4.12.11 Bee-otch of the Day: MTV

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Name: MTV
Age: 30
Occupation: music video channe - er, entertainment channel
Last Seen: New York
Bee-otched For: overpaying a bunch of guides and 

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MTV is doing a ton of fist-pumping these days, especially into their wallets.

It's official: the former music video channel will be paying each cast member of the wildly-successful show Jersey Shore at least $100,000 per episode of the show. There's 13 episodes per season, so in other words, Snooki will get $1.3 million per season just for smoosh-smooshing in front of a camera.

That's right! A bunch of talentless pricks will get paid millions just for sucking, fucking and fighting on camera while the average American is still trying to scrap together their paychecks just to pay the cable bill. Even worse, thanks to eight years of lies and mismanagement from Bush and two years of Obama trying to fix his mess with Republicans in the House, we have people with four-year college degrees flipping burgers.

Recently, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi - who isn't even Italian, but rather Chilean - made headlines when she charged $32,000 just for a speaking engagement. Also, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino reportedly made $5 million last year, mainly from club appearances.

All this by just having a camera shoved into your face.

You see, folks, I hardly get paid NUTTIN' for writing my blogs. However, I did gain a sponsor this year in www.ring-ninja.com who was nice enough to give me a cool flask with the encryption "Property of Chuck69.com". I do it because it's my life and hobby. It's the most-perfect excerise for my brain. Do people love my blogs? Absolutely! Do I have my haters? Of course I do! Hell, there was a loser who was even nice enough by making a fake MySpace profile of me! Sucks to be that guy since it only shows that he has no life. But, I move on and open doors I've never opened before.

Point is, my blogs are designed for anybody whose IQ is well over room temperature. However, Jersey Shore is a different animal. Thanks to the fact that my DVR is overloaded with my favorite shows, I don't have the time or lack of mental capability to watch Snooki looking for somebody to smoosh-smoosh. Sorry, but The McLaughlin Group is more-appealing to this almost-30-year-old.

But, the second I see Eleanor Clift fist-pump into the air, it's the end.  

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