Name: the Werking family
Age: ??
Occupation: ??
Last Seen: Grand Haven, MI
Bee-otched For: destroying something sacred
-Age: ??
Occupation: ??
Last Seen: Grand Haven, MI
Bee-otched For: destroying something sacred
Today, millions around the world mourned the loss of the Notre Dame, the legendary cathedral in Paris that was scorched in a blaze.
But while the world lost something that has long been seen as sacred, a man has lost something he saw even more sacred: his porn collection.
David Elliot Werking, who formerly lived in Grand Haven, MI is suing his parents in federal court for $86,000 for destroying his porn. The 40-year-old had moved back in with his parents after a divorce. But when he moved to Indiana, his parents shipped back his items, sans his collection of porno DVDs, VHS tapes and sex toys. According to the lawsuit, Werking was forced out his parents' home because of a confrontation between him and his parents.
According to Werking, he valued his collection at about $29,000. He even claimed that some of the movies in his stash were rare and out-of-print. Werking's parents claimed in the suit that they warned their son about his porn addiction and didn't want it in their home. They claimed that he was kicked out of high school and college for distributing porn. In a letter, Werking's father wrote, "Frankly, David, I did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff for you," and "believe it or not, one reason for why I destroyed your porn was for your own mental and emotional health. I would have done the same if I had found a kilo of crack cocaine."
Werking's father also claimed that some of the movies in his son's collection contained bestiality and depicted minors having sex. However, Werking himself claimed that he collection was perfectly legal.
Two of the titles included the 1984 porn classic "Frisky Business" starring porn legend Honey Wilder and "Big Bad Grannys".
Now, I kinda understand that when you live on someone else's property, they have rules. Years ago, I was looking into renting a house whose owners didn't even allow alcohol on their property. I moved on. I'm renting an apartment where even though it's now legal on the state level here in Michigan, they don't allow marijuana.
But the thing is that Mr. Werking (rhymes with "twerking") is entitled to his collection. However, I did wish that he didn't move back in with his 'rents or else his porn would still be intact. After all, this is Grand Haven, after all, an uptight town where people simply don't have a clue.
Honestly, I think most people who don't like porn don't get laid much themselves. True story: I met a woman online who had just gotten a divorce from her ex. According to her, he was addicted to porn. But when I met her at a greasy-ass South American joint on Division Ave. here in GR, I instantly knew why her ex was into porn. She had more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Even more, I found her Facebook profile and her wedding photos were still online. She was a wreck.
The point is, there's a reason porn exists. Some think it's immoral - like the ultra-conservative assholes in Ottawa County where Werking's parents live - but the truth is, it's to help couples have better sex and to help those without a mate have an OK sex life even without using others. If you don't like it, that's your problem. I hope David works his problems out with his parents, though I doubt if he'll get paid $86,000 for that rare copy of "Big Bad Grannys".
I don't think the National Film Registry will preserve "Big Bad Grannys" for being culturally, historically or aesthetically significant. (And BTW, that is the DVD cover for "Frisky Business". I sure as hell wasn't going to post the one for "BBG". Sorry, I have morals.)
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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