Name: Jim Bakker
Age: 80
Occupation: crook
Last Seen: Missouri
Bee-otched For: selling snake oil again
Age: 80
Occupation: crook
Last Seen: Missouri
Bee-otched For: selling snake oil again
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Every time one turns on the news, it seems that we just can't escape the word coronavirus.
Over 90,000 people now have the disease including nearly 200 here in America. Over 2,400 people have died from the disease, which might have started in an exotic meat market in China. Yes, there's people out there who love to eat bats, and that foolish habit has caused chaos worldwide.
Many stores are out of the basic essentials that people use to fight any flu-like disease, like hand sanitizer and face masks. Near here in Grand Rapids, a local True Value Hardware store in Allendale was under fire for selling face masks individually for $10 per pop. State Attorney General Dana Nessel says that she will admonish anybody who pulls such a thing.
So, how can one fight the coronavirus? Simple: wash your hands after using the restroom or pretty much anything. The CDC says singing "Happy Birthday to You" twice is good enough. Of course, covering your mouth while coughing and sneezing helps, too.
And, of course, avoiding giving any of your hard-earned money to rip-off artist preachers might be a plus, too.
The State of New York's Attorney General's office has sent a cease and desist letter to legendary TV grifter Jim Bakker to stop selling a $125 product called Silver Solution on his show. According to Bakker and a guest on the show, SS was designed to kill the coronavirus and heal those around the person infected by the virus.
As many of us know, Bakker went to prison some 30 years ago for covering up the rape of his secretary, Jessica Hahn and other fraudulent charges. However, he was set free in 1994 and has since, well, making the same fucked-up mistakes that he made all those years ago.
On his current show, Bakker discusses the end times and even sells buckets of food for hundreds of dollars in case the zombies are on their way. On his ministry's website, he sells bottled water for $150, Minutemen emergency meal kits for $80, plus solar panels and generators that are probably cheaper at the local hardware, even the aforementioned True Value.
The sad truth is that people actually believe in Bakker's bullshit, especially after what he did all those years ago. True, God tells us to turn the other cheek and forgive, but he also tells us to avoid false prophets, and that's Jim Bakker to a t. It's sick that many who give to Bakker and other fake preachers all live in homes that had wheels that came off it. Maybe if the white trash who give to Bakker and Co. will stop, they can actually upgrade to a nice, site-built home.
Besides, a multi-pack of Chicken Noodle Soup at Costco is a helluva lot cheaper than Jimmy's snake oil, and will cure the coronavirus a lot faster, too.
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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