Bee-otch of the Day: April 2019

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

4.17.19 Bee-otches of the Day: the Republican party

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: county commissioners
Last Seen: Muskegon, MI
Bee-otched For: kicking Planned Parenthood to the curb

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It seems that every time Republicans take over the country, women get fucked over.

Tough anti-abortion bills are being signed left and right. One was signed last week in Ohio by that state's governor, Ralphie from "A Christmas Story".

Now, the Repukes are shooting their eyes out in Muskegon.

Yesterday, the county commissioners voted 6-2 to revoke the lease of Planned Parenthood from the county health department building. Their excuse was that the building did not have enough room for PP while people getting vaccinated had to do it in a temporary space.

PP now has 90 days to leave the health department building.

Hundreds of protesters and supporters converged and either showed their support or disgust for PP. Muskegon is one of the more left-leaning sections of west Michigan, so I wouldn't be too surprised if those fighting against PP were from nearby Ottawa County. Kinda like a Muslim telling a Christian not to buy bacon because it's made from pig parts.

Interestingly enough, the Muskegon PP does NOT do abortions. As a matter of fact, 97% of PP's business isn't even abortion-related. They help with health screenings, birth control and other functions. Muskegon has dealt with high crime and I think a huge part of the problem involves unexpected births and the lack of good sex ed programs and birth control.

I hope PP will be able to find a new spot soon in Muskegon and get back on their feet. People need programs like PP since Repukes want to kill it and make women think that if they're raped, it's their fault.

They want to stop abortion when there's a beating heart. Maybe we oughta kill the Repukes because they have no heart.

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Tuesday, April 16, 2019

4.16.19 Bee-otches of the Day: those who think all death metal is evil

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: thinking that all black metal is bad

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Today, the world is still stunned over the destruction that heavily damaged Notre Dame.

True, the spire and a lot of the roof is gone, but thankfully, many of the artifacts were left intact in Monday's blaze.

Of course, the French have a lot to be thankful for, especially since what happened to Notre Dame is NOTHING compared to the mass destruction that three churches in Louisiana suffered recently.

An arsonist burned down those churches all around Opelousas, Louisiana a few weeks ago. The 21-year-old suspect just happens to be a sheriff's deputy's son. Holden Matthews plead not guilty in court Monday. However, the judge refused to allow him to post bail due to the substantial amount of evidence against him.

On social media, Matthews was an ardent fan of black metal music, namely the works of Varg Vikernes. Vikernes was the sole member of the Norwegian black metal band Burzum, which was known for their ambient sound. In 1993, Varg spent 15 years in prison for murdering a bandmate. He also was charged for burning down several historic churches in Norway. He's also known for his neo-Nazi views and other angry old white man beliefs.

You know black metal, the genre of metal that's more melodic than death metal, which is basically fast guitars mixed in with machine gun drums and a Cookie Monster vocalist. In the minds of the media, if one black metal band is bad, well, they're all bad. It's the way it's been since the days of Elvis swerving his hips and John Lennon proclaiming that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus. Truth best be told, leave it to Donny Osmond to tell us that one bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch.

Or, at least, the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The anti-hate group released an article last week about the church burnings and Vikernes. In the article, they proclaim that there ARE black metal bands that are fighting racism and fascism, though they focus on the ones that push neo-Nazi values.

The sad truth is that even some of the most-respected non-metal artists of all time were racist. Elvis himself reportedly comes to mind. Of course, the world of country had Johnny Rebel, though it appears many other country artists thankfully never shared his views.

The point is that I think metal is good music, though it's never cool to be involved with artists who promote hate in their lyrics. Because, well, Holden Matthews. Maybe if he was a fan of bands that use their music to promote good, those churches would be still standing in Louisiana.

But if those churches' pastors promoted hate themselves, then we'd all be wanting to hear all black metal.

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Monday, April 15, 2019

4.15.19 Bee-otch of the Day: the idiot parents who tossed their son's porn collection

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: the Werking family
Age: ??
Occupation: ??
Last Seen: Grand Haven, MI
Bee-otched For: destroying something sacred

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Today, millions around the world mourned the loss of the Notre Dame, the legendary cathedral in Paris that was scorched in a blaze.

But while the world lost something that has long been seen as sacred, a man has lost something he saw even more sacred: his porn collection.

David Elliot Werking, who formerly lived in Grand Haven, MI is suing his parents in federal court for $86,000 for destroying his porn. The 40-year-old had moved back in with his parents after a divorce. But when he moved to Indiana, his parents shipped back his items, sans his collection of porno DVDs, VHS tapes and sex toys. According to the lawsuit, Werking was forced out his parents' home because of a confrontation between him and his parents.

According to Werking, he valued his collection at about $29,000. He even claimed that some of the movies in his stash were rare and out-of-print. Werking's parents claimed in the suit that they warned their son about his porn addiction and didn't want it in their home. They claimed that he was kicked out of high school and college for distributing porn. In a letter, Werking's father wrote, "Frankly, David, I did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff for you," and "believe it or not, one reason for why I destroyed your porn was for your own mental and emotional health. I would have done the same if I had found a kilo of crack cocaine."

Werking's father also claimed that some of the movies in his son's collection contained bestiality and depicted minors having sex. However, Werking himself claimed that he collection was perfectly legal.

Two of the titles included the 1984 porn classic "Frisky Business" starring porn legend Honey Wilder and "Big Bad Grannys".

Now, I kinda understand that when you live on someone else's property, they have rules. Years ago, I was looking into renting a house whose owners didn't even allow alcohol on their property. I moved on. I'm renting an apartment where even though it's now legal on the state level here in Michigan, they don't allow marijuana.

But the thing is that Mr. Werking (rhymes with "twerking") is entitled to his collection. However, I did wish that he didn't move back in with his 'rents or else his porn would still be intact. After all, this is Grand Haven, after all, an uptight town where people simply don't have a clue.

Honestly, I think most people who don't like porn don't get laid much themselves. True story: I met a woman online who had just gotten a divorce from her ex. According to her, he was addicted to porn. But when I met her at a greasy-ass South American joint on Division Ave. here in GR, I instantly knew why her ex was into porn. She had more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Even more, I found her Facebook profile and her wedding photos were still online. She was a wreck.

The point is, there's a reason porn exists. Some think it's immoral - like the ultra-conservative assholes in Ottawa County where Werking's parents live - but the truth is, it's to help couples have better sex and to help those without a mate have an OK sex life even without using others. If you don't like it, that's your problem. I hope David works his problems out with his parents, though I doubt if he'll get paid $86,000 for that rare copy of "Big Bad Grannys".

I don't think the National Film Registry will preserve "Big Bad Grannys" for being culturally, historically or aesthetically significant. (And BTW, that is the DVD cover for "Frisky Business". I sure as hell wasn't going to post the one for "BBG". Sorry, I have morals.)

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Thursday, April 11, 2019

4.11.19 Bee-otch of the Day: the US government

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.
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Name: the US government
Age: 243
Occupation: our rulers
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: sick time? Whatdis?

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For the first time in years, I skipped a BOTD deadline because of illness.

Yes, there were other reasons for skipping, like me doing stuff that took up a lot of time, or girlfriend problems and so on. But yesterday, I was battling flu-like symptoms. How I supposedly got it is, well, a gross story in itself.

On Monday at my normal job, we had a temp come in to do some packing. Throughout the day, he had Kleenex shoved up his nostrils. To make matters worse, he came over to my department and wanted to hang out with me. Bad decision.

Well, things only got worse when I had to go pee. As I walked over to the men's room faucet to wash my hands, there was a SHIT TON of snot hanging over the spigot. I ended up going to the break room to wash my hands there. I did tell the boss and the next time I went back there, the sink had been cleaned up.

Towards the end of my shift, I got home and I felt like I had to take a wicked dump. Even after I did, I still felt like there was a lot of shit in me. The next day, the pain had spread to all the muscles in my body by the end of my work day. I tried to sleep it off, but by the time the alarm had rung, my stomach was still sore. For the first time in several years, I called in sick. I spent the day taking baths and sucking on chicken soup and Vernor's. I was still in pain by the next day, but I felt well enough to work and eat real food. At least I wasn't puking, nor sneezing or coughing, either.

The sad thing is that my shop, like many others employs temporary workers to do jobs that don't take a plethora of skills to do. My shop pays another firm who in turn hires mainly jobless people who can be trainable on whatever skill is pushed at them. The problem is, is that temps don't get holiday or sick pay, which explains the pile of snot on the men's room faucet at my work.

I know, there's a flu bug going around and even though I got my flu shot this year, I still got it and suffered for it. At least I have paid personal time, which equates to both sick and vacation time. However, temps don't have it as good as me. When they're sick, they have to work, and when they work sick, then we all get sick. Same with part time workers; they have no benefits, so when they get sick, people have to suffer. Look at fast food joints: no benefits or time off, so if one's sick, prepare to eat an infected Big Mac.

The sad shame is that other countries have mandatory sick days and sick leave. Here? Well, if you die on the job, sucks to be you.

I think having time off work if needed isn't just a perk, but it should be a human right. Temp agencies can be nice, but after seeing what happened on Monday at work and its potential consequences, I would never want to work for one unless my life depended on it. If you're a snot factory, you need to see a doctor, but since temps probably don't have it, they're screwed.

And if they're screwed, we're all going to face an epidemic, like the one recently created by Dr. Jenny McCarthy.

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Tuesday, April 9, 2019

4.9.19 Bee-och of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 72
Occupation: daddy's boy
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: having 12 holes to fill

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The sad reality of the people who voted Drumpf in as president is that they wanted a businessman running the country.

Well, they got it.

It's been announced that Kirstjen Nielsen will be stepping down as the head of Department of Homeland Security effective tomorrow. Drumpf did not appreciate Nielsen's handling of the department, since the cages of Mexican children at the border aren't full enough.

Now, there's 12 seats in the Drumpf administration that are empty. One of the most-recent offices was the Small Business Administration, held by former WWE executive Linda McMahon. I guess her job was to buy out all the small businesses and merge them all together, like her husband Vince did in the 1980s with all the territorial promotions he bought out.

There's a reason for the mass exodus, IMHO: Anybody who serves in Drumpf's administration is supposed to be his puppet. If he or she chooses not to and goes against his rhetoric, they're done. Maybe this is why Barr is busy blacking out chunks of Mueller's findings on him, it's to make Drumpf look good.

You know, it's sad when you're given a title at work and you end up being the boss's puppet. Look at radio station programming directors. I've seen many get canned because they know what they're doing, but station management doesn't think so. This is why radio stations fail and once the listener is alienated, they might be gone for good *COUGHKLQCOUGH*

With a 39% approval rating, there's a reason why people hate Drumpf. I'll betcha that if he's reelected, what happened in 2008 will be a cakewalk. 2020 can't come soon enough.

Drumpf needs to see steel, not Mexican kids.

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Monday, April 8, 2019

4.8.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Christopher Ilitch

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.
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Name: Christopher Ilitch
Age: 53
Occupation: daddy's boy
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: repeating the same mistakes

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Once upon a time, the words "April in the D" meant something.

It was that time of year the Red Wings were prepping to make the playoffs and maybe, just maybe, the Pistons. Also, it's the beginning of the baseball season and in the past several years, the Tigers have had their good, bad and very ugly.

Now, the Pistons need to win their next two games to make it into the playoffs. But at least the Tigers are off to a strong 7-3 start. The Red Wings, on the other hand, will be hitting the links somewhere in Northern Michigan.

And the sad thing is that the man who led the Red Wings to its worst seasons in years will be staying in Motown for two more seasons. Jeff Blashill signed a deal with the team last week to remain as their head coach. Meanwhile, the team's shitty goalie, Jimmy Howard recently signed a one-year contract extension.

The team's season came to an end Saturday with a 7-1 loss to the Buffalo Sabres. Their year-end record was 32-40-10 and 74 points, just one more point from last year. The Wings' last winning season was 2016; it was also the last year the team made the NHL playoffs.

To many Wings fans like myself, it's a shame of what the team has purely became, which is a shadow of itself. When Mike Ilitch bought the team in 1982, he worked feverishly to return the team to its glory days. In 1997, he was rewarded dearly with the team's first Stanley Cup since 1955.

Sadly, those days of Yzerman, Fedorov, Osgood, Shanahan and a whole bunch of Russians whose names are hard to spell are like Ernie Harwell calling a homerun: long gone. Joe Louis Arena is prepping for demolition while like The Joe when it first opened 40 years ago, Little Caesars Arena is having issues filling seats.

I always wonder why Detroit teams are loving to make mistakes these days. After all, Chris Ilitch also owns the Tigers and lord only knows how long their .700 record will last. After all, they're playing the Indians this week. It is still very early in the baseball season. Don't even get me started on the Ford family and the Lions, who think that turning them into Patriots west will work out with a shitty QB like Matt Stafford. At least as far as we know, Martha Ford has never visited an Asian massage parlor.

At least the Pistons still have a chance to make it to the playoffs if they win the last two games of the season. It seems that Tom Gores is the only owner in Detroit adamant about rebuilding a sports franchise. His coach was an ex NBA Coach of the Year and Blake Griffin has done wonders for the team.

Now, if the Tigers actually make the playoffs at the end of the season, then prove me wrong. Maybe Chris Ilitch has what it takes to take his teams to the next level. I do wonder if he's trying to unload either team or both to another Detroit billionaire, namely Dan Gilbert. I wouldn't doubt it, but when Detroit has four teams that were under .500 last year, the fans are the ones who want change.

And if the Red Wings want change for now, maybe Chris needs to sell more Hot 'N Ready pizzas.

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Thursday, April 4, 2019

4.4.19 Bee-otch of the Day: World Wrestling Entertainment

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: World Wrestling Entertainment
Age: 67
Occupation: "sports" organization
Last Seen: Stamford, CT
Bee-otched For: getting owned by Jon Oliver

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This weekend, millions around the world will be glued to Wrestlemania.

The yearly event will have a first: the main event will be a women's match. It proves how dominant females have become in a sport dominated by men for decades, if not, centuries.

It's no secret that the WWE has changed a lot since Vince McMahon bought his father's regional wrestling league in 1984. He broke his father's promise by buying out all the small regional circuits and merging them all together. True, Vinnie Mac had major competition in WCW, which he eventually bought from Time Warner. Now, it's WWE, TNA, ROH and the upstart AEW, which has WWE legends Chris Jericho, Jim Ross and Cody Rhodes on their roster.

But on Sunday, the WWE was the victim of a besmirching from HBO's Jon Oliver.

On his show Last Week Tonight, he talked about how the WWE is a multi-billion-dollar corporation and yet their wrestlers are "independent contractors" and have to pay for their own benefits like health insurance. WWE wrestlers are notorious for the fact that the average wrestler dies younger than the average human being. A large part of it's because WWE wrestlers are on the road 200 days a year, performing stunts that are not designed to be tolerable by the human body. These wrestlers end up hooked on opiates and some have no retirement, so they have no choice but to wrestle well into what should be their retirement years.

Of course, many a wrestler have all died from drug issues, like Eddie Guerrero and most-notoriously, Chris Benoit, whom Oliver didn't mention in his story.

A day after Oliver's story, a rep for the WWE released a statement that read, "John Oliver is clearly a clever and humorous entertainer, however the subject matter covered in his WWE segment is no laughing matter. Prior to airing, WWE responded to his producers refuting every point in his one-sided presentation. John Oliver simply ignored the facts." The statement continues with, "The health and wellness of our performers is the single most important aspect of our business, and we have a comprehensive, longstanding Talent Wellness program. We invite John Oliver to attend WrestleMania this Sunday to learn more about our company."

Awww, how sweet of the WWE to invite Oliver over to Wrestlemania 35, which is going to be at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey this year. Maybe if I bash my BOTDs harder, I'll get more freebies! Well, anyway, Oliver I agreed hit the nail on the head regarding McMahon and how he has long treated his own talent. True, I think that Last Week Tonight mostly showed Attitude era clips of WWE - back when chair shots, crashing through flaming tables and women in bra and panties matches were OK - as opposed to the current TV-PG era of material, but my thoughts still stand. It's a shame when a fallen wrestler has to ask his fans to help pay for medical expenses while Vince lives off of his images.

Vince is also pals with Drumpf. Does that say a lot?

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Wednesday, April 3, 2019

4.3.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 61
Occupation: ex(thank God)-governor
Last Seen: Ann Arbor, MI
Bee-otched For: getting pwnt by a judge

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Even though he left the governor's office in January, Rick Snyder still has a huge mess to clean up.

And a judge has said that yes, he must clean it.

Judge Judith Levy ruled that the former governor can be sued by Flint residents who have been affected by the town's water crisis. She proclaimed that Snyder did nothing as tainted water was releasing lead from Flint's aging water pipes. As residents were being exposed to lead poisoning, their constitutional right to bodily integrity was being taken away.

In happier news, Attorney General Dana Nessel has shut down another potential worry for Michigan: a new Straits pipeline to replace Line 5. Snyder approved it, which makes sense given the disaster he left Flint.

Folks, pRick Snyder can afford to pay off the people of Flint. He's got $200 million in the bank. I'll betcha he's also living off of the money he made off of the sale of Gateway when he ran that company into the ground years ago. I hope he loses his ass for poisoning these poor souls and selling his in the name of saving a quick buck.

And maybe *IF* he has money left over, he can use it to fix the damn roads. Fuck Whitmer's 45 cent gas tax.

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Tuesday, April 2, 2019

4.2.19 Bee-otch of the Day: John Gray

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: John Gray
Age: 45
Occupation: grifter
Last Seen: Greenville, NC
Bee-otched For: being rich and asking for too much

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As Jesus said to the rich man, "it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven".

Of course, the wealthy think they have the technology to take a camel, kill it, puree it and use a funnel with a tiny hole to drain it through a needle.

Well, John Gray thinks so. A few months ago, the megachurch pastor raised eyebrows when he bought his wife a $200,000 Lamborghini Urus for their wedding anniversary. He claimed that he paid for the luxury SUV with money he made off of his show on the Oprah Winfrey Network.

Now, he needs even more money.

Last week, Gray announced that he wants $250,000 from his parishioners to fix a leaky roof at his Relentless Church in Greenville, South Carolina. He then coughed that the church has millions of dollars in debt, which Gray claimed that he acquired from the church's former pastor.

Oooooo.....Keeeeeeeeeyyyyyy..... And your wife is tooling around in a car the average simpleton can't afford?

Ya know, this is why I cringe at megachurches. Many of them will cry that they always need too much money and yet, their pastor drives nicer cars than you, lives in bigger houses than you and pay lower taxes than... you know who. It's sad when you claim that you're in debt and you buy a fuckin' Lambo to please your wife. And you put the burden on your flock?

Folks, if you go to a megachurch, do your research. If the pastor makes too much money, find another church or even stay home. When I was a teen, I went to a church in northern Michigan that asked their parishioners for $1.7 million on just one Sunday. Because of this, I didn't go to another church for years. No church should EVER force their people for too much money when their pastor lives a lavish life.

Nobody should ever put a price on faith.

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Monday, April 1, 2019

4.1.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 72
Occupation: slumlord
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: turning Grand Rapids into a hellhole

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With today being April Fools Day, I wish the whole idea with Drumpf being the de facto president didn't exist.

But sadly, he just had to come to my hometown on Thursday.

He landed at the airport named after a man who never won the popular vote and was still made president. He started his speech at Van Andel Arena s little after 7pm and lied his ass off in front of 10,000 or so lunatics, some of whom all dressed in white to look like KKK members. He did his little song and dance, promising that he'll fund the Great Lakes and restore funding to the Special Olympics.

Meanwhile, chaos ensued when Drumpf supporters walked by the Mel Trotter homeless shelter and humiliated their people. They were slut-shaming young mothers and their children and using racial slurs in front of them. Mentally ill folks were bullied and so on.

But right across the state in Detroit, the Pistons had their Pride Night. At halftime, a troupe of LGBTQ dancers strutted their stuff to their anthems like "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga and RuPaul's "Supermodel". To add insult to injury, the Pistons beat their opponent that night, the Orlando Magic. The Pistons are now 39-37 and sixth place in the Eastern division while the Magic is struggling to get above a .500.

Oh, and guess who owns the Magic? The Devos family, who spent millions of their fortune on trying to make gay marriage illegal. Let's not forget that their beloved in-law is none other than Betsy Devos herself.

A lot of people will cry that Grand Rapids is a better town than Detroit. When people think "Detroit", they think of dilapidated buildings and an onslaught of black people who want to kill the white man. Grand Rapids is more-lily-white than Detroit, but then again, a lot of it's because of its huge Dutch heritage. But sadly, many of those Dutch are also Republican, and in 2016, it explains why nearby Ottawa County was one of the biggest Drumpf strangleholds in the country. The sad truth is that the Dutch population has long spat in the faces of the poor and the homeless. It also explains why they also read from one form or another of the King James Bible instead of a more accurate translation of the Holy Word, like the NRSV Bible, which is less promoting of bigotry.

Maybe the best word had to come from this week's Letters section in the Traverse City Northern Express. Rev. Stephen B. Thompson really hit the nail on the head on who Jesus really was. I agreed with his letter 100%. If the Drumpfters really knew what he's really up to, they wouldn't have voted for him. Shame on those who thought it was OK to bash those who are less fortunate. If I was rich, I would definitely use some of my money to help them since at times during my years making an unlivable wage, I could have needed the help, too.

2020 sure can't come soon enough.

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