BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!
Name: Darren Arriens
Age: was 52
Occupation: former radio personality and programmer
Last Seen: in a morgue
Bee-otched For: falling victim to karma
Age: was 52
Occupation: former radio personality and programmer
Last Seen: in a morgue
Bee-otched For: falling victim to karma
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not nice to piss on one's grave.
It's not nice to laugh at somebody who died of cancer, or AIDS or in this time around, COVID-19. But, when they help to take something you loved dearly and took a sledgehammer to it, you'll never think highly of them ever again.
In the 1990s, the one radio station I admired the most was WKLQ 94.5 here in Grand Rapids. It had Howard Stern in the morning and kickass rock the rest of the day, plus, DJs who didn't mind sharing a beer with you at the bar. Living in northern Michigan, I wished I could have listened to it more often. Of course, there was a now-defunct and very shitty country station at 94.3 called "The Bee" (no relation to B93) that blocked it. There was another shitty country station at 94.5 in Mount Pleasant that also did an awesome job making sure that I didn't get to listen to WKLQ. But, that's what happens when you're forced to live in an area where the only rock station is run by morons from North Dakota, managed by a schmuck from Grand Rapids and use a boneheaded, annoying lezbo as their programmer. One time, I was able to hear KLQ during a hot summer night. They were airing some goth/industrial program and heard The Cure and Lords of Acid's "Pussy". Ah, good times.
Thankfully, I moved to west Michigan in 2000. First, it was to attend school for a year and again in 2002 and have been there since. KLQ at the time was well-programmed by the great Mark "The Head" Feurie. Back then, they embraced nu-metal and the hard rock and metal that embraced rock radio at the time.
And then, it all went to hell.
By 2002, KLQ's general manager had began to sink his claws into the station. Matt Hanlon demoted Howard Stern around Christmastime to their shitty, low-powered AM station WBBL 1340. The station even started to butcher Stern's show, airing commercials at the wrong time and even cutting the show off at 10 a.m. sharp to go back to ESPN programming. Rumor had it that KLQ was looking to re-hire the morning show they had from the 1980s until 1994-ish, hosted by Scott Winters and the now-late Rick Beckett. The two had been fired from 97.9 WGRD for poor ratings, plus Beckett's problems with drugs and alcohol, which ultimately triggered his diabetes, which killed him in 2009 at age 54.
Throughout the 2000s, Hanlon was making mistake after mistake not just with KLQ, but with Citadel's other stations. His only achievement was with 97 LAV. Otherwise, all of his stations were getting defeated by their competitors. Moving KLQ to 107.3 was not a good move, either, since that frequency does not cover Kalamazoo.
The programming director chair was like musical chairs thanks to Hanlon. Mark Feurie was fired and replaced with Hunter Scott, who co-hosted a Stern clone afternoon show called Man-Made Radio with a guy named Sean Kelly.
Now, enter Darren Arriens.
When Scott was fired from KLQ, Arriens replaced him. Unfortunately, KLQ by then had become a shadow of itself and Darren was only making things worse. Apparently, edgier bands like Rage Against the Machine were demoted to nighttime airplay only while thanks to the Airhead, acts that should NEVER be played on an Active Rock station like Billy Squier, Ted Nugent and Lynyrd Skynyrd made their way onto the playlist. Thanks to the work of Matt Hanlon, Darren Arriens and Citadel brass, KLQ's ratings dipped 75%. To add more to the embarrassment, one former KLQ jock told me that when he came to KLQ, Arriens looked like he came from market #347, complete with a mullet.
In all fairness, Arriens *did* program Buzz 95, Lansing's awesome, yet, short-lived rock station (IIRC, the owners of Q106 bought it to simply shut it down). He also worked at WIOT 104.7, Toledo's heritage butt rock-friendly station.
Arriens left KLQ in the late 2000s for sunny Tucson where he ran down a classic rock station, KHYT. After Arriens left, KLQ was still struggling with Michael Grey at the helm. In 2009, KLQ left the airwaves for good. Hanlon was fired when Cumulus bought out Citadel and left Grand Rapids for good not long after he was arrested for drunk driving in 2012.
Well, Hanlon eventually ended up in Charlotte, NC where he began running Entercom's cluster of stations. Not long after he took control of Sports WFNZ, 50KW News/Talk WBT and Hot AC 107.9 The Link, guess whom Hanlon hired to help him run the cluster? Why, it's Darren Arriens! Of the three stations Entercom has in Charlotte, only WBT has good ratings because, you know, Rush. Obviously, WFNZ's ratings suck because most Sports stations don't have good ratings, plus Charlotte is stuck with two shitty sports teams.
Now, 107.9 The Link had been a very successful soccer mom music station for years. The station's the homebase of the nationally-syndicated Bob and Sheri Show, which mostly airs on smaller radio stations. Here in Michigan, the show tanked on a few stations, like 106.7 The Peak in northern Michigan. Currently, only one Michigan station carries the program, and it's tiny WQBX 104.9 in mid-Michigan.
Since Hanlon hired Arriens, The Link has been the stink; in their last ratings book, the station has tumbled to a puny 2.4. It's clear that The Link is simply a radio station that 1990s soccer moms loved, but their children sure as hell don't want to be caught dead listening to two old boomers like Bob and Sheri (Bob, BTW is 71). But considering that the first morning show that Hanlon had on 105.3 Hot FM here in GR was the puke-worthy Dave and Geri, anything is possible.
Now, Hanlon's little friend is gone.
Darren Arriens died last week at the age of 52 from COVID-19. Apparently, he also had some underlying health issues which increased his chance of dying.
Now, I personally never knew Arriens the man. Some people *did* like him. Hell, even the female half of their afternoon team of Matt and Ramona released a tear-filled video paying tribute to their fallen boss.
The reality is simple: when a radio station suit utters "it's time to go in a different direction", it usually translates to the wrong way. KLQ's idiotic changes made by Hanlon, Arriens and other idiots did NOTHING but alienate their long-time fans. Hell, before their end, the only person I knew who still LOVED KLQ was a moron I worked with who reminded me of Mater from the Cars movies. Sadly, he loved Opie and Anthony and even asked me one time, "do you know that sound effect they use on O&A that..." Yeah, like I care about two fucking Stern clones whose ratings on KLQ pretty much consisted of him and maybe a few other folks. Not only that, but Anthony Cumia is a fucking asshole for making racist posts on Twitter about a black woman who kicked his ass, plus the fact that he assaulted his girlfriend. Good thing that not only O&A are off KLQ, but SiriusXM as well.
THANK GOD WGRD made the right move by hiring Jerry Tarrants to fix the station. In the 2000s, GRD was a wussy Alternative station without a decent morning show when Rick and Scott were canned. The S&M Morning Show with Stephanie Webb (now at HSN) and Michael Grey (now at some station in BFE, Montana) proved to be a short-lived dud. And guess where Grey ended up? KLQ! GRD knew that KLQ was damaged goods, plus the fact that Alternative was simply not working well in Grand Rapids, period. Adding Free Beer and Hot Wings and shitcanning a lot of the wuss music HELPED GRD. Hell, they were #1 in the ratings at one point! True, GRD was never as cool as pre-Hanlon KLQ - especially now - but seeing them succeed over the destruction Hanlon did to KLQ was well worth it. It's proof that the Active Rock format is alive and well in the Furniture Capitol.
As for Darren Arriens, all I can say is that he's one less person whom radio is now safe from.
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Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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