBC in the future. We're tired of tape-delayed broadcasts and piss-poor hosting decisions. In comparison to other networks airing the games, I give NBC a D-. One person even claimed that Usain Bolt is so fast, that he can run back to America in time to see his races on NBC.

Remember, NBC is still partly owned by GE, who made a lot of the weapons used on the wars Bush started. Oh! His skank ho daughter's also reporting during the games. Nice!

Thankfully, there's still ways to get around NBC's horrid coverage of the games, like, oh, the internet. Otherwise, there's still the fact that NBC will be losing at least a billion bucks after this year's games end.

In the meantime, all the female gymnasts have cute asses this yea--oh, they're not 18 yet? Never mind.... 

---
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Monday, August 6, 2012

8.6.12 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party






Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


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-------------------



Name: The Republican Party
Age: 158
Occupation: right-winged jerks
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: making me live in a hellhole

---

Like many Americans, I wish I was living the American dream.

As I'm typing this at 4:30 a.m. on a Monday morning, it's 58 degrees outside. Yet, my AC is on full-blast, and I'm wearing sweatpants. Why? Well...

The story begins Thursday night when I came home from work after working a normal eight hours. I was scheduled for 10 hours, but because the lead man on my crew had the night off, I went home at a normal time. Boy, was I lucky.

One of my normal routines is to clean out my bathroom and other parts of my small apartment in Grand Rapids. However, as I was getting ready to spray Scrubbing Bubbles into my tub, a strange trickle of water started pouring on my head from the exhaust fan. That trickle of water turned into a stream and I grabbed the bucket. Soon, water started spreading from one ceiling to another, and I called maintenance. Thankfully, the repair man came within maybe five minutes (it felt like 15, though) and saw the travesty going on. He rushed upstairs and found the problem as I was rushing to save my items in my closets from getting drenched from the flood. In the end, my bathroom was flooded, and so were my closets. Not to mention, the ceiling in my bathroom started to sink in, and on Saturday morning, one of the sections of wet drywall collapsed.

After the melee, the repair guy and I wet-vac'd the floors - which are still damp three days later - and today, they're coming back to deodorize the carpets and re-do the ceiling in my bathroom. Sadly, they're coming this morning, so I might not get a whole lot of sleep.

So, what caused my poor 'ol apartment to get flooded? Simple: a nasty-ass old black woman lives upstairs from me apparently got all drunk, was about to take a bath, passed out and allowed her tub to overflow.

That fucking old ho is DAMN lucky I didn't come home later or else that place might have gone up in flames or collapsed. But, there's a lot of work that needs to be done and guess who's paying? YEP! SHE IS! Plus, my place has a "three strikes" policy which limits the asshole derelicts that seem to roam this place, giving it a bad rap, and she's on strike two. With the bullshit she's caused, if I were the landlord, I'd kick her ass out.

So, why's the Republican party getting Bee-otched and not her? Simple: they're the root of the problem. You see, I have no real choice but to live here. It's the only place in town that I can afford without getting a (groan) roommate or even better, a woman to live with me. Having a nice house is a dream, but not when you've been working for the same wages you've been making for almost a decade.

I love assholes who blast me for having "arrested development" because I have a crappy job and a crappy place to live. Guess what? It's all beyond my power. Ronald Reagan was elected as president in 1980, and he slashed taxes for the wealthy, cut education and busted the unions. The average American only makes on average 1% more than what they were making in 1980 while CEO pay has exploded. Sadly, in 30 years, we've only had two presidents who have moved this country in a positive direction and the last one we had gave us a huge surplus that reverted back to the wealthy thanks to the last loser in charge.

During the Clinton years, if you hated your job, you could cross the street. Now, it's difficult just to get even the lowest-paying entry-level jobs out there. I do have my resume online, but the majority of the companies that have sent me anything are crappy commission jobs.

But that's Grand Rapids for ya. Wanna be middle class? TOUGH. Instead of getting a job that has security and good pay, you're making the same wage as a burger flipper, living in a big building surrounded by questionable people. That's not the life I wanted. Yeah, I can go back to school... For what? To get another loser job that has no ladder?

Thanks, but that's why I vote Democrat. I want CEOs and big companies to pay their fair share in taxes. It's time to make this country a progressive FDR-style country again where people get good-paying jobs and less excuses. All the GOP wants is for you to get dumped on by a drunk nappy-headed ho while they sleep comfortably in their huge mansion in the country. Sorry, but it's time to play fair.

And once again, R goes backward while D goes forward and beyond.

---
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