Bee-otch of the Day

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

5.20.20 Bee-otch of the Day: terrestrial radio

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 100
Occupation: entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: listeners? What are those?

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It's amazing how people will fight for something.

For years, people here in Grand Rapids fought for a Chick-fil-A and now, we have several. Of course, some still want a White Castle and whether or not they'll build one here is anyone's guess.

When it comes to rock, people have always been passionate. For example, in 1957 a ten-year-old boy named Terry Ingstad felt disenfranchised over the fact that both radio stations in his hometown of Jamestown, North Dakota - pop. 15,000 didn't play rock music. So, his uncle gave him a mini transmitter, kinda like Mr. Microphone from the 1970s. Terry's inner-Tim Allen was screaming for more power. Since his father knew the local TV repairman, Terry went to see him to see if he could boost the signal. He had spare parts in his back room and taught him on how to use them to boost the signal. When Terry got home, he built a small tower on the family home's roof. After it was erected, he turned on the transmitter, plopped down a record and he and his father got into the car. They wanted to know how far the signal went before it faded. They drove one mile, which covered a small fraction of Jamestown. Despite a small setup of just a turntable and a reel-to-reel tape recorder, Terry's station was a hit. Teenage girls constantly knocked on the door with records for him to play. Soon, Terry's uncle - the one who gave him the original transmitter - came to him, and asked if he wanted to work at his station Saturday mornings. You see, Terry's uncle owned one of those two official stations, KEYJ. He agreed, and at the age of ten, Terry Ingstad started hosting his own weekly program called Spin With Terry. Not long afterward, he was featured in Life Magazine as "The World's Youngest DJ".

Terry Ingstad's 15 minutes of fame did not wear out. He continued to work in radio throughout his teens and eventually, he got a position at a station in Fargo. Then, it was Tucson, Boston and then Los Angeles where he worked at legendary KHJ in the late 60s and later, other well-known L.A. stations. By the 1980s, he made it big as one of the stars of Hollywood Squares and the longtime host of American Top 40. Most recently, he was the announcer of The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson and is the current voice of the classic TV channel Antenna TV.

By now, you know Terry Ingstad, the quirky ten-year-old who built a radio station from his family's attic as... Shadoe Stevens.

As the late Paul Harvey once said, "And now you know the rest of the story"... Or do you?

In 1973, Shadoe became one of the founding DJs and programmers of a radio station called KROQ. He did leave briefly to help program the now-defunct KMET 94.7 (one of his notorious stunts was creating billboards of the KMET logo upside down) only to return in 1975. During Stevens' stint - which ended in 1979 - KROQ was playing a huge role in bringing the punk and new wave genres to Los Angeles and the world. Other jocks like Rodney Bingenheimer, Jed the Fish, Richard Blade and Raechel Donahue helped to shape KROQ as a station that made left-of-the-dial college rock cool and commercial.

Throughout its nearly-50 years on the air, KROQ has been a walking history of alternative rock like Soul Train was to R&B. It broke many artists and helped launch careers.

Now, KROQ is on "life support", at least according to a beloved entertainment publication.

Variety published an article about KROQ called "It’s the End of the World Famous KROQ as We Know It" yesterday. The article talks about how the station, which once was the top station in the City of Angels is now a fish out of water. In April, the station only registered a paltry 1.4, one of its worst ratings ever. A lot of the blame is falling on station owner Entercom, who bought KROQ and other stations from CBS. Bear in mind that this is the same Entercom that killed another legendary rock station, WAAF in Boston recently by selling it to religious outlet K-Love. The station recently fired longtime programmer Kevin Weatherly and its popular morning show, Kevin in the Morning with Allie & Jensen.

The station's new programmer is Mike Kaplan, who used to program rival alt-rocker Alt 98.7. According to the article, he's known as "Mike the Show Killer". The article also states that KROQ used to be notoriously slow at adding new music and was heavy on classics. The writers even panned KROQ for adding a pop record, "Circles" by Post Malone onto their playlist. Rumor also has it that Kaplan wants his jocks to call the station K-R-O-Q instead of "K-Rock" because "rock is dead".

A current peek into KROQ's playlist shows a mix of currents ("Moral of the Story" by Ashe, "Loneliness For Love" by lovelytheband and another Posty record, his cover of Nirvana's "Come As You Are") and classics (Weezer's "Beverly Hills", Paramore's "Misery Business" and EMF's 30-year-old "Unbelievable"). Machine Gun Kelly is also now a mainstay KROQ, just a few years after he scored a pop hit with "Bad Things" with Camila Cabello (a song, which BTW borrows from Fastball's late-90s alt hit "Out of My Head"). The station still plays heritage acts like Nirvana, Foo Fighters and Green Day (who has a current hit "Oh Yeah!"), but apparently, it's in smaller doses.

The tragic truth is that KROQ is trying to program to younger listeners who probably have never listened to regular radio before. Evenmore, people are beyond PISSED that the station canned Kevin Ryder, who along with Gene “Bean” Baxter did the morning shift on KROQ for 30 years.

Years ago, if people wanted something from radio, they would write letters to station management, start campaigns or in Shadoe Stevens' case, build their own damn station. Hell, I started this site because I was stuck in a spot in Michigan where none of the rock stations gave two shits about me. KLT and The Zone's definition of "new rock" in the 1990s were limited to has-beens like The Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox Twenty, Hootie and the Blowfish and many-a-Lilith Fairian. As a matter of fact, the sole station in northern Michigan that reached my demographic, 106.7 The Peak was loaded to the hilt with boy bands galore. And of course, The Peak faced the same fate as KROQ is going through now when then-owner Northern Broadcast decided to take the station AC as WSRT. Needless to say, Northern Broadcast ended up going out of business not long ago, selling all but two of their stations. The Peak - which NBI bought in 1996 for $3 million - was recently sold to their heated rival, 106 KHQ's owner for $215,000.

(By the way, I checked out KLOS' playlist. It reminds me of KLT without the two recurrents they played within the hour I was typing this: "Rolling 7s" by Dirty Honey (which is a shitty song) and "Die to Live" by Danish rockers Volbeat featuring Neil Fallon from the severely-underrated Clutch.)

If I was born in 2000 instead of 39 years ago this Tuesday, this blog might have never existed. Gen-Z-ers have it easy. Instead of having to switch through shitty stations and commercials, they have Spotify, Pandora and whatever cool app is out these days. If they want, they could shell out their allowance for a SiriusXM subscription and listen to Howard Stern. The days of dangerously installing an antenna atop the family house and starting a website to "Bring ____ To BFE" are long gone. Don't like your hometown radio scene? Going digital always has been the way to go. Name one person you personally know under 50 that doesn't have a smartphone. My father's 68 and computer illiterate. Yet, he has a smartphone and uses it religiously! Hell, he even gives me GIFs all the time! Yes, his phone's from Consumer Cellular. Don't start with the rotary dial jokes.

The reality is that radio is changing. Way back when, music was only heard on the AM and it was staticky as hell. I'm amazed that close to here in Grand Rapids, we have WION "I-1430" out of Ionia which plays music on AM and does quite well! Beautiful music, with its syrupy strings and soft melodies was a common format in towns big and small way back in the day. But now, there's only a few stations of their kind left in America. Why? Their audience died off. But the few remaining beautiful stations left apparently do well. There's even a beautiful music station on SiriusXM, Escape on channel 69. When SiriusXM killed the station a few years ago, listeners demanded its return. Not only that, one such station in Prescott, AZ, KAHM 102.1 charges $10 per month for their fans to stream the station online.

One of the lessons I've long learned is that if it's broke, don't fix it. But then again, this is the radio business we're talking about, an industry that fires good people and replaces them with jerks. Look at WKLQ here in Grand Rapids. Starting in 2002, they royally fucked over their listeners when they moved Howard Stern to a crappy AM station and started cleaning house of its popular jocks. Their general manager, Matt Hanlon claimed that it was time to change direction. Of course he did! The station went down to right around the same ratings KROQ is at now. And now, KLQ is long gone with dorky AAA music now playing at 94.5.

But here's another thought worth pondering: WHERE'S THE ROCK? Thanks to corporations like CBS/Entercom and iHeartMedia, it sucks royally that the active rock format is missing in many major cities like LA. There's many great songs in the genre right now, like KoRn's catchy "Can You Hear Me" and Falling in Reverse's semi-autobiographical "Popular Monster". It sucks that companies like CBS replaced all their hard rock stations with their shitty, ill-fated "Free FM" format that they created when Stern left for Sirius. Not only that, I CRINGE knowing that many rockers are putting in more classics like WGRD here in Grand Rapids because Townsquare is clueless on how to properly run a radio station.

Look, radio is a business. Poor ownership and management has killed too many great stations over the years. It's also why there's many silent stations in northern Michigan and others that may or may not survive the COVID-19 pandemic. I hate KLT with a severe passion, but I'm happy there's Rock 105/95-5. which I think is the best-programmed rock station not just in northern Michigan, but maybe the whole state.

I've seen enough episodes of Bar Rescue and Kitchen Nightmares to know how moronic bosses can be. Same with my ex-boss, who treated me and others like scum. Respect isn't just earned in rock radio, but also in real life.

Don't forget: if you own or manage a business and think that you no longer have a boss, think again. When I enter your shop and buy something, I become your boss. And yes, I can fire you by never going in there again or in this case, not listening to your station.

And in the case of many KROQ fans, they've fired that station.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2020

5.19.20 Bee-otches of the Day: anti-stay-at-home protesters

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: Grand Rapids and elsewhere
Bee-otched For: opening up the north? Not good enough

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You just can't fool Mother Nature.

Last Thursday, another moronic protest occurred at the Michigan State Capitol to open up the state. Thankfully, it rained all day in Lansing and only 100 douchebags showed up. It didn't them much that the Capitol was closed, so they couldn't go in with their guns, Confederate flags and pure idiocy.

Sadly, those nudniks were active yesterday here in Grand Rapids at Rosa Parks Circle downtown. Yes, nothing like watching Confederate flags being waved at a place named for a Civil Rights icon who broke this nation's segregation barriers.

But not long before these pricks started to scream about the lady taking der jerbs, Governor Gretchen Whitmer revealed a huge part of her plan to reopen the state. On Friday, restaurants and retail jobs in the entire Upper Peninsula and northern Michigan will be allowed to reopen at 50% capacity. Customers must be six feet apart and employees must wear face masks.

But for those goobers, it's not enough.

Under Whitmer's Michigan Economic Recovery Council, a restaurant can reopen in Manistee, but not Ludington in the next county south. A nonessential business can serve customers in Roscommon, but not West Branch, which is in the next county east.

So, what do those pricks want? They want ALL of Michigan to reopen! They think that it's unconstitutional that one type of business can stay open in one part of the state while that same business has to stay shuttered. Gee, maybe it's because they're in an area where there's a lot of COVID-19 cases!

As many of you longtime readers know, I grew up in Antrim County, pop. 23,000. On the way to school, my bus passed a TON of houses on my rural route. Many of those houses were the Summer homes for the snowbirds who lived in Florida for the Winter. As a matter of fact, three of the kids who were picked up lived in a house owned by their wealthy grandparents in Chicago. Their parents didn't even work, though their blind father was a gifted pianist and piano tuner. As-is, Antrim County has very few jobs and PLENTY of social distancing. Tourism is important to the region. However, Munson Medical Center in Traverse City is the only really good hospital in the area. True, there's smaller hospitals in towns like Petoskey, Cadillac and Kalkaska. However, if you get COVID-19 and you need a trip to the ER, good luck. These smaller hospitals are only good for slapping on a Band-Aid and not much else. Today in Traverse City, part of a bank building under construction collapsed and several people got hurt. If Munson was loaded with COVID-19 patients, they'd be screwed.

I'm happy that COVID-19 cases are coming down here in Michigan. However, there's still a ways to go. I suspect that by mid-June, the disease will be mostly gone. That's only if people stay at home, wash their hands and wear a mask. Plus, the virus won't last long in hot heat, which is why very few people in China are now getting infected. Summer's around the corner and I hope that once it's gone, it stays gone. And if it comes back, I hope there's a cure.

Now if a certain somebody in the White House has a hydroxychloroquine overdose, I think at least some of our COVID-19 problems would be solved.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, May 18, 2020

5.18.20 Hero of the Day: my cousin Richard

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: my cousin Richard
Age: was 80
Occupation: theater producer, graphic designer and teacher
Last Seen: Oregon
Awarded For: being a good role model for many

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I know that occasionally, I tend to be personal. And today is one of those days.

Saturday afternoon, I was about to take a nap. However, my phone let me know that I had a text. It was my father, letting me know that a second cousin of mine died that morning.

His name was Richard. He lived in Oregon with his dog. His son let the world know on Facebook of his father's passing. Just before he died, two of my aunts talked to him and he seemed to be in good spirits.

Richard's father was my Grandmother's older brother John. He served in the Air Force during World War II. After his service, he met his wife, Sherry and had a few children. He was a professional photographer and owned a studio in the Detroit area. He was proud of his job and his family.

But sadly, Richard was never a part of his life.

Before he entered the service, Uncle John was a college kid in the late 1930s. He had a girlfriend and in 1939, he knocked her up. Richard was born in 1940 and John wasn't in his life. He was simply too young and too naive to care that he had a son who needed him. After he served his country, John simply turned the page and started his life anew. Whether or not he ever paid Richard's child support is something I personally didn't know.

Richard's mother did marry two men and they became his father figures. Richard had a pretty decent, yet extremely talented life. He taught himself to paint. He worked in advertising in the 1960s and like his biological father, he also worked in photography. However, his true passion was in theater. He worked as a producer and director in Manhattan for over 25 years. He also worked as a teacher; he taught play writing from the point of view of a director at several colleges in New York state. In his final years of employment, he became a graphic designer and helped to develop websites. After retirement, he moved to Oregon where he spent his free time painting and drawing. He'd often share his latest paintings on Facebook for all to see.

Richard spent the first sixty years of his life not being remotely close to his father's side of the family. The only real connection he had was the fact that he kept his father's last name. However in 2000, one of my aunts discovered him online. At the time, he was living in his childhood hometown of Flint, taking care of his now-elderly mother. She, like Richard is a talented artist and used that to connect to him. We were proud to now have our lost cousin in our lives and we all made sure that all loved and supported him. Sadly, when Richard's mother finally passed away, he moved to Oregon to be closer to his children.

Recently, Richard fell and broke his wrist and hip. He and the aunt who discovered him were texting each other on Friday while he was resting in rehab. He was in very good spirits and even made a selfie for her. However, he died peacefully in his sleep that evening from a heart attack. He was 80 years old. He is survived by his two surviving sons and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He did have another son that died a few years ago.

Even though Richard lived a good, long life, it sucked that we only knew him for his last twenty years. And the fact that he died the same month both my paternal grandparents died and my parents divorced makes it only harder. Richard blessed us with his talent and friendship. And sadly, my heart breaks for him.

Last, but not least, one of the lessons we can all learn from people like Richard is the importance of being a father. Richard was blessed with several different dads, even though his real father was absent from his life. He grew up to be a wise, talented human being. A part of me feels that Uncle John was a scumbag for abandoning him as a kid, but thankfully, everybody won in the end.

Folks, look at people like President Obama, Lebron James and Eminem. All these people grew up without their biological fathers and look at them now. Even Art Alexakis wrote a song about his absent father called "Father of Mine" and it was a hit song for his band, Everclear 25 years ago. The lesson is that any male can be a sperm donor, but it takes a real man to be a dad.

I know. Richard's parents fooled around and made a mistake. Richard paid the price for being without his biological father by his side. And the story is that too many kids grow up fatherless and sadly, end up worse off than Richard. My advice to this kids is to find your talent and find your niche in life. Richard did, and he did well with it.

Richard will truly be missed by not only his family, but the family that only got to know him 20 years ago. I know that he was loved by so many people and losing him is another link to our family that can never be repaired.

Thanks, Richard. Smoke one for me.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, May 14, 2020

5.14.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Studio C!

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: The Loeks Family/Celebration Cinema/Studio C!
Age: 76
Occupation: theater chain
Last Seen: Grand Rapids
Bee-otched For: proving that subrun is no fun

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I love when I'm right and the people who put me on blast are dead wrong.

Years ago, I blasted Jerry Lewis and someone on my MySpace account dumped me. Sucks to be them, especially since he screwed over his children from previous marriages when he died. He didn't leave them on his will. On screen, he was funny and zany. Not to mention a hero to children with Muscular Dystrophy. But in real life, he was a pathetic human being.

And ironically, Lewis lent his name to a franchise of tiny, sardine can-style cinemas back in the 1970s that specialized in second-run family fare.

Well, it's the same thing with John Loeks, the president the Grand Rapids movie chain known as Studio C!, formerly Loeks Theatres. Several years ago, I handed him the BOTD and one of his employees sent me a nasty letter. Basically put, he thought I was mean because John does so much for the people of Grand Rapids. True. But, he also has taught us a lesson that monopolies don't always work.

You see, when I moved to GR 18 years ago, the closest theater to me was the Showcase Cinema in Cascade. I went there once to see "Barbershop" on a Saturday night. Well, it was the #1 movie that weekend and the place was anything but packed. The simple truth was that they charged the same prices as other cinemas in town. But, they lacked the modern-day amenities like stadium seating. Not long after my sole visit, Showcase was demolished for what is now Costco. Showcase's demise left Grand Rapids with three chains: Star (now AMC), Celebration/Studio C!/Loeks and Cinemark, which had a location at Rivertown Crossings. Just before I moved to the area, Woodland Mall had a second-run cinema, The Movies at Woodland Mall. However, it closed and United Artists - which had several theaters in the Grand Rapids area - abandoned the city.

Not having a movie theater in my area kinda sucked. Driving up the dreaded Beltline just to watch a movie at Celebration North wasn't the greatest thing in the world, either. I occasionally had free passes for Star Theatres (thanks to my uncle, who worked at one), so not all things were bad. But then in 2005, the floodgates were lifted. Woodland was getting a Cinemark.

The new, 14-screen Cinemark opened in 2005. My first movie there was "Walk The Line", starring Joaquin Phoenix as the Man in Black himself, Johnny Cash. Overall, it was my go-to theater for new movies.

However in 2007, Loeks bought out Cinemark's Grand Rapids theaters, making Front Row Joe a distant memory. I wasn't expecting a whole lot of changes. But when I found out that Woodland wasn't going to show "The Simpsons Movie", I was disappointed. It turned out that Loeks was going to convert it to a subrun cinema.

Back in the days before Netflix, movies were first played in a first-run cinema. Then, it would go to second-run, or subrun theaters. Usually, a subrun cinema is older and in some cases, in the ghetto. However, the Woodland 14 was only a few years old and in front of a very nice, upscale shopping mall. Celebration Woodland lowered their admission to $4 and started showing movies that were no longer showing at their other theaters.

Granted, there was now Celebration South, which is an easier drive for me. But seriously, it sucked since Woodland's in my neighborhood. I do give Celebration some credit, though. Woodland showed both recent movies and indie films that never played at their other cinemas during their first run. It was where I saw "Christine" (no, not the Stephen King movie about the car), a movie about troubled Florida TV personality Christine Chubbuck, who shot herself to death on live television in 1974. I also saw "The Beatles: Eight Days a Week – The Touring Years" about the time the Fab Four was constantly on the road.

This week, the Loekses announced that after 13 years of ownership, they have decided not to renew their lease on Celebration Woodland. They admitted that the cinema never turned a profit. WELL, DUH! As much as I loved watching a little-known film here and there, I was in the auditorium with maybe five other people tops on a Saturday afternoon.

So, why did Woodland go subrun? Simple: Celebration didn't want to compete with themselves. When they bought the Rivertown Crossings 20 from Cinemark, they closed their legendary Studio 28 a year later in 2008. A few years later, the 20-screen cinema was demolished. Studio 28 was one of my early 'go-to' cinemas. However, since it was remodeled multiple, multiple times over the years, it was like walking through a labyrinth. If my movie was playing in their "Sci-Fi Zone" cluster, I had to ask for directions.

In Woodland's case, they're only 10 miles from Celebration North. Simply put, they wanted to control the local market in Grand Rapids by running a near-monopoly. But, at the end of the day, it has now left the Woodland 14 lonely and abandoned, pandemic or not. Now with so many movies going online shortly after their release, a subrun cinema simply can't make money, plain and simple.

So, what's next for the Woodland 14? I do have a prediction. Earlier this week, we dishonored Bob Goodrich, whose theater chain just announced that they're closing their theater in Cadillac for good. Just shortly after I hit the send button, it was announced that a local live theater troupe called the Footliters were in talks of buying the 102-year-old theater. On his bankruptcy documents, Goodrich stated that he was planning to sell his chain to Emagine, a luxury theater chain based out of the Detroit area. Honestly, Woodland 14 would be perfect for that chain with proper renovations. If it reopened as an Emagine post-COVID, I would definitely give it a go. I would not rule out AMC, either, though they're in talks about selling out to Amazon.

You see, I love the Loeks because they're local and still family-owned. Not to mention the fact that they're one of the few theater chains that will take a chance on NC-17 movies. However, they're typical Grand Rapids elitists. Hell, they're even buds with "Huge" Bill Simonson. I want to PUKE when I see his commercials run in one of their cinemas.

The reality is, is that movies are a business. And if a movie theater can't be run right, it's gonna have to close. The Loeks have proved that a 14-screen dollar house simply can't survive when you can see that same movie online for free. I've also heard that since they bought it, Celebration Woodland has fallen into disrepair. I simply hope that PREIT - Woodland's owner - can find a suitable new owner and fast.

I just hope it doesn't become a megachurch.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, May 13, 2020

5.13.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 73
Occupation: Cheeto
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: having dopey followers

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At times, I scratch my head when I listen to Howard Stern.

In recent years, he's knocked it off with the strippers and has had more major stars on his show, especially those he lovingly attacked years ago. Hell, last week, he had Whoopi Goldberg on the show.

Even though some of his current material's a royal douchefest (Harry Styles? Really?), he still has a lot of fire in him. And a lot of that fire is directed at Drumpf and his minions.

On Tuesday's show, Stern talked about the fact that he and Drumpf used to be pals back in the day. Back when Drumpf had *some* testicular fortitude, he had Howard come over to Mar-a-Lago. Because of his experience knowing Drumpf, it has allowed him to examine the de facto president's attitude towards people, especially his most-argent of supporters.

According to Stern, the people Drumpf despises the most, love him the most. And Howard himself hates Drumpf's supporters. Yes, we seen them all over the place with their Confederate flags, their MAGA hats and their three teeth. Not to mention that Drumpf got a lot of love from the same assholes who tried to get him off the radio years ago, like the American "Family" Association.

Granted, I think Howard still has a soft spot for Drumpf since the two go way back. After all, he told his audience that he's no "libtard". True, I've always viewed Howard as a moderate in many cases (he's had Ted Nugent, G. Gordon Liddy, Al D'Amato and other Repukes on his show in the past). But in recent years, he's jumped into the Democratic pool when it comes to the POTUS. Even in 2000 when Al Gore chose Joe Lieberman - an asshole who wanted him off the air - as his running mate, he endorsed him. Stern stated that Gore was the one running for president and not Lieberman. Under Dubya's watch, Stern got screwed as-is because of the Janet Jackson nip-slip. So much for the two-party system and the First Amendment.

All this week, every time I turn on the TV and watch one of my local channels, I'm starting to see new ads for Drumpf's 2020 run for president. In the commercials, they mock Joe Biden for being too nice to China, plus the fact that he's getting senile. And yet, this is a president whose clothes are all made in China. And don't get me started on the fact that he totally ignored the fact that the coronavirus was on its way to destroy America.

The reality is that BOTH Drumpf and Old Man Biden have their faults regarding COVID-19 and how they've treated China. I agree that all of us have played a role in China going from a country where almost nobody owned a car 30 years ago to being an out of control hellhole where people have to have their bat soup. And we're all paying the price, even though most people know that bats are not all that tasty. But, to each their own's palate.

And surprise! The goons are going to protest in front of the state capitol here in Michigan tomorrow to cry that they need their jerbs. Already as-is, there's a barber in Owosso who's making headlines for keeping his shop open during Governor Gretchen Whitmer's order. Earlier today, Whitmer proclaimed that mass gatherings only make things tougher to get Michigan's total number of those infected with COVID-19 down.

Right now, Michigan is 14th place in terms of COVID-19 cases. It was in the top five not too long ago. Whitmer's order is working.

When I think of Drumpf's supporters, I don't think of a lot of folks with high IQs unless they're huge donors like the Devoses. Instead, I think of morons who only care about the peanuts while the elephants walk by. Many years ago, I paid a visit to my now-ex-stepfather in northern Michigan, who owned a tool and die plant. He bitched that he hadn't turned a profit in five years, yet he loved Bush. REALLY?!?! Under Dubya, most Americans like myself struggled. People my age either lived with their parents or had to make severely tough choices while Bush was giving tax breaks to his buddies. When I see an asshole with their don't tread on me bullshit displayed, it's a sign of sheer stupidity and brainwashing by Drumpf and Co.

Look, Michigan is a very diverse state when it comes to people. Sadly, I'll betcha that the only people of color at tomorrow's rally are the reporters and guards. I'll even betcha that most of the people there are all racist. They probably live in northern Michigan where black people are a mere rarity. As a result, it's why they're there in the first place. My father's cousin is a tragic example. Some 40 years ago, he was shopping at a Farmer Jack in Detroit. When he got out with his groceries, a group of black kids were sitting on his truck. He politely asked them to leave and one of the kids told him to give him a Coke. He refused and one of the kids shot him. Well, he got out of the hospital, but he made a GIANT mistake: going back to that same Farmer Jack a few days later. Well, he saw those same kids and this time, he had a gun. And guess what? The cops saw him this time. Well, he was charged with attempted murder and sent to prison. After he got out, he moved to a small town in mid Michigan. I saw him a few years ago at my aunt's wake and he was bitching about blacks left and right. He cried that we should ALL be allowed to use the n-word. Why? Because "it's only a word".

Over 50 years after the Civil Rights Act was passed and we're still a fucked-up nation. And sadly, a lot of young people - especially in small towns like those in northern Michigan - only hear negativity about African Americans. I'll betcha that many up north are bitching that the only people getting COVID-19 are the blacks in Detroit, so why do they need to be in quarantine? Simple: COVID-19 CAN AND WILL KILL YOU AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. LISTEN TO SCIENTISTS, AND NOT SOME RIGHT-WINGED CONVICTED FELON ON AM TALK RADIO. TAKE OFF YOUR TINFOIL HAT AND GROW A BRAIN!

And while you're at it, maybe grow some teeth, too.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

5.12.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Bob Goodrich

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Bob Goodrich
Age: 79
Occupation: shady businessman
Last Seen: Grand Rapids
Bee-otched For: not being the Cadillac of movie theater owners

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Last night, my cousins and I had a nostalgic conversation on Facebook about the movie theaters we grew up with.

My cousins are from the Detroit area and reminisced about The Movies at Oakland. And yes, it was a United Artists theater. Like many old school multiplexes, it only had five screens and served its purpose throughout the 1980s and 90s until bigger and better cinemas started popping up in the area like the Star (now AMC) John R. When Star Theaters was launched in the Detroit area and started popping up in many spots, they switched over to them. Now that they're an AMC property, my cousin told me that their charm is long gone.

My Detroit area cousins had it easy in the cinema world. Growing up in northern Michigan, my choices were pretty much limited to the monopoly that was in Traverse City by the long-defunct GKC Theatres. When I was little, GKC's output in the Grand Traverse region were three twin-screeners: the State downtown, the Plaza in the Meijer parking lot and the Grand Traverse in Acme, right across from Grand Traverse Resort. However, GKC built the eight-screen Grand Traverse Cinemas (the Acme location was renamed the Traverse Bay) at Grand Traverse Mall and the Plaza was demolished for a larger parking lot at Meijer in 1992. GKC then built the 10-screen Horizon just down the street from Grand Traverse Mall a few years later at the troubled - and now demolished - Horizon Outlet Center. When the Horizon opened, the Traverse Bay and State both shuttered.

Now, the Grand Traverse Mall Cinemas - which added a ninth screen a few years later - was nice, especially for a theater built in 1992. But, the Horizon felt like a sardine can with its tiny auditoriums. Not only that, it was built right around the same time my cousins were treated into the world of stadium seating. The Horizon's floors barely sloped and if you're a 5'6" guy like me, a trip to the chiropractor was probably necessary from trying to adjust my body to see the screen properly. The extremely uncomfortable seats didn't help, either.

Since then, GKC has gone out of business. Allegedly, it was because the chain - save for the Horizon - banned Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" in 2004 because of its attacks against then-president George W. Bush. The movie made over $200 million, which led to problems within the family that owned GKC, the heirs of founder George Kerasotes. A year later, GKC was sold to Carmike Cinemas. In 2016, Carmike opened the Cherry Blossom 14 right across the parking lot from the Horizon. It was Traverse City's first movie theater with stadium seating, plus an IMAX auditorium. Sadly, the theater came 20 years too late, at least for me. The Grand Traverse Mall Cinema closed and became a Dunham's Sporting Goods Store. The Horizon also closed and was transformed into a Lucky's Market, which was kinda like a Trader Joe's. Lucky's went bankrupt and is now a locally-owned Oryana Co-Op. In 2017, Carmike was sold to AMC.

Yes, movie theaters bring as much joy as the movies themselves to so many people. There's nothing like a cinema with comfy seats and good sight lines to the screen. A kickass Dolby Surround Sound system is also mandatory.

And good owners are also a plus.

Of course, the Cherry Blossom is probably going to reopen once the COVID-19 brouhaha ends. There were rumors that AMC was going to be bankrupt because of the shutdowns. However, there are rumors that AMC is now in talks of being acquired by Amazon.

But 50 miles away in Cadillac, the lights are probably going to be dark at their cinema for a long time.

Last week, it was announced that the city's lone theater, the Cadillac 4 was closing for good. Earlier this year, their owner, Goodrich Quality Theaters filed for bankruptcy, citing financial problems that stemmed from remodeling their cinemas a few years ago. Owner Bob Goodrich claimed that the lack of major blockbusters hurt his sales, making it harder to pay off his creditors. Goodrich was hoping that he could have gotten through his bankruptcy, but then came that little bug that came from a bat sold at a Chinese wet market.

With all movie theaters in Michigan shuttered due to Governor Gretchen Whitmer's Executive Order, it has definitely put a damper on Goodrich's hopes of paying off his debtors and moving on. In March, it was reported that Gooodrich was planning to sell his chain to Detroit-based Emagine Entertainment. However, the plans might be off now thanks to COVID. Not only that, Emagine's cinemas have luxury-style auditoriums, something that's not seen in Cadillac.

The Cadillac 4 opened in 1918 as the Lyric Theatre, owned by the Fitzpatrick-McElroy Company, who also owned the Lyric in Traverse City (now the State). In the 1920s, F-M was sold to Butterfield. Butterfield also owned the Center Theatre, which was in business from the 1930s until 1955.

However, Goodrich bought the Lyric in 1978, twinned the auditorium and renamed it the Cadillac 1&2. Many years later, he bought the building next door and carved it into three more screens. In 2018, the cinema turned 100 years old. Then, the original auditorium was untwinned and was given a giant, 42-foot screen.

Despite the makeover, it wasn't worth saving the Cadillac 4, nor Goodrich's tarnished reputation. Before the bankruptcy, he fired all of his employees under 18. It wasn't because of poor performance, it was because, well, Goodrich is a prick. He also pissed off long-time listeners of his left-leaning talk radio station here in Grand Rapids, WPRR "Public Reality Radio" by firing station programmer and host Darren Gibson and several other personal a few years ago. Now under the unfortunate yoke of Tyrone Bynum, the station has been a total embarrassment for Goodrich. In the latest Nielsen ratings book, WPRR wasn't even ranked, meaning that it got its ass kicked by obscure religious stations, plus fringe stations from Muskegon. Of course, Goodrich fired Gibson for not endorsing Hillary Clinton in the 2016 presidential election, especially after what the Democratic National Committee did to Bernie Sanders.

The painful reality is that Goodrich kicked his own ass with his own overinflated ego. He fired his talkers who all had an opinion and exposed the DNC for who they were. Not only that, he had Tyrone on his leash, and according to Darren, he was the type that talked over people and gaslighted people constantly. Now, because of all this, WPRR is in the ratings doldrums, tied with another throwaway talker, iHeartMedia's WTKG 1230, Grand Rapids' home for Brian Kilmeade, Buck Sexton and the Dave Ramsey, who's also aired on sister WOOD 1300/106.9. Not only that, his right-hand bitch, Tyrone has a storied, yet poor reputation in west Michigan. After all, he ran WMFN 640 into the ground, especially when he refused to air Tiger games on Sunday in favor of religious programming.

Granted, the Cadillac 4 SHOULD have a license to print money. It's the only movie theater within a 50 mile radius. If Emagine buys them out, great. If not, I can see AMC, the convicted felons who own the cinemas in Bellaire, Petoskey, Gaylord, Cheboygan and Mackinaw City or even the Traverse City Film Festival to buy them out. I wouldn't single out somebody who wants to own his or her own cinema, either.

However and personally, I think the movie business will take a long time to heal, if at all. More and more people are staying home - even before the pandemic - instead of going through the drama of seeing a first-run movie. Yes, we're talking about the high prices of tickets and concessions, the parking, the long lines, the morons who take their screaming kids, the talkers, the.... ugh.... I can go on. Thanks to Netflix and services like this guy, why even bother going out to see a movie? Hell, some of the movies Powerstream has on their Plex account were in theaters when COVID-19 broke out!

The reality is that in the post-COVID world, businesses will have to adapt now that we're used to being home. And one of those businesses are movie theaters. Now that studios are planning to show their movies both digitally and in theaters, it may hurt not just giant chains like AMC - who already severed ties with Universal - but smaller, mom 'n pop movie houses as well.

If Goodrich sells out, good. He needs to not only sell his theaters, but WPRR, too. His reputation sucks beyond repair and the legal advice of Tyrone Bynum's not gonna help him. His theaters need new leadership and so does WPRR. I think WPRR can do well again, especially since the leftists of Grand Rapids need a real voice. Tyrone and a few "vote blue no matter who" hosts aren't the answer.

If I had a million dollars....

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, May 11, 2020

5.11.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Bill Maher

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Bill Maher
Age: 64
Occupation: comedian
Last Seen: Los Angeles
Bee-otched For: telling us to vote blue no matter who, even if they're a rapist

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Everybody knows that scripted TV shows are a fantasy land where everything's staged.

HBO is definitely no exception. On their shows, there's plenty of violence. That's staged. There's sex scenes on their original series. Once again, they're staged. Allegedly, Allison Williams was wearing Spanx during her infamous scene on Girls where a man motorboats her butthole. Even the actress who played the shamed woman (ding, ding) on Game of Thrones, Lena Headey wasn't even naked during that dreadful scene. Rebecca Van Cleave was her body double, simply because Headey didn't want a bunch of people staring at her naked as she walked down in shame for three days. The show's special effects crew merged Lena's head and Rebecca's body together.

But sadly, even the network's most-left-winged voice is just as fake as simulated oral-anal sex.

On Friday's Real Time, Bill Maher proclaimed to his audience that Joe Biden accuser Tara Reade needs to shut up. During his New Rules segment, Maher claimed that Reade's accusations about former vice president Joe Biden were designed to derail any hope that America can get Drumpf out of the White House.

In an interview with Megyn Kelly recently, Reade went into explicit detail on what for former veep did to her. She claimed that in the early 90s when she was an aide to the then-Delaware senator, he touched her uncomfortably, even sticking his fingers up her vagina. To make a long story short, she told Kelly that she'll take a lie detector test only if he takes one, too.

In the past, Maher has told people on his show that they needed to be ashamed for themselves for not voting for Hillary Clinton in 2016. True, she won the popular vote, but she lost in some very important states like here in Michigan, where she lost by 10,000 votes. Bear in mind that all this was also during the Flint water crisis and a lotta folks got mad at Obama when he came to town and fake-drank some of the city's polluted water. Watching him "sip" that water reminded me of watching an cunnilingus scene on HBO's sister channel, Cinemax during their late-night fake porno fare. Typically, somebody would put their hand on the pubic part of a woman's genitals and pretend to go down on her. Of course, it's all acting because, well, it's Cinemax, or as some jokingly called it, Skinemax.

Yes, Bill Maher is just like anybody whose IQ is over room temperature: they want Drumpf out of the White House. However, he's adding onto the bullshit mistakes the Democrats have made over the past 30 years. We're talking trade deals, asskissing of the health insurance companies and yes, their billionaire donors. They fucked over Bernie in 2016 and once again in 2020. The Dems are now running campaigns like old school commercials for insurance companies. When I was a young boy - long before the days of Flo and Limu Emu - insurance company commercials simply told us that if you didn't get their policy, your whole fucking family was going to die. Now, it's the Dems' turn. Vote blue no matter who, or else what will happen under Drumpf for the best four years will be much worse than what we're going through now with COVID-19.

The tragic truth is that there's a reason for Repukes winning elections and why we've only had two Democratic presidents in my lifetime. The reason why is due to the Dems abandoning their base. Most Americans are leftists and would love to have real healthcare, real education and real jobs. However, Joe Biden is like all the Dems who have lost in the past: too much in the middle and they're the types that claim they'll fix something until a billionaire sends them a sack of cash. Watch the movie "Sicko" some time if you weren't an adult like me when Clinton was president. Hillary Clinton accepted bribes from the healthcare industry, which was partially why in 2000, Bill's veep, Al Gore lost his presidential bid. Getting Joe Lieberman as his running mate didn't help, either. To me, somebody who's anti-First Amendment is not a real leftist, which was why I didn't vote in the 2000 election. The Dems should have learned their lesson then and there, but no.

You see, there's people with a (D) after their name who are pro-life. Remember Michigan representative Bart Stupak? He lost a lot of credibility when he wanted to eliminate birth control from Obamacare because he's Catholic. The legislators in Louisiana who made it beyond difficult to get an abortion were all Dems. Many Dems - like Joe Lieberman, who tried to get Howard Stern and Jerry Springer off the air - are anti-First Amendment. Even the mayor of the biggest city to me, Grand Rapids' Rosalynn Bliss is a Democrat. Yet, she helped the Devos family get nude dancing banned in the city.

In the case of Bill Maher, his problem is that he acts like a leftist. But, with a net worth of $140 million, he's not 99%-er, either. If he was like me, living on paycheck to paycheck and working a physical job, he'd be a Bernie bro. But, he's not. He would vote for him if he was the nominee obviously. But thankfully, it's not too late to vote for Bernie since he's still on the primary ballot. Let's remember that Bill drank Jenny McCarthy's Kool-Aid and is now an anti-vaxxer. Let's also not forget that he made the foolish mistake of calling himself the n-word on his show, which lead to him trying to salvage his career by devoting an entire episode of Real Time with him learning a lesson about white privilege. He also supports the death penalty.

I know, I say stupid shit, too. On a popular message board devoted to Michigan media, somebody posted about me giving the BOTD four years ago to Cumulus for firing a popular morning show host. However, somebody then posted that this particular gentleman had a long history of sexual harassing female employees. If that's the case, then it changes everything. After all, he did come out as sexist on the air. Since the #MeToo movement started, it has changed the way us men have acted in front of women, especially at work. As for this particular jock, thankfully, he's moved on to other things.

Bill Maher reminds me of Brian the dog on Family Guy. On one particular episode, he makes a tweet about not wanting to see the latest "Ride Along" movie because he's white and went to college. After multitudes of people called him out for being racist, he responds to his critics by saying that he was so far left that he was spinning in circles. Bill might be a leftist, but he's not far enough. After all, he lost his last show, Politically Incorrect because he agreed with his guest, conservative asshole and convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza that the terrorists on 9/11 weren't cowards at all. Granted, he now has the luxury of not having commercials, using unbleeped profanity and even using one of Hollywood's most-beloved studios for Real Time. But, he still makes moronic comments here and there.

Look, I do agree with Bill on many issues. I think it's time to legalize pot nationwide. I agree that organized religion is a joke. I agree that we need to tell the Chinese to shut down the wet market that caused the coronavirus pandemic. He also supports universal healthcare. However, Biden does not. Hell, when he came to Grand Rapids, he campaigned at a Cherry Health clinic. As some of you know, they're under fire for being told by CBS to spin the amount of cars in line for COVID testing. Personally, if this country wants to go in the right direction, it needs a real progressive like this country got in 1933 in FDR. It ain't gonna happen with Biden, I'll tell you what.

And Bill Maher telling us whom to vote for ain't gonna work on me.

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