6.6.13 Bee-otch of the Day: the media

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Name: the media
Age: ageless
Occupation: the publishers of our world
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: caring more about peanuts than elephants

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OK, I'll admit: when I go to a wedding, I cringe when I have to sit through "Cupid Shuffle".

Ever hear of it? It was a 2007 hip-hop/R&B tune by a singer whose name just happens to be Cupid. The song wasn't a huge pop hit, but it did well on the R&B charts, peaking at #21.

Although it might have been limited to urban contemporary stations, "Cupid Shuffle" is a hit at weddings because, well, it's a dance and chicks love it. Guess who also likes it? The IRS.

Yep, the IRS is in hot water all because of some videos they made for several conferences they held all in the expense of taxpayers. One of the videos teaches people how to do the Shuffle, another parodies Star Trek, another does Gilligan's Island and so on.

So, why in the hell is the media giving two flying fucks about this? Good question. I think it's because of the backlash the IRS got for targeting teabaggers recently. Why? After all, since the Koch Brothers are worth billions, I could care less on how they're being taxed.

How about this: GAS PRICES ARE NOW $4.29 HERE IN MICHIGAN. Why can't the media worry more on that? After all, we the people are paying big oil BILLIONS. Same goes to the billionaires and companies like GE that hardly pay a dime in taxes.

But yet, we have to worry about some one-hit-wonder from the 2000's?

Sorry folks, but I could care less about the IRS. Tax those wealthy-ass motherfuckers for all I care. Let's sock 'em with a 90% tax rate like FDR did back in the 1930's. It only boosted the economy and created jobs.

As for the IRS, I'll worry about them if I hear that they made a video featuring the Cha-Cha Slide.

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6.5.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Michele Bachmann

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Name: Michele Bachmann
Age: 57
Occupations: Minnesota congresswoman
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: being a quitter

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One of the biggest bitches in government is going bye-bye.

Last week, Michele Bachmann announced that she will not seek another term in her congressional seat. The Minnesota Republican had represented the state's sixth district since 2007.

Bachmann had quite a ride in her role, even running for president in 2012 that had her retiring her campaign due to poor poll numbers. She was famous for her homophobic views (she and her husband run a "pray away the gay" center) and the fact that she was nothing more than a mouthpiece for the Koch Bros. and the Tea Party movement.

But thankfully, there were those moments were she got her ass handed to her, like the time when she appeared on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and his house band, The Roots used an old Fishbone tune as her entrance theme.

That song, of course was "Lyin' Ass Bitch".

I think the reason for Bachmann's decision to leave Congress was simple: nobody likes her, period. She's all for Jebus freaks and rich folks, not for working class schmoes like you and me. She can go help people try to fix the sexual orientation God gave them all she wants. Just leave us normal people alone.

And don't let the door slam you on your googly eyes.



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6.4.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Rupert Murdoch and the Koch Bros.

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Names: Rupert Murdoch, Charles and David Koch
Ages: 82, 78 and 73
Occupations: media mogul, industrialists
Last Seen: New York, Iowa
Bee-otched For: wanting to imprison the press

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One of the rules of our First Amendment is that we have the Freedom of the Press.

But sadly, it looks like there's some people who want to purchase that right, and they're the Koch brothers.

Recently, the Tribune Company, the owners of the Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times and a myriad of TV stations like WGN-TV in Chicago and WXMI Fox 17 here in Grand Rapids, announced that they're up for sale for the tune of $660 million.

Right now, the two top bidders for Tribune are Rupert Murdoch and his News Corp, which owns 20th Century Fox, the Fox Network and the Fox News Channel, and the Koch Brothers, who fund pretty much anything to the right like the Tea Party. Many are fearing that the Kochs - who own Georgia-Pacific, Brawny paper towels and lots of drilling and mining subsidiaries - will ultimately end up with the Tribune so they could brainwash their readers and viewers with their right-winged hate.

But thankfully, somebody has started a campaign to make sure that Tribune doesn't end up in the hands of either the Kochs or even Uncle Rupert. The organization The Other 98% started a campaign on IndieGoGo.com to raise funds to purchase Tribune. They claim that if their goal is met, they would turn the company into a non-profit and make it a company for the people. However, if their goal's not met, they will reimburse everybody's penny back.

So far, there's 11 days to go and they've only raised  $138,000.

While I think it's awesome that there's people trying to show billionaires like the Kochs and Murdoch that community spirit works - they used the community-owned Green Bay Packers as an example - I don't think that people truly want to own a piece of a newspaper that they could publically own through stock already as-is. Yeah, the newspaper biz is dying thanks to the internet and big companies swallowing up small papers and using them to present their anti-middle class worldview, truth is, there's not enough people in the 98% column who have the money to try to make the Tribune non-profit.

Oh, and I know who to blame: people like Reagan, the two Bushes, the bought Congress... Yeppers!

Like many of you, I haven't had a raise in years. Hell, after I had to pay my rent this past week, I only had enough money left over to buy a marginal amount of groceries. I haven't had a raise in 10 years and like everybody else, my bills have exploded.

Maybe that's why they've only raised that much so far. The right-wing has hurt us so much that many who have heard about this campaign can't even scratch together the $10 "press protector" needed to minimally help the campaign.

Yeah, I know, many don't read the paper anymore. Hell, I haven't bought a paper in years. I was given a free copy of the Grand Rapids Press a few months ago and I only read the comics. But like I said, Tribune also owns several TV stations and one radio station, WGN, which they've owned since 1924 (WGN's call letters stand for "World's Greatest Newspaper", you know). Here in Grand Rapids, our CBS affiliate, WWMT channel 3 is owned by Sinclair Broadcasting and they have lots of close ties with the right. As a matter of fact, they air many ads for an "Obamacare survival guide" that got the thumbs up from Newsmax (why that doesn't surprise me?).

Maybe that's why I do hope that The Other 98% should take over the Tribune and make it non-profit. It'll never happen, but maybe if some of the wealthier members of our elite group hear about this, they'll open their wallets.

But in the words of R.E.M., if wishes were trees, the trees would be falling.


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6.3.13 Bee-otch of the Day: Alex Jones

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Name: Alex Jones
Age: 39
Occupation: right-winged radio talker
Last Seen: Austin, TX
Bee-otched For: losing a few

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The world of right-winged extremist talk radio is a sad and cruel one.

Last week, I was on Facebook, and my cousin posted that Alex Jones was a jerk. I asked why, and he was telling me that his views had gotten more extreme over the past few weeks. This time, he claims that the recent twisters in Oklahoma City were all caused by (get this) a machine that the government created that has the power to create an EF-5 like the one that decimated Moore, OK. As a result, my cousin has given up on Jones and his Dale Gribble-like rants on the government and pretty much everything.

It appears also that Jones has lost at least one affiliate in recent weeks, and it was his sole Michigan affiliate, WJML 1110 Petoskey and 1210 Traverse City. They had been airing Jones from 6-8 p.m. on tape delay, but it could also be due to an affiliate shift as well. According to his syndicator's website, Jones also airs on WYPV 94.5 Mackinaw City/93.9 Mio, which recently moved from 106.3 in Onaway as part of a deal with Northern Star Broadcasting.

WYPV's studio, like WJML's is also in Petoskey.

WJML has replaced Jones with one hour of Clark Howard and another hour of Dr. Joel Wallach's Dead Doctors Don't Lie. which 'JML has carried for years. Sadly, WJML started airing Jones' show as a replacement for Ed Schultz and no longer carries any liberal talkers.

WJML still airs Glenn Beck, Herman Cain, Mike Huckabee and Michael Savage. However, non-political talkers have made their way to the station's schedule such as Howard and Dave Ramsey.

However, WYPV's website claims that they don't carry Jones' show as of yet. The syndicator, Genesis Communications claims that WYPV airs Jones noon-3 p.m. Then again, WYPV is a teabagger's dream since they also carry Mark Levin and shows from Salem Communications and Radio America.

But back to Jones. Let's not forget that one of his biggest fans was the spearheader of the Boston bombings. He loved Jones' anti-government rants and often took them for granted.

You see, folks, Jones is nothing more than a dork who can't get a grip on reality. He thinks that Obama's a Muslim born in Kenya, he thinks that 9/11 was an inside job, and so on and so on. Oh, I love that little paranoid rant he threw to Piers Morgan about the gub'ment taking our guns away just because of the Sandy Hook disaster. Friz Freleng, eat your heart out.

This Summer, don't drink the Kool-Aid.

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5.23.13 Bee-otch of the Day: the people of northern Michigan

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: northern Michigan
Bee-otched For: proving their stupidity ---

Something tells me that people up north need to get a life.

Recently, somebody started an interactive map called the "Geography of Hate", which tracks hateful Twitter messages from all of America.

The site tracks racial and homophobic slurs, alongside a slur that offends the disabled. Here in Michigan, the most-hateful slurs seem to come from northern Michigan.

For an example, the word "dyke" is said in Twitter accounts based in Big Rapids, Lansing and Flint areas, but the area that shows the most hate is the Indian River area. Overall, the most homophobic Tweets come from the Reed City and Kalkaska areas statewise.

But when it comes to racism, once again it's northern Michigan that takes the cake. The heaviest areas where the n-word is blurted out are Marquette, Gaylord and Traverse City. Other racist terms aren't real present throughout the state.

I'll betcha that a lot of the people up north who say the n-word with pride do so because they live up there to stay away from all the blacks. After all, northern Michigan is about 95% white and some of them are quite stupid. But that's what happens when you live in one of the largest areas without any four-year university.

I remember visiting some relatives who live near Traverse City about five years ago. We were talking about Obama and they were telling me not to vote for him because he's similar to Kwame Kilpatrick. REALLY?! Kwame couldn't even lift Obama's suitcase. Too many people up north look at a black person and think he's a thug. A lot of people up north are ex-Detroiters who blame the city's demise on the blacks taking over the city.

The truth is, the internet is public. You write something on line and it'll stay there forever, like it or not. I hope anybody who writes racial slurs on Twitter will grow up and look at their past one day and think to themselves, "I wrote this?"

You did.

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5.22.13 Hero of the Day: Ray Manzarek

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Ray Manzarek
Age: was 74
Occupation: keyboardist of The Doors
Last Seen: in the great beyond
Awarded For: being one of rock's finest ---

When one door closes, another one opens.

But when two doors are closed forever, we should be thankful that two are still open.

Ray Manzarek, the keyboardist of the legendary rock band The Doors died on Monday at the age of 74 after battling bile duct cancer. Ray was a man who one of rock's most-talented, giving the band its distinctive sound.

While most rock bands are made up of a singer, guitarist, bassist and drummer, plus maybe a keyboardist, The Doors was made up of a drummer (John Densmore), a guitarist (Robby Kreiger), Manzarek and a soulful lizard king named Jim Morrison. While Morrison was the heart and soul of the band, Ray was its multi-tasker tickling the ivories with one band and playing a bass piano with another, making him The Doors' de facto bassist. He was pretty much the band's elder statesman, being the only member of the group's sole member born in the 1930's.

When The Doors formed in 1965, The Beatles were still a pop band that had just found America and the free love of the late 60's was still a few years away. After only two years together, they had their first album - self-titled - and their first #1 hit, "Light My Fire". Their other #1 was "Hello, I Love You" from their Waiting For The Sun LP.

In just a four-year period, The Doors released six albums and toured constantly. having to deal with Morrison's erratic behavior. Jim's short 27 years on Earth ended in a Paris hotel room on July 3rd, 1971. Manzarek, Densmore and Kreiger tried to continue sans Morrison as a trio for two more albums (with their first Morrison-less effort being called Other Voices). The band disbanded in 1973 but Ray continued to perform in other bands and many Doors reunions.

Ray is survived by his wife of 46 years, Dorothy Fujikawa, a son and three grandchildren.

Hopefully, he'll be riding to the great beyond on a crystal ship.

 
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5.21.13 Bee-otch of the Day: terrestrial radio

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Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 93
Occupation: entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: dying---

This season's finale of Fox's Kitchen Nightmares was a true hoot.

Chef Gordon Ramsay paid a visit to Amy's Baking Company in Scottsdale, AZ, near Phoenix. The restaurant was notorious for their owners, Amy and Samy Bouzaglo yelling and swearing at customers who hate their food and their slow service. Because the two stood by their food, which is mostly frozen and pre-packaged, Ramsay stormed away from the restaurant and the two owners were happy he left.

Since the episode aired, multitudes of people have slammed ABC for they way they treat their customers and employees online. One individual was nice enough to start a Facebook page called "Crazy Amy's Baking Company" and made several fake commercials for the eatery with some teasing Amy for constantly meowing to her three cats.

Now, the two are planning to re-open ABC this Tuesday in hopes that the newly-reimaged restaurant will reverse the negative attention the place got from the episode.

Sadly, the attitudes of certain restrauntuers are no different than those who own certain radio stations. When I was a teenager, I was into KoRn, Rage Against the Machine, Tool, Nine Inch Nails and so much more. But, when it came to rock, the local stations in northern Michigan were in a battle to see who could play "Brown-Eyed Girl" more times in one day.

When I was young, I hated northern Michigan radio, and I still do. I busted my ass off to find ways to get distant signals from towns that had better rockers than that of KLT, The Zone and The Bear. Sometimes, I got WKLQ 94.5 out of Holland with some success, but that was if the tropo was right.

Now, there's satellite radio and internet radio, and you can get those stations quite easily on any smartphone. Plus, there's over 20 million subscribers to SiriusXM, so all should be well.

Now, northern Michigan has four rock stations. KLT and The Bear are still around while The Zone gave way to Real Rock 105 and 95-5 which gave way to Rock 105. Also, there's Q100.3 out of Grayling which is a classic-leaning AAA. Both KLT and The Bear are predominately classic rockers while Rock 105 is a 90's-focused rocker.

True, I should give Rock 105 props for giving people an alternative to the butt rock forced on us elsewhere, but it's sad that when they were Real Rock, they actually played new rock all the time. Now, certain songs won't get played on the station until maybe three months after everybody else has started playing them.

If you visit Rock 105's Facebook page and click on "posts by others", you'll see that they're, well, not well-liked. Listeners have called the station "repetitive", "grungy" and critiqued them for not playing enough new rock. One listener talked about how there's a lot of great new rock out there, and yet they're ODing on 90's music. "Smitty" responded by saying that new rock doesn't "test well", and yet the poster responded that when the station had the weekly "Buzz Cut", people overly responded positively to that. He hasn't been responded to.

I look at Rock 105's playlist and it's not too bad, but there's hardly any new rock and songs that don't fit the format (ie I saw "I've Seen All Good People" by Yes, plus Blink 182's "What's My Age Again" and Alex Clare's "Too Close"). Plus, I'm pissed that their Sunday night metal show "The Asylum" is gone. I wouldn't be too surprised if the recent switches at Rock 105 were all driven by consultants who all think that Traverse City is too much of a hick town to support something that's new and edgy. Therefore, instead of the latest from Alice in Chains, Volbeat, Device and other bands, northern Michigan's stuck with Art Alexakis crying about his daddy giving him a name and he walked away for the 347,462nd time in 15 years.

The reason why I'm pointing this out is because a recent poll by the firm Harris revealed that 60% of all Americans believe that terrestrial radio will be dead in five years. They're tuning in to services like Pandora and Slacker to avoid listening to commercials and overplayed songs.

It might also explain why some stations are also aiming for older audiences, such as northern Michigan's rock stations. Younger people tend to listen to music off their smartphones over traditional AM/FM stations. But the question is, will radio survive the next five years, or even more? I look at downstate rockers vs. the ones up north. Look at WGRD: successful morning show, always quick to add new tunes and their night jock's a hottie. Rock 105 has three local jocks and two that are fed from other markets and the same 200 songs over and over. If you lived up north, what station would you want to listen to?

Duh.

Point is, radio needs to adapt and make changes. They need to stop listening to consultants and start listening to the listeners. Rock 105 was Northern Star Broadcasting's best-rated station when it was Real Rock and they killed it, crying that their ratings were too low. That kind of mentality will only drive listeners away. Just look at WKLQ here in Grand Rapids.

But hey, Howard's got a new $50 million mansion in Florida. :D


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