Bee-otch of the Day

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

3.23.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Victoria Jackson

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: Victoria Jackson
Age: 51
Occupation: SNL has-been
Last Seen: Florida
Bee-otched For: turning into a royal bitch

---

In its 36 years on the air, Saturday Night Live has produced many, many stars. But, it has also given us a has-been here and there.

And sadly, Victoria Jackson is no exception.

During her 1986-1992 tenure on SNL, Jackson was the ditzy sex symbol known for her acting like the typical blonde airhead. She was even probably the sole SNL-er to do a nude scene in a movie (correct me if I'm wrong), baring her ass (and some vaginal overhang) in the 1988 flick Casual Sex?

But as soon as she left the show, her career, well, died. She did some small roles on TV shows, but that was it. She gained a lot of weight and appeared on the showCelebrity Fit Club. However, she became a born-again Christian, and her love of politics grew to the point of pure absurdity. To add some nasty, past-its-expiration date frosting to the moldy cake, she's made multiple appearances on The 700 Club .

In the past several years, Jackson has been drinking the Tea Party Kool-Aid. She's a very vocal critic of President Obama, even to the point that she claims that he was born in Kenya. This from a woman who didn't even vote until she was 41 and probably gets most of her viewpoints from Fox News Channel and Rush Limbaugh. She was even nice enough to blast fellow SNL cast member and Minnesota Senator Al Franken for his liberal views.

But now, Jackson is making some idiotic views on gays. On her blog, she talked about how disgusted she was over the Fox show Glee for showing two men kissing each other. She mentioned that The Bible was her sole authority on her position and that "secular humanism" is the reason why there's a "decline in morality" that led to what happened on the popular Fox show.

And this from a woman who bared her ass twice in Casual Sex?

Ya know, Victoria's nothing more than a media whore whose career died the second she left SNL. True, I'll agree with her on the fact that Glee sucks, but it does because of its shitty remakes of decent songs using a fake high school choir. Another SNL-er that most people don't hear from these days, Laraine Newman is a far-better blogger than Jackson is.

Sorry, but Victoria Jackson's nothing more than an embarrassment to all of human nature. She can take her tea party bullshit and shove it so far up her fat ass that not even a trip to the Love Toilet could save her.

May Toonces the Driving Cat drive her over the edge of a cliff.

---

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com !
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

3.22.11 Bee-otch of the Day: the auto companies

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: the auto companies
Ages: various
Occupation: auto makers
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: still leaking oil

---

Oh, great. Another war has begun.

Our beloved country has sent troops over to Libya in attempts to free that country from its evil leader, Moammar Gadhafi. The Pentagon claims that we're gonna be outta there in a few weeks. OK, so how long have we been in Iraq and Afghanistan again?

Ya know, I look at other countries and the way they run things. Culture and religion play a role in their upbringing, and yes, good 'ol oil.

Because of the unrest in Libya, crude oil is now above $100 per barrel. Here in Grand Rapids, the average gas price is $3.61, $3.57 in the state and $3.53 in the country. Speculators claim that gas prices will be $4 per gallon by Summer and it could mean dire consequences for the still-struggling economy.

In other words, where's our electric cars?

I know, next year, we'll be see the likes of the Chevy Volt and Nissan Leaf zooming up and down our freeways. However, both cars still use some gas and oil. True, the Volt will get 93 MPG, but the electric cars of the 1990s might have been much better in regards to gas use.

Both GM and Ford had electric cars on the road in the 1990s, and they did not use one drop of gas. For $400 per month, you could lease these cars, but not buy them. So, when the leases expired, the leasees of these cars lost them. Guess where these cars landed? The junkyard. Why? Because apparently, the oil companies got angry at the auto makers over the fact that they were going to lose some bucks over these cars. So, not only did they got rid of their electric cars, GM bought out Hummer in 1999.

Thankfully, the government took over GM and demanded the company not only get rid of Hummer, but also bring back the electric car. The good news is that they did, but sadly, it still uses gas since it's supposed to fuel the electric engine.

Of course, there's alternative fuels, especially ethanol. But, ethanol does have its problems, namely the fact that it causes deposits in your engine, when burned, it releases hydroflourocarbons into the atmosphere and the fact that it jacks up the price of corn. True, corn's a renewable energy, but remember, there aren't as many farms as there were 50 years ago. Once a land is developed, it's gone.

The point is, we're WAAAAAAY behind regarding finding a suitable replacement for gas and oil. We should have stuck to the electric cars of the 1990s instead of pleasing rich losers with small peni. But once again, the small guy loses, the fat cats win and our young folks are gonna get thrown into another senseless war over oil.

War over oil. Screwing people over since 1991.

---

Monday, March 21, 2011

3.21.11 Bee-otch of the Day: people who didn't vote in 2010

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not voting

---

In the past month, the picket signs have been up in Wisconsin and Michigan over union rights.

Wisconsin's protests lasted for several weeks, but Michigan's lasted just one day, not counting the day prior when the AARP protested over retirement rights at the state capitol.

Now, I hate to defend both Scott Walker and Rick Snyder, but here's an observation: how many of these protesters ACTUALLY voted in the 2010 midterms?

Let's face it: Rick Snyder won by 20% of the vote over opponent Virg Bernero. But, in Wisconsin, Walker won by just 125,000 votes over Tom Barret. About two million people voted in that state, population 5.7 million. I understand that many of those people are those under 18 and cannot vote, but the question remains: why DON'T people vote?

I think the sick, sad reason is simple: people think that because Obama won in 2008 and is our president that the worst is over. It isn't. Look at Michigan. For eight years, we had Jennifer Granholm as our governor and many blame her for the fact that this state went into a free-fall this past decade. Jobs disappeared and she didn't do much. The truth was that the Republicans were screwing things up by sending jobs overseas and to Right to Work states. Let's not also forget that much of this bullshit actually began back in the 1980s with Reagan and his policies to bust up unions. Let's not also forget the fact that in 1987, his FCC abolished the decades old Fairness Doctrine, which forced broadcasters to air opinions from all sides. Now, you put it on an AM talk station, and it's Republican sympathizers 24/7.

But, there's also the reason that people have empathy towards voting. The media blames everything on Obama and the fact that he can't save the country overnight. So, people take it as the wind blows and they have others opine for them.

The truth is, I love to vote. Why? Because it's time to wipe this nation clean of the right-winged bullshit that has destroyed this nation for generations. I want America to come back and create high-paying jobs for everybody. But as long as we allow right-wingers to win, the middle class will get out their signs and protest, even though some of them allowed this to happen.

Do we want change in Michigan? YES! But Rick Snyder's plan for change is to transform Michigan from a union state to a Right to Work one, causing workers in this state to struggle. Bills keep going up, but pay hasn't for most people. The only way for us to make things work is to turn off Fox News Channel and Rush Limbaugh and wake the fuck up. Michael Moore's not a bad guy, he stands up for the middle class! Why are Rush and his kin standing against him? Same with radio show hosts like Thom Hartmann and Mike Malloy. Let's listen to what the left has to say because after all, when you privatize something, it goes straight to hell.

So in 2012, do the world a favor: VOTE FOR OBAMA AGAIN!

---

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

3.17.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 52
Occupation: multi-millionaire
Last Seen: Lansing, MI
Bee-otched For: pissing way too many people off

---

It's official: we're screwed.

On Wednesday afternoon, Michigan governor Rick Snyder proved to the state that he's nothing more than a CEO in charge as he signed into law six bills that would allow emergency financial managers running cities and schools to strip people of their union contracts. Many Democrats and union supporters felt that Snyder's bill would create dictatorships and force local leaders out of office.

While Snyder was pissing off unions, 3,000-plus people were protesting at the Capitol, angered at the fact that Snyder would strip unions' rights while preserving the finances of the state's billionaires. As a matter of fact, according to Michael Moore's Twitter, Snyder was at an insurance company's headquarters congratulating them on $100 billion in assets.

Also, it's worth noting that there were some arrests, including five young adults that were still in the Capitol when it was closing down for the day. Jonathan Jones, a Kalamazoo Valley Community College student who was arrested said "if I don't have moral integrity, what do I have?"

It's true: Rick Snyder's a man with no morals. He relied on Granholm haters to elect him since the right attacked her for years. The truth is - and I'm tired of saying this - it's jerkoffs like Reagan, the two Bushes, Engler and eventually Snyder who are destroying this once great state. The solution isn't to screw the middle class, it's to convince the wealthy that they don't need too much money to survive. Our state has people like Meijer, DeVos and Ford to help us out. If they don't want to budge, it'll only make them more evil and make us all want to avoid their products.

Remember, it was the Democrats who saved the auto industry. We bought GM and now it's profitable. Same as Chrysler. I want Michigan to come back, but all Snyder is doing is popping champagne bottles with his CEO buddies. Look, I'll be 30 in May, and it's time for me to grow up and move on. Thanks to the Repukes, I haven't had a raise in years and my apartment could be better. However, I'm in better shape than many people who went from making $30 at GM to $9.32 an hour at Walmart at 35 hours per week who are about to lose their homes.

Once again, here's another phrase I'm tired of using, but it'll be useful for the next four years: don't blame me, I've never voted for a Republican.

---

3.16.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Aflac

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: American Life Assurance Company of Columbus
Age: 56
Occupation: supplemental insurance company
Last Seen: Columbus, GA
Bee-otched For: ducking Gilbert Gottfried

---

In this lifetime, when a comedian makes off-color jokes, everything's A-OK.

But if it's about the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan, you're gonna lose your job.

It's official: Aflac has fired Gilbert Gottfried as the iconic voice of the Aflac Duck after he made some raucous comments regarding the recent disaster that has left over 2,000 dead and fears of a nuclear disaster. On his Twitter account, Gottfried made several jokes about the disaster that many are crying "too soon". The tweets have been removed, but one of them said that the Japanese were so advanced that instead of going to the beach, the beach comes to them. Apparently, Aflac does a lot of business in that country - one out of four households - so it's no laughing matter to them.

Weird, since Gottfried's been making off-color jokes for years. He's a regular at comedy roasts and even The Howard Stern Show, which frequently uses his soundbyte "what are you, a homo?" His jokes attack people of all races, creeds. religion and such, but when it comes to tragedy, it's time for Aflac to make Duck Soup out of the 30-year comedy vet.

The Aflac Duck was introduced in 1999, and not long afterward, the company hired the nasally-voiced Gottfried to do the bird's voice. The ads were so popular that in 2005, Aflac changed their logo to incorporate the duck.

With Gottfried's canning, Aflac will do a nationwide search to replace Gottfried as the voice of the duck. Mel Blanc was Bugs Bunny and Jim Henson was Kermit the Frog. They were replaced only because they died, and their replacements weren't as good as the original. Gottfried's still around, and it just won't be the same without him.

You see, I've learned that people can be so hypocritical when they judge others. I've been judged by some of the most-fucked-up assholes in life and I've seen the hypocrisy in them. Aflac knew for years that Gottfried has never had a rosy image despite the fact that he's done family-friendly stuff like the parrot from Disney's Aladdin and the principal from the Problem Child movies. There's no law stating that R-rated comics can't do G-rated stuff; just ask Richard Pryor, George Carlin and even Chris Rock.

But, who knows? Aflac's a southern company and I'll betcha their owners aren't the sharpest tools in the shed. They're just publicity whores looking for free advertising, plain and simple. Thank God I don't deal with them.

I just hope they don't replace him with "Huge" Bill Simonson. Just imagine the duck saying "before I say the name of the company, this portion of this ad is brought to you by Little Caesars. When it's time for a HUGE pizza deal, look to the $5.55 Hot-N-Ready everyday at Little Caesars, and that portion of this ad is brought to you by Miller Lite...."

---

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

3.15.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 53
Occupation: former CEO, Gateway
Last Seen: Lansing, MI
Bee-otched For: chasing away Fiddy... and maybe even Grandma

---

Oh, no! Not Fiddy!

It's true. Rapper/actor Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson's new movie "Freelancers" is moving its filming locale to Louisiana because of the troubled future of the state's film initiative. Michigan had the highest rate in the nation, but it's being capped at $25 million because of the latest budget from governor Rick Snyder.

It's not just the only production being moved; a $100 million prequel to "The Wizard of Oz" called "Oz: The Great and Powerful" is being moved to California because of Snyder's budget proposals. Last year, because of the film initiative, 50 movie and TV shows were shot in the state. Now, thanks to the $25 million cap, one or two will only get filmed, if best.

But that's not all; according to the governor's budget proposals, businesses in the state will receive $1.8 billion in rebates. Guess where the money's coming from? The wealthy? Nope. How about people who shouldn't get taxed? Ding, ding, ding, ding.

Yep! According to Rachel Maddow, the money to fund Snyder's business bullshit's coming from, of all people, the elderly and poor people. Those folks will get a $1.7 billion tax hike so people like the DeVoses can rake in more money.

You know, I loved the film initiative. One of my favorite stories about it regarded the Michael Cera flick "Youth in Revolt". It was filmed mainly in Frankfort, MI, which is tucked away in the middle of nowhere on Lake Michigan's shoreline. People in this small town of 1,500 were damn happy to have the dude from "Superbad" in their town. Hell, the film had its debut at their Garden Theatre, which was in disrepair just a few years ago until new owners and community volunteers stepped in and fixed it up.

Thanks to Snyder, the fun's gonna end, the unions will get even more busted and I think more people will leave the state. Michigan was the only state in the past ten years to lose population. Guess what? It wasn't Granholm's fault! It was because Repukes were making deals with Toyota to build factories in right to work states like Mississippi to avoid the unions. Thing is, we're not broke. Thanks to people like Reagan, the two Bushes, Engler and now Snyder, the wealthy are sitting on what should be raises and money for US.

But hey, I didn't vote for him.

---

Monday, March 14, 2011

3.14.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Citadel Broadcasting

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

DON'T FORGET TO "LIKE" BEE-OTCH OF THE DAY ON FACEBOOK! -------------------

Name: Citadel Broadcasting
Age: 27
Occupation: broadcast giant
Last Seen: Las Vegas
Bee-otched For: becoming even bigger

---

Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Brian Jones, Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix all met their maker at the tender age of 27.

Now, it's going to be Citadel Broadcasting's turn.

Last week, it was announced that Cumulus Broadcasting had finalized their buyout of Citadel and its assets for just over $2.4 billion. The buyout will involve its radio stations and what used to be the ABC Radio Network, which is now Citadel Media. Cumulus will end up with 572 radio stations and radio stations in all major Arbitron markets in Michigan except Traverse City.

For years, Citadel had been a bitch in the world of broadcasting and deservingly so. Here in Grand Rapids, it all started in 2002 when the company appointed Matt Hanlon as the General Manager of their cluster there. Since his takeover, he's managed to destroy rock leader WKLQ while their audience migrated over to WGRD, making that station Grand Rapids' rock leader, he's fired many hard-working people and replaced them with no-talent jerk-offs like Michael Grey and Darren Arriens, he hired many big-market losers like Ron and Don and Kevin Matthews to no-good ratings and so on. Let's not forget how he screwed over Howard Stern and his listeners here in Grand Rapids.

And even though none of his stations are in the top five in the Arbitrons, plus the fact that he helped Citadel run into bankruptcy, good 'ol Matty boy's still in charge.

But tragically, Cumulus ain't much better, at least on a political standpoint. In the early 2000's, they dumped Howard Stern from all of their stations claiming that his show was too expensive to air, even though in most markets, airing his show's the same price as airing Rush Limbaugh. Affected markets included Toledo and Davenport, IA.

Let's not forget that it was Cumulus that made it cool to hate the Dixie Chicks because of lead singer Natalie Maines' Bush-bashing on stage in London. To prove that they've pledged alliegence to the Bush Crime family, most of their Top 40 pop stations now air Billy Bush's nighttime radio show. While a young DJ is struggling to find a job, Billy boy gets to make more money.

The point is, it's corporate radio business as usual. Listeners come last while the neocon advertisers come first. Meanwhile in the process, the listener now has more options, such as satellite radio and MP3s. For many like myself, terrestrial radio is as useful as the 8-track player or (lol) HD radio.

I still feel that terrestrial radio needs to work harder to maintain listenership if they want to keep them. Billy Bush won't save radio, and neither will blacklisting the Dixie Chicks. Hell, there's a small daytime-only country station in North Carolina that played the Dixie Chicks recently, and on their Facebook page, a man thanked them for playing them.

Radio: it's time for a change.

---