10.31.19 Bee-otches of the Day: both Grand Rapids mayoral candidates

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Names: Rosalynn Bliss and Daniel Schutte
Ages: 44, 63
Occupations: mayor, theocratic wackjob
Last Seen: Grand Rapids
Bee-otched For: making this an unvotable election this year
 

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In the world of politics, deciding which candidate is best is like deciding which is better: AIDS or terminal cancer.

OK, so there's people with both who have had prolonged lives thanks to years of advancement in medicine. But still, both are deadly.

In the 2016 election, it was a tough call, too. It was the orange, pussy-grabbing shitgibbon whose supporters are xenophobic losers, or the establishment who is pretty much a DINO.

Sadly, it's the situation where there's two people running for any office. Even the person who seems to be the lesser of all evils is still evil.

Take this year's election for Grand Rapids mayor. Rosalynn Bliss is a Democrat and seems to be the lesser of all evils. She's telling people that she wants more affordable housing in town and a better relation between citizens and the police. But to me, she's a DINO.

That's Democrat in Name Only, mind you.

Yes, Grand Rapids seems to be somewhat more affluent than what it was 10 years ago. But, there's some trouble spots. Shootings are on the rise, cell phone stores are getting robbed all the time and there seems to be more bums on street corners these days. Wages have risen - especially for me - though there's spots in town where the rent for a studio apartment is well-past $1,000 per month.

And part of it, sadly, is because of a retarded law Bliss helped pass as a city commissioner in 2006.

For years, I've talked about how angry I've been about Grand Rapids' strip club laws. Since 2006, no club within Grand Rapids city limits are allowed to show full nudity. Because of this, many of the clubs still open have been downgraded to bikini clubs. The ordinance was because of a nasty old cunt named Judy Rose (whom I'm proud to announce died this year) who felt that strip clubs were evil. A new club called Showgirl Galleria opened, featuring full-nudity on one side of the club and topless nudity on another, which allowed patrons to drink. She challenged the city's strip club laws and raised over $80,000 to do so from an anonymous donor. Many believed it was from the Devos family since she appeared in a commercial for Dick Devos' (Betsy's husband) failed gubernatorial campaign.

While all this was going on, the owners of embattled strip club Parkway Tropics invited then-city commissioner Bliss to their club to prove to her that they were a legitimate operation. She declined, and not long afterward, she helped to sign the strip club ban into law.

The sad thing is that Bliss' mayoral campaign is getting funds from the neoliberal crowd and even a few to the right. What's even more pathetic is that her opponent is a bigger asshole.

Enter Republican Daniel Schutte, a pastor who helped to start several churches in Grand Rapids and internationally. If elected mayor, Schutte announced that he would "make Grand Rapids a sanctuary city for the unborn" and encourage prayer to solve the world's problems.

Schutte reminds me of Opal Covey, a scary old bitch who ran for mayor of Toledo some years back and thankfully lost. She talked in tongues and told the city that if she wasn't elected mayor, God would come to Toledo to destroy the city. Well, we're still waiting.

So now, the people of Grand Rapids have a dilemma: vote for a religious look or vote to a woman who bows to them. My inner Dale Gribble thinks that it's all a conspiracy to make Bliss the de facto winner of
Tuesday's election. Nobody - even the biggest of all Jebus freaks - would vote for a kook like Daniel Schutte. It only makes me happy that I don't live in the city of Grand Rapids, but a suburb instead.

Rosalynn Bliss and Daniel Schutte, thank God I will not C U Next Tuesday.

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