5.18.20 Hero of the Day: my cousin Richard

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

 

-------

A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: my cousin Richard
Age: was 80
Occupation: theater producer, graphic designer and teacher
Last Seen: Oregon
Awarded For: being a good role model for many                                                                

----

I know that occasionally, I tend to be personal. And today is one of those days. 

Saturday afternoon, I was about to take a nap. However, my phone let me know that I had a text. It was my father, letting me know that a second cousin of mine died that morning. 

His name was Richard. He lived in Oregon with his dog. His son let the world know on Facebook of his father's passing. Just before he died, two of my aunts talked to him and he seemed to be in good spirits.

Richard's father was my Grandmother's older brother John. He served in the Air Force during World War II. After his service, he met his wife, Sherry and had a few children. He was a professional photographer and owned a studio in the Detroit area. He was proud of his job and his family.

But sadly, Richard was never a part of his life.

Before he entered the service, Uncle John was a college kid in the late 1930s. He had a girlfriend and in 1939, he knocked her up. Richard was born in 1940 and John wasn't in his life. He was simply too young and too naive to care that he had a son who needed him. After he served his country, John simply turned the page and started his life anew. Whether or not he ever paid Richard's child support is something I personally didn't know. 

Richard's mother did marry two men and they became his father figures. Richard had a pretty decent, yet extremely talented life. He taught himself to paint. He worked in advertising in the 1960s and like his biological father, he also worked in photography. However, his true passion was in theater. He worked as a producer and director in Manhattan for over 25 years. He also worked as a teacher; he taught play writing from the point of view of a director at several colleges in New York state. In his final years of employment, he became a graphic designer and helped to develop websites. After retirement, he moved to Oregon where he spent his free time painting and drawing. He'd often share his latest paintings on Facebook for all to see.

Richard spent the first sixty years of his life not being remotely close to his father's side of the family. The only real connection he had was the fact that he kept his father's last name. However in 2000, one of my aunts discovered him online. At the time, he was living in his childhood hometown of Flint, taking care of his now-elderly mother. She, like Richard is a talented artist and used that to connect to him. We were proud to now have our lost cousin in our lives and we all made sure that all loved and supported him. Sadly, when Richard's mother finally passed away, he moved to Oregon to be closer to his children. 

Recently, Richard fell and broke his wrist and hip. He and the aunt who discovered him were texting each other on Friday while he was resting in rehab. He was in very good spirits and even made a selfie for her. However, he died peacefully in his sleep that evening from a heart attack. He was 80 years old. He is survived by his two surviving sons and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He did have another son that died a few years ago.

Even though Richard lived a good, long life, it sucked that we only knew him for his last twenty years. And the fact that he died the same month both my paternal grandparents died and my parents divorced makes it only harder. Richard blessed us with his talent and friendship. And sadly, my heart breaks for him.

Last, but not least, one of the lessons we can all learn from people like Richard is the importance of being a father. Richard was blessed with several different dads, even though his real father was absent from his life. He grew up to be a wise, talented human being. A part of me feels that Uncle John was a scumbag for abandoning him as a kid, but thankfully, everybody won in the end. 

Folks, look at people like President Obama, Lebron James and Eminem. All these people grew up without their biological fathers and look at them now. Even Art Alexakis wrote a song about his absent father called "Father of Mine" and it was a hit song for his band, Everclear 25 years ago. The lesson is that any male can be a sperm donor, but it takes a real man to be a dad.

I know. Richard's parents fooled around and made a mistake. Richard paid the price for being without his biological father by his side. And the story is that too many kids grow up fatherless and sadly, end up worse off than Richard. My advice to this kids is to find your talent and find your niche in life. Richard did, and he did well with it.

Richard will truly be missed by not only his family, but the family that only got to know him 20 years ago. I know that he was loved by so many people and losing him is another link to our family that can never be repaired.

Thanks, Richard. Smoke one for me.

--

  ----

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!