11.4.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Judy Rose

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Judy Rose
Age: was 80
Occupation: dead
Last Seen: hell
Bee-otched For: being one of the biggest cunts in Grand Rapids history
 

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I know, I know. It's never nice to spit on the dead.

It's never nice to wish cancer or a disease on somebody, even if it's your worst enemy.

But sometimes, there are exceptions.

Last week, I was writing on the mayoral election in Grand Rapids, which is tomorrow. I asked myself, "what happened to Judy Rose?" Well, a Google search discovered that she died in March.

Funny how that when Judy Rose died, the media never really paid attention to her passing. After all, she was viewed as a community leader as the president of the Black Hills Citizens for a Better Community. Black Hills is one of Grand Rapids' toughest neighborhoods, and Judy, let's say, was like Clint Eastwood's character in "Gran Torino"; they were the only white folks in their neighborhood when people of color moved in.

So why am I happy that this old bitch died? Because of her, Grand Rapids no longer has strip clubs.

That's right! In 2006, when a hybrid full-nude and topless club opened called Showgirl Galleria, Rose raised thousands of dollars to challenge the city's nudity laws. To make matters worse, she got the city's then-future Democratic mayor and then-city commissioner, Rosalynn Bliss to side with her. A long-standing rumor had it that Rose got a lot of her funding from the Devos family since she appeared in one of Dick Devos' gubernatorial campaign ads that year.

Since the anti-nudity laws passed, two topless clubs, Sensations and Parkway Tropics are now bikini clubs, the full-nude Red Barn closed and Showgirl Galleria has been demolished for overpriced luxury apartments.

Guess what? THERE'S NO FUCKING LINK BETWEEN CRIME AND STRIP CLUBS!!! Look at Traverse City: hardly any crime and there's a full-nude club called Fantasy's that does quite well. Hell, there's another club, Crossroads in Rapid City that's been a topless club for decades. Yeah, TC has its problems, but nothing like Grand Rapids. Another lie is that strip clubs are hellholes for prostitution. SURPRISE! THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY HAS MORE PROSTITUTES THAN THE STRIP CLUB INDUSTRY! Since waitresses live on tips, sometimes, they don't get any, especially if they give somebody lousy service. So, if it's 3 a.m. in the morning and she had a rough night, yep, she'll follow people out who didn't tip and offer them a BJ or even go home with them. Trust me, I have friends who have worked in the strip club industry and know this as a fact.

The sad thing is that since the strip club laws passed, crime in Grand Rapids has SKYROCKETED. Several years ago, there was a shooting in an abandoned business in a plaza. I'm a regular customer at one of the businesses in that building. A few weeks ago, I went there and one of the front counter people was on the phone talking about one of the neighboring businesses in that plaza and how it's a front for somebody's drug-dealing business. He was talking about how they've been busy trying to move out for some time because of the fact that there's been a lot of questionable activity there. Well, guess what? On Saturday night, another party happened there and more gunshots rang out. A 31-year-old father of (ugh) 13 CHILDREN was the 14TH HOMICIDE THIS YEAR IN GRAND RAPIDS. 

I KNOW!!! STRIP CLUBS ARE THE PROBLEM..... NOT! Yeah, like I want to kill somebody because I saw boobs. Kinda like how the cannabis was portrayed in "Reefer Madness" over 80 years ago.

You know, I'll never forget Judy's words in response to strippers potentially losing their jobs: "maybe they should find better jobs." You know, it was 2006 and the economy sucked. I remembered the job I had at the time and the shitty pay I was getting. Then again, I was lucky to even have a job, since my cousins at the time were all living with their parents. You look at the fact that too many college students today graduate with massive amounts of debt. Being a stripper is the only way to pay off that debt in record time. To me, it only shows how soulless she was. I'd also imagine that if she was still alive, she would probably proclaim that we need to send all the blacks back to Africa. As somebody whose mother's boyfriend is African American and is one of the smartest men I've ever known, I would beg to differ.

It's amazing that her obituary stated that she was "reborn" in 1944 and talked about her walk with Jesus. You know, Jesus hung out with worse folks than actual strippers. You know, PROSTITUTES. They say to be more like Jesus, and there you go!

There's a reason why I support strip clubs, folks. When I was a kid, I was bullied a lot, mainly by older kids for being chubby. There was a fat girl who was a grade younger than I was and had hygiene issues. She smelled worse than a barn. If I had a new yearbook, these assholes would steal it. In the autographs section, they would vandalize it with "C+W" (as in Chuck + the girl's initial). One time, the "C+W"s were so bad that I had to get a new copy of my yearbook with the autographs kept blank.

When I was eight days shy of my 12th birthday, my parents separated. My Mom and I ended up living with a nasty, 400-lb. woman who turned out to be a prostitute. I never felt comfortable around her, period. Being in a small town never helped, either since everybody knew where I lived.

Throughout my school years, I had hoped for a girl to like me for who I was. Often, I went to school dances with no girl wanting to dance with me during slow dances. To make matters worse, I had no choice but to take a fat trailer trash ho to the prom. It was one of the most-embarrassing experiences in my life.

But then, I graduated and moved to this area. I was talking with somebody who was going to Deja Vu in Kalamazoo and he was I think 19. I asked him, "don't you gotta be 21?" He told me that you only have to be 18 to enter since they don't serve alcohol and they're full-nude. I went there, and for the first time as an adult, I felt respected by women around my age. I look back and wished I knew about Deja Vu as a senior in high school. Instead of dragging a big, fat, ugly pile of Pentecostal trailer trash to the prom, I should have gone to Deja Vu and come back to school that Monday wearing a Deja Vu shirt. It would be the giant middle finger the girls at my school needed.

You see, it's sad that here I am twenty years later, somebody who makes a good living for himself and has never mistreated a woman and I see women dating and marrying the opposite. And sadly for me, it's too late when they have a kid. I have a cousin who had a daughter with a drunk loser. If she wasn't my cousin, I would NEVER want to date her since I don't want to raise some drunk schmuck's snot-nosed, poopy-pants rugrat. For me, I've had to deal with women who turned out to be royal losers in the end. One used me for my money to aid her drug habit and another was going through a divorce, and her husband cheated on her. Judging by the photos of her 15 years ago and now, I know why he cheated on her.

Sorry to quote the great David Van Driessen, but men have feelings, too. They get hurt. When they feel that the world's against them, they'll do something about it. They can drink to the point of having their liver explode or they can go to a strip club and pay some young college girl to rub against them. You know, my maternal grandfather's father died when he was only nine years old. He spent his younger years without a male role model in his life since his mother remarried multiple times in his youth. He served in the Navy in World War II and when he was discharged, he suffered from what doctors called "shellshock". All they told him was "go home, grow up and be a man". Of course, these days, they call it something else: PTSD. Because of this, he turned to alcohol. It ruined his first marriage, which my mother came out of. Maybe because of his drinking - and the alcoholism that has also ravaged other parts of my family - that I never became a heavy drinker.

You see, it's a shame that I live in the second-largest region in Michigan and I don't have a girlfriend or any prospects. If I want to see pussy, it's an hour drive to either Muskegon, Lansing or Kalamazoo (Deja Vu Lansing's better of the three). Hell, I have a cousin who was in the same boat I was when he lived here. As soon as he moved to Detroit, he got a girlfriend, married her, and now they have two kids with one on the way. It clearly shows that if a man like me can't get a girl here, it's not my fault.

It's too bad that Judy Rose didn't die sooner, like say, twenty years ago, or else this city would still have strip clubs. The only good news is that the Old Dutch Asshole Club is dying off - albeit too slowly - and I hope in the end, people will wake up. To me, a Jebus freak shutting down a strip club is like a Muslim telling a supermarket that they can't sell bacon or a vegetarian or vegan telling that same store that they need to stop selling meat. You don't see that because at least Muslims and non-meat-eaters do show respect for those whose views are different then theirs at least some of the time. OK, so you're Christian and you don't like strip clubs because they - in your feeble mind - deplore women and cause crime. Well, here's my advice: DON'T FUCKING GO TO ONE! Besides, with all the bullshit about children getting raped and pastors flying around in private $60 million jets, thanks, but I'd rather spend time with God's true people.

Thanks, but I'd rather pay off a college girl's tuition than to help a pastor buy lap dances at that same club.

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