Name: Zeeland
Age: 173
Occupation: city
Last Seen: Ottawa County, MI
Bee-otched For: not feeling the zeal
Age: 173
Occupation: city
Last Seen: Ottawa County, MI
Bee-otched For: not feeling the zeal
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Every day, I feel blessed that I live in a blue state.
But sadly, there's parts of my home state that are hemorrhaging red. And one of those parts is close by.
Patrick Cooper owns a tattoo shop in downtown Zeeland, pop. 5,500 called Z.ink. Zeeland has long been a haven for conservative Republicans. In 2016, Drumpf won Ottawa County with 68٪ of the vote. Last week, Cooper opened Grimlock’s Emporium for the Misbehaved Lady, a store that sold adult novelties. Its storefront was pretty much clandestine from the rest of downtown, with only the word "Grimlock" on its front door.
But in this age of social media, word travels fast.
Grimlock's opened on Thursday and by Friday afternoon, the city's Chief of Police told Cooper to shut it down. Despite being notoriously ultra-conservative (the town once banned the sale of alcohol), Zeeland does allow adult businesses. But, it's only allowed in the city's industrial area.
Even tame stuff like cat 'o nine tails and handcuffs were ordered off the shelves. However, cleaning supplies were allowed to stay on their shelves.
In an interview with WOOD-TV Grand Rapids' Heather Walker, Cooper said it best: "The idea that I could sell a chainsaw to a four-year-old but then get in trouble for selling his mother a pink plastic replica of the male anatomy is silly to me, it’s crazy, but that’s where we are at right now."
Cooper has even set up a GoFundMe page to help his legal expenses in fighting City Hall.
The sad tragedy in all this is that Patrick Cooper is right. This is 2020 and the city fathers pretend that sex is a bad, bad thing. And it's not just Zeeland, it's America, too. When Janet Jackson accidentally showed her right boob on TV 16 years ago, the FCC performed a witch hunt. But when the shootings at Parkland, Sandy Hook and others occurred, nothing happened.
Personally, I think it's sad knowing that people are scared of sex. Playboy even stopped publishing nudity a few years ago only to bring it back after an outcry. Cinemax has stopped showing their fare of late night softcore flicks. Here in Grand Rapids, nude dancing is a no-no, yet this city's crime rate keeps rising. It seems that having a safe space to talk about sex and sexual desires is a thing of the past, especially in the #MeToo movement. And because of this, birth rates in America are decreasing.
Last week, I read this interesting article from The State News from Michigan State about the stigma surrounding the strip club industry. For years, people bitched that strip clubs are nasty, the women are prostitutes and so on. I totally agree that for the most part, it's all false. True, the strip club industry does have bad apples. But, I totally agree that most strippers are normal, everyday people who have personal lives and can be model citizens for the community. Hell, most of them are better people than preachers who rob from people.
It's funny how conservatives will attack anything having to do with sex, and yet, they worship a man who hung out with prostitutes. Funny how Christians will cry "be like Jesus". OK, but then again, strip clubs aren't necessarily houses of ill repute, either.
Love it or hate it, America is still a nation built on capitalism. If you like a business, you buy from it. If you love a product, you buy it over and over again. But, if you don't like it, you don't buy it. I hate Walmart. I don't buy from there because their employees are in the poor house while the Waltons are worth over $50 billion apiece. Yet, I wish people would stop buying from them. It's just me. If I owned a supermarket, I would definitely sell bacon and pork products. I haven't heard of any Muslims telling grocers to stop selling it. Personally, I think they simply don't care. If they don't like pork, that's their prerogative.
This is why I think Jebus freaks are pissed that they're under attack. They're the ones who create silly laws to tell people like me and you what we can or can't watch or listen to. They're the ones who judge us because we buy sex toys instead of spending that money on them so they can buy that same sex toy. You know, it's funny when they say "there's one God, and you're not him" and they're the ones who judge.
Look, if somebody loves sex, let them love sex. If somebody wants sex, hopefully they can be with somebody who loves it as much as they do. But what happens in one's bedroom is no one's business but theirs. I think it's time for the people of Zeeland to simply wake up.
Or maybe, it's time for somebody to *ahem* whip them into shape.
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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