Bee-otch of the Day: September 2019

Thursday, September 26, 2019

9.26.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Doanld Trump
Age: 72
Occupation: Cheeto
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: getting closer to impeachment

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Is it me, or have Republicans gotten worse since the days of Eisenhower?

Last week alone, several Rethugs visited my former stomping groundg of northern Michigan. Betsy Devos visited Northwestern Michigan College in Traverse City. So did Anthony Scaramucci. And even worse, Mike Pence simply blew his nose on the people of Mackinac Island by ordering a motorcade for himself. Now, for those who don't know much about Mackinac, all non-emergency motor vehicles have been banned form the island since the late 19th century. To me, Pence and his little parade of cars is like forcing a Muslim to eat bacon.

Well, thankfully and hopefully, the madness regarding all Repukes may be coming to an end sooner or later. On Tuesday, it was announced that because of his dealings with the Ukrainian president, the House was now looking into impeaching the sumbitch known as Drumpf.

Of course, Drumpf's got a trillion reasons why he should not be POTUS. Do we need to list them? I know, some of the (R)s are crying that presidents talking to the enemy is something that's been done forever. However, the fact that he might have taken info on Joe Biden from that president is an impeachable offense.

Look, this nightmare needs to end, the sooner the better. Every fucking Repuke president since Eisenhower has been the antichrist, plain and simple. It's time for universal healthcare, ending college debt and it's time to take charge regarding climate change. Let me say this: GRETA THUNBERG IS RIGHT. ANYBODY - ESPECIALLY REPUKES - WHO BASH HER ARE TOTAL ASSHOLES. A 16 YEAR OLD GIRL WITH AUTISM IS FAR MORE INTELLIGENT AND BRILLIANT THAN THE LIMP-DICKED SCUMBAG IN THE WHITE HOUSE. END OF STORY.

Time's up.

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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

9.25.19 Hero of the Day: Sid Haig

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Sid Haig
Age: was 80
Occupation: actor
Last Seen: in the Great Beyond
Awarded For: being a true friend to Hollywood

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As Gary Lewis once sang, "Everybody Loves a Clown".

For ages, clowns have entertained the masses, especially children. Of course, there's Bozo the Clown, who was created in the 1940s by Disney animator and original voice of Goofy, Pinto Colvig. Eventually, he ended up in the hands of Larry Harmon, who marketed individual versions of the famous clown to several hundred TV stations in the mid-20th century. Obviously, the most-famous version was from WGN out of Chicago. Here in Grand Rapids, WZZM-TV had the distinction of having the last local Bozo in the United States.

There was Koko the Clown, created by Max Fleischer in the 1910s. He was created to showcase his then-state-of-the-art invention called the rotoscope. That contraption allowed animators to create life-like cartoons by tracing over live images. Koko and his sidekick Bimbo would later co-star with Betty Boop in the 1930s. Ironically, the aforementioned Pinto Colvig worked for Fleischer in the late 30s.

But yes, not all clowns are filled with love and kindness. And yes, most clowns scare the shit out of children instead of entertaining them. Not all clowns give kids a toy for throwing a ping pong ball into a bucket. Yes, I'm referring to Binky the Clown from Garfield and Friends, Krusty the Klown from The Simpsons, the Killer Klowns from Outer Space and yes, Pennywise.

And then there's Captain Spaulding. No, not Groucho Marx's character from the 1930 film "Animal Crackers", but the sinister clown from Rob Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses" franchise. Sid Haig gave perfection to the mass murderer and patriarch to the Firefly family, played by Sheri Moon and Bill Moseley. It was the role that he was born for, decades after his career even began.

Born Sidney Mosesian in 1939, Sid's career skyrocketed because of a growth spurt he experienced as a teen. It affected his motor skills, so his parents put him in a dance school. In the end, he expanded into acting and even becoming a musician. As a matter of fact, he even had a hit on the pop charts in 1958 as a drummer with a band called the T-Birds called "Full House", which peaked at #4.

Sid - who got his stage name after his father, Haig Mosesian - first acted in a 1960 short film for Jack Hill, a man whom he had a deep association with in the 60s and 70s. He appeared in his blaxploitation films, such as "Coffy" and "Foxy Brown", both starring Pam Grier. His films included "Che!" and "The Don is Dead" both from director Richard Fleischer (Max's son, ironically), George Lucas' "THX 1138", the James Bond flick "Diamonds Are Forever" and many films for American International.

His TV credits included Batman, The Dukes of Hazzard and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, his biggest TV role. In second place was the late 70s Filmation-produced children's series Jason of Star Command, where he played the evil villain Dragos.

By the early 90s, Haig was tired of acting. Most of his roles were forgettable Arab villains, given his Armenian heritage. He ended up becoming a hypnotherapist, but thanks to some folks who grew up watching his films, they saw the potential he had that other producers didn't.

In 1997, he made a comeback as a judge in Quentin Tarantino's "Jackie Brown" starring Pam Grier. However, another comeback was in the wings all because of a Zombie named Rob.

In 2003, the rocker gave Haig his best-known role of Captain Spaulding. As a young boy, the former Robert Cummings and his younger brother Michael - aka Spider One from Powerman 5000 - loved him on Jason of Star Command. So, it made sense for him to reboot his career even further. Evenmore, Captain Spaulding was Haig's best-known role.

"House of 1000 Corpses" was trashed by critics, but did well with audiences, enough for a sequel, "The Devil's Rejects". 'Rejects' did much better with critics and both films would go on to become cult favorites. Haig was now in his 60s and finally had the film role that would define him.

Recently, it was announced that Zombie would be making the third part in the series, "3 From Hell". However, while filming, Haig fell ill and was only able to be in part of the film. Last month at home, Haig had a fall and was rushed to the hospital. He developed a lung infection and on Saturday, he passed away at the age of 80.

Many paid tribute to Haig, including his widow, who posted a picture of her holding his hand for the last time. Rob Zombie broke the news of his death on social media.

Sadly, Haig was severely underrated throughout his career and definitely needed more attention. I've heard that off camera, he was a super guy and well-liked. Yes, he was an asshole when he was a clown, but at least it was a role he'll forever be known for.

Sid, say hi to Lugosi and Karloff for us.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, September 23, 2019

9.23.19 Bee-otch of the Day: NBC

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.
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Name: the National Broadcasting Company
Age: 93
Occupation: media giant
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: not being funny

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A few days ago, NBC executives told a new regular of Saturday Night Live that he's not ready for prime time.

Or 11:30, for that matter.

The network gave the boot to Shane Gillis, a young comedian who was going to join two other new cast members for the new season, which begins this Saturday. This after an old podcast of his surfaced where he used ethnic and homophobic slurs.

Gillis tweeted his thanks to SNL for considering him, though he called himself a MadTV guy anyway.

True, it's tough to defend somebody who tells Asians to stay in Chinatown. Yes, I think he was a prick for attacking people who don't deserve to be attacked because of their culture. However, he got canned from a show that had a coked-up Armenian man dressed up like a sword-swinging samurai 40 years ago. Let's not forget this and this, too. Let's also not forget the times they had whites portray blacks, like Adam Sandler's Bill Cosby and Darrell Hammond's Jesse Jackson.

Earlier today at work, I was looking at Facebook and saw sponsored ads from Boomerang, the cable network from AT&T that shows everything from Looney Tunes, Tom and Jerry, Popeye, Hanna-Barbera and more. They proclaim that they have over 4500 episodes on their app. I'll betcha that they won't show the tail end of this, this or this. Of course, Popeye had his problems with racism especially during WWII and yes, let's not forget who Tom and Jerry's owner was: a fat black woman named Mammy Two-Shoes.

This weekend, I was with my cousin in Detroit. Together, we watched Dave Chappelle's new Netflix special, "Sticks and Stones". Needless to say, Dave was on fire that whole hour. He talked about how when he was doing Chappelle's Show, the censor told him that he could not do a sketch that involved the gay slur "faggot" because he's not gay. Dave's response? "Well, I'm not a nigger, either!"

Whites uttering the n-word is nothing new. Bill Maher called himself a "house nigger" on his Real Time show and ended up apologizing. Hulk Hogan used that word repeatedly in an audio recording and was fired from the WWE. But even his boss, Vince McMahon was caught using that word in a sketch and, well, Hulk was forgiven and rehired.

Look, I can go on and on about all this. But think of this: on the fourth hour of The Today Show, guess who just happens to be the co-host? Jenna Bush Hager! You know, a woman who was busted for underage drinking years ago? A woman whose asshole father's stupidity killed 3,000 people on 9/11, 4,000 more in all the fake wars he started and damn near collapsed this country? Sorry, but if I have a weekday off, I ain't watching that shit. If it's 10 a.m. I'll watch Let's Make a Deal.

There's a reason why Jenna hosts Today's fourth hour. NBC is trying to siphon some of Fox Propaganda Channel's ratings. However, it's backfiring. Remember Megyn Kelly's comments about blackface and how it got her canned? Same with Shane Gillis: for years, SNL had been pissing off conservatives because of Alec Baldwin's Drumpf. So, they got another white dude for the show's cast. With Baldwin's announcement that he's quitting Drumpf and now, Gillis' firing, it would make one wonder if SNL will be worth watching this year.

Thankfully, comedians still have a target, and it's a demographic that's quickly becoming a minority: those who are white, Republican and/or Christian. Those who wear their red MAGA hats and holding signs that read "Get a Brain, Morans!" are now easy targets. And sadly, these pricks get angry when the so-called 'librul media' picks at them.

Look, we're not perfect. I've said stupid shit and so have you, the reader. Man is five, the devil is six and God is seven. Sometimes, I say the wrong shit out of anger. I'm only human and so is Shane Gillis. As somebody who grew up in lily-white northern Michigan, I've had my experiences with people of other nationalities and creeds. Yes, I can joke about them and get myself in further horseshit, but the truth is, there's only good and bad in our society. Just because a black man jerked off in front of me years ago doesn't mean that all blacks and all gays are like that. Just because the asshole who broke up my family and dragged my mother into bankruptcy is a Polack doesn't mean that all people of Polish descent are assholes, too. Hell, the valedictorian at my high school just happened to Polish. And also, just because there's people who call themselves Christian and treat people like shit doesn't mean that all Christians are like that. There's a myriad of Christians who swear, watch porn, smoke pot and so on who just happen to be better Christians who cheat on their spouses, rape children and fuck poor people out of their money. And yet, people still give them their hard-earned money because, well, God forgives.

My point is, is that I think Shane Gillis will be back on his feet if the entertainment business will let him. True, times have changed, but everything all depends on who will spend money to watch him do stand up or whatever TV show or movie will hire him. If the pedophile who once performed Elmo on Sesame Street can get work, so can Gillis.

Let's remember something: Bill Cosby never wanted to offend anybody and look where he is now.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

9.18.19 Bee-otch of the Day: the oil industry

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: the oil industry
Age: ageless
Occupation: sucking oil out of the ground
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: making it so we can't have nice things

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Sometimes, I wonder why I listen to Spotify for free when I'm paying for SiriusXM.

Maybe it's because sometimes, I like variety. I love the fact that on Spotify, you can create personalized stations that play your favorite songs and your favorite songs only. Maybe it's because sometimes, SiriusXM goes overboard playing the same shit over and over. After all, there's a Facebook group devoted to listeners of 1st Wave and people often complain about them overplaying Concrete Blonde's "Joey".

But sadly, sometimes, you get what you pay for.

Driving home yesterday, I had Spotify on and they cut to commercials. The first ad ROYALLY pissed me off. It was an ad promoting the construction of a new Line 5. Now, for those out of touch with Michigan, Line 5 is a pipeline used to transport oil to Canada that's underneath the Straits of Mackinac. The current Line 5 was only designed to last 30 years, and now, it's over 60 years old and falling apart. Its owner, Enbridge was also notorious for an oil spill in in the Kalamazoo River many years ago.

With the news of the attack on Saudi oil supplies last weekend, causing oil prices to skyrocket, this question is long overdue: WHEN IN THE FUCKING HELL ARE WE GOING TO START BUYING VEHICLES THAT DON'T USE OIL OR GAS?

I know. Vehicles are more fuel efficient than ever. There's SUVs that get better gas mileage than the car I have now. But the point is, is that we can get the same quality electricity from wind and the sun, which can power electric cars. It sucks that we have to fighting fucking wars over oil and those who have gas-powered vehicles have to pay the price when shit like this happens.

To make matters worse, we have an asshole president who just told California that they cannot set their own emissions standards. Great. Prepare for even more smog! When my mom lived in Arizona, she had to take her car in yearly for emissions testing. Here in Michigan, it's not required.

The point is, is that it's time for us to go into the 21st century. It's time we had a president who cared about our environment so we and our children's children can live nice, long lives without worrying. Climate Change IS REAL and we need to eliminate it once and for all.

I guess until then, it's just like watching an old Looney Tunes cartoon: is this trip really necessary?

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

9.17.19 Bee-otches of the Day: the tobacco industry

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: the tobacco industry
Age: ageless
Occupation: shoving smoke into our bodies, eyes and other body parts
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: driving talented people to their death

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Death comes in threes, as they all say.

Last week alone, the world of rock music lost three legends. First, it was Daniel Johnston, the Austin-based singer and songwriter whose homemade recordings influenced others like Beck, Death Cab For Cutie and even Kurt Cobain. His famous murals, including an alien-like creature saying "Hello, how are you?" are seen all throughout Austin. He struggled with mental issues throughout his life, in which some critics claimed helped his songwriting. He was found dead at his home at the age of 58 last week due to natural causes.

Then, there was Eddie Money, the 1970s and 80s hitmaker best-known for tunes like "Baby Hold On", "Two Tickets to Paradise", "Walk on Water" and "Take Me Home Tonight". Although a New York native, he meant a lot to Michigan's blue collar residents, especially since DTE Energy Music Theatre would often schedule him as the first concert of the year. Born Edward Joseph Mahoney to a large Catholic family, Money lost his battle with esophageal cancer on Friday. He was 70.

And last, but not least, there was Ric Ocasek. In 1976, the Ohio native formed the legendary power pop group The Cars in Boston with Benjamin Orr, Elliot Easton, Greg Hawkes and David Robinson. Just two years later, their self-titled debut album was recorded and sold over six million copies. In their original 12 years together, The Cars sold over 20 million copies of their albums and scored huge hits with "Tonight She Comes", "You Might Think" (seen above), "Shake It Up" and their biggest hit, the ballad "Drive", which peaked at #3 in 1984. Both Ocasek and Orr shared vocal duties (Orr sang lead on "Drive"). However, after the disappointment of their 1987 album "Door To Door", they broke up. They would reunite a few times since, especially last year when they were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Orr, however died in 2000 from pancreatic cancer at age 53.

Sadly, on Sunday morning, Ric died at his home in New York City. He was 75. His body was discovered by his estranged wife, Paulina Porizkova. He left behind six sons, two from each of his three marriages.

What might be even more sad is that Daniel Johnston, Eddie Money and Ric Ocasek all had one thing in common: all three smoked. In Ocasek's case, he battled heart disease, which can be caused by smoking. He died the morning after heart surgery.

We've all seen the commercials since they're everywhere: the one with the woman who lost her jaw and teeth due to smoking. The one with the woman on a treadmill who has a cancer hole in her neck and has to speak using an electronic voice box. The one with Leonard Nimoy's widow talking about her husband's struggles with COPD, caused by years of smoking. The list goes on. All those folks smoked, too and paid the price.

I'm blessed that I never smoked. Then again, both my parents have smoked since they were in their early teens. My Dad is 67 and has smoked Marlboros since he was 11. Being the oldest of seven children, we all thought that he would be the first to go because of his habit. We were wrong since my aunt and his middle sister died last year at 60 from brain cancer. However, she never smoked. My Mom is 63 and is also a life-long smoker. But thankfully, she's moved to vaping. Granted, it's still not healthy for you, but at least for smokers, it allows for people around them to smell scented vapor as opposed to disgusting second hand smoke.

Recently, Michigan's governor Gretchen Whitmer announced that flavored e-cigs would be banned here. Not long afterward, Drumpf announced that he would ban them, too. Needless to say, I'm very mixed about the whole ordeal. Since I drive my Mom around town a lot on her days off, she does vape in my car. I did tell her that if she goes back to regular cigarettes, she will not smoke them in my car.

IMHO, I see good and bad in vaping. Yes, I'd rather smell synthetic fruity stuff vs. second hand smoke, but sadly, vaping is still dangerous. And yes, it's sad when teens think it's cool to vape to the point where they're collapsing in school toilet stalls, causing the principal to yank off the doors. Thanks to vaping, if you have the need to poop, people will now be watching you.

Look, I've had the misfortune of having people in my car and home smoking. Christ, my parents would smoke around me in the car with the goddamned windows rolled up! "You'll be OK, son," they would say, even though one of the people featured from one of the "A Tip From A Former Smoker" commercials died from years of breathing in secondhand smoke. What might be worse is the fact that instead of spending money on me, my parents blew a lot of their paychecks on cigarettes. I never wore cool clothes; instead, I was a walking advertisement for Kmart. Often, I was bullied because instead of Nikes or the Reebok Pump, I got some piece of shit no-name shoes that fell apart only a few months later.

The reality is that smoking turns human beings into people that don't have their priorities straight. They don't care about their health and especially for those who smoke real cigs, they could care less about their surroundings. If I get lung cancer, I'll be happy to blame it on all the assholes who have blown smoke in my face for years.

Sadly, the tobacco companies are still raking in billions despite also funding anti-smoking campaigns. People still think it's cool, especially since we're all going to die anyway. Think of it this way: my paternal grandfather smoked until around 1980 or so and still died of lung cancer 21 years later at age 75. My maternal grandfather was 82 when he died and wasn't a smoker. To add fuel to the fire, he was diabetic and drank like a fish. Both my parents smoke and have high blood pressure. Although I weigh more than my parents, my blood pressure is quite normal.

Yes, when you smoke, you'll be cool like a rock star or actor on the outside, but your innards will be telling you to go fuck yourself.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, September 16, 2019

9.16.19 Hero of the Day: Black Diamond Broadcasting

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Black Diamond Broadcasting
Age: 12
Occupation: radio giant
Last Seen: Rochester Hills, MI
Awarded For: making mornings better

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Frank Sinatra. Cher. Elvis. Smitty.

For decades, the entertainment world has seen its share of comebacks. And now in northern Michigan, it's Nathan Smith's turn.

The long-time afternoon host at Rock 105 (Straits area) and 95-5 (Traverse City) recently hung up his headphones for the last time because he got a nice gig at Right Brain Brewery in Traverse City. However, he did host a Saturday night program called The Box where he played deep tracks and tunes that haven't been played on the radio for a while.

But now, that show's off the air. The reason? He's waking up a little early.

Starting today, Smitty's now the morning host at Classic Rocker 98.1 (Traverse City) and 95.3 (Straits Area) The Bear. The announcement comes only a few weeks after they parted ways with Steve "Omelette" Normandin, who was their wake-up for two years.

Prior to O-Man, the station carried the once-popular Bob and Tom Show for nearly 20 years. That show is now carried on 106.3 Mac-FM in the Straits area.

Meanwhile, Normandin's ex-partner, Guy Dark is now handling nights on Rock 105 and 95-5, the station's first real night jock since its days as Modern Rock The Zone. The addition of Dark at night makes Rock 105 and 95-5 the only rock station in northern Michigan to have a local night jock.

The Bear had phenomenal ratings in the late 90s and well into the 2000s. However, ratings started to slip when KLT beefed up its classic rock playlist and added in Omelette for mornings. When he was fired, The Bear hired Omelette in hopes of boosting its sagging ratings. Well, it didn't work.

According to a close source, O-Man made over $80,000 per year at KLT.

You know, it's wise for Black Diamond - Rock 105/95-5 and The Bear's parent - to put Smitty in the morning on The Bear. After all, in Traverse City, it will put him next to good 'ol KLT, a station that tried to lure him to do mornings when they fired Omelette a few years ago. Of course, he reportedly said no TWICE since he didn't want to work for Terri Ray. So what does KLT do? When Smitty made a personal attack against KLT on his show on Rock 105/95-5, well, it depends on who you talk to. Smitty claimed that KLT afternoon weasel Tom Devitt - who worked for The Bear and The Zone two different times - and a jock on Classic Hits sister The Fox, Mike Misico made a very vulgar audio file of him bashing KLT mixed in with a song Smitty posted on his personal SoundCloud site and told advertisers that it actually went over Rock 105/95-5's airwaves. Meanwhile, Jerry Coyne, whose Blarney Stone Broadcasting was trying to buy KLT from longtime owner Langer Gokey, who lives in Minot, ND, told me personally that they only sent advertisers the unedited clip of Smitty trashing KLT. The reason being was due to his wife, Sheryl's involvement in the Michigan Lottery.

Smitty was fired because of the incident, but rehired three months later.

Since the incident, Blarney Stone - which owns Rock Q100 and Sports WGRY 101.1 in the Grayling area - withdrew from purchasing WKLT, The Fox and ESPN Radio Up North and now operates N Content Marketing's stations in Traverse City, including longtime AC 101.9 WLDR. Misico was brought in to host mornings on WLDR, but was recently fired to make way for... Omelette's old partner on KLT, Sean "Finster" Finnegan.

You know, I hate people who ask me why I hate KLT with a passion. And most of the people who ask tend to be the morons who grew up with the station. The reason why is because when I was a teen, they avoided bands that would become legends of my generation: KoRn, Rage Against the Machine, Slipknot, Tool and the list goes on. Their excuse? "We don't play kids music" and "the kids already have 106.7 The Peak". Well, 1) The Peak NEVER played any of the aforementioned bands because Top 40 radio ignored them like the plague and 2) the Gokeys would buy out The Peak and flipped it to an ultra-shitty AC (remember WSRT?) that had ZERO ratings.

Well, it's been 20 years, and 1) BOTH Tool and Slipknot had #1 albums recently and KoRn's new album's getting rave reviews (sadly because many of the songs were inspired by Jonathan Davis's wife's death) and 2) KLT and Rock 105/95-5 are tied in the ratings. Not only that, it's the only station of the Gokeys that has any good ratings since neither The Fox or ESPN are above a two share. Hell, it's funny that Taylor Swift's fans call Tool "Grandpa Rock" on Twitter and just 20 years ago, KLT's people passed it as "kids music"!

The truth with Black Diamond is that this is a company that seems to get it. One of the guys worked for WRIF in Detroit and knows rock. This is why Rock 105/95-5 might be THE best Active Rocker in Michigan. No overplayed butt rock from the 70s and most-importantly in this time and age of corporate radio, A LOCAL NIGHT SHOW! Christ, they're eons better than WGRD, which plays shit like Lynyrd Skynyrd, has a midday jock with five chins and a shitty nighttime show that corporate forces them to air. Yes, Rock 105/95-5 has its flaws, too. Their midday jock voicetracks her show from Detroit (though she's way easier on the eyes than the elderly Terri Ray or the porker at GRD) and their morning host also voicetracks out of Green Bay and looks like an old lesbian.

Look at it this way: KLT is dying and will continue to die from the fact that most of its listeners are now fucking old and kiss Drumpf's ass. Oh, and guess what KLT no longer has? A NIGHT JOCK! When Ida quit earlier this year, they never replaced her. It wouldn't shock me that their shitty business and music decisions chased away advertisers. Last time I was up north, I only listened to them for maybe one minute, especially since they started playing Kid cRock's overplayed tribute to northern Michigan set to "Sweet Home Alabama". I'll betcha that once Terri Ray retires, the station will finally change to accommodate the listeners they've disenfranchised over the years.

But thanks to Rock 105/95-5, SiriusXM, Pandora, Spotify and others, it will be too little, too late.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

9.11.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 72
Occupation: Chester Cheetah
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: not being a good boss

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The biggest tragedy ever on American soil is now grown up.

It was 18 years ago today that the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania all had planes crash into them. Three thousand people all perished in those disasters. It was the day that will live in infamy in modern times.

A lot has changed since 9/11. Most of us have a smartphone. Many of us now choose Netflix over cable and at least for eight years, we had an intelligent president. But goddammit, we're still in Afghanistan.

A few days ago, Drumpf promised that he would have peace talks wwit the Taliban. But, it was canceled. Like Dubya and (sadly) Obama, he has no exit strategy to get us out of there. The fact that John Bolton was either let go or quit doesn't help matter much, either.

Drumpf is just like my ex-boss: lots of turnover with employees and nothing gets done. He wants people to be his puppet and the people know better than him. Instead of giving Americans a proper healthcare system and more pay, he wants to build a wall with taxpayer money. Fuck, I'd imagine that he won't allow those now homeless from the Bahamas to come here.

With Dan Bishop's victory in North Carolina Tuesday, the Dems better realize that if they do whatever it takes to get Joe Biden elected president, it won't work. They need a candidate that all people need to get behind and not just a DINO. If Bernie Sanders gets screwed again I'll go Green. Our country cannot afford four more years of Drumpf's BS.

Remember in 2004 when we were saying that we could not afford four more years of Dubya? Here's a thought: remember 2008?

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

9.10.19 Bee-otches of the Day: anybody pissed that Tool knocked Taylor Swift off the #1 spot on the Billboard 200

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various; mainly under 30
Occupation: religious nuts
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: needing a Swift kick in the ass

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Somewhere out there, some young, millennial girl is in her bedroom, hugging her pillow in tears.

She's not crying because she broke up with her boyfriend, or even because her favorite reality show didn't end the way she wanted it to. It's because her idol, Taylor Swift's latest album got kicked out of Billboard's #1 spot for album sales by a band they never heard of before.

A band that's only been around for 29 years.

Tool's "Fear Inoculum" - their first album in 13 years - kicked T-Swizzle's "Lover" out of the top spot, selling 270,000 units. This has been a good last few weeks for hard rock with both Tool and Slipknot scoring #1 albums. And some felt that rock was dead.

In response to Tool's defeating of Swift, lead singer Maynard James Keenan tweeted a Photoshopped image of himself turning Swift into dust. Of course, many of TayTay's fans are upset that a "grandpa rock" band beat their precious former country music star down to #2, just ahead of Lana Del Rey's comeback album, "Norman Fucking Rockwell" (which has a sexy rendition of Sublime's "Doin' Time").

What might be funny is reading all the tweets from her fans, who were all pooping in Pampers when Tool's last album, "10,000 Days" was released 13 years ago. They sadly don't know who the hell Tool is. Some even posted that they heard that they were big in the 1990s, which BTW, is true. One complained about the fact that the songs on "Fear Inoculum" were over 10 minutes long (the longest tune, "7empest" is about 15 minutes in length). All the songs on "Fear Inoculum" were written by the band themselves, as opposed to the fact that yes, Swift wrote the songs on "Lover", though she used a ton of outside help.

What really makes me shake my head about Swift and how the record industry works is the fact that she's good at selling her soul. She's currently in a partnership with credit card giant Capital One and even appears in a commercial for them. That's right, Swifites! Thanks to the power of Capital One, even you can live like Taylor, but with high interest! Just make sure you make those minimum payments on time or else you'll have a repo man knocking on your door.

The thing is, the world needs Tool and other good rock bands to keep rock alive. It angers me that both record companies and radio companies are simply not doing enough to promote it or even promote newer artists. Hell, look at Saturday Night Live; the only rock act to be the musical guest last season was Michigan's own Greta Van Fleet. So far this upcoming season, the only thing close to a rockin' musical guest will be on the season opener, and it's Billie Eilish.

And BTW, TayTay will appear on episode two. A perfect time to use the bathroom.

Tool's #1 debut is also a slap in the face to the naysayers who all dismissed bands like them, KoRn, Slipknot, Rage Against the Machine and others as "kids bands" in the 1990s. You know, like that piece of shit "rock station" up in northern Michigan called WKLT. The only time I EVER heard Tool on KLT was when their old night jock, "The Renegade" played "Forty-Six and 2" on his nightly Renegade Shoot-out or whatever it was called. Guess what? THE LISTENERS LOVED IT! Of course, he was canned not long afterward, probably because the asshole who was running KLT at the time, Richard Dills sure as hell didn't want REAL ROCK MUSIC to be played on the station, which is why I and others my age have a grudge against them. Now that Rock 105 and 95-5 is taking away their numbers, it's living proof that if KLT last another 10 years, I'll be shocked.

Oh, and Maynard's from northern Michigan, having graduated from Scottville High School.

The point is, I understand. I sound like an old guy from the 1960s who loves Frank Sinatra telling my son who loves The Beatles that his music sucks. But then again, The Beatles were edgy while Frank was old. Tool's edgy while Taylor Swift is pure cornbread without butter. When I was a kid, parents HATED Marilyn Manson because he was a product of Satan. Now, the only controversial band is Ghost and they don't get the publicity Manson got in the 90s!

The thing is, there's lots of good rock out there, but radio stations and record labels need to promote them. If Tool and Slipknot can have #1 albums, so can Volbeat, Ghost, Halestorm and other bands that dominate Active Rock radio today.

Rock's not dead, just the brains of music and radio execs.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, September 9, 2019

9.9.19 Bee-otches of the Day: the religious right

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: religious nuts
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: acting retarded

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Over the weekend, hundreds of people in Grand Rapids watched a show loaded with drag queens.

Drag queens who also have Down's Syndrome.

The show was called Drag Syndrome, which played to a sold out crowd at the legendary Wealthy Theatre. The show ended up doing a second show Sunday night to accommodate the overflow crowd. Drag Syndrome tours around the world; they did shows in Canada and England, just to name a few.

The shows were a part of Project One, which is pretty much ArtPrize, you know, that art competition created by the Devos family? Personally, I think they created ArtPrize to compensate for the money they gave to anti-gay groups over the years. Let's remember: they own an NBA franchise and they simply don't want to go down the same road Donald Sterling trotted on.

Originally, Drag Syndrome was supposed to play at Tanglefoot, a venue owned by Peter Meijer, who is running for Congress and is an heir to that little rich family that owns big box stores. He pulled out of showing Drag Syndrome because he felt that their performers are being manipulated. When the shows moved to the Wealthy, the protesters followed. Sadly, these protesters all cried that the
performers are unaware that they are being used for entertainment and are a target for bullying.

When I think about all this, I think about the King of the Hill episode where Bobby wanted to be a plus-sized model for a clothing store for fat kids. Hank stopped him from doing a fashion show at the local mall because the models were all getting egged by the local bullies. Well, I don't think there were any bullies at all sitting at the Wealthy Theater both nights. From all accounts, all went well.

The reality is that there's a reason why Howard Stern has a Wack Pack loaded with people with disabilities. There's a reason why there's dwarf tossing. And that reason why is because the people who do all this feel OK doing it. Hell, many of Howard's Wack Packers have been on the show for over 20 years! In the case of Drag Syndrome, some might view it as a freak show, but the reality is that these people have been humiliated all of their lives. For them, dressing up like a woman expresses who they want to be. The right will cry that people with Down's Syndrome can't think for themselves. Folks, I've met people with disabilities who are also members of the LGBTQ+ community and they are functioning folks like the most of us. Methinks that the right-winged pricks who protested outside of the Wealthy simply are working hard to keep Grand Rapids a haven for assholes like them. They probably all think that the Bible was written in the 1600s by King James and that the word "homosexuality" was around back in the day. They probably think that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that it's flat, too.

You see, it's assholes like those who protest outside of the drag show that cause people to not even want to go to church anymore. They make me ask what made them God? They don't have Down's Syndrome, so what makes them think like them?

You know, if you don't want to watch drag shows, DON'T GO THERE. If you're Muslim and don't eat pork, DON'T BUY IT. DON'T FORCE THE LOCAL SUPERMARKET TO STOP SELLING IT BECAUSE OF YOUR BELIEFS. Don't like strip clubs? DON'T GO THERE, AND DON'T PREVENT PEOPLE LIKE ME FROM GOING TO ONE!

I can go on and on. Personally, I don't got to drag shows because I'm not gay. But I'm happy that there probably were more people inside the Wealthy than outside protesting. I'm happy there's people in Grand Rapids that aren't still in the Stone Age.

Just because you don't look retarded doesn't mean that you aren't.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, September 5, 2019

9.5.19 Bee-otches of the Day: restaurant owners

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: restaurant owners
Last Seen: nationwide
Bee-otched For: causing a mass exodus

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Just imagine: you're in Traverse City, Michigan and it's 3 AM. You're hungry, and you don't want to cook. So, you go out. Most restaurants you see are closed and getting something from a gas station won't do.

But then, you see the famous yellow hexagon with the red letters that read "Denny's". Visions of pancakes and bacon dance in your head. But then, you make an unfortunate realization:

It's closed.

And if you're that desperate for a Grand Slam, ya gotta wait until 7 AM.

Meanwhile, down the street, to quote the Rolling Stones, it's goodbye Ruby Tuesday. Earlier this week, that restaurant closed for good.

Further down Munson Ave. and onto Front Street, the KFC has been closed for months. Right now in the Cherry Capitol, if you want a piece of the Colonel, you'll have to drive all the way to Chum's Corners.

Now, you might be thinking that this mass exodus of restaurant closings in TC is due to its population, which is 15,000. Yes, it's smaller than suburbs of Detroit and Grand Rapids. But guess what? The problem exists here in GR, too. The Steak 'n Shake on 28th Street near I-96 has been closed for months, too.

The reason why Denny's, Ruby Tuesday, KFC, Steak 'n Shake and other chains are closing locations isn't because of sales. It isn't because of remodeling or a nasty visit from the health inspector.

They all closed because of staffing issues.

Yep! It appears that nobody wants to work in that fast-paced environment of flipping burgers and hash. True, there's places where waitresses can make good money in tips, but sadly, nobody gets tipped at a KFC.

But they can make $12 per hour.

The sad reality is that both TC and GR have one unfortunate thing in common: the rent's too damn high. If one only makes $12 per hour, they might find themselves living in a rusty old trailer in Rapid City.

Same with Grand Rapids. When the economy sucked and I was making less than $10 per hour in the 2000s, I should have been living with either parents (not an option) or with a roommate (also not an option since I had only one bedroom). Now, I'm making twice of what I was making and I STILL can't afford a nice house here in GR. Same with my mother, and she and I make roughly the same wage and hours.

The other day here in GR, I drove past a Moe's Southwest Grill and they had a sign in front of their joint that read, "now hiring: $11 per hour". Now, Moe's is owned by a company called Roark International, which also owns Arby's, Buffalo Wild Wings, Carl's Jr./Hardee's and minority stakes in Culver's and Jimmy John's. The company was named after a main character in Ayn Rand's "The Fountainhead". Although Rand had a lot of makings of a progressive, many of her characters - including Howard Roark and John Galt from "Atlas Shrugged" - ended up being heroes of the right.

I'll betcha that if any place hires in people at $11 per hour, the service will suck and chances are that they probably won't have any real education. They probably won't even take their job seriously. Plus, turnover might be sky high.

Here's a solution to help the problems regarding staffing issues: RAISE THE FUCKING MINIMUM WAGE TO $15 PER HOUR! Do companies want loyal, hard workers? Well, there you go. Trust me, when companies treat their employees well, they will work well and customers will be happy. Companies that treat their workers well will see increased sales and better quality. As I mentioned, I was getting shit pay in the 2000s. The reason why was because I had an ex-boss who treated
his people like shit, especially me. Towards the end of his tenure, turnover in my department was sky high. Thankfully, he retired and as soon as he did, our company's sales starting booming again and I got raises for the first time ever.

The point is, if a company - like a restaurant - can't keep workers, it's their fault. When the economy does well, the people will return, and when a company has to close because they pay their workers shit, well, that's their problem.

When a bad business doesn't change with every new day, nobody's gonna miss them.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

9.4.19 Bee-otch of the Day: a money-grubbing monk

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: anonymous
Age: old
Occupation: fake monk
Last Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: putting money over peace and love

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On Monday, I did something I never did before: go to Chicago.

I recently made a new friend and she just happens to be from Illinois. She wanted to take a day trip to either northern Michigan or Chicago. I chose Chi-town because I never really been there before sans layovers at O'Hare and Midway, plus the taxi ride from the hospital back to the airport after collapsing there earlier many years ago.

Needless to say, the trip wasn't bad. My friend and I checked out several parks and took in the breathtaking views of the skyline. We didn't stay long simply because parking was not cheap. We stayed for maybe two hours and paid $16 to park.

Chicago is known for its sad amount of crime and I learned that even the holiest of people can be giant assholes. While we were talking by downtown, a man dressed like a monk started handing me beads, telling me "God bless you". I handed him $1 because he seemed to be so kind. Then, the dipshit started looking into my opened wallet and told me to give him $5. He started getting pissed, so we ran off.

Funny, I thought monks were all about peace. But, this asshole just wanted money. Simply put, he was on the same page as all these fake fucks like everybody on TBN. It's about money.

You know, shame on anybody who is on the street and begs for money, even if they don't need it. I know, it's tough for some to gain good employment, but if they try hard, they can get it.

But at least my new cellphone came back home in one piece.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

9.3.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Chick-fil-A

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Chick-fil-A
Age: 73
Occupation: fast food hell
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA
Bee-otched For: wanting to tear down a Shack

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For more than 40 years, the Flap Jack Shack has been to Traverse City as Mom, Apple Pie and Chevrolet has been to the rest of America.

James Bender opened his first Flap Jack Shack in 1975 in downtown Traverse City's Arcade Building. Eventually, he started building standalone restaurants all over northern Michigan. However, in the 2000s, they eventually started selling off all their restaurants. In 2011, their most-iconic location at US 31 South in Traverse City closed due to Bender's health issues.

Thankfully, not long after Flap Jack Shack closed their doors, they reopened thanks to Grand Rapids restaurateur Jeff Lobdell. His company, Restaurant Partners, has a similar business model to Howard Schelde's popular chain of restaurants which he sold off several years ago. Lobdell also owns Boone's Prime Time Pub, and Apache Trout Grill also in Traverse City and Beltline Bar, Pete's Grill and Tavern, Sundance Grill and Bar, Rockwell Republic, Bagel Beanery, Grand Coney, Red Geranium and Noble Restaurants in Grand Rapids. His biggest chain is The Omelette Shoppe, which has locations in both GR and TC. As a matter of fact, he was considering converting Flap Jack Shack into an Omelette Shoppe, but didn't want to compromise the brand.

Thanks to Lobdell's management, Flap Jack Shack's last remaining location has been a success. Lines go out the door in the morning - especially on weekends - and the place stays busy well into the afternoon. Although remodeled, their building has a lot of vintage aesthetics, all the way down to the lantern that hangs from their front roof. They are pretty much TC's version of IHOP, though they are not open 24 hours per day. TC does have a Denny's, though it's not doing all that well. Plus, they are now only open for lunch and breakfast.

Now, that iconic 1970s diner is planning its demise so those up north can Eat Mor Chikin.

Chick-fil-A has announced plans to buy the FJS property and demolish it to make way for one of their restaurants. According to Lobdell, the Atlanta-based chain has been planning to expand into northern Michigan for years. Oddly enough, the FJS property wasn't even for sale. Lobdell plans to keep FJS in business by moving it to a smaller, more-efficient building, though some will agree that one reason they stay in business is because of its 1970s charm.

On September 11, representatives for Chick-fil-A will stand in front of Garfield Township commissioners in hopes of rezoning the property from local commercial to general commercial. But given Chick-fil-A's long history of playing God, I hope some folks will go to the meeting and knock some sense into the minds of the commissioners.

For years, the family that owns Chick-fil-A, the descendants of founder Truett Cathy have been known for their negative views on the LGBTQ community. The family is known for giving to many far-right groups like the Family Research Council and Focus on the Family. Of course, the chain closes their stores on Sundays because of religious reasons.

What's funny is that this is a family that blasts homosexuals - whom are attacked in newer translations of The Bible - and yet, Truett's two sons are worth $10 billion. Um, ever hear about that story about Jesus and the rich, young man? Ever hear of Jesus saying to him, "it's easier for a camel to go through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven"? Funny how these King James dickwads will believe in a translation of The Bible that was written for a king and use it to attack women, people of color and yes, homosexuals. Of course, Chick-fil-A is owned by southerners, which explains a lot.

Sadly, there's a lot of food chains that don't have locations in TC. I'm looking at TGI Fridays, Chipotle, the aforementioned IHOP and even Five Guys. Let's not forget Popeye's, either. But yet, the city will have its first fucking Chick-fil-A in two years. And to me, that's a slap in the face. Sad that FJS's days are numbered, but that's life sometimes. It's sad that already, rock concerts in the Grand Traverse area are too far and too in between thanks to Streeters' conversion into a megachurch. And now, the Flap Jack Shack is going to be toast all in the name of some asshole southerners who use The Bible to hurt the most-vulnerable.

Where's the Chicken Coop where you need them?

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!