Bee-otch of the Day: October 2018

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

10.31.18 Bee-otch of the Day: Cherryland Center

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Cherryland Center
Age: 42
Occupation: former shopping mall
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: giving themselves a bomb threat

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When Cherryland Mall opened up in 1976 in Traverse City, it was the biggest mall north of Grand Rapids.

It wasn't the biggest mall in the world. It didn't have a food court, movie theaters or much flair for that matter. It was a small town mall with a Sears, Prange's (later Younkers), Kmart and a Kroger, plus some 50 more stores.

Of course, Grand Traverse Mall came around in 1992 and Cherryland spent the next decade dying. Traverse City proved that it was too small to support two malls, so in 1999, Cherryland converted into being an outdoor shopping center. In the beginning, there was hope for Cherryland, though as the 2010s began, the old Kroger - now a Tom's Food Market - closed, becoming a Big Lots, Cherryland itself fell into foreclosure, and much-recently, Sears, Kmart and Younkers all closed due to the financial problems all three chains are facing.

Rumors have been flying that the old Kmart will be converted into a U-Haul dealership. As for Sears and Younkers, only time will tell.

At least one space at Cherryland has been put into use, but not a very good one. It's the home of the Grand Traverse County Republican Party headquarters. Early this afternoon, a 60-something man wearing Carhartts and a cowboy hat came in with a sign reading "Trump is Satan". After he was asked to leave, he threatened to blow up the place and left. The cops were called as a precaution and found no bombs. But given the fact that Cherryland has become as useless as tits on a bull, it wouldn't make me cry if they tore it down. True, it was my early childhood mall, but it hasn't had any real worth in years.

I know, the world of retail is dying, especially in northern Michigan where for many, it's more convenient to buy off of Amazon over making the trek to Traverse. Hell, it's sad as-is that the Target wing at Grand Traverse Mall is a ghost town where the only two stores are an Armed Forces center and an acupressure place. It's too bad that Cherryland and GT Mall can't learn from the success of Woodland and Centerpoint here in Grand Rapids. Instead, the morons at Cherryland sell their souls to the Repukes.

Then again, Centerpoint has the Secretary of State's office, where the wait times are horrific. That's punishment enough.

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Tuesday, October 30, 2018

10.30.18 Bee-otch of the Day: Christopher Ilitch

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Christopher Ilitch
Age: 53
Occupation: playing with his father's money
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: investing in crap

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Sixty years ago next year, a 30-year-old washed-up baseball player turned his upset into some real dough.

Both the money kind and the stuff that you make pizza with.

Since starting Little Caesars Pizza in 1959 in a small strip mall in Garden City, MI, Mike Ilitch was seen as a titan who made billions but gave so much back to the city of Detroit. When he died last year, it was even revealed that he moved Rosa Parks into a nice high-rise and paid her rent for the rest of her life after she was attacked at her old house. It's a definite far cry from the hatred spawned by one of his many rivals, "Papa John" Schnatter.

But like I mentioned, Ilitch died last year at the age of 87. Since his passing, control of the family empire has been taken over by his son, Christopher. Now, when Mike ran his empire, his two pet sports teams, the NHL's Red Wings and MLB's Tigers were championship-par teams. Hell, he helped to nurse the Red Wings to health when he bought the long-suffering team in 1982. Under his aegis, the Red Wings won four Stanley Cups and the Tigers made it into the World Series twice. Today, both the Tigers (which ended this past two seasons with mediocre 64-98 records) and the Red Wings (currently the worst team in the NHL with a 2-7-2 record) are flaming piles of shit. Even more embarrassing is that the Boston Red Sox won the World Series on Sunday and a huge chunk of their lineup is made up of ex-Tigers. Hell, the Detroit Free Press tweeted after the Sox' win that the 2014 Detroit Tigers had finally won the World Series.

The sad thing is that the Tigers are now practically a farm team and Miguel Cabrera - who was on the DL most of last season - is their only saving grace. The only good news about the Tigers from last year was that they did better than four other teams in all of baseball and they did finish in third place in the AL Central. In 2017, they were tied with the A's as the worst team in baseball (and oddly enough, former manager Brad Ausmus was just hired to be the Angels' skipper).

Now, here it is in October and as somebody who had always chosen the Wings over the Pistons, I'm now doing the opposite. At least they have a talented new coach in Dwane Casey - who was the NBA Coach of the Year and was still fired by the Raptors - while the Wings don't have a captain or any real direction anymore. Plus, at least us pissed Wings fans are learning that a successful AHL coach like Jeff Blashill in the NHL is like a toddler trying to shove a square piece into a circle hole in a shape puzzle.

Now comes word that the Ilitches are considering starting their own regional sports network that would carry both the Wings and Tigers (sounds like FSN Detroit at least will still have the Pistons). When the announcement was made, some boasted that they wouldn't pay $15/mo. to watch shitty teams and another proclaiming that he would PASS on that (for those born over 20 years ago, the Pro-Am Sports System was a regional sports network like FSN here in Michigan. They carried all the major sports teams out of Detroit sans Lions. They went out of business when FSN was launched in 1997). The reason for the Ilitches apparently wanting to get into the broadcast business is simply because of other team-owned regionals like New York's YES (owned by the Yankees) and the Red Sox's NESN.

You know, here's an idea: HOW ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR FUCKING TEAMS INSTEAD? Look, I want Detroit to have good teams. But as long as all four play like shit, well yeah, nobody's going to come to the games! Yes, there's the new Little Caesars Arena, but already, they're changing the seats from orange to black. Why? When they're empty, they're an eyesore to many.

Guess what? So do teams that don't make the playoffs.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, October 29, 2018

10.29.18 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 164Occupation: right winged turds
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: everything

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First off, my sincere apologies for slacking off this month.

Between my mom moving to Grand Rapids, car issues and working lots of hours at my real job, it's a good reason why this is only the eighth Bee-otch of the Day this month. And with the Repukes raising hell every fucking day, where do I even want to begin?

Should I talk about the asshole who shot and killed 11 Jewish people over his hatred toward them? How about the idiot de facto president who thought that the synagogue should have been armed? How about the asshole space cadet who sent mail bombs to Drumpf's critics? How about the cunt whom NBC hired to siphon viewers from Fox News who thought that it's OK to dress in blackface? Don't get me started on the countless campaign ads polluting local TV stations. The Repukes want to spread the message that single payer healthcare is bad while here in Michigan, the Dems are warning everybody about the Repukes' record on allowing Nestle to turn our lakes into shallow wastelands.

Folks, the BOTDs this month are writing themselves. The Repukes are either so stupid or so hateful that they're begging for a verbal tongue-lashing. Come a week from tomorrow, we'll see who will have the final word.
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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

10.23.18 Bee-otch of the Day: iHeartMedia

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: iHeartMedia
Age: 46
Occupation: media antichrist
Last Seen: San Antonio, TX
Bee-otched For: allowing The Brew to still exist

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Last week, the Grand Rapids radio ratings came out for last Summer. B93 returned to the top, WGRD zoomed back to second place in their best book in ages, WSNX returned to 3rd place while WLAV and WOOD-AM/FM tied for #4.

The big losers, of course, are the perennial sports duo of iHeartMedia's ESPN 96.1 and Cumulus' WBBL 107.3. But what might be even more embarrassing is the fact that a music station is actually tied with one of the sports stations.

iHeart's 101.3 The Brew is tied with WBBL for 14th place. The classic rocker only registered a 1.6, one of its lowest ratings in forever.

So, why does The Brew suck? Simple: the station is loaded with out-of-town jocks and a shitty morning show that tanked in Detroit. Plus, the station shares the same fucking corporate classic rock that LAV plays. What were they thinking when they added Rover's Morning Glory to their schedule? Do they expect that shitty-assed show to defeat the local Free Beer and Hot Wings in the ratings? Please. Plus, I see no promotion for RMG. No billboards, no promo crew on the streets, no nothing.

Folks, 101.3 has been some sort of rock format since 2001 and they've NEVER kicked ass in the ratings. IFart doesn't know what to do with the station. Alternative's a stupid choice since it's tanking in Detroit. Active rock might be an OK choice IF they stay away from the older rock that everybody in town plays. Hell, they could even air an attack campaign on GRD for playing classic rock. Oh! 101.3 can't do a black format since it'll hurt WSNX. I can go on and on, but let's face it: 101.3 has been a flaming dumpster fire for too long.

At least it's not as bad as WFUR.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, October 18, 2018

10.18.18 Bee-otch of the Day: Richard Kalkman

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Richard Kalkman
Age: 51
Occupation: pharmacist
Last Seen: 2410 Hemlock Lane, Petoskey, MI 49770
Bee-otched For: pissing on woman's rights

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It's any couple's worst nightmare: having children for the first time and suddenly, everything goes wrong.

Well, it happened to Rachel Peterson, a 35-year-old woman from Ionia, 30 miles east of Grand Rapids. Last summer, she suffered a miscarriage. So, she and her husband went to Petoskey - 80 miles north of Traverse City - for a getaway to get their minds off of their personal tragedy. Her doctor prescribed misoprostol, a drug used to help with the termination of pregnancies. According to Peterson, if she didn't take the drug, she would have had an infection.

She went to the Petoskey Meijer with her prescription and their pharmacist, Richard Kalkman refused to honor it. His reason? He told her that was a "good Catholic boy" and thought that she was having an abortion instead. To make matters worse, he wouldn't even allow another pharmacist to cover her prescription or even transfer it to another pharmacy.

Now, the American Civil Liberties Union has filed a complaint against Meijer and is asking for an investigation as to why Kalkman didn't honor Peterson's prescription. The ACLU claimed that Peterson was a victim of sexual discrimination because misoprostol is also used to treat ulcers. Had Peterson been a male, Kalkman would have probably given the meds to her. Meanwhile, Meijer did say that Kalkman is no longer with the company, though they refused to say if he was fired.

You know, if that same Meijer hired a Muslim as a cashier and he refused to sell a customer pork products, of course they should fire him. All Kalkman did was shame a grieving woman because of his religion, which is loaded with pedophile priests and dark secrets. In the Catholic mind, it's not OK for an abortion, probably because that means less children for molesting.

My thoughts are with the Petersons and their loss. I think because of what Kalkman did, they'll think twice about going up north. Sadly, northern Michigan is loaded with racists and religious nuts. Hell, a huge reason why people move up north is to get away from the blacks in Detroit. In their mind, if type of person is bad, they're all bad.

I hope as long as Kalkman works as a retail pharmacist, people will avoid wherever he works. This is also why - and thanks to a Google search - I wasn't hesitant to list his address. I would love to see a group of feminists throw dead fetuses at his house. He deserves it.

Let's save the fetus, but when that same body is gunned down at school because the pro-lifers are also NRA members....

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

10.17.18 Bee-otch of the Day: Eddie Lampert

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Eddie Lampert
Age: 56
Occupation: hedge fund manager
Last Seen: Chicago
Bee-otched For: running Sears and Kmart into the ground

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Growing up in northern Michigan, it seemed that every major town of 2,000 people or more had a Kmart.

When Kmart opened in Acme near Traverse City in 1989, we didn't go to Cherryland Mall as much anymore. Sadly, that meant me wearing shitty Kmart shoes to school that wore out every two months or so. But, that's how my parents rolled.

Of course, Kmart went bankrupt in 2002 and ended up shuttering a whole bunch of stores. I moved to Grand Rapids that year, and by the time I moved to my section of town, the local Kmart closed and soon became a Burlington. There were more buildings that once housed Kmarts than ones than ones that were still in business in the area.

Today, the nearest Kmart to Grand Rapids is in Hastings, a town of 7,350 and also has a Walmart. In northern Michigan, only three Kmarts are still standing: Grayling, Oscoda and Charlevoix.

But soon, the Charlevoix store will be gone, too.

On Monday, Sears Holdings announced that they are filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy and closing 142 stores. Yesterday, the company closed at 63 cents, higher than the 28 cents a few days ago and MUCH lower than the $6.79 per share as its 52-week high.

Remember the Family Guy episode where the Griffins go to the mall and they go to Sears? Of course, Lois said "Peter, nobody's been to Sears in years", they walk in and it's a parody of the Mad Max movies. Well, that's Sears in real life, sadly. Neither Sears nor Kmart have built a new store in YEARS and most of their stores look like relics of the 1990s or worse, much earlier.

Much of the blame goes to Eddie Lampert, the Ayn Rand-loving former CEO whose ideas bankrupted the company. Thankfully, he did step down from that role on Monday, but the damage has been done. Only time will tell if Sears Holdings will close for good. Under Lampert, Sears has been selling off their properties, shuttered Sears Canada and they even sold off their legendary product line like Craftsman. Now, there's even talks of them selling their Kenmore brand.

Thanks to Lampert's piss-poor management of Sears, malls are failing because of Sears closing their stores. When Sears closes a mall store, they lose an anchor. Malls with no anchors lose individual stores and become ghost towns. Thankfully here in Grand Rapids, when Sears closed their store at Woodland Mall, the mall announced that they would be replacing it with a new wing, plus Von Maur. Many malls that lose anchors sadly don't know how to replace them. Across town at Rivertown Crossings, I'll betcha they don't know what to do with the former Younker's site. If Sears there closes, well, all I can say to them is good luck.

To me, Sears is dead. I haven't stepped foot into a Kmart in years, and the last time I did, the service sucked. Maybe the reason why was because the employees are paid shit wages and Lampert don't care. It's all about the money to him, and sadly, he doesn't know how to make it.

In other news, you can go to Meijer and scan items on your phone as you shop. I'll betcha that the lines at Sears and Kmart, OTOH are nine miles long.
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Tuesday, October 16, 2018

10.16.18 Hero of the Day: Kerri "Preemiememe" Matuszak

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ee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Image by Doc Ivan

Name: Kerri "Preemiememe" Matuszak
Age: was 58
Occupation: Photoshop artist
Last Seen: among the heavens
Awarded For: being a talented woman who left us too soon

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This morning at 5 a.m., I woke up to some VERY shocking news.

One of my Facebook friends, the talented Doc Ivan, announced that another great and talented Facebook artist, Kerri Matuszak had lost her battle with cancer. She was just 58.

As some of you know, I lost my aunt also to cancer a few months ago at 60. She was an RN at the Vet's Home here in Grand Rapids and took care of our war heroes. In Kerri's case, she took care of three special young people who really needed her: her triplet children. All three of her kids were born prematurely and battled cerebral palsy all their lives.

Now, two of Kerri's three kids - Alec and Sydney - are 23 and doing quite well. Sadly, Alec - an aspiring MMA fighter - also died of cancer.

I've been online friends with Kerri for many, many years and loved her "chopped" images. She was a humongous fan of Howard Stern's and loved chatting about the show with others. I loved it when she mentioned me in her posts. I even handed the BOTD to a home health aide of theirs seven years ago for stealing the family dog. The only time I cringed at her was when she announced on Facebook that she turned off the Stern show because he endorsed Hillary Clinton for president instead of her candidate, Drumpf.

Kerri announced on Facebook that she was battling cancer again last year and would be taking chemo. Sadly, her cancer battle ended yesterday.

Sometimes, I wonder why talented young people die too young. True, Kerri was a Drumpfer, but she was an awesome mother and great digital artist. She was a friend to many and was an inspiration to those with children with disabilities. My thoughts are with her husband, Edward and her two surviving children.

Thank you, Preem. Say hi to Ian for us.
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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

THE BACK PAGE: Mike Clark Dead at 63

10.16.18
MIKE CLARK DEAD AT 63
Former WRIF morning man had lung issues

Longtime fans of WRIF 101.1 Detroit's Drew and Mike morning show heard the heartbreaking news this afternoon that Mike Clark, Drew Lane's other half of the once-popular morning show died suddenly in his sleep at the age of 63.

Clark and Lane were the hosts of WRIF's wildly-popular morning show, which went off the air several years ago with both sides amicably deciding to break up. Lane, however, did host a short-lived afternoon sports show on now-defunct sister station Detroit Sports 105.1 after the show ended.

According to Lane, Clark had multiple health issues over the years, including issues with his lungs. Clark worked several odd jobs before joining Lane at 37. Beforehand, he was a regular caller to the show - formerly "Drew and Zip" before "Zip" moved to Phoenix - doing his vast array of voices.

I do have to give WRIF some credit. On their website, they have a nice tribute to Mike, including some old clips of D&M. Most radio stations seem to piss on their own heritage and sweep their past under the rug.

Regrettably, my association with Drew and Mike is slim to none, given that I'm a Howard Stern guy. Hell, I remembered when Howard debuted on 97.1 K-Rock (now 97.1 The Ticket), they ran a SHITLOAD of promos bashing WRIF, Drew and Mike and elderly afternoon guy Arthur Penhallow. Even Howard himself bashed Drew and Mike for ripping his show off.

Nonetheless, D&M still had a sizable following in Detroit and are still loved and remembered today. Our thoughts are with Mr. Clark's family.

Monday, October 15, 2018

10.15.18 Bee-otch of the Day: PJ Weber

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: PJ Weber
Age: ??
Occupation: evil magician
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: threatening me and my family

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OK, so I haven't done many BOTDs for several weeks. Getting a new car and my mom moving to Grand Rapids will do that.

Last Wednesday, I spent the whole day walking in driving rain moving in my mom into her new apartment with little help. I was walking through deep, slippery mud carrying in couches, beds and heavy-ass items. After the Penske truck was FINALLY emptied, I went home, showered and took a small nap.

While I was napping, my mom called me, asking me to take her and her friend to Denny's. So, I climbed into my car, picked them up and took them there. I found a parking spot in front of the building. However, my car's front end ran over a stone in front of the spot that apparently was also under the car next to us. I backed up, turned off the car and opened the door. As I was exiting the car, the occupant of the car to the left of me came to me, screaming like a banshee. He was claiming that when I opened my door, I hit his car, which had a wrap around it. So, we all got out - and bear in mind, it was STILL raining - and we saw no damage on his car. He was crying that my car was in his lane, blah, blah, blah, and my mom got into his face as well. He told her to kiss his ass and that was that. Mom told me let's go and that was the end, even though this douchebag was taking pictures of my car.

We escaped even more stressed out because of this prick and ended up at IHOP instead. We remembered his car wrap, and found his website. On the site, he claims that he played in front of presidents and even Mikhail Gorbachev. The funniest part of all was that he was a member of the Fellowship of Christian Magicians. REALLY?!?! After how he treated us?

Oh, I should tell you that the third person in our party just happens to be in the Army. That douchebag was crying that he was calling the cops. Well, I think in a town like Grand Rapids, the cops have more things to worry about than a scratch - if any - on a shitty little Kia and us three agreed. Since Wednesday, no cops have knocked on my door.

According to Weber's site, he charges a minimum of $200 a night. Well, if you're thinking about hiring him, I hope you can save that $200 and put it to good use somewhere else. The way he treated my mom and I was barbaric and the fact that he parked his little clown car in a handicapped spot with no stickers shows how big of a jerkoff his really is.

I hope that as a magician, he can disappear.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, October 8, 2018

10.8.18 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: The Republican Party
Age: 164
Occupation: right-winged pricks
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: getting a sicko into the Supreme Court

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When Drumpf announced his run for president, he told his minions that Mexico was sending their rapists to our country.

On Saturday, he and his party - and a Democrat, Joe Manchin - sent a sexual deviant to the Supreme Court.

During his confirmation hearing, Brett Kavanaugh lied out of his ass about boofing and devil's triangles to convince our Senate to get him on board as associate justice. I even sat through Susan Collins' hour-long speech on Friday, thinking and hoping that the people of Maine will throw her old, saggy ass out to the street in 2020. I thought that Maine was a very leftist state, but I guess wrong since there's a lot of hunters.

What's heartbreaking is that now, we have FOUR(!!!) Supreme Court justices who were picked by presidents who have all lost the popular vote. Let that sink in. The SC has a Republican majority and this could have a negative affect on women's rights, LGBT rights and pretty much the rights of those who aren't wealthy white males.

Yes, the Repukes will cry that unemployment is down, though personally, I still see homeless people on the streets begging for change at intersections. There's people who make more than minimum wage who sadly have to live in the poor house because, and to quote Jimmy McMillan, the rent is too damn high. A few weeks ago, several people - including former Michigan gubernatorial candidate Abdul El-Sayed - were all arrested at a protest to get Michigan's minimum wage risen to $15 per hour.

Sadly, the Dems deserve a lot of the blame, too. They are cowardly for the fact that they've been too milquetoast, losing support of their progressive followers. Hell, they deserve Drumpf as president since instead of fighting for the people who vote for them, they kiss Repuke ass. Now, this is reality.

I know, let's get rid of the Electoral College and let real people decide the elections. To me, the EC is the equivalent to Affirmative Action for the tiny-ass hick states to give them more power and say in elections. The truth is, yes, there are lefties in Alabama, North Dakota, West Virginia and other ember-red states. But, will the EC be eliminated soon? I have my doubts.

Folks, I think it's time for a blue wave, but in order to do so, the Dems have got to stop kissing Repuke ass. Knock it off with the middle of the road bullshit. We need a livable minimum wage, we need real healthcare, we need affordable schools, we need less gun violence and hell, we need affordable housing! A chicken in every pot and a car in every garage... Remember that?

The two-party system: fucking us in the ass since 1980.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

10.3.18 Bee-otch of the Day: iHeartMedia

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: iHeartMedia
Age: 46
Occupation: media giant
Last Seen: San Antonio, TX
Bee-otched For: breaking the Stick

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Radio: where ratings no longer matter.

Recently, Grand Rapids was given a shocker when long-time CHR 104.5 WSNX topped the ratings, displacing sister station B93. This was despite the fact that much of the station is programmed from Detroit these days.

Now, the station has lost another piece of being live and local.

Sam "Stick" Day, the station's programmer and afternoon jock has been fired from the station. On social media, he said that he was very proud of his accomplishments at WSNX, especially his ratings records. Stick came to WSNX from sister WKQI Channel 955 in Detroit where he held a similar shift before heading to SNX nearly three years ago.

Stick also hosted Channel 955's Saturday night mix show as well.

No word was given as to why Stick was canned from the top-rated CHR, though sadly, rumor had it that it was because WSNX and WKQI's owners, iHeartMedia wants to further consolidate their operations.

You know, I don't listen to WSNX most of the time, but I hate it when a successful radio station fires a DJ for shit reasons. I remembered around 25 years ago in northern Michigan where I grew up, a popular morning jock, Tim Murphy got canned from WKLT. Why? It was because he trashed Arby's. At the exact time he was in the middle of his diatribe against the roast beast giant, the chain was ordering $200 worth of spots on the station. Instead of defending him, KLT simply fired him, which is what the station is known for: firing popular jocks whose name isn't Terri Ray.

It's funny that here in Grand Rapids, iHeart has 101.3 The Brew, which has NO ratings and yet, they've been a rock station with virtually the same format for over 15 years. Cumulus has WBBL 107.3 and the fat blowhard Bill Simonson, which doesn't have ratings, period. So, why are radio groups tolerant towards failure and won't fight for their top-rated jocks? Good question.

In WSNX's case, they're safe. They're the only full-powered radio station in Grand Rapids with enough balls to play rap and hip-hop. They can have some jerkoff willing to work for minimum wage called Kendrick Lamar Lamar Kendrick and they won't care. As long as they carry those one-second ads with that woman saying "take me to Kessler's", all is well for iFart.

As for Stick, looks like he wants to go back to Detroit. I don't blame him. Maybe he'll end up at 98.7 Amp Radio, since that station won't go anywhere soon, poor ratings or not. Who knows? Nonetheless, I wish him the best.

And why is digital media (SiriusXM, Pandora, Spotify, etc.) kicking traditional media's ass?

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

10.2.18 Bee-otch of the Day: terrestrial radio

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 98
Occupation: supposed entertainers and informers of the public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: still making mistakes

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Last week, a big deal was made in the world of radio.

No, it didn't involve any AM or FM radio stations.

SiriusXM announced that they were buying Pandora for $3.5 billion. In recent times, Pandora has seen a decrease in listeners to Swedish-based Spotify. At least with Spotify, you can create stations based on your likes and preferences as opposed to Pandora telling you to enjoy the same songs over and over.

I'll admit that as a former subscriber of Sirius, this makes me wonder if they will use Pandora as a free, commercial version of them. In other words, do what Spotify's doing: make it a free service with commercials or pay to have them removed.

Thanks to Spotify, I can create my own stations and play the music I love as opposed to having a programming director tell me what to listen to. Plus, with Spotify and Pandora, you can do something you can't do on terrestrial radio or even SiriusXM: skip songs you hate or are just too damn tired of hearing for the 316,732nd time. Right now on my Spotify favorites station, the playlist is at 925 tunes.

A lot of times, I ask myself, "where was this technology 20 years ago when I was forced to live in northern Michigan?" We had the internet, but cable internet and even wi-fi was still years away. Smartphones were also years away. Living in northern Michigan and being a fan of bands like KoRn, Rage Against the Machine and Tool, I felt homeless since the only rock stations in town - KLT, The Bear and The Zone - either played way too much classic rock, Lilith Fair shit or both.

KLT's problem was its owners, the Gokey family from Minot, ND. They felt that northern Michigan wasn't the best place for new rock, even though KLT didn't have a problem playing Huey Lewis and The News and U2 in the 80s. True, North Dakota was the state that gave us two great radio legends: Shadoe Stevens - who built a homemade radio station when he was ten - and the late, great Ed Schultz. Sadly, the Gokeys should have stuck to bottling Pepsi instead of telling northern Michigan what rock should sound like.

Thankfully, northern Michigan does have a decent rock station in Rock 105/95-5 now. But sadly, KLT is quickly turning into the Bill Knapp's of rock radio. Every time I go up north, I usually talk with people around my age (37) about how shitty KLT is. I look at the playlist and out of ten songs, maybe there's three I might like. The rest is all shit nobody under the age of 60 listens to, or should be listening to.

I remembered when the Gokeys flipped 106.7 The Peak to adult contemporary. Their young listeners abandoned it while they failed to attract new ones. Several format flips later, they're now ESPN sports. Today, the north has two CHRs in long-standing 106 KHQ and Z93. Sadly, the playlists of both stations are ho-hum comparing to 104.5 WSNX here in Grand Rapids. Hell, I cringed when I was listening to Z93's internet feed recently and they aired a liner read by pRick Snyder! WOW! Nothing like reaching women 18-49 by having the scumbag governor of Michigan read a liner between songs. No wonder why their ratings suck! KHQ's ratings are down, too, probably because they've gotten too fucking vanilla. You know, whites do like black music, too!

Of course, the Gokeys were supposed to sell KLT, along with ESPN Up North and 94.3/92.5 The Fox to Blarney Stone Broadcasting, the owners of rock Q100 and sports Y101 out of Grayling two years ago. People wondered why the sale kept taking so long. Turns out that the Gokeys wanted way too much fucking money. They wanted BSB to buy not just the stations, but their transmitter sites as well. The two sides tried working out a deal, but no can do and the deal was recently called off. Now, it was announced on Monday that BSB is now operating AC WLDR 101.9 (dropping their "The Bay" moniker), 99.3 WOUF (now WQAN and simulcasting Q100) and 92.3 WBNZ (now simulcasting Y101 with the two stations rebranded as "Up North Sports Radio"). To me, this is great news, especially since 99.3 and 92.3 have been either silent or simulcasting WLDR for the past decade. It's not known whether or not BSB is buying the stations outright (I did leave a voice mail with owner Jerry Coyne). But if they are, it's probably the best news in northern Michigan radio history, given their current owner's history of leaving downtown Traverse City with a massive hole in the ground for nearly a decade, lying to the FCC, physically and verbally abusing employees and attacking those who speak the truth about him.

You know, I like Q100 and its massive playlist. Hell, I was listening to them just now and they're having a tribute to Tom Petty, who died one year ago today. They're also not afraid to play newer music (they just played Royal Blood's "I Only Lie When I Love You"), although KLT now plays Greta Van Fleet on a daily basis (probably because of their resemblance to Led Zeppelin). Sometimes, I wonder why Coyne wanted to buy KLT. The good news is that 99.3's signal will help Q100 bring more of an audience to Traverse City and the surrounding areas. I wish them the best!

Granted, there is *some* good news about northern Michigan terrestrial radio and its war against digital media. But since I live in Grand Rapids, where about 90% of all the radio stations is owned by three companies, the news is more, well, something else. True, there ARE some local station owners, but sadly, they're all religious. Sometimes, I wonder how many people actually listen to WFUR 102.9. 50,000 watts and when they subscribed to Arbitron, they were usually the lowest-rated station in town.

My big beef right now is WGRD. Their playlist is repetitive and has too much classic rock for an active rocker. Then again, it's a problem that there are stations that report to the trades as active rock and yet they play bands that have ZERO place on a modern hard station like Kansas and Styx. Hell, GRD's ratings have fallen since those changes were made.

Sadly, Grand Rapids is a radio market where nothing exciting happens. Hell, when I bought my new car last week, I bought an FM transmitter for my phone because the radio didn't have an auxiliary jack or Bluetooth. My Dad even asked me, "can't you just listen to the radio?" Of course, I told him that radio here is simply too boring.

So, there you go. Radio needs to know why people are indeed leaving in droves. I was told by somebody that he worked at a station that once had a 25 share. When internet radio came around in the mid-90s, it was half that rating.

You see, if radio can work out a strategy to bring listeners back, great. It seems to be working for Q100 since the Coynes have worked hard to expand their media empire. But like any business, if it sounds fake and like everybody else, people will indeed leave. No listeners will equate to no advertisers. Some stations don't subscribe to Nielsen and can't prove that they have ratings. I read radio ratings regularly. If I owned a business and somebody from a radio group comes in and can't prove that people are listening, they ain't getting my money. In this society where people judge by not just word of mouth, but the internet as well, if you can't perform well, it's time to make a HUGE change.

At least one radio station owner in northern Michigan is FINALLY doing so.
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