BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!
Name: baby boomers
Age: 56-72
Occupation: nearing retirement or already retiredLast Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not creating more Toys 'R' Us kids
Age: 56-72
Occupation: nearing retirement or already retiredLast Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not creating more Toys 'R' Us kids
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When I was a kid living in northern Michigan, I wanted to be a Toys 'R' Us kid.
But sadly, Geoffrey the Giraffe spat on us for many, many years.
Traverse City didn't have a Toys 'R' Us, so I got my toys usually from Kmart, Circus World (which was part of Kay-Bee Toys) and my mom's personal fave, Witmark. As a matter of fact, I only went to Toys 'R' Us once and it was only after I begged my parents when we were in the Detroit area. Traverse City FINALLY got a T'R'U... when I was 15.
Needless to say, I might be one of the few people that shed nary a tear when it was announced a few weeks ago that the 70-year-old chain was closing its doors due to bankruptcy. A lot of the problem stemmed from of course, competition from bigger box stores like Walmart, Target and internet retailers like Amazon.
But Toys 'R' Us claims that another factor killed them: the fact that people my age and younger just aren't having kids.
In a filing made recently, they claimed that America's decreasing birth rates equated to troubled sales since their audience was indeed children. As a matter of fact, their sales started to slump in the early 90s thanks to declining birth rates. As a matter of fact, per 1000 women, there's only 62 births.
So, what's the reason for millennials and us Gen-Xers (and DON'T call me a millennial) not having kids? Simple. It's a little something called money.
You see, the baby boomers had it all because their fathers fought for them in World War II. They came home, banged their wives and out came their children. In the mid-20th century, you can have a high school diploma and make a crap ton of money working at a factory. College wasn't very expensive, either.
But then, the boomers made a sick, ugly mistake in 1980: they voted in that guy who was in the Bonzo movies.
In the eight years he had in the White House, Reagan fucked up the middle class and busted the unions. Schools suffered and those making minimum wage didn't see a wage increase throughout the 80s. Clinton didn't help a lot of matters because of NAFTA and Telecom 96, which fucked up a lot of peoples' (like myself) dreams of being a radio personality. Hell, under Bush II, I didn't see a wage increase of my own for ten years. So in 37 years, sadly, the only president that's worth giving a damn about has been Obama.
Folks, my grandfather was 26 when my Dad was born. My Dad was 29 when I came into the earth. Now, I'll be 37 in May and I'm single like a Pringle. I was in a relationship recently that turned into a nightmare. So therefore, no kids in the near future for me. My parents would love for me to be in a relationship and have kids, but as long as having children costs money, well, there you go.
This is why I will never vote Republican, folks. I want to have some of the advantages the wealthy have, but not as long as they tell me that I have to work harder for my money. So if the Repukes want more Toys 'R' Us kids, they gotta give us more cash to help us. Otherwise, Geoffrey is going to become extinct real shortly.
Of course I won't be making any kids real soon. Instead, I'm gonna watch some lesbo porn, rub one into a Kleenex and flush it down the toilet.
---
When I was a kid living in northern Michigan, I wanted to be a Toys 'R' Us kid.
But sadly, Geoffrey the Giraffe spat on us for many, many years.
Traverse City didn't have a Toys 'R' Us, so I got my toys usually from Kmart, Circus World (which was part of Kay-Bee Toys) and my mom's personal fave, Witmark. As a matter of fact, I only went to Toys 'R' Us once and it was only after I begged my parents when we were in the Detroit area. Traverse City FINALLY got a T'R'U... when I was 15.
Needless to say, I might be one of the few people that shed nary a tear when it was announced a few weeks ago that the 70-year-old chain was closing its doors due to bankruptcy. A lot of the problem stemmed from of course, competition from bigger box stores like Walmart, Target and internet retailers like Amazon.
But Toys 'R' Us claims that another factor killed them: the fact that people my age and younger just aren't having kids.
In a filing made recently, they claimed that America's decreasing birth rates equated to troubled sales since their audience was indeed children. As a matter of fact, their sales started to slump in the early 90s thanks to declining birth rates. As a matter of fact, per 1000 women, there's only 62 births.
So, what's the reason for millennials and us Gen-Xers (and DON'T call me a millennial) not having kids? Simple. It's a little something called money.
You see, the baby boomers had it all because their fathers fought for them in World War II. They came home, banged their wives and out came their children. In the mid-20th century, you can have a high school diploma and make a crap ton of money working at a factory. College wasn't very expensive, either.
But then, the boomers made a sick, ugly mistake in 1980: they voted in that guy who was in the Bonzo movies.
In the eight years he had in the White House, Reagan fucked up the middle class and busted the unions. Schools suffered and those making minimum wage didn't see a wage increase throughout the 80s. Clinton didn't help a lot of matters because of NAFTA and Telecom 96, which fucked up a lot of peoples' (like myself) dreams of being a radio personality. Hell, under Bush II, I didn't see a wage increase of my own for ten years. So in 37 years, sadly, the only president that's worth giving a damn about has been Obama.
Folks, my grandfather was 26 when my Dad was born. My Dad was 29 when I came into the earth. Now, I'll be 37 in May and I'm single like a Pringle. I was in a relationship recently that turned into a nightmare. So therefore, no kids in the near future for me. My parents would love for me to be in a relationship and have kids, but as long as having children costs money, well, there you go.
This is why I will never vote Republican, folks. I want to have some of the advantages the wealthy have, but not as long as they tell me that I have to work harder for my money. So if the Repukes want more Toys 'R' Us kids, they gotta give us more cash to help us. Otherwise, Geoffrey is going to become extinct real shortly.
Of course I won't be making any kids real soon. Instead, I'm gonna watch some lesbo porn, rub one into a Kleenex and flush it down the toilet.
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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