Bee-otch of the Day

Thursday, May 7, 2020

5.7.20 Bee-otches of the Day: Michigan Republicans

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Names: Michigan Republicans
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: Michigan
Bee-otched For: being the reason why they're so goddamned stupid regarding COVID-19

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Not a day goes by that we're lucky to have "that woman from Michigan" as our governor.

I know. I didn't vote for Gretchen Whitmer. She's too centralist. Hell, her ass got reamed for wanting to raise gas taxes. She needed to think of other ways to fix the damn roads. But, since she's long-rumored to be on Joe Biden's list for a veep...

Just today, Whitmer announced that she's extending her stay-at-home order to May 28. True, everybody's Memorial Day plans are now shot, but anything to fight COVID-19.

However, with the recent protests from hate groups carrying guns and Confederate flags, the Republican-led house and senate are trying to tell the Governor that she better open up now. Yesterday, the legislators filed a lawsuit against Whitmer, claiming that she needed approval from the state house and senate before passing her stay-at-home edict instead of her handing out Executive Orders. One of the people behind the suit is house speaker Lee Chatfield, a Repuke from Levering, a tiny town of 215 that's only about 12 miles south of the Mackinac Bridge. Chatfield, a graduate of (barf) Liberty University is the son of a preacher, Rusty Chatfield. His church, Northern Michigan Baptist Bible Church is one of several churches suing the Governor because he feels that her orders are unconstitutional.

Even though Michigan is a blue state, it does have a lot of vastly-rural territories whose sole residents are conservative Repukes. The area where Chatfield lives in northern Michigan has long been a stronghold for the Rethuglican Party. As a matter of fact, one of the towns in Chatfield's district, Alanson is the home of the Michigan Militia, founded by Norm Olson, an Air Force vet and like Chatfield's father, a Baptist minister. When Bill Clinton announced that he wanted to toughen gun laws in the 1990s, he formed the Militia as a response. He's made many claims, such as Oklahoma City bomber Terry Nichols attending his meetings and that Japan carried out the bombings as a retaliation for a Sarin Gas attack on a Tokyo subway.

Tragically, it seems that the more-northern you get in the Lower Peninsula, the crazier people are. But, when you're miles from civilization, you end up getting strange signals in your tinfoil hat.

Now, I hate most country music with a passion. But, when Natalie Maines from the Dixie Chicks told an audience in England that she's ashamed to be from the same state George W. Bush was also from, I felt her pain. Just recently, I learned that I grew up in the same neighborhood as the current home of one of the most-notorious right-winged scumbags in northern Michigan: "Trucker Randy" Bishop. The 62-year-old from near Torch Lake is the host of Your Defending Fathers, a daily, three-hour talk radio show that airs on WCHY-FM 97.7 out of Cheboygan, a station that's owned by his wife, Victoria, who is 12 years older than he is. Not only that, WCHY, a 3,000-watt station that's 80 miles from Bishop's house isn't even receivable in Torch Lake in part due to co-channel interference from boomer rock stalwart WKLT 97.5 (I guess they're useful for something after all). As a matter of fact, the station just started a GoFundMe to install a new transmitter. In two months, the station has only raised a pitiful $110 out of $50,000 they want raised. Funny, because that station has only been on the air for nine years.

Anyway, what makes Bishop a total kook is that he's a twice-convicted felon.

Over 20 years ago, Trucker Randy was charged with not paying his taxes. He made bad business deals involving his construction business that cost him his licenses in Macomb County. As a result, he moved to Antrim County where he became the leader of their GOP. He also started Your Defending Fathers with Brian Sommerfield, a financial and tax consultant from Petoskey. The two (along with Victoria since the FCC does not allow convicted felons to own radio stations) started up WYPV 106.3 in Onaway, whose call letters stand for "We're Your Patriot Voice". The station moved to 94.5 Mackinaw City and 93.9 Mio as part of a deal with Del Reynolds so he could buy Northern Star Broadcasting several years ago (106.3 is now soft AC "Mac FM"). They sold off 93.9 not long afterward to a religious group and 94.5 was eventually sold to John Yob to extend his WJML empire. I heard WYPV several times, and when I did, I heard not many commercials. At one time, Your Defending Fathers was syndicated to Ann Arbor's WAAM 1600, a station owned by another wacko, Terry "Thayrone X" Hughes.

Oh, and Thayrone donated $10 to the WCHY transmitter fund.

In November, the Bishops bought WCHY from David Smith, who was running a classic country format called Straits Country 97.7 for $75,000. As a result, Your Defending Fathers was relaunched on the station, which carries his show from 9a-Noon and the statewide Steve Gruber Show mornings. The rest of the time, the station carries a 60s-70s oldies format. What's funny is that the station proclaims Motown as part of their routine. It reminds me of when I worked at a convenience store years ago and they only sold Zig-Zags by the tobacco products. I think saying "Motown" (or as they call it "MoTown") on their website only to show that they're not a bunch of racist assholes.

And sadly, even Trucker Randy himself is flapping his arms, crying that the sky is falling. On his show, he recently proclaimed that Dr. Anthony Fauci and Bill Gates should go to prison because of a fake news story that the two planned COVID-19. He's also a proud supporter of getting Gov. Whitmer sued because of her E.O.s.

Folks, I'm going to get a little controversial here. I think a lot of the reasons why people move to northern Michigan in the first place is because they're from Detroit and they hate black people. My parents were from the Detroit area. My mom's from Redford and dad's from Troy. As a matter of fact, my mom told me that she was only blocks away from the 1967 riots. When they married in 1976, their first apartment was an upper flat in Detroit with a black family in the lower floor. A year later, they were both laid off from their jobs. They ended up in northern Michigan because my father's cousin's family was from there and they owned a farm. He came to Detroit in a U-Haul and they moved them up to an area near Elk Rapids. Growing up, my parents struggled to stay in the middle class. My father was the breadwinner because he had the same bus driving job for 23 years. However, he had to work on a cherry farm every summer since it wasn't full-time. Mom had a myriad of jobs since she lost her secretary job at a tool-and-die plant because of Reaganomics. She's worked at a gas station, cleaned houses, worked in a factory and so on.

But, when I grew up and moved to Grand Rapids, I ended up with a job that's full-time, year-round. Business is good, though we've had a rough patch because of COVID-19. To be quite honest, I'd rather be here than up there. At least I can pay my bills on time, I don't have a long drive to the grocery store or gas station and there's more younger people. Growing up, there wasn't much to do in Traverse City. It seemed that you had to be 21 to do anything. Here in Grand Rapids, there's lots for kids to do and even us grown-ups. Traditionally, once you graduated high school up north, you end up south of US-10 anyway because downstate Michigan has what northern Michigan doesn't: universities.

You see, I read shit from northern Michiganders all the time on social media, like "DETROIT'S A HELLHOLE!" Well, so are parts of northern Michigan. Ever seen downtown Kalkaska as of late? Lots of For Sale/Rent signs. I've been in a trailer in Mancelona with another trailer in its backyard with its roof caved in. On my father's bus route, he picked up white trash so poor that our elementary school principal had to buy the kids clothes. Plus, there's the issue of food deserts where there's areas without a proper grocery store. In northern Michigan, there's areas where there's not a grocery store for 10 or even 20 miles! Manton hasn't had a grocery store since Harrison's shuttered over 20 years ago. Lake City used to have a Carter's and a locally-owned Foster's which closed last year. Hell, ELLSWORTH has no place even to buy milk or bread, especially since the town gas station is a farmers' co-op.

Look, my mom was married to a prick who was obsessed with right-winged bullshit and so was his family. Apparently, you weren't one of them unless you were a Christian conservative. Funny, since his older brother slept with a prostitute, got chlamydia and gave his wife scleroderma as a result. Not to mention that getting busted with a DUI was a family trait. Now, my mother's boyfriend just happens to be African American, and he's a better human being than my mom's ex.

The point is that many - but not all - of northern Michigan is inhabited by stupid yokels. And to make matters worse, I'm ashamed that my current hometown of Grand Rapids is the home of the Devos family, part of the reason why all this COVID-19 shit is going on. They helped to get Drumpf elected, they helped fund the strikes in front of the State Capitol and Whitmer's house and now as education secretary, Betsy Devos is making it tougher to convict assholes charged with on-campus rape.

But then again, the Devos clan has their tentacles on northern Michigan, too. They have Fox Motors dealerships in several cities like Traverse City, Cadillac and Charlevoix, where they control all of that town's new car sales. They even helped to fund the reopening of the non-profit Lyric Theatre in Harbor Springs a few years ago.

The point is that because of these rural jackasses, the whole state gets stuck with people like Lee Chatfield, who by the way was charged over $2,000 for trying to take an unregistered handgun onto an airplane two years ago. But since some of these people probably are stuck up there because they averaged a D- in high school, well, this is what happens. They vote Repuke because they think that those nasty, big city Dems are going to give all their tax money to those niggers in Detroit who sit on their asses, watching judge shows all day while whitey works. Of course, John James is an exception because he acts white.

In the long run, Gretchen Whitmer will win, and the real people of Michigan will thank her in the end. If these Rethugs want to "peacefully assemble" without masks during the pandemic, well, I got news for you: when you're six feet under, your rights are long gone.

But at least your tin foil hat will live on.

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Wednesday, May 6, 2020

5.6.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Meritage Hospitality Group

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Meritage Hospitality Group
Age: ??
Occupation: restaurant owner
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: not knowing where the beef is

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From a distance, I hear Dave Thomas spinning in his grave.

Despite being illiterate most of his life, he worked his ass off to make Wendy's the restaurants they are now. Part of their success is attributed to their infamous "Where's the Beef?" commercial from nearly four decades ago.

Dave's been dead for 18 years now, but his legacy lives on, one Baconator at a time. It's just too bad that some of his restaurants are owned by assholes.

Recently, it was announced that a Grand Rapids-based company that owns over 330 restaurants in 16 states accepted $29 million in the Paycheck Protection Program. Meritage Hospitality Group is a publicly-traded company that made $13 million in profit last year. Its CEO, Robert Schermer made nearly $2 million last year.

Because Wendy's is an essential business that makes a chunk of their profit from drive-thru service, most of their locations are still open, including 329 Meritage O&Os. However, Meritage owns several non-franchised restaurants which are closed during the pandemic: Morning Belle in Grand Rapids, Freighters in Port Huron, Wheelhouse in Grand Rapids and two Twisted Roosters in the Detroit area. Only their Stan Diego restaurant in Walker is still open with curbside and to-go orders only.

Now, many Meritage employees are stepping up to claim that the company is cheating them out of their PPP pay.

A waitress at Freighters told Grand Rapids' WOOD-TV's Heather Walker that she has not seen one penny of the company's $29 million loan from the government. Stephanie Chavez is a single mother of three who has even tried to file for unemployment. Since she only made $5,000 last year before tips, she was denied unemployment. With tips, she made over $20,000. Meritage also claimed that 137 other employees have that same problem.

The PPP loans were supposed to cover small businesses. A company that owns several hundred Wendy's, rakes in over $13 million in profit yearly and has a CEO that rakes in $2 million in salary is NOT a small business. What's even worse is that recently, three major restaurant chains, Ruth's Chris, Shake Shack and sub shop Potbelly all accepted PPP loans. They all paid back their loans under scrutiny. I work for a small company that got a PPP loan. Even though I don't have a lot of work, I'm still employed because of this loan. My boss told me that in order to accept the loan, they had to keep 95% employment. Granted, I would make more money unemployed. But, my mother was recently furloughed and has not seen one dime of unemployment money. I've heard of scores of people who have not seen a paycheck since the pandemic started. Working during the pandemic sucks. But, I'm still getting paid for 40 hours despite only working when I have work.

But now, karma is hitting Meritage extremely hard. And customers are definitely yelling, "Where's the Beef?"

Wendy's just announced that because of our nation's beef shortage, some 1,000 of their locations do not have beef at the moment. And yes, that means locations owned by Meritage. Granted, part of the problem is linked to shuttered meat processing plants whose employees ended up infected with COVID-19. I was at Costco today and the only steaks they sold were two tiny packages of two ribeyes for a pitiful $40 each package. However, there was plenty of pork ribs and roasts and even lamb.

The sad reality is that because of the conditions meat processing plants possess, we should simply stray away from fresh meat for a while until the virus runs its course. Less demand for steaks translate into lower prices and less animals being killed and slaughtered. Since the pandemic began, I have not seen any disinfectant wipes at Costco, and only within the past few weeks they started selling one brand of toilet paper: Charmin.

It's a shame that we have people like Stephanie Chavez who live paycheck to paycheck while her CEO boss won't be losing sleep tonight. Because of his *ahem* Frosty attitude by making his lawyer talk for him, it shows how not-so-down-to-Earth he and his company are. Then again, Wendy's is owned by Republicans, which says a lot about the company's culture.

Personally, this is a good time to boycott Wendy's and Meritage for treating their employees this way. It also makes me a little happier that I don't work in the restaurant business and don't plan to ever again. It's simply a business where there's no real security and where the only people making decent money are the bosses making $2 million per year, like Robert Schermer.

Here's an idea: when America finally opens up again, we need to support true, local, family-run businesses. It's a shame that many small businesses won't get PPP loans and will have to shutter in the long run. Meritage employees deserve much better than to be thrown under the bus because of irresponsible management.

Where's the Beef? How about SHOW ME THE MONEY!

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Tuesday, May 5, 2020

5.5.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Democratic National Committee

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Democratic National Committee
Age: 172
Occupation: the reason why we can't have nice things
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: Joe Biden's one of us? He's innocent

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Today, I should have been at Van Andel Arena here in Grand Rapids to see Tool.

Before the concert, I should have been at a Mexican restaurant enjoying a burrito and a margarita to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

But thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, Maynard and Co. had to postpone their tour. At least I had Qdoba tonight.

I know, it sucks. Staying home as much as humanly possible blows. But, it's the golden rule since I sure as hell don't want the 'rona, and neither do you.

Yes, we're sitting here pointing fingers again. It's Drumpf's fault because he dismantled Obama's prevention staff before the pandemic hit. Of course, the right thinks that there's no pandemic to speak of like an anti-Semite believing that the Holocaust never happened. Because of the false accusations spread about COVID-19 by the right-winged pricks who REALLY run the media, we end up with militia morons storming Michigan's State Capitol like they did last week.

But, there's a very good reason why we have Drumpf in office. And yes, it's the Democrats' fault.

Long before the days of cable and internet, most people watched television through an antenna on top of their homes. If you lived in a major city, you were blessed with maybe four TV stations. Smaller towns only had two and in some cases, one. When a town only had two TV stations but three major networks, one station carried CBS, another carried NBC and both shoehorned in a few shows here and there from ABC since they were the last place network. However, there were some dual-station markets were ABC was given carte blanche, and in the case of one major city, it fucked over The Beatles.

And that city was Birmingham, Alabama.

Despite being Alabama's biggest TV market, Birmingham only had two TV stations in 1964: WBRC-TV 6 and WAPI-TV 13. To make an extremely long story short, WBRC and WAPI had a similar arrangement like most small markets had: Channel 6 was CBS, 13 NBC and both had a few shows here and there from ABC. However, in 1961, WBRC, which was sold to Taft Television and Radio a few years earlier signed a full affiliation agreement with ABC. Taft was in good standing with the Alphabet Network and many of their stations - like Cincinnati's WKRC - were ABC affiliates. As a result, WAPI - then owned by the Newhouse family, which sadly owns my local newspaper The Grand Rapids Press - signed an agreement to bring as many shows CBS and NBC aired. However, WAPI did favor NBC slightly over CBS. As a result, many popular CBS programs weren't cleared in Birmingham, such as CBS Evening News With Walter Cronkite and yes, The Ed Sullivan Show. When The Beatles appeared on Sullivan in that fateful February in 1964, no TV station in Birmingham carried it. Instead, Birmingham Beatle fans had to try to find another CBS station elsewhere to watch the show. The other option was to suffer through two short-lived programs: ABC's Arrest and Trial and NBC's Grindl starring Imogene Coca.

Thankfully, just a year after the Birmingham market stifled Beatle fans, WBMG Channel 42 signed on. Because it was a UHF station (and most TV sets didn't have UHF back then), they ended up carrying the shows rejected by 13, including the aforementioned Cronkite and Sullivan, plus The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. In 1970, the FCC finally ruled that if there were three network TV stations in one market, one had to choose one network only. WBRC-6 stayed with ABC while WAPI-13 went with NBC and WBMG-42 went CBS.

Sadly, the two-party system in America is just like the Beatles situation in Birmingham.

Traditionally, the Democrats were liberal/progressive while the Republicans were conservative. But thanks to people like Reagan lowering taxes for the 1% back in the 1980s, more money has been pumped into politics. And yes, don't get me started on how he fucked over the Fairness Doctrine in 1987, allowing assholes like Rush Limbaugh to spread their vitriol onto the masses. Since I was born, we've only had two Democrats as president and none of them were real progressives. Why? $$$. Most Americans chose Bernie Sanders as their Democratic candidate in 2016. Yet, thanks to Debbie Wassermann Schultz and her threats to the superdelegates, the fix was in. Instead of a candidate that wasn't a sellout like Bernie, Americans were force-fed Hillary Clinton. The end result? You guessed it: Drumpf got to become president and now, we're having to stay home because of this fucking virus.

Now, the Democratic National Committee is in another kerfuffle over the fact that they simply don't want to investigate Joe Biden because of Tara Reade's sexual assault allegations against him. Chairman Tom Perez is comparing the allegations to Hillary Clinton's emails from several years ago. Granted, the Repukes and progressives like me both can agree on something for once, and it's that we both think that Joe Biden is, well, weird.

True, he's already been endorsed by both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, plus his ex-boss, Barack Obama. With the presidential election only months away, IF Biden is guilty, that means one thing, and one thing only: the DNC will have to give Bernie their blessing and it won't be good news for the world's billionaires.

Folks, when will the DNC learn? When will people learn? For the past several elections, the mantra has been that if you don't vote for the Democrat, shit will happen. In 2000, it was either a fake environmentalist and an asshole who wanted Howard Stern and Jerry Springer off the air vs. the drunk Texan whose ignorance caused 3,000 people to die on 9/11 and 4,500 more in all the fake wars he started. Yet, he got re-elected in 2004. When he left the White House in 2008, we had our worst recession since the Great Depression. When Obama ran for president, he acted like a progressive, but he wasn't. True, Obamacare has helped many, but it's still a kiss on the ass on the porked-up healthcare industry. The fact that he took a fake sip of water like a cunnilingus scene in a Skinemax movie in Flint, Michigan instead of slapping handcuffs on pRick Snyder shows that he's a coward to that respect.

Now, the mantra is that if you don't vote for Biden in November, it's another four years for Drumpf and by 2024, America will be a wasteland. This country will be just like it was in the early 30s when dinner consisted of ketchup in hot, boiling water instead of Tomato Soup. Because of the DNC and their wealthy donors, the thought of having a true progressive in the White House is becoming more and more of a pipe dream. Like Sullivan was in Birmingham in the 1960s, real progressives are being demoted to a lowly, fringe signal (and to this day, Channel 42 in Birmingham is still CBS and still has horrid ratings). In the case for progressives, it's the Green Party. Of course, no third party candidate has ever been elected president and the only time the media talks about them, they pair them with the other fringe candidates like the Libertarians and whatever party Roseanne Barr was with when she ran for president some years ago. It's like people who think that all black people are bad. The reality is that the Green Party is simply the party that has a lot of the same visions Franklin D. Roosevelt had 90 years ago for America. However, that voice that yells "Chuck! A vote for the Green Party is a vote for Drumpf! Vote blue no matter who!" Sorry, but I'd rather vote for somebody whose values are right for America instead of somebody who's just as bad is the other guy. If Biden gets elected, fine. But, if Drumpf gets reelected, if I were the DNC, I would have no choice but to start listening to people instead of their billionaire masters.

As for Tara Reade, here's an idea: she needs to take a lie detector test. If she passes, Biden's fucked. Trust me. I've seen enough episodes of The Steve Wilkos Show to know that they're very accurate.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

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Monday, May 4, 2020

5.4.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 73
Occupation: Cheeto
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: awarding failure

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Only in America do people who do bad shit get their asses kissed. Yet, the people who are trying to make life better get spat on.

Last Thursday, another example of stupidity was performed on the steps of Michigan's Capital building. Dozens of assholes with their swastikas, Nazi signs and Gadsden Flags stormed the Capitol demanding that Governor Gretchen Whitmer reopen the State of Michigan. Since March 16, the Mitten has been under a stay-at-home order per the Governor and non-essential businesses are to remain closed until May 28th.

Whitmer's current stay-at-home edict will be lifted May 15th, though it's expected to continue since hundreds of people are still being diagnosed with the virus daily. As of today, over 4,000 people have died from COVID-19.

But still, the crybabies doing their - in the great words of Cecily Strong - Ted Nugent cosplay inside the State Capitol kinda makes us look bad.

And the tragedy is, is that Drumpf lovingly calls them "very good people".

Yes, the same Drumpf who called Colin Kaepernick a "son of a bitch" for kneeling during the National Anthem.

Folks, I was home Thursday watching the melee as it happened live on WOOD-TV here in Grand Rapids. Tragically, it was their reporter on the scene, Leon Hendrix (no word on if he's related to Jimi) who was one of the very few African Americans in the Capitol as the travesty was going on. Clearly, I wouldn't be too damn surprised if none of the protesters came from a major city here in Michigan, especially Detroit. Hell, I think that many of the protesters came from (sigh) my original neck of the woods in northern Michigan.

The protest was masterminded by Michigan United For Liberty, who organized other rallies at the Capitol and in front of Whitmer's home. The group is headed by Dr. Jennifer Darling, a chiropractor who lives in Ann Arbor. Yes, a doctor whom I hope gets a COVID patient in front of her so she'll learn that her health is a trillion times more important than her personal freedoms.

Oh, and guess who's been funding many of these protests? Why, it's the Devos family! After all, they're probably losing a lot of money from the stay-at-home order. They own the Fox Motors family of car dealerships, and since nobody wants to buy a vehicle they can't test drive, sales are probably in the shitter. They own Grand Rapids' minor league hockey team, the Griffins. With the pandemic, Van Andel Arena sits empty.

The reality is simple: the protesters are probably crying that the only people in Michigan getting COVID-19 are the blacks in Detroit. It's true that Wayne County has over 17,000 cases of COVID, which is more people than the entire population of Traverse City. It has killed over 1,900 people so far. A lot of the protesters are probably bitching that just because the blacks are getting it and dying from it means that they're safe. They're not. COVID's victims are almost a 50/50 split of men and women. Even though most people who die from the disease are in their 50s, the majority of its victims are indeed those aged 40 to 70. In terms of race, COVID's victims in Michigan are almost a split between whites and blacks.

The protesters who all cry to lock Whitmer up and love to call her Karen are stupid, plain and simple. They all worship Drumpf, an asshole who totally ignored the warning signs of COVID-19. Over 1.2 million cases and over 69,000 deaths later, it's pitiful to know that they blame her and not him for the fact that some businesses will not survive the pandemic. Just today, retailer J. Crew filed for bankruptcy. Other retailers, including JCPenney and Sears - who had major financial woes before the pandemic began as-is - may follow suit. Smaller mom 'n pop businesses like the owner of several West Michigan movie theaters have turned to GoFundMe for help. Now that major studios are releasing their movies digitally for $20 for the time being, Some are now predicting that the end is now near for the movie theater business. Just before COVID-19 hit, one chain here in Michigan, Goodrich Quality Theaters filed for bankruptcy.

What's funny is that those who are denying COVID-19's existence end up getting it themselves. One person who was interviewed protesting at the State Capitol last week was proclaiming that he was hoping to get COVID-19 to build up antibodies. Wow. Spoken like somebody who spends all of his free time listening to the wisdom of right-winged kooks like Alex Jones. He'll definitely won't be saying that when he's six feet under, being eaten by worms.

It's a shame that people just simply won't listen to facts. COVID-19 can and will kill you. But, it won't last forever. Estimates claim that it will last until late June here in Michigan. Some places are opening up now, but others, like New York are on near-total shutdown. I know this has been going on for too damn long. But please, stay home unless you have to work or shop.

After all, it's better to have people thank you other than the current President of the United States.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, April 30, 2020

4.30.20 Hero of the Day: Jeff Gibbs

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Jeff Gibbs
Age: 65
Occupation: filmmaker
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Awarded For: making a thought-provoking movie about the truth about green energy

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The world sure has changed because of COVID-19, has it?

Just think that because of the coronavirus, the internet has become our dear friend. Instead of going to the movies, we watch them online or from an old pile of VHS tapes and DVDs. Some of us read books. Others do jigsaw puzzles or sit and listen to old records.

Of course, Hollywood's still gotta make money. Universal decided to release "Trolls: World Tour" digitally for $20 as opposed to releasing it in theaters because of the pandemic. Because of this, two theater chains, AMC and Regal have both said that they will no longer play any of Universal's films. Because of the pandemic, it's not expected for most cinemas to open until July or August. If they do, many might severely limit and distance their seating.

The good news is that pandemic or not, we're still seeing great movies. And one of them hit the web last week for the low, low price of... free.

"Planet of the Humans" is a movie that was completed last year and made its debut at the Traverse City Film Festival. The movie was made by Jeff Gibbs, a longtime producer of Michael Moore's movies. Moore himself produced 'Humans'. In the movie, Gibbs discusses the dark side of the green energy business. He talks about the fact that the materials used to make solar power and wind turbines are the result of mining. He also takes a shot at biomass and how plants that burn garbage stink up communities and are built near schools and parks.

'Humans' also takes shots at several well-known groups like the Sierra Club and even avowed environmentalists like Bill McKibben and even Al Gore for siding with biomass industries and the billionaires that fund them. The movie shows scenes of trees being logged and burned in areas like the Amazon and sugar fields being plowed all in the same of false green energy.

Since the film's release onto YouTube, it's gotten good reviews, though some so-called environmentalists have blasted the film for its attacks on solar and wind energy. True, it's still somewhat better than getting its energy from coal, but the sad reality is that there's no real solution to the world's climate change problems.

Well, sorta.

As I've mentioned not long ago, Pope Francis proclaimed that the COVID-19 pandemic is God's way of allowing us to control climate change. Thanks to the stay-at-home orders many states have, downtown Los Angeles is smogless for the first time in decades. Gasoline is affordable for the first time in ages since nobody's traveling. And since restaurants are closed and social distancing is a must, singles like me won't be fucking for a while.

In 'Humans', Gibbs says that the only really good way to stop climate change is for people to not procreate. The world is too overpopulated as it is. In the past several years, it's gotten too expensive to have children as-is here in America. A lot of the women I meet online end up only becoming pen pals because some work six or seven days per week. They have scary amounts of college debt and high rent to pay. Having a kid is out of the question.

The tragic trend I've noticed is that there's one group of people who are having children: stupid people. Two years ago, I had a so-called "girlfriend" who used me financially and did heroin behind my back. I manned up and kicked her out of my life. Just a few months later, she got married and gave birth to a kid. Just this past week, a cousin of mine and his stupid ho wife had their third child in three years. He's never had a long-term job. The only reason why they have money is because of her real estate job and the fact that when his mom, my aunt was dying of brain cancer, they forced her to sign her $1,500 per month retirement - which was supposed to be given to my uncle, who lost his job and used up his 401(K) - over to them. They're devout Catholics and use their religion as an excuse to bring more kids into this Earth and attack the rest of our family because we're not up to their so-called standards.

Sadly, I'll be 39 in less than a month. When I started this site 21 years ago, I promised that I would only end updating it when I get married. Well, 21 years later, that reality hasn't happened yet. Maybe that's a good thing because one of the sad lessons I've learned about women is that I'm not boyfriend material. Before the pandemic, I was working over 40 hours per week and I've always paid my bills. Yes, I'm a responsible adult. But I see too many women dating assholes who end up being total bums. And when a woman finally breaks away from that loser, she's already had two or three kids with him. And guess what? Once a woman becomes a mom, she's dead to me in the dating game.

But because of the fact that this world has collapsed tremendously since Reagan was president, I do ask IF it's morally acceptable to even bring a child into this world. Since I was born, we've dealt with AIDS, countless wars over oil, 9/11, recessions and now, coronavirus. I was raised to trust the president, but in my lifetime, it can't be possible. True, I'd love to create a sixth generation of family, but should it be allowed in this day and age?

Folks, the American dream is a trophy we all want in life. But as long as it's billionaires and not Democrats and Republicans running this nation, it can't come true. I sometimes compare my life to my parents' lives growing up. My father did OK for somebody who didn't graduate high school. My mother graduated, but in my situation, so did I, plus a vocational degree. I've worked at my company for 18 years and didn't make a living wage until just a few short years ago. Thanks to the wealthy, plus the baby boomers who voted in Reagan, this is what we get.

We should be proud the coronavirus is teaching us that Earth is fragile. It's too bad that now we have morons crying to lock Gretchen Whitmer up, but that's their problem. Sadly, we will have to go back to our old ways, but we need to give it time. We need to listen to science and not politics. We need to simply chill and give Mr. Gibbs two hours of our time.

And besides, it's free!

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

4.29.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 73
Occupation: Cheeto
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: being a poison to the country

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As some of my longtime readers know, this website and blog started as a crappy WebTV site called "Bring Howard Stern to Northern Michigan Radio and TV".

Growing up in boring northern Michigan, none of the media companies wanted to do business with Stern. They had their excuses, like "he's too expensive" and "he's too raunchy".

And yet, several of the media companies that had radio stations aired shitty shows like slut-shaming Rush Limbaugh and the racist and homophobic Dr. Laura.

As a teen, Howard was my idol. It was a shame that my cousins in Detroit and Grand Rapids got to listen to him every morning while the best northern Michigan could do in my teenage years was the extremely unfunny Bob and Tom Show. Personally, KLT should have picked up Stern since B&T's station was ganging up on them in the ratings. But since KLT's former owners were cheap assholes who replaced their morning shows like underwear, nothin' doin'.

Twenty-one years after this site's formation, I'm still a fan, though not as much. I feel that in a few ways, Howard's slowing down and the show itself is getting repetitive with its guests. But the good news is that Howard's still got a fire in his belly.

On Monday's show, the King of All Media proclaimed that Drumpf should go on TV to inject Clorox in front of his supporters while they do the same. This is after the reality show president on Saturday claimed that people should take disinfectants and be under UV lights to fight COVID-19. Since the broadcast, he has gotten some flack, even from longtime fans.

But you know, this is Howard Stern we're talking about here.

Back in the olden days, Drumpf was a frequent guest of Stern's. However, the two have royally distanced themselves from each other since Drumpf announced his candidacy for president five years ago. Drumpf asked Howard for his support, but he declined. Part of the reason, obviously was because Drumpf's supporters included the same Jebus freak groups that wanted him off the air in the first place, like the so-called American Family Association.

It's quite obvious that those protesting every stay-at-home order in America are those who probably slept through both science and history class in school. Of course, being wealthy all of his life, Drumpf had every right to sleep through those classes, because he didn't have to work his way through society like the white trash that voted him in as president in 2016. The same retards who go to Gretchen Whitmer's private residence flying their Confederate and Gadsden flags pretending that Michigan is a bordering state to Alabama and Mississippi. When these people protested the Governor's stay-at-home order, they put themselves at risk of getting COVID-19, which is a death sentence for some, especially those with underlying conditions.

The sad reality is that just the other day, it was announced that more Americans have now died from COVID-19 than the Vietnam War. Over 61,000 Americans have died from the coronavirus while 58,318 American soldiers were killed in action during the Vietnam conflict. The big difference between our brave men and women who fought for this country 50 years ago vs. those dying now are that many COVID victims didn't have to prepare to die just a short time ago.

And don't get me started on Mike Pence not wearing a mask at the Mayo Clinic. Since he had to ride in a car around Mackinac Island, it only shows how much of a pompous ass he is. And yes, the anti-gay shit he pulled as Indiana governor.

It's a sad shame that because of the morons who got this prick in the White House in 2016, we can't have nice things. The morons who protest in front of the Michigan State Capitol and bitch to Whitmer are the REASON why their businesses are closed and they have to collect unemployment if they can. It sucks to be them. Drumpf's ignorance is why over a million Americans have now been infected with this virus.

You see, I'm not racist. I'm not homophobic. I just don't like stupid people, period. I don't like people who talk all over me because they think they're more-important than I am. I don't like people who allow others to think for them. I think it's sad knowing that Drumpf's fanbase is nothing more than sheeple who watch Fox Propaganda Channel or worse, One America News Network 24/7. They might be smart enough to not drink bleach - although barely - but, they do drink the Kool-Aid.

Look, if you're offended by what Howard had to say, it sucks to be you. I've had friendships tarnished because of my opinions and others' opinions as well. Howard has opinions, Rush has opinions, Oprah has opinions and I have opinions. I would imagine that if he was still on terrestrial radio, some stations would cancel his show. Why? Because he's not a fucking conservative wacko. When Natalie Maines from The Dixie Chicks told a London crowd how ashamed they were being from George W. Bush's home state, Cumulus and other radio groups pulled them off their stations. But, when Ted Nugent told the media that "in a year I'll probably be dead or in jail by now", hinting that he wanted to kill President Obama a few years ago, those same radio groups continued on playing "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Stranglehold" like nothing happened. Scott Stapp from Creed also made threats against Obama and right now, some station somewhere is spinning "My Own Prison". Not only that, he currently has a song on the Active Rock charts called "Survivor", which is from his latest album "The Space Between the Shadows". The album, which has been out since last year has been a total flop so far.

Everybody is controversial in their own way. If Howard wants to call for the assassination of Drumpf, the world is his oyster. Controversy sells. The media will cover him and his personal stock market will rise. People will wonder what he'll say next, which means more SiriusXM subscriptions. More SXM subs mean less people listening to his replacements, i.e. some shitty, private label morning zoo or some dorky soccer mom morning show with an old dude and a fat bitch whose pussy stinks from pooping out three kids. Now that SXM is free during the pandemic, he's gaining a new audience. And since he hates Drumpf like anybody whose IQ is over room temperature, his discussions are a breath of fresh air.

Which, BTW is better than a shot of Clorox.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

4.28.20 Heroes of the Day: The Simpsons

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: The Simpsons
Age: 33
Occupation: everybody's favorite animated TV family
Last Seen: Sundays at 8 p.m. on Fox
Awarded For: lampooning my old hometown newspaper

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You can easily say that Matt Groening might be psychic.

Or even better, from the future.

If you've watched The Simpsons for over 30 years like I have, you know that the show does a good job of predicting the future. On one episode, the 20th Century Fox sign has a byline of "A Division of The Walt Disney Company". Years later, guess who owns Fox? It also predicted the invention of smartwatches, Drumpf being president, Siegfried and Roy being attacked by a tiger and the invention of autocorrect.

Well, as we all know, it takes months for one episode to be made. It's gotta be written, laid out, animated and so on. When Sunday's episode was being made, maybe - just maybe - the producers knew a few things about my birth town of Traverse City, Michigan.

On Sunday's Simpsons, First Church of Springfield hires a new assistant pastor, played by Pete Holmes. Immediately, he becomes so popular that the church elders fire Rev. Lovejoy. Angry, Lovejoy and his wife try to dig up some dirt on the new pastor. They Google him up and find nothing. Desperate, the Lovejoys go to Michigan, where the new pastor came from. They end up in Traverse City at the town's fictional newspaper, the Traverse City Press. Using the paper's microfilm system, they find out that the new pastor was part of a scandal. The article they read had the headline "Handsome Pastor in Easter Ouster". The film catches fire from the hot lightbulb while the paper's elderly publisher utters "I should have digitized the paper".

To add insult to injury, the Press' slogan is "All The News That Fits On Two Pages".

In all fairness, Traverse City does have a decent daily paper, the Record-Eagle, and yes, they do have a cohesive digital presence. As a matter of fact, sites like NewspaperArchive.com have archives of the R-E dating back to the 1890s (but ya gotta pay). Usually, the R-E is way more than two pages; it's more like 20.

And speak of the devil, there was a Traverse City Press that was around in the 1910s. This particular edition had eight pages.

But here's where I think Groening and Co. had their Carnac hats on. Just a day before the episode aired, R-E's publisher and editor made a tough announcement. Because of diminished advertising revenue and fears of COVID-19 among their office and print staff, they have abandoned publishing on Mondays and Tuesdays at least temporarily. They will still publish a digital edition of the paper on their website for the time being, though it clearly shows how the combination of COVID-19 plus the fact that the majority of people who buy newspapers these days probably own parrots like my mother. Monday's edition only had 12 pages total. Today's edition just had ten with no Sports section.

The funny thing is that there are links between northern Michigan, the R-E and The Simpsons themselves. Julie Kavner, Marge Simpson herself has a home near Torch Lake. As for the R-E, it was once owned by Dow Jones until 2006 when it was sold to Community Newspaper Holdings, Inc. Two years ago, the company was sold to Retirement Systems of Alabama, the former owners of Raycom, which owned NBC affiliate WPBN 7&4 in the 1990s. A year after the R-E was sold to CNHI, Dow Jones was sold to Murdoch.

Maybe because of all this, Helen was able to pronounce "Mackinac" correctly.

When a person, place or thing gets lampooned, it's usually an honor. Years ago, Nirvana claimed that they knew they made it when Weird Al Yankovic parodied "Smells Like Teen Spirit" as "Smells Like Nirvana". However, some were angry over his parodies, like Coolio when his "Gangsta's Paradise" was parodied as "Amish Paradise". In the case of satirical magazines like Mad, many enjoyed seeing themselves drawn by their great caricaturists like the late Mort Drucker, Jack Davis, Jack Rickard and the very-much-still alive Angelo Torres and Tom Richmond. As a matter of fact, Quentin Tarantino commissioned Mad and Richmond to create several fake covers in regard to Leonardo DiCaprio's fictional TV show in his recent movie "Once Upon a Time in Hollywood".

Obviously, I originally created this site to tell the broadcasters in northern Michigan to simply be better when it comes to serving its audience. After all, northern Michigan has long been a far-from-perfect market for media. After all, Traverse City didn't get its first radio station until 1941, eleven years after the first commercial radio station, KDKA Pittsburgh signed on. It was also in 1941 that the first TV station, what is now WNBC-TV New York made its first broadcast. Television didn't come to northern Michigan until 1954. FM radio first came around in the late 1930s. Northern Michigan? Early 60s. The list goes on. However, the R-E has been around since 1857. It started nearly 100 years after America's oldest paper, the Hartford Courant began publication. It is older than many other well-established papers like the Chicago Sun-Times, The Grand Rapids Press and The Detroit News. When the paper celebrated its 150th Anniversary in 2007, Michael Moore even put an ad in the paper thanking them for not going the cookie-cutter route like other papers have in terms of real journalism. He commanded them for their coverage of the scandal involving Meijer wanting to put a massive new store in Acme and the chain's plan to get elected officials fired for opposing the plan. Of course, Meijer got their way. Thanks to them, M-72 is loaded with confusing roundabouts and there's not one, but two abandoned buildings on US-31 that once housed a Kmart and a locally-owned Tom's Food Market.

In many ways, the R-E is a helluva lot more-respected than TV and radio stations in the area. In northern Michigan, four TV stations are owned by two companies through back-deal agreements and several radio stations are off the air due to either poor management or the fact that they're up for sale. It is kinda sad that instead of attacking the broadcasters in the area, The Simpsons had to pick on the R-E. But then again, like many other native northern Michiganders, I've had my beefs with the paper that some have nicknamed "The Wretched Beagle". But then again, better them over other papers like The Grand Rapids Press, which has a right-lean and hires morons like "Huge" Bill Simonson to write shitty articles for them.

IMHO, the Traverse City Record-Eagle should enjoy their two seconds of fame, even if the producers got the name of the paper wrong. Sometimes, being parodied or being criticized makes one better. Years ago, I was constantly making fun of a Howard Stern wannabe morning show in northern Michigan. The show got sacked. Well, one of the members of that morning show and I had a few conversations about broadcasting and the business itself. Turns out that he and the show's host were huge fans of my blog! When they got hired by a competing station, he actually told me that he didn't mind my criticisms of that show. Believe it or not, they felt that they could use them to make their show better. And you know what? He's right!

As somebody who's a fan of people like Jon Taffer and Gordon Ramsay, the lesson is that people need criticism to make their lives better. When people can't accept criticism, their lives are doomed. My former boss was like that. When people criticized him for going on vacation every two minutes while we haven't had a raise in ten years, he'd find an excuse to fire them. There was no pleasing him. But, when he retired, our company was on the verge of bankruptcy. Of course, new management heard us and soon, we were getting raises. Even through these tough times, we're getting incentives to stay employed, like getting paid if there's no work.

The point of any business is that even though you might be the boss, you still have a boss, and it's us. Look at KLT in northern Michigan: I fucking hate that station, but the boomers love them. If you love butt rock, KLT is for you. But, since they have decent ratings, plus the fact that they added a new signal in Alpena, they might be around for a little longer. Personally, Rock 105/95-5 is my jam up north musically. Why? They play newer music, plus the rock from my teenage years. Once the boomers die off, then I'll predict that KLT will have to change right then and there.

I haven't heard any response from R-E's management or staff regarding the Simpsons blurb. If they think it's funny like me, then hallelujah. But, if they're going to beg the producers for an apology, then they're assholes. Hell, when she was lampooned on a cut sketch from Saturday Night Live last weekend, Gretchen Whitmer gave it her thumbs up, though she corrected them for the fact that she was chugging a Labatt Blue. Us Michiganders love our Bell's.

After all, they who laughs last, laughs best.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!