BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!
Name: Christopher Ilitch
Age: 53
Occupation: playing with his father's money
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: investing in crap
Age: 53
Occupation: playing with his father's money
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: investing in crap
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Sixty years ago next year, a 30-year-old washed-up baseball player turned his upset into some real dough.
Both the money kind and the stuff that you make pizza with.
Since starting Little Caesars Pizza in 1959 in a small strip mall in Garden City, MI, Mike Ilitch was seen as a titan who made billions but gave so much back to the city of Detroit. When he died last year, it was even revealed that he moved Rosa Parks into a nice high-rise and paid her rent for the rest of her life after she was attacked at her old house. It's a definite far cry from the hatred spawned by one of his many rivals, "Papa John" Schnatter.
But like I mentioned, Ilitch died last year at the age of 87. Since his passing, control of the family empire has been taken over by his son, Christopher. Now, when Mike ran his empire, his two pet sports teams, the NHL's Red Wings and MLB's Tigers were championship-par teams. Hell, he helped to nurse the Red Wings to health when he bought the long-suffering team in 1982. Under his aegis, the Red Wings won four Stanley Cups and the Tigers made it into the World Series twice. Today, both the Tigers (which ended this past two seasons with mediocre 64-98 records) and the Red Wings (currently the worst team in the NHL with a 2-7-2 record) are flaming piles of shit. Even more embarrassing is that the Boston Red Sox won the World Series on Sunday and a huge chunk of their lineup is made up of ex-Tigers. Hell, the Detroit Free Press tweeted after the Sox' win that the 2014 Detroit Tigers had finally won the World Series.
The sad thing is that the Tigers are now practically a farm team and Miguel Cabrera - who was on the DL most of last season - is their only saving grace. The only good news about the Tigers from last year was that they did better than four other teams in all of baseball and they did finish in third place in the AL Central. In 2017, they were tied with the A's as the worst team in baseball (and oddly enough, former manager Brad Ausmus was just hired to be the Angels' skipper).
Now, here it is in October and as somebody who had always chosen the Wings over the Pistons, I'm now doing the opposite. At least they have a talented new coach in Dwane Casey - who was the NBA Coach of the Year and was still fired by the Raptors - while the Wings don't have a captain or any real direction anymore. Plus, at least us pissed Wings fans are learning that a successful AHL coach like Jeff Blashill in the NHL is like a toddler trying to shove a square piece into a circle hole in a shape puzzle.
Now comes word that the Ilitches are considering starting their own regional sports network that would carry both the Wings and Tigers (sounds like FSN Detroit at least will still have the Pistons). When the announcement was made, some boasted that they wouldn't pay $15/mo. to watch shitty teams and another proclaiming that he would PASS on that (for those born over 20 years ago, the Pro-Am Sports System was a regional sports network like FSN here in Michigan. They carried all the major sports teams out of Detroit sans Lions. They went out of business when FSN was launched in 1997). The reason for the Ilitches apparently wanting to get into the broadcast business is simply because of other team-owned regionals like New York's YES (owned by the Yankees) and the Red Sox's NESN.
You know, here's an idea: HOW ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR FUCKING TEAMS INSTEAD? Look, I want Detroit to have good teams. But as long as all four play like shit, well yeah, nobody's going to come to the games! Yes, there's the new Little Caesars Arena, but already, they're changing the seats from orange to black. Why? When they're empty, they're an eyesore to many.
Guess what? So do teams that don't make the playoffs.
---
Sixty years ago next year, a 30-year-old washed-up baseball player turned his upset into some real dough.
Both the money kind and the stuff that you make pizza with.
Since starting Little Caesars Pizza in 1959 in a small strip mall in Garden City, MI, Mike Ilitch was seen as a titan who made billions but gave so much back to the city of Detroit. When he died last year, it was even revealed that he moved Rosa Parks into a nice high-rise and paid her rent for the rest of her life after she was attacked at her old house. It's a definite far cry from the hatred spawned by one of his many rivals, "Papa John" Schnatter.
But like I mentioned, Ilitch died last year at the age of 87. Since his passing, control of the family empire has been taken over by his son, Christopher. Now, when Mike ran his empire, his two pet sports teams, the NHL's Red Wings and MLB's Tigers were championship-par teams. Hell, he helped to nurse the Red Wings to health when he bought the long-suffering team in 1982. Under his aegis, the Red Wings won four Stanley Cups and the Tigers made it into the World Series twice. Today, both the Tigers (which ended this past two seasons with mediocre 64-98 records) and the Red Wings (currently the worst team in the NHL with a 2-7-2 record) are flaming piles of shit. Even more embarrassing is that the Boston Red Sox won the World Series on Sunday and a huge chunk of their lineup is made up of ex-Tigers. Hell, the Detroit Free Press tweeted after the Sox' win that the 2014 Detroit Tigers had finally won the World Series.
The sad thing is that the Tigers are now practically a farm team and Miguel Cabrera - who was on the DL most of last season - is their only saving grace. The only good news about the Tigers from last year was that they did better than four other teams in all of baseball and they did finish in third place in the AL Central. In 2017, they were tied with the A's as the worst team in baseball (and oddly enough, former manager Brad Ausmus was just hired to be the Angels' skipper).
Now, here it is in October and as somebody who had always chosen the Wings over the Pistons, I'm now doing the opposite. At least they have a talented new coach in Dwane Casey - who was the NBA Coach of the Year and was still fired by the Raptors - while the Wings don't have a captain or any real direction anymore. Plus, at least us pissed Wings fans are learning that a successful AHL coach like Jeff Blashill in the NHL is like a toddler trying to shove a square piece into a circle hole in a shape puzzle.
Now comes word that the Ilitches are considering starting their own regional sports network that would carry both the Wings and Tigers (sounds like FSN Detroit at least will still have the Pistons). When the announcement was made, some boasted that they wouldn't pay $15/mo. to watch shitty teams and another proclaiming that he would PASS on that (for those born over 20 years ago, the Pro-Am Sports System was a regional sports network like FSN here in Michigan. They carried all the major sports teams out of Detroit sans Lions. They went out of business when FSN was launched in 1997). The reason for the Ilitches apparently wanting to get into the broadcast business is simply because of other team-owned regionals like New York's YES (owned by the Yankees) and the Red Sox's NESN.
You know, here's an idea: HOW ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR FUCKING TEAMS INSTEAD? Look, I want Detroit to have good teams. But as long as all four play like shit, well yeah, nobody's going to come to the games! Yes, there's the new Little Caesars Arena, but already, they're changing the seats from orange to black. Why? When they're empty, they're an eyesore to many.
Guess what? So do teams that don't make the playoffs.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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