Name: Detroit Lions
Age: 80
Occupation: pussies
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: being a purrfect example of failure
-Age: 80
Occupation: pussies
Last Seen: Detroit, MI
Bee-otched For: being a purrfect example of failure
It's been almost 400 years since the first Thanksgiving was held here in the United States.
A group of pilgrims set asail onto the Mayflower in hopes of finding a new world to escape religious rule. They befriended the natives and created a sense of respect and unity. Since then, we've acknowledged their friendship based on trust and gratitude.
Thanksgiving has long been a holiday where we express our thanks for the good things in life. We enjoy our yearly tradition of being with family and good food, and for us Michiganders, watching the annual Detroit Lions Turkey Day game.
In a somewhat ironic turn, the 3-6-1 Lions played The 1-9 Washington Redskins on Sunday. It should have been an easy win for the Lions, given the 'Skins' lousy season. But thanks to abhorrent backup QB Jeff Driskel getting sacked and throwing interceptions all over the place at the end of the game Sunday, The Redskins won, 19-16. It was the 'Skins' first home win since October of last year. It was also the Lions' fourth-straight loss and seventh out of eight games.
What's funny is that for years, Native Americans have all begged the NFL and the Washington team to eliminate the Redskins name. They claim that it's a slur against them and it's just as offensive as the N-word is to blacks. If real lions could speak, they should tell the NFL that it's time for the Detroit team to change its name, too. Lions are supposed to be strong, powerful kings of the jungle. The Detroit Lions are so weak that they can make Bert Lahr's character from "The Wizard of Oz" look like George C. Scott from "Patton". They should be renamed the Detroit Pussies, but vaginas everywhere would find that offensive, too.
It's amazing that just a few short years ago, the Lions made it to the playoffs. However, it's heartbreaking that team GM Bob Quinn fired the best head coach the team had in over 50 years, Jim Caldwell, simply because he wanted to turn the Lions into his old team, the New England Patriots. So, he hired longtime Patriots Defensive Coordinator Patricia Matthew in hopes of taking the Lions to the next level.
Instead, the Lions are so bad that they're making the Bears look good.
What's tragic is that when her husband died, team owner Martha Ford took the Lions by the horns and proved that she could be a better owner than him. When the team went 1-7 at the beginning of the season in 2015, she cleaned house. At the end of the season, they went 6-2, though they missed the playoffs. Caldwell was canned in 2017 despite going 9-7. Now, he's the assistant coach for the lowly Miami Dolphins, a lose-lose for everybody.
Without a doubt, It's now time for 94-year-old Ms. Ford to clean house again. With the Turkey Day game looming against Da Bears, I would imagine a lot of Detroiters rooting for Chicago. The current incarnation of the Lions is simply like watching a preview for a new movie where they say "from the producers of (insert awesome movie or TV show here)". But when the movie's released, it's the biggest pile of horseshit one has ever seen in their lives. The Lions are coached by the longtime Defensive Coordinator of the Super Bowl-winning Patriots. But, the Lions are playing like... the Lions.
The Detroit Lions: rebuilding since 1957.
---
--
Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ chuck69dotcom@gmail.com. All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!
No comments:
Post a Comment