Bee-otch of the Day

Thursday, March 5, 2020

3.5.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Jim Bakker

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Jim Bakker
Age: 80
Occupation: crook
Last Seen: Missouri
Bee-otched For: selling snake oil again

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Every time one turns on the news, it seems that we just can't escape the word coronavirus.

Over 90,000 people now have the disease including nearly 200 here in America. Over 2,400 people have died from the disease, which might have started in an exotic meat market in China. Yes, there's people out there who love to eat bats, and that foolish habit has caused chaos worldwide.

Many stores are out of the basic essentials that people use to fight any flu-like disease, like hand sanitizer and face masks. Near here in Grand Rapids, a local True Value Hardware store in Allendale was under fire for selling face masks individually for $10 per pop. State Attorney General Dana Nessel says that she will admonish anybody who pulls such a thing.

So, how can one fight the coronavirus? Simple: wash your hands after using the restroom or pretty much anything. The CDC says singing "Happy Birthday to You" twice is good enough. Of course, covering your mouth while coughing and sneezing helps, too.

And, of course, avoiding giving any of your hard-earned money to rip-off artist preachers might be a plus, too.

The State of New York's Attorney General's office has sent a cease and desist letter to legendary TV grifter Jim Bakker to stop selling a $125 product called Silver Solution on his show. According to Bakker and a guest on the show, SS was designed to kill the coronavirus and heal those around the person infected by the virus.

As many of us know, Bakker went to prison some 30 years ago for covering up the rape of his secretary, Jessica Hahn and other fraudulent charges. However, he was set free in 1994 and has since, well, making the same fucked-up mistakes that he made all those years ago.

On his current show, Bakker discusses the end times and even sells buckets of food for hundreds of dollars in case the zombies are on their way. On his ministry's website, he sells bottled water for $150, Minutemen emergency meal kits for $80, plus solar panels and generators that are probably cheaper at the local hardware, even the aforementioned True Value.

The sad truth is that people actually believe in Bakker's bullshit, especially after what he did all those years ago. True, God tells us to turn the other cheek and forgive, but he also tells us to avoid false prophets, and that's Jim Bakker to a t. It's sick that many who give to Bakker and other fake preachers all live in homes that had wheels that came off it. Maybe if the white trash who give to Bakker and Co. will stop, they can actually upgrade to a nice, site-built home.

Besides, a multi-pack of Chicken Noodle Soup at Costco is a helluva lot cheaper than Jimmy's snake oil, and will cure the coronavirus a lot faster, too.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2020

3.4.20 Bee-otch of the Day: the media

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: the media
Age: ageless
Occupation: supposed entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not telling the truth as always

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If you were a Gen-Xer or younger, you were probably familiar with the words "Children's Television Workshop".

They're the non-profit group that gave us some of television's most-entertaining educational programs. Sesame Street taught us letters and numbers. The Electric Company taught us how to talk properly and gave some epileptic seizures with its flashy scanimated graphics. Square One Television taught us math. And 3-2-1 Contact made science cool with the candy store clerk from "The Warriors".

One other beloved CTW show was the early 90s classic Ghostwriter. The show was about a group of young kids who communicate with a ghost who forms words and sentences with their writings. The ghost aids the kids in solving some nasty crimes. One of the mysteries involved a kid named Alex, who was running for class president. Another kid tries to smear him by putting up posters saying everything from the fact that he sleeps with a Mickey Mouse night light and that he's scared of fried chicken. Alex ends up making a video proving that he's not afraid of the dark or even a bucket of the Colonel's finest.

But, he loses to a candidate who does something he doesn't do: tell people what he would do as class president.

Yes, Ghostwriter predicted the future of the Democratic Party and especially Hillary Clinton's botched 2016 campaign. While she was airing ads featuring Drumpf talking about grabbing women and making fun of reporters, his fans were listening to him.

Now, it's Biden's turn. The media spun the living shit out of his gains, especially in the South. However, we all know the South. It's conservative and it's loaded with hicks with guns. Oh, no! We can't elect Bernie cuz the NRA hates him! Biden's approach is complete with (and here's a key term) common sense! So is his approach to healthcare. Oh, did I mention that Biden voted for the fake war in Iraq and is for destroying Social Security? Yep! Vote for Uncle Joe and you'll be working til you die.

Sadly, the media has made it sound like Biden's the true champion since he won South Carolina big time. But, SC and the South are a much different place than the rest of America.

The next states to vote in the primary are Idaho, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Washington and yep! Michigan. Biden's stop here in my home state is in a ritzy town near Detroit, complete with a fundraiser. Bernie, OTOH is coming here to Grand Rapids on Sunday at a public park.

Oh, did I mention that Bernie won Michigan in 2016?

Funny how when Biden won South Carolina, both Buttigieg and Klobuchar dropped out of the race. Earlier today, it was Mike Bloomberg's turn. All three have given their endorsements to Biden. Elizabeth "Pocahontas" Warren, however, hasn't, especially since she claimed that Sanders told her that women shouldn't run for president. Bear in mind that Warren hasn't won a state yet, especially her own, Massachusetts.

You know, I get sick when people think that a moderate is better suited to be president over a progressive like Bernie. But then again, most of us weren't alive when Franklin D. Roosevelt was successfully running this country. He created the middle class while assholes like Reagan killed them. Now, we have a system that works only for the rich while the middle class is stuck living paycheck to paycheck.

Look at NBC. They LOVE talking about Biden and calling him a champion while they throw Bernie under the bus. Too many times, they'll show Bernie at a rally and they'll make him sound muffled or even make him look like he's talking to a smaller than expected crowd. The reality is that we should know better. The media and the Democratic National Committee is out there to stop Bernie. But haven't they forgotten? Did they forget about the melee in 2000 that gave us Dubya or the fact that we have Drumpf in the White House?

Folks, we need to fight. We need to stand up to the media and tell them that we want Prime Rib and not a White Castle hamburger. We want a Ferrari and not a Pinto. Most importantly, we want a real leader and not another asshole who's really a celebrity. Sorry, but things gotta change.

And if they don't at least AOC will be old enough to be in the White House in 2024.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, March 3, 2020

3.3.20 Bee-otch of the Day: terrestrial radio

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 100
Occupation: supposed entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: facing karma

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Not all radio stations in big cities have a big city sound.

When I was growing up in northern Michigan in the 1990s, I noticed that some radio stations didn't grow quickly in terms of technology. One station that stood out was Oldies 107.5 WCCW out of Traverse City. Up until the mid-90s, the station was still spinning scratchy vinyl and using tape cartridges for music while other stations evolved into using CDs and CD-fed automation systems. Much of the station sounded muddy. Then again, they were owned by a beer distributor, which said a lot.

In 1996, WCCW was sold to Ross Biederman's Midwestern Broadcasting for $3 million. The station moved from the old Michigan Theatre building to the old Midwestern Cablevision (now a part of Charter) Building, which has long been demolished (in its spot is the Radio Centre, owned by Midwestern). The old 45s and muddy cart of John Phillips' "Mississippi" were replaced with a then-state-of-the-art TM Century CD library.

When I moved to Grand Rapids a few years later, I assumed that all the radio stations in town were out of the Dark Ages. And boy, was I wrong.

I read on social media about WFUR, an old Christian station at 102.9 was just that: old. At night, the music was mostly fed from an old tape-fed automation system. It was clear that they transferred old records to carts and the carts were programmed when a song began and ended. It was interesting, but then again, it was part of the reason why WFUR has long sucked in the ratings.

When Arbitron provided free 12+ ratings for all commercial radio stations in a single market, WFUR was usually dead last in Grand Rapids. There was even a joke that the Grand Rapids Press published pictures of Wiffur's listeners daily. All you had to do was go to the Obituaries page.

In recent years, WFUR has thankfully gone digital. Not only that, they've moved all of their geezer music to their AM sister at 1570 (simulcast on a translator at 92.9). FM 102.9's playlist is mostly typical Contemporary Christian fare from Audio Adrenaline, Big Daddy Weave, Jars of Clay and more.

WFUR has been owned by the Kuiper family since 1950 with the FM signing on in 1960. Many have criticized the Kuipers for being cheap and even treating their employees like shit. Some even wondered when they would sell their stations. Well, very soon, WFUR-FM is going to be sold.

Last week, it was announced that the Kuipers were selling 102.9 to Bible Broadcasting Network for $2.75 million. For years, it was rumored that they would sell, but only to a Christian broadcaster. For shits and giggles, I'm listening to BBN's online stream as I'm typing this. The music they're playing makes any of the nine trillion Hillsong groups sound like Death Metal.

It's expected for the Kuipers to retain WFUR-AM with the 92.9 translator for now, along with 1440 WKPR in Kalamazoo.

Meanwhile in northern Michigan, after 36 years, Northern Broadcast has officially ended broadcasting. On Sunday morning at just after Midnight, the simulcasting Adult Hits duo known as 94.3/92.5 The Fox FM ended broadcast activities with Bryan Adams' 1983 hit "This Time". The stations didn't say goodbye nor even air a top of the hour ID.

But with a pathetic 1.5 in the ratings, did anybody care?

Meanwhile, another one of NBI's old stations have been sold, and it's quite a unique sale. WSRT 106.7 Gaylord has been sold to MacDonald Garber Broadcasting for a mere $215,000. NBI bought the station for $3 million in 1996 from its founder, John DeGroot. Throughout the 80s and 90s, 106.7 was a very successful Top 40 station as The Peak. However, NBI's poor management of the station, which included several unsuccessful format flips caused listeners to alienate the once-popular frequency. The fact that MacDonald Garber owns The Peak's former rival, 106 KHQ is total proof of NBI allowing their competitors to win.

So, how is MacGar affording 106.7? Simple! Just fire KHQ's morning show.

That's right! Rizzo and Jeff were canned on Friday after only a just over a year on the 40-year-old CHR. They did thank the company for allowing them to work there, however.

As for 106.7, there's speculation that MacGar might simulcast flea-powered Adult Hits 104.5 Bob FM out of Traverse City on the 100,000-watt frequency. Another choice might be their Cadillac Country outlet 96.7 The Bull.

NBI - owned by the Gokey family from North Dakota - has been trying to sell their radio stations for years. Their sale to Blarney Stone Broadcasting didn't go through, so they sold four of their six stations one-by-one. Geezer Rock WKLT 97.5 Kalkaska went to Midwestern for $450,000, their former simulcaster WKLZ 98.9 Petoskey went to Educational Media Foundation for $400,000 and will soon be a K-Love affiliate and 94.3 went to Central Michigan University for half a mil. The fates of 105.5 WSRJ Honor and 92.5 WFDX Atlanta are to be certain at this point.

When I started this blog 21 years ago, I started it because I felt homeless regarding the radio dial in northern Michigan. I'm a new rock guy, but KLT and the now defunct Zone played it too safe. Tool was severely ignored up north while there were five or so stations playing Paula Cole to death. All those years later, Tool has one of the best-selling albums of last year while Cole had to crowdfund her last album.

Also 21 years ago, northern Michigan had five major radio station groups. Now, there's only three with Midwestern and MacGar being the only survivors. Black Diamond - whose portfolio includes Rock 105/95-5, Classic Rock 98.1/95.3 The Bear, Big Country 102.9 and 98.5 WUPS - is definitely the lesser of the evils. Why? They're owned by actual broadcasters and not suits. Yes, they have their faults. Rock 105/95-5 could use a live and local morning show while Cartman focuses on his Wisconsin gigs (and don't get me started on the infamous "pissing on KHQ's van" pic that almost got him fired and made me a bitch on a popular broadcasting message board many, many years ago).

You see, if I learned anything from all those years of blogging, it's that karma's a royal motherfucker. NBI felt it. They bought the successful 106.7 The Peak for $3 million, fucked that station up and now, their whole group might not even get that $3 million back. Matt Hanlon felt it. He fucked over KLQ here in Grand Rapids and then got fired from its parent company, Citadel and then fired from Townsquare for drunk driving. And yes, I gotta mention that old asshole from Texas who sent me a C&D many years ago because he fucked over a TON of folks in Traverse City. Now, his stations are in disarray and even more, he had a heart attack late last year. Tom Devitt couldn't make it as the morning jock at The Zone over 20 years ago. When he ended up working in Michigan's Thumb, he started to harass me and others on a popular radio message board. He even got Smitty on Rock 105/95-5 fired by making a fake audio file of his show and sent it to advertisers while he was doing afternoons on KLT. Now, he's out of a job.

I know, there's internet and satellite radio. They know what they're doing while terrestrial radio shoots themselves in the ass. To me, terrestrial radio is kinda like shopping malls. People say that with Amazon and all their kin, malls are obsolete. Yet, there's still some extremely successful malls. Look at Woodland here in Grand Rapids. Their parent, PREIT dumped over $100 million in renovations after Sears closed. The end result is that there's a ton of new stores and even The Cheesecake Factory. But sadly, the mall business does have its Cumuluses and iHeartMedias. The biggie is Moonbeam Capital. Several of their malls, including Century III in Pittsburgh and Shoppingtown Mall near Syracuse have closed due to their poor upkeep. As a matter of fact, Century III was closed after it violated a fire code.

And I'll let you guess who I'm comparing Moonbeam to.

Radio is a business and it needs to be about people. Look at Grand Rapids: 101.3 has been some sort of Classic Rocker for years and it has no fucking listeners. Why can't iHeart make something out of it? Do they care? It's only real purpose these days is being a pass-through for a shitty morning show out of Cleveland that has no fans in Grand Rapids. Back to northern Michigan: when Blarney Stone was booted from 101.9, why in the fucking hell did they take the format to 94.5 and 106.3? IT HAS NO RATINGS! AC bombed on 106.7, 95.5 and 92.9. Broadcasters need to knock it off with thinking that people up north actually like Maroon 5, Sheryl Crow and Celine Dion.

Here's an idea: how about going to the streets and ASKING people what type of music they enjoy! I'll betcha that people up north wouldn't mind maybe a Classic Country station since WTCM and Big Country do well with newer Country. How about a more-rhythmic-leaning CHR, or a 90s-friendly Classic Hits station that actually plays some of the stuff the old Peak used to play (i.e. 69 Boyz' "Tootsie Roll", Bone Thugs 'N Harmony's "Tha Crossroads" or (dare I say this) "Short Dick Man" by 20 Fingers)?

Same with Grand Rapids. Why isn't there's a real, full-power Urban station here in town? Sorry, but the weak FM translator at 104.9 doesn't count and neither does its originator, 1410 WNWZ since its signal is quite weak, especially at night. I know iHeart won't do it because of 104.5. But Cumulus and the fact that most of their stations are horrible in GR make them a good candidate.

I know there's been a myriad of changes in radio as of late and sadly, they're not all positive. If radio wants people to keep listening, they gotta listen to the people. If GRD didn't play too much butt rock, I'd listen more often, for example. But since Octane on SiriusXM constantly sends me listener panels and I participate, maybe GRD should be more like them and stop pretending that a guy like me likes to listen to "Sweet Home Alabama".

Just think: within a few years, those who actually like that song will be on that same page as WFUR's listeners. That's if the Grand Rapids Press is still around in the future.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, March 2, 2020

3.2.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Bob Goodrich

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Bob Goodrich
Age: 79
Occupation: owner of a bankrupt movie theater chain and a failing radio station
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: facing karma

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It's no secret that those of you who have read my blog for years know that once upon a time, I had a shitty boss.

He refused to give raises. He spent millions on new machines but paid people low wages to run them. He told people like me - even when I had sweat trenching my shirt - that I didn't do enough. Yet, he lived in a giant house in the country and went on vacation once per month. Meanwhile, I lived in a small, crappy apartment that I could barely afford due to his piss-poor wages.

A few weeks ago, I was emptying trash when I saw a brochure addressed to my ex-boss, even though he retired nine years ago and has distanced himself from our company. It was from the Republican Party, asking him to continue his support for Drumpf. I fondly remember a small Bush sign in front of my workplace in 2004. It's a known fact that Republicans - who love low wages and love to bust unions - are a huge reason why we had the economic breakdown of 2008.

And sadly, it's some Democrats that are in line with the Repukes.

One of them is Bob Goodrich. I used to like him, but in recent years, he's become a total asshole. My love for him collapsed when he fired most of the hosts on his so-called progressive talk station, WPRR 1680 "Public Reality Radio" here in Grand Rapids. Tragically, Goodrich fired any host who opposed the Democratic Party, especially after the melee that cost Bernie Sanders the nomination in 2016. Station programmer and Southpaws host Darren Gibson and Women Libs Radio host Mary Harrington were among the casualties.

Goodrich also angered many when he fired all of their employees under 18 at his Goodrich Quality Theatres chain recently. Some of the underage workers even signed petitions to get their jobs back.

Well, unlike what John Lennon sang about 50 years ago, karma isn't all that instant, but it will get you.

Last week, Goodrich Quality Theatres filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, citing over $33 million in debt to vendors and studios. Goodrich told MLive that his theaters do bring in money, but not enough to pay off his creditors. He claimed that the chain's downfall began in the early 2010s when his company started to remodel their theaters. Many of the upgrades his cinemas got included new seats (Goodrich is an owner of Telescopic Seating Systems, which makes movie theater seats), IMAX auditoriums and sound and picture upgrades as well. Film distributors forcing theater owners like Goodrich to go digital five years ago might have had an effect on him. One of his debtors is Christie, a company that makes projectors.

But then came Netflix, Hulu and all of its ilk which is way cheaper than going out for a first-run movie. Meanwhile, the GQTs and AMCs of the world charge $12 per adult ticket plus an arm and a leg to enjoy some fresh popped popcorn that only took $1 to make.

Goodrich owns 30 theaters in five states. Their headquarters are here in Grand Rapids where the closest cinema they own is the tiny Ada-Lowell 5, about a 1/2 an hour from town. GQT did have theaters here in Grand Rapids - their first theater, the Savoy opened in 1930, but closed in the 70s - but they couldn't compete with the Loeks family and their dominant Celebration Cinema chain.

Since about half of Goodrich's theaters are leased, it's expected that a judge will order him to give them back to the lessees. It might take out some of GQT's debt. But how much is anybody's guess.

Oh, and the lawyer representing Goodrich in all this? Why, it's good 'ol Tyrone Bynum, the same asshat who fucked over the now-defunct AM 640 and helped Goodrich broom out those who wouldn't allow "vote blue no matter who" in their vocabulary. I would not be surprised if he runs his practice the same way he runs his radio shows. Considering that WPRR only gets a .3 in the ratings, plus the fact that Goodrich is lying that they're a non-profit though they aren't, it only questions how legitimate his practices are. It's almost like the AT&T commercial with the "tax professional" named Dennis Celery.

I understand that owning a movie theater is a tough business, especially if you're a small fish in a wide pond dominated by AMC, Regal and Cinemark. When the distributors forced all cinemas to go digital five years ago, it was devastating news for tiny, small town cinemas, especially those with only one or two screens. Some even had to resort to fundraisers to keep their doors open.

In tiny Suttons Bay, for example, the Bay Theater was owned by the Bahle family for over 40 years. However, financial struggles caused them to close not long ago. But a non-profit bought the theater, built in 1946 and is back to showing movies again. Another theater owner in northern Michigan, the Dawsons - whose Northern Michigan Cinemas are located in Bellaire, Petoskey, Cheboygan, Gaylord and Mackinaw City - got into tax troubles. Their matriarch spent a year in prison while others in the family had to fork over a million bucks to the IRS.

Yes, I love movies, and yes, if there's a movie I just gotta see, Celebration Cinema is my personal choice. Then again, they run a virtual monopoly in my area, though if I wanted to drive an extra 20 minutes, there's the AMC out on Alpine. But yes, I'll admit that I like staying home to watch a movie a lot better. No crowds, no crying children and no high prices. True, John Loeks is a Repuke, but at least he runs his business a helluva lot more legitimately than Goodrich does.

And unlike Goodrich, he'll shine on, like the moon and the stars and the sun.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, February 27, 2020

2.27.20 Bee-otch of the Day: people trying to sabotage Bernie Sanders

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not feeling the Bern

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In a perfect world, you might be in front, but the world will want to destroy you.

Nationwide, Bernie Sanders has enjoyed double digit leads in the polls. But on Tuesday, his competition wanted a piece of him.

At times, the Democratic Debate got ugly with the candidates talking over each other. If a bell rang, it would have been just like Jerry Springer with punches and chairs flying.

Right now, Sanders is in second place in the polls in South Carolina, whose primary is on Saturday. Some blame his stance on guns for his standing in a state that's very pro-gun and was the setting for a mass church shooting five years ago.

But in Bernie's case, the South won't rise again.

Bear in mind too that Super Tuesday is a few days later. Hopefully, it'll mean a huge lead for Bernie and some candidates will drop out, like Tulsi "Present" Gabbard.

Sadly, there's the superdelegates who claim that they will fight against Bernie being the Democratic nominee for president. A few days ago, my Republican friends on Facebook were all crying that Bernie claimed that he would force the middle class into paying 52% in taxes. You know that the Russians are once again feeding shit onto Facebook to make Drumpf look good, right?

Truth be told, if Bernie wins the Democratic nomination like he did in 2016, but gets fucked over again because of corporate Dems who are our friend until they accept bribes, it's another four years of Drumpf. Look at the Coronavirus situation. Drumpf put his asshole VP in charge, who also caused HIV cases to rise in Indiana because he fucked over needle sharing programs. Look at the latest mass shooting in Milwaukee at the MillerCoors plant. I'll betcha that the shooter had mental health issues. But they won't be addressed because too many people don't have access to a decent health system.

But, hey! 1,300 people bitched to the FCC about J.Lo and Shakira's Super Bowl Halftime Show. Wanna bet that they will slap CBS with a fine instead of the rest of the government protecting innocent people from guns? Remember, the government did a witch hunt over Janet Jackon's boob but did nothing after Sandy Hook.

The point is that it's been three years since Drumpf became POTUS and now, we're getting fucked. Just today, the Dow had its biggest one-day drop, EVER. Our economy is getting to be as bad as it was in 2008 and it's gonna get worse if shit doesn't get done.

Since I was born, we've had four Repukes and only two Dems as president. Yes, Clinton boosted the economy, but also fucked over the broadcast industry and did nothing for healthcare. Obama was better, but he was a centralist at best. Obamacare was an improvement for healthcare, but there's still too many without real healthcare.

The media - especially NBC - seems to make it sound like Bernie needs to lean a little more to the right to get into the White House. I disagree and so does Bernie. Besides, what hurts the Dems the most is when they act too conservative. I look back to 2000, the first presidential election I could have voted for. I hated Bush and even though Gore was better, I was pissed that he chose Lieberman as his running mate. Same problem in 2016: Drumpf won in part to him exposing Hillary as somebody who helped to get us into Dubya's fake wars. He pretended to be the good guy, but let's face it: his supporters aren't all that smart.

And speaking of NBC, ever notice that when he's on the Nightly News during his rallies that he sounds muffled? Rumor has it that they're intentionally trying to make him sound like the teacher from the Charlie Brown TV specials simply because Sanders is against big media and, well, NBC is owned by an evil cable company. Want proof? Listen to last week's Southpaws.

Back to the 52% remark: this year, I paid $500 more in taxes than I did the year before. That money's going to Drumpf's golf trips. If I pay more in taxes, I would want it to help me in case I need to go to the hospital. I would want it to help a poor person go to college. Hell, I would want it to go to the troubled kid who needs mental help before he shoots up a school. We need change, and it's not gonna happen at the links of Mar-A-Lago.

And if the DNC's not gonna give us what we want, The world will be a dust bowl by 2024.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

2.25.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Zeeland, Michigan

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Zeeland
Age: 173
Occupation: city
Last Seen: Ottawa County, MI
Bee-otched For: not feeling the zeal

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Every day, I feel blessed that I live in a blue state.

But sadly, there's parts of my home state that are hemorrhaging red. And one of those parts is close by.

Patrick Cooper owns a tattoo shop in downtown Zeeland, pop. 5,500 called Z.ink. Zeeland has long been a haven for conservative Republicans. In 2016, Drumpf won Ottawa County with 68٪ of the vote. Last week, Cooper opened Grimlock’s Emporium for the Misbehaved Lady, a store that sold adult novelties. Its storefront was pretty much clandestine from the rest of downtown, with only the word "Grimlock" on its front door.

But in this age of social media, word travels fast.

Grimlock's opened on Thursday and by Friday afternoon, the city's Chief of Police told Cooper to shut it down. Despite being notoriously ultra-conservative (the town once banned the sale of alcohol), Zeeland does allow adult businesses. But, it's only allowed in the city's industrial area.

Even tame stuff like cat 'o nine tails and handcuffs were ordered off the shelves. However, cleaning supplies were allowed to stay on their shelves.

In an interview with WOOD-TV Grand Rapids' Heather Walker, Cooper said it best: "The idea that I could sell a chainsaw to a four-year-old but then get in trouble for selling his mother a pink plastic replica of the male anatomy is silly to me, it’s crazy, but that’s where we are at right now."

Cooper has even set up a GoFundMe page to help his legal expenses in fighting City Hall.

The sad tragedy in all this is that Patrick Cooper is right. This is 2020 and the city fathers pretend that sex is a bad, bad thing. And it's not just Zeeland, it's America, too. When Janet Jackson accidentally showed her right boob on TV 16 years ago, the FCC performed a witch hunt. But when the shootings at Parkland, Sandy Hook and others occurred, nothing happened.

Personally, I think it's sad knowing that people are scared of sex. Playboy even stopped publishing nudity a few years ago only to bring it back after an outcry. Cinemax has stopped showing their fare of late night softcore flicks. Here in Grand Rapids, nude dancing is a no-no, yet this city's crime rate keeps rising. It seems that having a safe space to talk about sex and sexual desires is a thing of the past, especially in the #MeToo movement. And because of this, birth rates in America are decreasing.

Last week, I read this interesting article from The State News from Michigan State about the stigma surrounding the strip club industry. For years, people bitched that strip clubs are nasty, the women are prostitutes and so on. I totally agree that for the most part, it's all false. True, the strip club industry does have bad apples. But, I totally agree that most strippers are normal, everyday people who have personal lives and can be model citizens for the community. Hell, most of them are better people than preachers who rob from people.

It's funny how conservatives will attack anything having to do with sex, and yet, they worship a man who hung out with prostitutes. Funny how Christians will cry "be like Jesus". OK, but then again, strip clubs aren't necessarily houses of ill repute, either.

Love it or hate it, America is still a nation built on capitalism. If you like a business, you buy from it. If you love a product, you buy it over and over again. But, if you don't like it, you don't buy it. I hate Walmart. I don't buy from there because their employees are in the poor house while the Waltons are worth over $50 billion apiece. Yet, I wish people would stop buying from them. It's just me. If I owned a supermarket, I would definitely sell bacon and pork products. I haven't heard of any Muslims telling grocers to stop selling it. Personally, I think they simply don't care. If they don't like pork, that's their prerogative.

This is why I think Jebus freaks are pissed that they're under attack. They're the ones who create silly laws to tell people like me and you what we can or can't watch or listen to. They're the ones who judge us because we buy sex toys instead of spending that money on them so they can buy that same sex toy. You know, it's funny when they say "there's one God, and you're not him" and they're the ones who judge.

Look, if somebody loves sex, let them love sex. If somebody wants sex, hopefully they can be with somebody who loves it as much as they do. But what happens in one's bedroom is no one's business but theirs. I think it's time for the people of Zeeland to simply wake up.

Or maybe, it's time for somebody to *ahem* whip them into shape.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, February 24, 2020

2.24.20 Bee-otch of the Day: terrestrial radio

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 100
Occupation: entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: going to Jesus

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Friday night marked a sad, painful moment in Boston radio history.

Several former DJs at Boston rocker WAAF clamored into the station's broadcast booth to bid adios to their loyal fans. At about 11:55 PM, they played their final song, which was "Black Sabbath" by Black Sabbath.

At the stroke of midnight, the station switched over to their new format: Christian Contemporary Music.

WAAF was Boston's only home for new rock music in recent years. But poor decisions made in management and programming had sunk the station below a one share in the ratings. Before they signed off Friday night, one of the jocks admitted that they were going to revamp the station a week from today. They claimed that the station was going to play more new music from newer artists and they were also going to rid themselves from their syndicated night program The Men's Room.

But, it wasn't meant to be.

WAAF's parent, Entercom announced late last week that they were selling the station to Educational Media Foundation for $10 million. The news was a shock to everybody in the radio business, especially since it was a fast change. WAAF is now playing EMF's K-Love format, whose artists include For King and Country (an ex of mine's favorite band... barf), TobyMac, Casting Crowns and Hillsong Worship.

In the past few years, EMF and K-Love have purchased many commercial-band FM stations, especially in major markets. Classic Rock WLUP 97.9 The Loop in Chicago, Hot AC WPLJ 95.5 New York City and Detroit's WPZR Praise 102.7 (which was Z-Rock in the 1990s) have been among the stations sold to EMF in recent years and are now K-Love stations.

And the K-Love bug has had an effect on my old stomping grounds of northern Michigan as well.

As I've reported since late last year, geezer rock WKLT 97.5 was sold to Midwestern Broadcasting, which also owns WTCM-AM/FM, WCCW-AM/FM and Z93 for $450,000. However, because Midwestern was now capped regarding the number of FM stations they could own, simulcaster 98.9 WKLZ Petoskey was not included in the sale. So, WKLT's old owners, Northern Broadcast sold the station for a mere $400,000 to EMF. Well, today marked the first day of Midwestern running KLT and there were some notable changes. One was that Steve "Omelette" Normandin is back in mornings as speculated for some time. Afternooner Derek, aka "Sasquatch" is now his sidekick. For the time being, weekender "California Girl" is handling afternoons. The station's former morning host "Racin Jason" has been sacked.

And yes, there's been no change in the music. Same shitty 1970s butt rock that they've been murdering to death for 30 years.

But guess what? KLT lives in the Petoskey area, sadly. At midnight, WBCM 93.5 - which has been simulcasting WTCM 103.5 Traverse City for some 30 years - will flip to KLT's new simulcaster for the Straits region. It will mark the first time in its 42 years on the air that 93.5 - which started as WCLX and broadcasted from a dairy barn - will not be a Country-formatted station.

WTCM will now lose the Straits area, especially since their transmitter is in northern Wexford County. Of course, Country fans will still have plenty to choose from, including Big Country 102.9 and Big Country Gold 1240. I was going to say "Straits Country 97.7", but that was recently sold to one of the morons, "Trucker Randy" Bishop who owned failed teabagger talker 94.5 WYPV in Mackinaw City. It's now a hybrid of his tinfoil hat diatribes and Oldies from artists who probably wouldn't agree to his politics.

Meanwhile, as I'm typing this, 94.3/92.5 The Fox is alive and well for the time being. The 80s and onward station's 94.3 signal in Leland was sold to CMU, though 92.5's fate in uncertain. I'll betcha as soon as CMU gets their shit together, all business at 1020 Hastings Street, Suite 102 in Traverse City will cease to exist.

Granted, I'm not surprised that KLT didn't really change music-wise and neither did the addition of 93.5. But, I've also heard that KLT might be getting a THIRD(!!!) signal. they have a few stations in Alpena, including another popular Country outlet, WATZ 99.3 and 96.7.

But here's another question: will KLT be involved in yet another sale?

You see, Midwestern's been around since 1939. Its founder, Les Biederman passed it to his son, Ross when he died in 1986 at the age of 75. Ross is now 80. I know some folks who work inside the hallowed halls of both the Paul Bunyan Building and Radio Centre. Ross has no biological family to pass Midwestern to when he dies or is unable to run the company. But, he has his stepson, company Business Manager Chris Warren. Warren's father died and his mother, Brenda married Ross. Biederman has been a father figure to Chris so much that he pretty much has the keys to Midwestern. Rumor has it that Ross no longer runs the company day-to-day. Even though he apparently is a nice guy, Chris is just like Matt Hanlon when it comes to broadcasting. He's a suit and not a broadcaster. He's all about making money and not giving the people of northern Michigan a quality product. Case in point: Z93. For a CHR, the imaging is bland and it doesn't help that morning man Ron Pritchard is known for posting some pretty hateful shit on Facebook. Z93 is currently in the shitter ratings-wise and yet Warren will put Pritchard in a hotel if the roads are bad since he lives over by Boyne City.

There's rumors that Midwestern is for sale, and Townsquare - which owns radio stations here in Grand Rapids, plus Flint and Lansing - is interested. Part of the reason why Midwestern wanted KLT was because they wanted some type of rock station in their portfolio. Townsquare is a pretty friendly company when it comes to rock, especially classic rock.

But then again, Townsquare does raise another issue and it's part of the reason why WAAF's ratings sucked towards the end. That issue is the fact that many rock stations that are the home of current rockers like Disturbed, Tool, Five Finger Death Punch and Green Day think they now have a license to play geezer rock from Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, ZZ Top and even fucking Kansas. Yes, I've heard "Carry On Wayward Son" just moments after I've woken up and those beginning five seconds of that flaming piece of boomer shit have almost given me a heart attack. But sadly, that's the price I've paid for having an old alarm clock that has WGRD tuned to it.

Look, I'll be 39 in a few months and I sure as hell don't want to hear the same tired, burned-out horseshit my parents forced me to listen to growing up. KLT was sadly the de facto rock station in northern Michigan in the 90s and they spat on the music of my generation. I was too young for KLT and too old for most of the wussy-ass pop shit on KHQ and The Peak. I've even heard from people from Detroit and other major cities saying on social media something to the tune of "I love northern Michigan! BUT THE GODDAMN RADIO UP THERE SUCKS!" Now with Pandora, Spotify, SiriusXM and other digital radio platforms, us youngin's can have good, quality radio on our phones while the fogeys have terrestrial radio.

And the funny thing is that Rock 105/95-5 has a better playlist than GRD! I just peeked at their last ten songs and it's a nice mix of 90s (Pearl Jam, Black Crowes and Nirvana), 00s (Red Hot Chili Peppers, Switchfoot and Stone Sour), 10s (Ghost and Arctic Monkeys) and YES! CURRENTS! (Blue Stones and Shinedown). In some situations, one would wonder where the Pink Floyd, Def Leppard and Jimi Hendrix is. I know! THEIR SISTER STATION, THE BEAR!

If terrestrial radio wants me and others back, they need to be more like Rock 105 and 95-5 and less like GRD. Leave the Classic Rock to the Classic Rock stations and knock it off thinking that butt rock will work on a station that spins the latest Slipknot. Most Oldies stations don't even play music from the 50s and 60s anymore, so why should I have to sit through Molly Hatchet to get to Foo Fighters? Sorry, but the music my drunk polack ex-stepdad listened to doesn't and never will define me.

And if this trend continues, more stations could be finding themselves seeing Jesus.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!