Age: 62
Occupation: failed governor
Last Seen: Ann Arbor, MI
Bee-otched for: prepping for a life of bread and water
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After almost a decade, closure might be coming to the long-poisoned city of Flint.
The State of Michigan has filed charges against former Michigan governor pRick Snyder over causing the mostly-African American city to drink dirty, lead-tainted water. When he was governor, Snyder appointed emergency managers in several black majority cities in the state including Flint, Benton Harbor and Pontiac. Basically put, these appointed managers were put in place of elected officials, including the mayor.
In Flint's case, they were paying the City of Detroit to pump water from Lake Huron to them. Well, Snyder decided that Flint should have its own water supply. Too bad that he chose the tainted Flint River as the source. In 2014, Snyder switched the water supply and immediately, people got sick. People died from Legionnaire's Disease and over 10,000 Flint children are now brain damaged from the lead-tainted water. As a matter of fact, GM complained that the water rusted their parts, so the City of Flint switched back to the old system just for them.
Today, most of the lines corroded by the switchover have been replaced, though some 500 lines still need to be inspected. Victims of the Flint Water Crisis have been awarded over $600 million, but that's not enough for some people. Since the crisis began, only one person, state epidemiologist Corinne Miller was convicted for not reporting the Legionnaire's Disease to the public. Her sentence? One year's probation, 300 hours' community service and a $1,000 fine.
One probable reason for Flint switching over to river water was because Snyder allowed Nestle to pump water out of Lake Erie for a mere $200 per year and plop it on store shelves under their "PureLife" label. After all, their CEO even proclaimed that water wasn't even a human right, which I call bullshit on.
Since leaving the governorship in 2019, Snyder has kept a low profile, though he did endorse Joe Biden for president. But, that might not keep him out of jail.
Tragically, pRick Snyder was another failed businessman who threw Gateway under the bus and fucked over American workers. His business strategies did not help Michigan, especially when he fucked over the unions as governor.
Today, our state is governed by Gretchen Whitmer, who just might be the best governor this state's had. I'm happy that we're going in the right direction in terms of COVID-19 and now, sending Snyder to prison where he belongs. It's people like Snyder, Drumpf and others that make me proud that I'll never vote Republican. Sorry, but I like clean water, not having somebody with COVID breathe all over me and good paying jobs, all things that would never happen if Brian Calley was governor.
Snyder won't be just one tough turd, but, his fellow inmates will enjoy watching him take a shit in his cell.
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