Bee-otch of the Day: March 2021

Wednesday, March 31, 2021

3.31.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Dave Ramsey

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Dave Ramsey
Age: 60
Occupation: money guy
Last Seen: Nashville
Bee-otched For: playing God

--

The good news is that Rush Limbaugh is no longer around to spread lies and horseshit.

The bad news is that he has his minions. Lots of them. And even the ones that aren't that political are still assholes on the hacked-up medium known as AM radio.

One person is Dave Ramsey, a right-winged asshole who has been a rockstar when it comes to financial advice to many. His self-syndicated radio show is heard on some 600 radio stations on a barter basis and has 14 million weekly listeners. Locally here in Grand Rapids, both iHeartMedia AM stations carry his show; WTKG 1230 airs it live from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. while the more-powerful WOOD-AM/FM carries it from 6-9 p.m.

Dave is known for mixing in financial advice and biblical verses that deal with money. As a matter of fact, he made headlines some years ago when he appeared on The 700 Club to proclaim that the Bible has more verses other than "it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven" that deal with being rich. Without naming verses, he simply said that you just have to look.

Without a doubt, Dave is somebody who thinks that one can live on meager wages. He keeps saying shit like "you don't need this" and "you don't need that". Now, he's telling his employees that they don't need pussy, either.

Court documents have revealed that Ramsey fired nine employees just because they had premarital sex. Caitlin O'Connor was an administrative assistant with Ramsey's company until she was fired last June allegedly because she was unmarried and pregnant. According to sources, Ramsey's company has something called a 'righteous living' edict, meaning that their employees should all live a Christian lifestyle according to Ramsey's standards. On his website, Ramsey admits that he will fire employees if they engage in any extramarital affairs.

Ramsey reportedly banned masks in his office because to him, they look "threatening". Yeah, like God is going to protect us all from COVID-19.

So why is Ramsey judging people like this? Because apparently, he can. Tennessee is an 'at-will' state, meaning that an employer can fire you for just about anything. According to Ramsey, he says that he can fire one for having green eyes.

The sad truth is that Dave Ramsey is a douchebag who thinks that us Americans can live on ramen noodles and drive around in a POS that came from Division Ave. here in Grand Rapids. As someone who made less than $10 per hour for ten years, I digress. He thinks that we need to follow his "baby steps to financial freedom". Personally, they only work when you have money.

Look, I had credit card debt for years. It prevented me from buying a house. One reason for my debt was because my ex-boss was just like Ramsey: a right-winged asshole. Instead of giving us raises, he threw us all in front of one of Ramsey's videos where he explained his 'baby steps'. I tried it once, but guess what? IT ONLY WORKS IF YOU GET PAID A DECENT WAGE.

As I mentioned many times, my ex-boss was forced into retirement by his partner after he damn near bankrupted the company. After he was ousted, the company's financial health healed and since then, I'm now getting paid twice of what I was getting paid with the ex-boss. A lot of my credit card debt was paid off, though my father ended up helping me because we're looking to buy a house together and wanted me to have a better chance for a mortgage.

The point is, is that Dave Ramsey - whose net worth is around $200 million - wants his followers to be happy with nothing. Not long ago, he made a post that you should only buy a automobile you can afford and not finance it. In his words, "nobody will judge you by what car you drive". Newsflash: PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU BY WHAT YOU HAVE, PERIOD, END OF STORY. Because of the fact that I was so broke in my early years that I lived in a cheap apartment for years. People would come in and actually ask me, "why haven't you bought a house yet?" Look, I've been on my own for 19 years and the first ten of those years were tough because of the aforementioned last boss. I worked for him for ten years not because I wanted to, it was because I had to. Before my ex-boss, I was up in northern Michigan washing dishes and stocking shelves. I never had a silver spoon in my mouth. When I entered the work force, I was told that I would be making the big bucks within five years. I was lied to and I was the one who paid the price. I even donated plasma for a short time to help with finances.

Folks, this is why we need a dire increase in the minimum wage. The price of everything - rent, food, gas, you name it - is going up. Here in Grand Rapids, rent is so high that some people are now squatting. But, in Dave Ramsey's world, "you don't need that smartphone!" "You don't need that car! Take the bus!"

Here's a question for Dave Ramsey: WHO MADE YOU GOD? We're all sinners. If man is five and the devil is six, then God is seven. My father and I went to a church 25 years ago that had a singles ministry. And guess what? My father and another woman had a sexual relationship. Even more, SHE CHEATED ON HIM! I've learned long and hard that evangelical Christian women tend to be horny sluts. I went to a more-liberal church and there weren't many women my age and a lot of LGBTQ+ people.

Look, when you're an employer and you have a negative culture at your business, people will know. If you fire people for stupid reasons, people will hate you, end of story. This is why I avoid anything that involves the words "we promote Christian values". To me, it says "we judge and do things Jesus doesn't approve of". Personally, instead of seeking advice from a heretic like Dave Ramsey, real people simply need a raise and not be forced to live in a room in the ghetto.

At least us Americans took one giant baby step last year and got rid of Drumpf.

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Tuesday, March 30, 2021

3.30.21 Bee-otches of the Day: people who still are ignoring COVID-19

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: COVID? What's that?!?

--

Normally this time of year, millions of people are going out for that time-honored tradition known as Spring Break.

For many, it means going down to Florida and getting a tan and partying with millions of strangers. But, it also means getting the 'rona.

When Pfizer put their vaccine on the market, states jumped the gun. They opened up with no mask required. The end result: a spike in COVID-19 cases.

I know someone who works at a hotel for dogs and there's no room left at the inn. They're booked solid. Many of these idiots are going down to Florida, Texas and other states with relaxed rules. Here in Grand Rapids, when the pandemic began, you could see tumbleweeds rolling down 28th Street. Today, that same road is loaded with vehicles. And many of those people are probably out despite their trip not being totally necessary.

Just today alone in Michigan, 6,306 new cases of COVID were reported. In America, it was nearly 52,000. Eight states now have over a million COVID cases. Since the pandemic began, nearly one out of ten Americans have been diagnosed with COVID. To make matters worse, it's one out of 61 people worldwide.

Here in America, we politicize COVID because we allow the Fox "News"es of the world to sensationalize the news and tell us lies. Many believe in the lies and because of this, we're the laughingstock of the world. Because of this, we have too many fucking people who all think that COVID is a hoax while people die because they don't do their part. They don't mask up, they don't wash their hands, they don't socially distance and so on.

Folks, I don't want to hear "oh, the vaccines don't work because of the jump in cases!" No. The reason for the increase is because of the fact that it ain't over, but we pretend it is. We still need to wear a mask, we still need to stay six feet away from others and we still need to wash our hands. Most-importantly, we need to get our shot when the time is right, and I'm happy to say that my first shot will be tomorrow.

People, knock it off with unproven conspiracy theories and lies. America - and the world - needs to heal from this disease. I want to live a real life again and I want to do it safely. COVID is real, and it will kill. If you don't need to go anywhere, don't go anywhere. Just sit back and watch TV. Yes, we've all gained weight since the pandemic began, but it will end if we all wake up and take things seriously.

If we all do what's right, 2022 will kick ass.... HARD.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, March 29, 2021

3.28.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Brian Kemp

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Brian Kemp
Age: 57
Occupation: governor
Last Seen: Atlanta, GA
Bee-otched For: letting Jim Crow fly free

--

We all know how an automobile works: (D) means drive and (R) means reverse.

The same goes with the world of politics.

When Joe Biden won Georgia in the 2020 Presidential Election, it was a stunner that a traditionally Republican state would vote for a Democrat. As a matter of fact, nearly 12,000 more votes were in Biden's favor over Drumpf.

And boy, did it piss off governor Brian Kemp.

Kemp - who has been the state's governor since 2019 - signed into law tougher voter restrictions on Thursday that many critics - like myself - simply bring a return of Jim Crow laws. It limits absentee voting, restrict voting boxes - meaning that when county offices close at 5 p.m., you cannot put your ballot in the box and it forces voters to put in their IDs when voting. All this means increases voting in person, which means that you'll get thirsty and hungry while standing in long lines. Well, good luck, because giving out food and beverages in voter lines will now be banned.

Kemp signed the bill into law in his private office with several white male lawmakers standing behind him. Ironically, Kemp signed the bill with a painting of an old plantation where slaves worked behind him. Many of us were heartbroken watching State Rep. Park Cannon get arrested while banging on the governor's door. Surely, this bill is nothing more than a power grab by the Rethugs to regain power in Georgia by slapping duct tape on the mouths of African Americans, who make up 30% of the state's population.

Bear in mind that Kemp is the same governor who signed into law the "heartbeat bill" which banned abortions when the fetus develops a heartbeat. Because of this, many productions pulled out of Georgia, including The Walking Dead and several Netflix shows like Stranger Things, whose Starcourt Mall scenes were all shot at the dying Gwinnett Place Mall in the Atlanta suburb of Duluth.

What's even more tragic is that other states signed similar bills to the heartbeat bill. Now, other states are crafting similar bills to the Georgia voting bill because Drumpf was pissed that he lost. Absentee voting should be the wave of the future because it's convenient and easy, whereas voting in person resorts to long lines and having to skip work for many. For others, the nearest voting center is too far away and for others more, they don't have any ID. And if you think it's an issue among blacks, guess what? I have a cousin in New York City who has never driven before and he's WHITE!

It's pathetic that Georgia was the home state of Martin Luther King, Jr. and that Kemp is from Athens, the home of two of rock's most-leftest bands: The B-52's and REM. It's also pure bullshit that Kemp is a Republican, which once upon a time was the party of Lincoln. Georgia is also the home of the great Jimmy Carter, who was probably the-most-progressive president of the past 50 years. Yet, people like Kemp and now-former Michigan governor pRick Snyder have proven to the world that the Repukes are now the polar opposite of Lincoln. Do you live in a heavily-black city? We're gonna fuck up your water. Wanna vote Democrat? Tough shit. Hell, I remembered when Snyder tried to ban straight ticket voting and got overturned in the process.

Today, I feel bad for Georgia and other states who have voted Republican and are now getting fucked. I hope that in 2022, we can get assholes like Brian Kemp, Mike DeWine, Greg Abbott, Ron DeSantis and too many others out of their offices and get decent governors who care about their people. Sadly, I'll betcha that too many of those douchebags will trump for Drumpf and will try to get him back in the White House. If that happens, say hello to 1929 again.

Oh and BTW, Kemp is now in quarantine because he was exposed to COVID-19. Boo-fucking-hoo.

I can clearly tell that the people of Georgia aren't "Shiny Happy People".

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, March 25, 2021

3.25.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Spencer Cox

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Spencer Cox
Age: 45
Occupation: governor
Last Seen: Salt Lake City, UT
Bee-otched For: being a moron

--

As we all know by now, ten people died this week as they shopped at a King Soopers in Colorado.

The suspect, a 21-year-old Syrian immigrant, had a history of mental and anger issues. Yet, somehow, he got access to an AR-15. Clearly, there's a need for more gun control in America.

But to the Republicans, porn is worse.

On Tuesday, Spencer Cox, the governor of Utah, signed legislation that orders all smartphones and tablets sold in the state to have porn filters automatically on. But, the act will not pass unless five other states enact similar laws.

The bill was sponsored by state rep. Susan Pulsipher, who is an anti-porn advocate (and somebody who looks like Hillary Clinton's ugly twin). Sadly, Michigan also played a role in the measure. An organization called "Protect Young Eyes", headed by one Chris McKenna, said that they helped with the bill's creation. McKenna claims that most smartphones have porn filters, but they are hard to turn on. Under their legislation, all smartphones and tablets would already have the filters on. They claim that it's to "protect children" from porn.

And guess what? McKenna wants Michigan to be the next state to pass his law. As long as Big Gretch is governor, it hopefully will never happen.

Already, many have called the idea unconstitutional, including the ACLU. One porn star, Cherie DeVille also called on governor Cox to veto the measure because it infringes on constitutional rights.

Of course, this is Utah we're talking about. A state where the local NBC affiliate tape-delays Days Of Our Lives to 1 a.m. in the morning because the show has a gay couple. A state where in 2000, the local UPN affiliate dropped the network because there were too many shows geared towards African Americans. To add insult to injury, guess who owned that station, KJZZ? Larry Miller, the owner of the Utah Jazz! If I were the NBA, I would have yanked his franchise away from him (he died in 2009 while his widow, Gail, sold the team to billionaire Ryan Smith in 2020). A few years ago, the state legislature called pornography a "health risk", similar to Florida. As a matter of fact, I fondly remembered when survivors of the Parkland shooting massacre went to the state capitol in Florida to talk to state legislators to get tougher gun laws passed. Instead, they were pushed to the side while they declared porn as an "emergency" instead.

Utah and Florida's anti-porn stance reminds me of an old Simpsons episode when the family gets free cable, including a porn channel. The announcer claimed that it was not available in Florida or Utah. Ah, yes, Florida, where 2 Live Crew got arrested simply for performing "Me So Horny" in front of a crowd.

As I've mentioned way too making fucking times, the Rethugs are only interested in the peanuts when the elephants walk by. When Justin Timberfake accidentally yanked off Janet Jackson's bustier during the Super Bowl Halftime Show in 2004, they overreacted and made it tougher to broadcast free speech over the FCC-mandated airwaves. But when 30 kids were murdered at Sandy Hook, they did nothing. Here in Grand Rapids, if you want to look at naked women, you have to drive to either Muskegon or Lansing to do so (I'm not sure about the status of Deja Vu in Kalamazoo nowadays). But, I live just a stone's throw away from "Mr. Gun Dealer" where I can buy a Glock to make it easier for somebody like me to force a woman to take her clothes off.

Look, I picked up my first Playboy when I was 13. Not long afterward, while visiting a family member's house, I picked up one of his issues of Club Magazine. It was the first time I ever saw people having real sex. But guess what? It didn't make me want to go out and rape a young girl, like some idiot Jebus freaks think would happen.

However, I do agree that with younger children carrying tablets and smartphones these days, that the manufacturers of those devices should teach parents how to lock out adult sites. Same thing with TV manufacturers and the "V-Chip". But, I'm an adult and I don't need Rethugs treating me like a little kid just because of their twisted views on religion. Many Muslims shop at regular grocery stores, but don't buy pork because it's against their religion. Do they force-feed their beliefs onto others because they can't eat bacon? NO! Well, that's the problem with Christians, Moron-er, Mormons and other Jebus freaks. They try to throw us into a guilt trip that's on par with what was exposed in propaganda films like "Perversion For Profit", which BTW, was funded by convicted felon Charles Keating.

The good news, like I said, is that this law may never be passed since most people know that most forms of porn are indeed protected under the First Amendment. If you have a problem with adult entertainment, don't buy it and don't go to a strip club. This is a free and democratic society. End of story.

It's a shame when the party of less government is telling us that we need more.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

3.24.21 Bee-otches of the Day: The Republican Party

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: The Republican Party
Age: 167
Occupation: right-wing morons
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: not having their priorities straight (so what else is new?)

--

Another day, another mass shooting.

As we unfortunately have all heard by now, a balding man scantily clad in boxers opened fire at a King Soopers Supermarket in Boulder, Colorado, killing ten innocent people. These people were simply there to buy groceries only to die for no reason.

The shooter, 21-year-old Ahmad Al Aliwi Alissa used a Ruger AR 556 pistol to assassinate his victims, including policeman Eric Talley, who shielded people from Alissa's bullets. Talley leaves behind seven children.

Alissa's victims all ranged from 20 to 65 years old, six women and four men, all white.

According to those who knew Alissa, he had mental issues. He was a loner and had few friends. In high school, the Syrian refugee was constantly being bullied for being a Muslim. In 2018, he was charged with third degree assault on a classmate at his school. A police report stated that the classmate called him racial slurs, so Alissa walked over to him and cold-cocked him in the head.

A police affidavit said that Alissa purchased the Ruger - which resembles an AR-15 - legally on March 16.

What's sad is that Alissa was born a year or two after another mass shooting in Colorado: Columbine. Like Alissa, Kyle Harris and Dylan Klebold were loners with few friends. But, they had access to the guns that killed 15 people including themselves. Thirteen years later, it was James Holmes' turn, as he killed 13 people as they watched "The Dark Knight" at a theater in Aurora, CO.

It's a sad state of affairs when people with mental issues go out and buy guns that are designed to kill others. It's one thing owning a rifle for deer hunting, but to kill others is a wake-up call that needs to be addressed.

The question is, will the government do a damn thing about it, especially now that all three sections are run by the Democrats?

President Biden has already cried out that it's time to toughen gun laws once and for all and I agree. Thank God for Uncle Joe. If Drumpf was still in charge, he'd probably kick all Muslims out of America. But, it would only cause more copycat crimes.

I totally agree that it's time to do something in regard to gun laws. However, gun nuts and right-winged losers alike will do what they do best: care about the peanuts while the elephants walk by. When Janet Jackson accidentally showed her breast in front of millions watching on TV, they did something. But, when another mentally disturbed person shot and killed 30 children at Sandy Hook, nothing was done.

And sadly, nothing will be done.

Right now, the Senate needs 60 votes to get any kind of gun legislation passed. Problem is, is that there's only 50 Democrats and getting 10 Repukes to jump on board with the Dems is like dragging a horse to water. Many Repukes like Ted Cruz all think that improving gun control is simply creating a road to the end of the 2nd Amendment.

Look, we didn't have AR-15s in 1776. The reality is that the right thinks that if it shoots bullets, it's a gun. But, AR-15s are designed to kill multiple people all at once. And for the way-too-many massacres that have happened in the past 20-odd years, it's the gun of choice for all those who use it.

Sadly, with the King Soopers shooting this week and the spa shootings in Atlanta last week, the Rethugs have won again. When will this madness stop? Sadly, there's no easy answer, given that our country's health system's fucked and the fact that it's easier for someone who needs help to shoot their troubles away vs. getting the help they need.

Maybe it needs to start with us. It's sad when schoolkids look at a person of color and they make jokes about it. Some of these punks probably listened to one of Drumpf's speeches and thought that it was OK to attack this poor kid for having a weird name. The #1 cause of people getting mental issues, IMHO is other people.

The Republican Party: because unless it's in a woman's womb, people don't matter.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

3.23.21 Hero of the Day: Bill "The Captain" Vogel

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Bill Vogel
Age: was 68
Occupation: former radio personality and announcer
Last Seen: up there
Awarded For: being quite possibly the greatest northern Michigan jock ever

--

In 1974, a radio station owner in Charlevoix, MI named Terry Edgerton received a phone call from a man from Detroit who cross-country skiing up north for the weekend.

The 22-year-old DJ, named Bill Vogel, worked at stations in Lansing and now was at WDRQ in Detroit. One would think that the young jock was crazy wanting to go from working for a radio giant in Detroit to an upstart 5,000-watt AM daytimer in a town of 3,000 folks. But, the 275-mile move paid off in the long run.

That station, WVOY 1270, was one of the first-ever radio stations in northern Michigan history to devote itself to being a Top 40 format full-time. Up until its 1974 sign-on, most of northern Michigan's other stations either aired middle-of-the-road (MOR) music, beautiful music (i.e. Muzak) or block formats, meaning that they did air some pop and rock music either in the afternoon or night. Most radio station owners up north believed that playing "kids music" was the job of 50,000-watt flamethrowers like WLS and WCFL in Chicago or CKLW in Windsor/Detroit. WVOY proved that CHR worked well in somewhat conservative northern Michigan. So well that not long after they signed on, they had competition.

In 1976, WJML 1110 AM/98.9 FM Petoskey's owner, John Harrington died and his family sold the MOR stations to a family from Muskegon who also owned WMUS in that city. WJML had something WVOY didn't: an FM simulcast, which allowed WJML to be on the air 24 hours a day. After the sale was finished, WJML went CHR. Not long afterward, WJML was consistently beating everybody in the ratings.

Eventually, programming guru Tim Moore took over ownership of WVOY and wanted to give them its own FM station to compete with WJML. In 1980, that wish came true with the birth of 106 KHQ. The two stations were neck-and-neck in the ratings throughout much of the early 80s when JML's morning show hosts, Bob and Tom, moved to Indianapolis. Rumor had it that it was Moore who sent that Indy station, Q95 an aircheck of their WJML show. Without Bob and Tom, WJML faltered in the ratings, and eventually went back to an MOR sound, now known as adult contemporary.

During the great WVOY/WJML battle, Vogel handled afternoons on WVOY. I remember hearing that he bought a small boat that only fit four adults on there. He packed it with ten and the boat sank. Therefore, he was christened "The Captain". He also started a commercial voiceover business called Vogelsound which did quite well. Commercials with Vogel's voice were heard all across the north for many, many years, including Glen's Market, Tallberg Chevrolet in Petoskey and Puff's of Petoskey.

But eventually, Vogel found himself at the helm of the Q Morning Zoo for nearly 20 years. His unique blend of humor and trivia made him one of northern Michigan's top jocks. If you were a kid who grew up in the 80s and 90s, his battle cry of "GET THE HECK OUTTA BED!" made sure that you stayed awake. His slurping of the morning's coffee was also a beloved trademark of his. But, he also did a lot of stunts as well, such as telling his audience that he was not going to leave the back of a truck until it was filled with canned goods for the Father Fred Foundation of Traverse City. Some 30 years ago, Vogel also broadcasted non-stop from KHQ's Traverse City studio to raise money to help the less fortunate.

As the 2000s roared in, Vogel shocked his longtime fans when he entered the realm of talk radio, hosting an afternoon program for the Michigan Talk Radio Network while continuing his KHQ morning show (MTRN's stations were forbidden to air Vogel's MTRN show due to a non-compete clause in his contract with KHQ). However, he left KHQ to focus on his MTRN show. It turned out that wasn't a great idea, unfortunately. Years ago, Vogel sent me an email with a scan of one of his paychecks from MTRN. The check was bounced, complete with an NSF stamp. Other hosts followed Vogel out the door, such as Dave Barber, Don Chiodo and Ron Jolly.

But, it wasn't the end of Bill Vogel. His voiceover business was booming, like his voice. Just a few years after his MTRN bust, he was the voice of MadTV during the last two original seasons of the series from 2007-2009. He voiced over what might have been the funniest pregnancy test ad, ever. Bill also reminded us to drink some water while downing shots of Crown Royal and voiced over hundreds - maybe thousands - of regional car dealership ads. Recently, he was the voice of Summit Place KIA here in Grand Rapids.

On Saturday, The Captain's old station, 106 KHQ made the sad announcement on Facebook that Bill Vogel had passed away. He was 68 years old. No word on his cause of death. As of this writing, no official obituary has been posted regarding his passing. On Monday, KHQ's current morning hosts, Robby and Rochelle paid tribute to him by officially naming their studio "The Bill Vogel Studio".

While Robby and Rochelle and KHQ deserve props for showing great sportsmanship in reporting Bill Vogel's passing, the rest of the northern Michigan media deserves a giant kick in the ass for keeping mum. None of northern Michigan's "big two" TV stations - 9&10 and 7&4 - or even the Record-Eagle have reported on Vogel's passing. When a media personality - past or present - dies here in Grand Rapids, the media is on it like white on rice. Traverse City media, however, is one giant joke. Hell, when Michael O'Shea of WCCW fame died a few weeks ago, the local media ignored his passing. Not only that, O'Shea was once an announcer at 7&4 (go to 4:20 in this video)!

Well, it's up to me, I guess, to pay homage to the great Bill Vogel, a man who was given a gift and used it well. So many people who worked with him have said that he was a wonderful man and he will be missed dearly. As for me, another part of my childhood has come and gone.

Rest In Peace, oh Captain our Captain.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, March 22, 2021

3.22.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Marlena Pavlos-Hackney

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Marlena Pavlos-Hackney
Age: 55
Occupation: former restaurateur
Last Seen: seeing steel
Bee-otched For: serving up COVID-19

--

It ain't over, folks.

Yes, there's three vaccines out there that will eliminate your chances of getting COVID-19. But, the amount of people getting infected by the disease is still going up. Just today, 36,000 more Americans got infected with COVID.

To me, the right wing in this country is what's killing us. People who think that the disease is a joke, walking around with no masks might as well be the death of America.

Since the pandemic started, most restaurants have had to learn how to operate at low capacity or just take out. But, some simply don't care, and Marlena Pavlos-Hackney is one of them.

Pavlos-Hackney is the owner of Marlena's Bistro and Pizzeria in Holland, MI, a mostly-conservative city of 33,000 west of Grand Rapids. Last weekend, hundreds of people gathered in front of her now-shuttered restaurant since she's now serving a 93-day sentence for keeping it open during the pandemic.

One person who ate at Marlena's even contracted COVID-19.

On Friday, Pavlos-Hackney was arrested and taken to Ingham County Jail. And guess who was the judge who threw the book at her? Why, it was none other than Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the same judge who sentenced Larry Nassar to 175 years in prison for sex abuse. In court, Aquilina proved to the world that if Judge Judy were to retire or die, she should take her show. While Pavlos-Hackney was asked to take the oath, she called for her lawyer to take the stand instead and Judge Rosemarie simply wasn't gonna take it.

"This isn't Burger King. When the sign changes to Burger King, you can have it your way," proclaimed the Judge.

At the rally to support Marlena on Saturday, a mostly-Republican crowd and many running for office in 2022 talked about her rights being "taken away". One person, Michigan Republican Party co-chairperson Meshawn Maddock proclaimed that instead of making Marlena a martyr that Governor Gretchen Whitmer needs to be investigated for the nursing home policies that left many senior citizens dead during the pandemic.

Other conservatives who are helping Marlena include Steve Ehmann, the son-in-law of *sigh* Betsy DeVos, who donated $2,000 to a GoFundMe page supporting her. Other donations came from barber Karl Manke and mostly no-name people. That GoFundMe page is up to over $240,000 in donations.

The GoFundMe page for Marlena was created by Jon Rocha of Holland. The beginning paragraph of the fundraiser talked about how Marlena escaped communist Poland in 1983 and came to America with a dream of opening her own restaurant. And in the eyes of the far-right, the "totalitarianism" and "authoritarianism" of people like Gov. Whitmer, Attorney General Dana Nessel and others are taking her "rights" away.

Folks, I've said this once and I'll say it again and again until it gets into the thick skulls of everyone: YOU DO NOT HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS IF YOU'RE SIX FEET UNDERGROUND! PERIOD! Marlena is a filthy ho who simply doesn't understand the law. If you get COVID-19, then stay the fuck away from me. I've had many close calls with the disease and don't need to get infected.

What's even more sad is that Marlena is Polish. My ex-stepdad is of Polish descent and is also a conservative asshole. He made my mother put his kids over me when I was a teenager and I paid the price for it. When she married him, I only got to see her once per week. In the end, he divorced her after he bankrupted her. What's even more sad is that after dumping my mother, he married again.... twice. Plus, he inherited a lot of money from his mother when she died and spent it on his own ass while my mom was forced to move into a tiny apartment and drive a car that's on its last legs. Even more head-shaking is that his whole fucking family are drunks and his older brother gave his now-ex-wife Scleroderma when he fucked a prostitute.

I had an ex-boss at a restaurant I worked at who was also Polish and also fucked up, especially with me. She forced me to work with a child molester who was caught giving a blowjob to a six-year-old boy over 30 years ago. However, he said nothing to the policeman who arrested him and the judge in his trial let him go. Several years after I worked at that place, he was arrested again for groping an 11-year-old boy. He ended up spending two years in prison and is now a registered sex offender. Well, it didn't matter to my boss because her then-23-year-old son was dating a 14-year-old girl who was a busser at the restaurant and eventually, they got married. Several times, they would have karaoke night at the restaurant and I would be allowed on stage "because you're not 21", yet, other folks around my age were allowed to.

To add insult to injury, she kept a book of old pictures in the back of the restaurant. Many of the pictures were of her parents' old restaurant from when she was a young girl in the 1960s. Some of the photos were of old minstrel shows they used to throw in the 60s. As I was looking at them, she looked over my shoulder and told me, "yep, we used to have minstrel shows until the (her words, not mine) damn NAACP told us to shut them down". I finally quit the place because they gave all my hours to another lowlife employee much older than I was. That restaurant finally closed just before the pandemic because of weak sales, probably hampered by poor Yelp reviews.

I know, some of you think that I'm racist towards the Polish, but they aren't all bad. Just look at Bernie Sanders. Why many Polish and especially here in west Michigan, Dutch are total assholes is beyond me. People like Marlena Pavlos-Hackney only send a poor example to her own kind by ignoring the law and endangering people. The fact that she's supposedly a "Christian" and tried to skip taking the oath in court shows how royally fucked up she is. If I made the rules, I'd be shipping her cunty ass back to Poland.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three - one to hold the lightbulb and two to turn the ladder. How many Polacks does it take to make people sick? Tragically, only one.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, March 18, 2021

3.18.21 Bee-otch of the Day: John Cooper

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: John Cooper
Age: 46
Occupation: lead singer of Skillet
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: needing to get WAP'd

--

It's no secret that one of the hottest songs from last year was Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP".

For four non-consecutive weeks, it was America's #1 song. Despite a huge lack of top 40 radio airplay (after all, most CHR radio stations are programmed by impotent 50-year-old men), people simply had to embrace that Wet Ass Pussy (which is what "WAP" stands for).

The song was a hit also with critics for allowing women to embrace their sexuality. But of course, some folks have taken it the other way, such as Fox "News" commentator Fucker-er, Tucker Carlson and the dozens of losers who have all bitched to the FCC regarding the so-called "indecency" from their performance of the song from Sunday's Grammys.

But now, count John Cooper in as a member of the "I Hate 'WAP'" Club.

Cooper is the lead singer and bassist of Skillet, one of Christian rock's top bands and successful crossovers. His wife Korey is the group's rhythm guitarist while drummer Jen Ledger also shares vocal duties with John. Seth Morrison rounds out the band as its lead guitarist.

Skillet has been around since 1996 and has been one of the Christian world's most-popular bands, though they started to cross over to the world of secular radio in 2006 with "Whispers in the Dark". Since then, they've scored multiple hits on the Active Rock charts including their 2010 #1, "Awake and Alive".

Their last album from two years ago, "Victorious", featured "Legendary", which was the theme song for WWE's Monday Night Raw.

It's no secret that Cooper is very strict with his religious beliefs and tends to be very conservative. One of his band's songs, "Lucy" was a song about a woman dealing with an abortion. Most of their songs, however, avoid politics and talk about one's relationship with God.

Well, Cooper's got his panties in a wad because of Cardi and Megan's Grammy performance, where the two appear to simulate scissoring during the performance of "WAP". In a ten-minute video posted to YouTube, Cooper compared the performance to Nazi Germany and Hitler. He cried that it all started with Madonna simulating masturbation during her performance of "Like a Virgin" at the 1984 VMAs and it's grown to other female performers like Cardi and Megan.

Simply put, Cooper cries that Hitler wanted to free Germans from the Ten Commandments and it's what Cardi and Megan want as well. OH, BULLSHIT! First off, Cardi B. is a devout Catholic. NO LIE! Second, where in the Ten Commandments does it read "Thou Shalt Not Appreciate Thy Wet Ass Pussy"? The closest I've seen to "sex is bad" is "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", which is being married and having sex with somebody else.

Look. If I hear "WAP" on my Sirius, I crank it up. Skillet, OTOH, is annoying as fuck. To me, they are a soulless butt rock band whose female drummer/singer sounds like a high-pitched chipmunk.

What John Cooper needs to know is that he ain't perfect. His band has sold millions of albums and made millions of bucks pimping a man who told a wealthy young man that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to go to Heaven. He's part of a culture that cries that we need to rid ourselves of sex, yet it's loaded with molesters and scandals left and right.

If you don't like women who are into sex, that's up to you. What's funny is that there's a lot of Christian women out there who are hornier than hell. Hell, when I was a teen, my father hooked up with a woman he met in church and she was a horndog... who ended up cheating on him with her boss and ended up having a daughter together.

Yesterday, we talked about the asshole who killed eight people in Atlanta, claiming that the massage parlors they worked at promoted sex. Personally, I think sexual feelings are normal.

Look at this performance from Pan's People on Britain's Top of the Pops from 1970. Tight outfits and a wedgie here and there. OK, now, look at an episode of American Bandstand from the same year. All the girls on this show were wearing short skirts but no pants. It was apparent that ABC didn't want the young male viewers of AB to go through puberty as quickly as the lads staring at Flick Colby's now-dead butthole on TOTP. Then again, the Brits seemed to have a more-liberal view on sexy girls over us Americans, especially in the 70s and even now.

To me, I view men who want women to not expose their sexual views as misogynistic assholes, and John Cooper is one of them. If I date a woman and she wants to expose herself to me, that's all up to her. I'm not going to be a jerk and get all pissy at her for doing so, like John Cooper would because he's an uptight Jebus freak. But, if you don't feel comfortable with one's sexuality, fine.

But since Skillet's music blows, it's safe to say that John Cooper is a Wonky Ass Prick.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

3.17.21 Bee-otches of the Day: violent conservatives

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: lowlifes
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: being violent conservatives

--

Yesterday, tragedy struck near Atlanta.

A 21-year-old loser named Robert Long, a right-winged asshole bigot, opened fire at three massage parlors around the city, killing eight people, six of them Asian. According to those who knew him, he was into "guns and God". He had planned to go to Florida to open fire at more spas.

Long told police that his shootings were not because of racism, but rather he had an addiction to sex. He also told the cops that he targeted the spas because of the allure they had on him. A former roommate of Long's claimed that he was even in rehab because of his addiction.

The rampage at the targeted spas only adds to the tragedy Asian Americans have been handed because of COVID-19, which was believed to have been started in China. Bear in mind that it was not an actual Chinese person who started the virus' impact on Americans, but rather Americans vacationing overseas.

Now sadly, Long is not the only person on this Earth to be a true menace to our society.

Another 21-year-old, Joshua Docter of the conservative town of Holland, MI has been charged with terrorism for sending threats to President Joe Biden, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Governor Gretchen Whitmer. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel has charged Docter with one count of threat of terrorism and another count of using a computer to commit a crime.

Both crimes are a 20-year felony. Apparently, Docter posted the threats on a website called iFunny, a website loaded with internet memes. It was also discovered that he had instructions on bombmaking on his phone.

It's a shame that two 21-year-olds do something as heinous as wanting to kill people because their views and lifestyles are different. In Long's case, he was a Jebus freak who felt that doing something that Jesus himself taught against was his work. It wasn't. Hell, if you're 21, you think about sex virtually nonstop. To me, sex is a lot more normal than to think about killing people all the time.

As for Docter, look, if you make a threat against killing the POTUS, you should be seeing steel, period. Years ago, I was Facebook friends with my cousin's half-sister. Sadly, she made probably the worst-ever post I've ever read on social media. She posted about President Obama and a trade deal with China. Pissed off, she posted, "will somebody please assassinate this asshole now?" It was sad because when I was a teen, I was FORCED to babysit her. Her father was a fucking white trash loser who tried to kill her mother by running around their shithole trailer with a shotgun. Gee, where do those violent tendencies come from?

It's tragic that now, we have an actual president getting shit done. We're a little bit richer and happier because Biden wants to fix the economy and the nation. However, it's a shame that we judge people by what they look like and not on their intellect. My heart goes to the victims in Atlanta who simply wanted to live a good life in America, but lost it all in the hands of a total loser who used his religion to hurt others and eventually himself. If you use a computer to make threats against others, you're an asshole, period. Sadly, it doesn't shock me because people in Holland are assholes anyway.

In right-winged extremism, there's no happy ending.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, March 16, 2021

3.16.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Savannah Guthrie

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Savannah Guthrie
Age: 49
Occupation: Today anchor
Last Seen: New York, NY
Bee-otched For: being out of touch

--

Once upon a time, The Today Show was a program where people woke up to hear the latest news and info.

For decades, it was the sole morning news show since CBS had good 'ol Captain Kangaroo. Of course, Bob Keeshan hung up his multi-pocket jacket for the last time in 1984 and CBS This Morning expanded to his old 8 a.m. slot. ABC's Good Morning America has been waking people up since 1975.

Over the years, pure legends hosted Today like Hugh Downs, Barbara Walters, Tom Brokaw, Jane Pauley and too many more to mention. Of course, it all started with the great Dave Garroway in 1952, occasionally sidekicked with J. Fred Muggs, a chimpanzee.

Now, NBC seems to be monkeying with what all of that show's ancestors did back in the day.

Today, the beloved morning program is unwatchable at times. One would enter a henhouse and you'd get pure audio of the show. It's nothing more than Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotb chick-chatting for two hours and Hoda coming back for the fourth hour to work with an even worse co-host, Jenna Bush Whore-er, Hager.

Well, last week, Savannah proved to the world how out of touch she is. During an interview with Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen last week, she proclaimed that Americans getting a $1,400 stimulus check is the equivalent of taking a whole bottle of aspirin to cure a headache.

So sayeth a woman who makes $8 million per year and is reportedly worth $30 million.

As President Biden keeps hinting at raising wealthy peoples' taxes - which is definitely needed - I'll betcha that Ms. Guthrie is shaking in her stilettos that SHE and not the middle class schlubs who watch her will be having to pay more in taxes. Same with her employer, Comcast, which is one of the most-bloated companies on Earth.

I've said this once and I'll say it again: AMERICANS NEED MONEY. PERIOD. It's sad that other nations on Earth have given bigger stimulus checks to workers while we wait forever for one measly $1,400 check. But, as Biden has said, you give the middle class - or in this case, those making less than $75,000 per year - money, that money will be reinvested in the economy. BULLSEYE!

Folks, the wealthiest Americans were paying 70 to 90% of their income in taxes in the mid-20th century. During this time, we saw this country grow like cray-cray. We saw interstate highways being built everywhere. Bridges, like the Mackinac Bridge were built, eliminating the need to take extremely long car ferries between the peninsulas. It just goes on and on. But, thanks to Reagan, the wealthy got to see too much money again and people of my generation were fucked.

Sadly, I'm pushing 40 and only now am I planning on getting my first house. My generation (X), along with Y & Z were fucked over by the baby boomers and the fact that they felt that Reagan lowering taxes on the rich was the best answer for America. For years, I was lied to, being told that I will get a raise and not to worry about finances. Well, all that changed over a decade ago when I got into an accident.

The good news is that after my dickhead of an ex-boss retired, I got raises left and right. However, a lot of my paychecks went into paying off credit cards.

In all honesty, I learned a lesson from all this: when a Democrat is president, the world grows. The biggest problem on the planet now is that people like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and others are TOO rich and that the income gap in America is too far and too wide. Republicans like Fucker-er, Tucker Carlson think that "WAP" is the world's worst problem. No, it's the fact that Jeff Bezos gets to sit and relax in his pool with zero problems while his employees at Amazon are having to wear fucking diapers because they don't get a piss break. Or maybe it's the fact that many are wondering when their next paychecks will come.

Savannah Guthrie has nothing to worry about except for one thing: RATINGS! Yep! Today is Good Morning America's bitch. To me, GMA is probably the lesser of all the morning show evils since it's not a yenta-fest and it's not co-hosted by a BFF of Oprah's. But, as long as Savannah's out of touch with her viewers, well, here ya go.

At least they haven't hired Ivanka Drumpf yet.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, March 15, 2021

3.15.21 Bee-otches of the Day: the music industry

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: the music industry
Age: ageless
Occupation: supposed entertainers when it comes to music
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: another shitty Grammys

--

Last night, the Grammys were handed out.

And guess what? I didn't watch one second of it and the world is still spinning.

As usual, the ceremony had its records. Beyonce won some Grammys and so did Taylor Swift. Billie Eilish won Record of the Year and Megan Thee Stallion won Best New Artist.

And if you love rock, you were pretty much spat on.

Once again, the Grammys demoted the rock awards - metal, alternative and regular - to the Junior Varsity section before the actual ceremony. This year's winners were meh at best.

This year's big rock winner was Fiona Apple, whose LP "Fetch The Box Cutters" won Best Alternative Album. Her song "Shameika" won Best Rock Performance. Best Rock Song went to "Stay High" by Brittany Howard, who is also the lead singer of Alabama Shakes. Best Rock Album went to The Strokes' "The New Abnormal", fueled by the hit singles "Bad Decisions" and "The Adults Are Talking", a song they played while campaigning for former presidential candidate Bernie Sanders.

Metal fans were fetched a bone, when Body Count's "Bum-Rush" was awarded the Best Metal Performance, beating out hardcore punkers Code Orange, YouTuber Poppy, the legendary In This Moment and Power Trip, a band still reeling after the passing of lead singer Riley Gale. Of course, this is the same Body Count - led by rapper Ice-T - who gave us the extremely controversial "Cop Killer" nearly 30 years ago.

Granted, this was a shitty year for rock in general since there weren't many huge, huge rock bands with good albums this year (last year was Tool's year, obviously). So, we ended up with not a lot of radio-friendly bands taking home awards. Hell, I even had to Google Brittany Howard's name!

Always every year, there's snubs galore. In the In Memoriam section, yes, Lionel Ritchie performed "Lady" in memory of his dear friend, Kenny Rogers followed by a lengthy list of those who have passed this past year. However, many are infuriated that the Recording Academy didn't do a whole lot when it came to paying tribute to the great Eddie Van Halen. All they did was throw one of his guitars on stage while they played him doing one of his signature solos for 15 seconds. Many complained that the Grammys should have done a better job of paying tribute to EVH, including wrestler and rocker Chris Jericho, who tweeted that he would rather win a Razzie than a Grammy.

Later today, Eddie's son, Wolfgang revealed that the Academy asked him to perform "Eruption" during his father's memorial segment, but he declined. In a statement, WVH - who currently has the #1 song on active rock radio with "Distance" - a heart-tugging tribute to his late father - wrote "I don't think anyone could have lived up to what my father did for music but himself."

Oh, and get this... Guess whose name appeared during the Grammys' In Memoriam roll? *pause so you can grab a puke bucket* DARREN ARRIENS! Yep, the same asshole who helped to run KLQ here in Grand Rapids to the ground. How he got to get honored is beyond me. Bear in mind that he died from COVID-19 and is one of the FEW assholes who got the disease.

You see, this is the fucking Grammys we're talking about. The same fuckers who in 1989 gave a METAL Grammy to JETHRO TULL over Metallica. Every time I hear about that incident, I get PISSED. "Industry professionals" MY ASS.

Well, the Recording Academy got what they deserved: RECORD LOW RATINGS! This year's ceremony was down 53% from last year. Maybe people just simply don't like the shitty music that's out there and that people just simply want good music to win awards as opposed to another Taylor Swift outing where she sings to little girls about how to hate men. If nothing changes before next year music-wise, God help us.

Maybe if "WAP" got a shit-ton of awards, it would make for one awesome broadcast.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Thursday, March 11, 2021

3.11.21 Hero of the Day: Al Jaffee

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

A SPECIAL HERO OF THE DAY!

Name: Al Jaffee
Age: 99 (currently)
Occupation: retired writer and artist
Last Seen: New York, NY
Awarded For: 100 years of making this world a better place

--

If you had a crappy childhood, you have two avenues in life.

One is to grimace all your life about the past and think about the things you wanted to do, but couldn't. The other is to turn pristine, mint condition issues of Mad Magazine into something worthless because you caused the reader to put a crease on the back cover.

Obviously, Al Jaffee chose the latter.

For eight decades, Abraham Jaffee brought joy and laughter to millions of people around the world with his clever sense of humor. Every month, people wondered what Jaffee had spewing out of his brushes that would cause them to have a chuckle or two. Granted, Don Martin was Mad's Maddest Artist. But, Jaffee might as well have been in second place.

For Jaffee, Mad was the childhood he never had. The son of Lithuanian Jewish immigrants in Savannah, GA on March 13, 1921, young Al struggled with the fact that his mother wanted to move back to Lithuania when he was a child. Until he was a teenager, Al alternated between America and Lithuania while his parents fought for control of him and his three brothers. Ultimately, his father and America won while his mother died during the Holocaust. In his teens, Al moved to New York City, where he studied at the High School of Music and Art. There, he studied with future Mad-men like Will Elder, Harvey Kurtzman and Al Feldstein. One now-famous photo shows Al goofing off with Elder.

Upon graduation, Jaffee worked at several comic books and developed many characters for a precursor of Marvel Comics such as Ziggy Pig and Silly Seal. In 1955, Al started working for the young Mad, but left three years later along with friend and editor Harvey Kurtzman. He returned to the magazine in 1958 when the magazines he and Kurtzman worked for, Playboy-owned Trump and Humbug, which Kurtzman owned himself, failed.

At Mad, Jaffee submitted several famous articles over the years, namely his Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. Inspired by the fold-outs in Playboy and National Geographic, he created the Mad Fold-In. He thought it would be a one-off article, but publisher William M. Gaines demanded he submit a Fold-In for every issue since the reader would fold in the back page and then they would have to buy a new issue. Obviously, Jaffee's Fold-In boosted sales of Mad considering that the crease ruined the copy.

Over the years, Jaffee was a man of many feats. He contributed to 500 issues of Mad with only one issue with no article by him between 1964 to 2013. He currently holds the Guinness Record for longest ever career as a cartoonist: 78 years.

But now, Al Jaffee will have another record to be proud of. On Saturday, he will be 100 years young.

In a world where there's too many bad people who live too long, Al is a notable exception. The humor from Mad Kept him young for so long. Maybe that's why he only retired last year at a spry 99.

Sadly, I, like too many Mad fans are outraged that their current owners, AT&T/Warner Media are simply killing the magazine instead of selling it to an owner who care about their readers. Mad was a magazine where you worked for decades and loved it. It was a magazine a father could pass to his son and so on. But, it's simply loaded with reprints and little-to-no new material... save for the Fold-In. After he published a parody of the Mad Fold-In for The Pitchfork Review in 2013, Johnny Sampson was personally commissioned by Al himself to continue with the article. Today - and sadly - the Mad Fold-In is the only new article published by the magazine every month.

Granted, Mad's glory days are extremely far behind them. But, leave it to Al Jaffee to bring so much laughter to generations of us mindless humans. I hope his 100th birthday will be a joyous - and socially distanced - one.

I'll betcha if he was still doing the centennial birthdays for The Today Show, Willard Scott would have ended up turning his segment into an episode of This is Your Life.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

3.10.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Warner Bros.

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Warner Bros.
Age: 98
Occupation: movie studio
Last Seen: Burbank, CA
Bee-otched For: causing a stink

--

This story stinks.

For centuries, the skunk has been nature's most-imperfect animal. When it feels like it's under attack, it releases that pungent stench that you and I know too well. We all hate hitting one on the road and we all hate it when our pets get sprayed by them. Not to mention that the scent of tomato juice is also not a pleasant scent, either.

Maybe it's one giant reason why Warner Bros. is now disowning their pet skunk.

It was announced a few days ago that the studio will not cast their beloved Pepe Le Pew Tune in the upcoming reboot of "Space Jam" with Lebron James. This was due mostly to a vile piece in the New York Times where writer Charles M. Blow talks about the so-called "rape culture" that he's promoted for decades.

Le Pew first appeared in 1945's "Odor-able Kitty" and appeared in 18 original Looney Tunes cartoons. His 1949 short "For Scent-imental Reasons" won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film. Basically, Le Pew's movies seemed to have the same premise: a poor little female cat accidentally gets a black stripe of paint on her back and out comes Pepe wanting to make sweet French love to her as she is beyond appalled.

Now, for decades, the battle between a stinky French skunk and an innocent cat made for some good laughs at both the cinema - where they were originally seen - and on TV. However, during the #metoo movement and cancel culture, leave it up to a Blow, a bisexual man, to tell us all that Pepe needs to be canceled along with Bosko and Speedy Gonzales.

Pepe Le Pew was created by Chuck Jones (1912-2002), one of Warner's greatest animators. He also created Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner, Michigan J. Frog and directed many shorts starring Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. He also helped to reboot the Tom and Jerry series for MGM in the 60s. Jones' 83-year-old daughter, Linda responded to the accusations of Pepe's "rape culture" as pure bullshit. She told TMZ that Pepe never raped another character in his movies and that she totally disagrees with Blow's op-ed. She does agree, however, that it's up to WB if they want to ax Pepe or not because it's their character and their decision on how they want to use (or not use) him.

It's a known fact that a lot of what happened during the Golden Age of Animation is not acceptable to today's standards. Virtually every animator in Hollywood, whether it's Jones, Disney, Lantz, Fleischer or Hanna and Barbera, produced shorts that would be canceled out today. Personally, I think Blow is no true expert on old school animation. Look at Bugs Bunny. Should be cancel him out? After all, he is in the new Space Jam movie. Tom and Jerry was owned by a fat black woman named "Mammy Two Shoes" and they were in the #1 movie from two weeks ago. Look at other cartoon characters. Popeye once threw balls at a black man (skip to 3:55). Mickey Mouse wore blackface. Hell, even Fat Albert had its problems, Cosby being a rapist or not. Many of the black characters on the show - including Dumb Donald - were voiced by the show's white producer, Lou Scheimer and his family to keep costs down.

In all, if Warner Bros. wants to cancel Pepe Le Pew, they need to cancel everybody it seems (and BTW, they own the 1933-57 Popeye shorts). But, the real decider in all this is you, the consumer. If you don't like it, don't buy it. The corporate media canceled out Morgan Wallen, but his latest album is STILL #1 on the Billboard 200, n-word or not. Not to mention the fact that I don't hear outrage from the African American community over what Wallen did.

At the end of the day, it's sad that WB is telling us that Pepe is bad all because of one man's opinion. Bear in mind that rape culture was alive and well in 1945, long before women went to EDM festivals wearing thongs. If people didn't like Pepe back then, they wouldn't have made another film.

I think some people need to have tomato juice thrown on them.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, March 9, 2021

3.9.21 Bee-otches of the Day: the idiocy regarding COVID-19 and the stimulus bill

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Names: various
Age: various
Occupation: legislators, both right and left
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: making life harder for normal people

--

On Saturday, Americans scored a huge victory.

The Senate voted 50-49 to allow the $1.9 trillion stimulus package to pass. Soon, it will be on President Biden's desk and many Americans will have an extra $1,400 on their bank accounts.

But a raise will be out of the question.

One of the giant problems regarding the stimulus bill were the assholes who set up roadblocks, like the recent Family Guy episode where the first three minutes of every episode of The Hudson Brothers Razzle Dazzle Show were shown as part of a gag. We had to endure congressmen and senators - including some DINOS - doing everything from cry about why raising the minimum wage should not be a part of COVID relief to Joe Manchin reciting the whole damn bill, which proved to be a waste of time.

Of course, there's no doubt that getting the package passed took longer than the duration of Avril Chown's career (and like ~99.infinity9% of all Family Guy viewers, I never even heard of Ms. Chown until I saw the episode this past Sunday on VOD. Hell, I don't even know if she's still even alive!). But, at least we'll have $1,400 sooner or later. But, if you're squeaking by, it will help a little.

The funny thing about the bill is that it now means that many will now get a bump in pay... if you're on food stamps. Ah, food stamps: the government's way of telling big corporations who employ losers like Walmart and McDonald's that their employees don't need a raise. Instead, they'll take care of them themselves. After all, when a Walmart gets built and a traffic signal is installed in front of the store, you pay the tab.

While we're waiting for our cash money, it's no secret that some states are jumping the gun and reopening already, vaccine or not. Here in Michigan, anybody 50 and over can get vaccinated if they have a pre-existing condition. Just recently, Gov. Whitmer allowed restaurants to reopen at 50% capacity. But until you get the vax, it simply just isn't safe. Vaccine or not, over 1500 new cases were reported yesterday in Michigan, bringing the state's COVID count to 659,890. Overall, America is very close to 30,000,000 cases of the disease.

Yes, the weather is getting nicer and the snow is melting. But, for fuck's sake, don't go out unless you need to, and wear a mask! Yes, we're all gonna be $1,400 richer, but put that money to good use!

The thing is, is that we deserve better than just $1,400. Other countries have been paying their workers to stay home since the pandemic began. Here? If you're essential, you work, and you may die. Hell, I know people in retail who got COVID. It's a sick, sad world.

So, why are members of our legislature - even those with a (D) after their names - so skittish about giving the working class a wage increase? Simple: they don't fucking care. Too many of them kiss the asses of the nation's billionaires just as much as the (R)s do. This is why we need more progressives in legislature to get shit done. But instead, Elon Musk is damn near close to that magical $200 billion mark.

But, considering that she's from Canada where workers have been getting $4000 per month, Ms. Chown probably never has to work, period.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Monday, March 8, 2021

3.8.21 Bee-otch of the Day: Michael Sweet

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: Michael Sweet
Age: 57
Occupation: lead singer, Stryper
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: playing Chicken Little

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Last weekend in America, a young husband and father woke up to the sweet smell of his wife's cooking.

He walked to the kitchen wearing the Washington Football Team t-shirt he slept in. He sat down as the Missus served up some Pearl Milling Company pancakes slathered in Land-O-Lakes butter and Mrs. Butterworth syrup. After breakfast, he and the wife paid off their bills. Among them was their life insurance bill from Mutual of Omaha. Their five-year-old daughter sat on the couch reading a Dr. Seuss book while their seven-year-old son watched The Muppet Show on Disney +.

After the bills were paid, the family hopped into their Jeep Grand Cherokee. They headed out to the grocery store to buy the week's food supply, including the evening's dinner, consisting of steaks, red potatoes, Ben's Rice, Cream of Wheat for breakfast and a package of Edy's Pies for dessert.

But, a year ago, things were a little different.

We all know the situation. The Washington Football Team was called the Redskins. Pearl Milling was called Aunt Jemima, Land-O-Lakes had an attractive young Native American woman on their packaging. There were no worries about Mrs. Butterworth's packaging. Mutual of Omaha had a Native American's head as their logo as opposed to that of a lion. Dr. Seuss's books are suitable for children. The Muppet Show wasn't deemed offensive. The Grand Cherokee was not under fire by the tribe is was named after. Red potatoes (going back further) were called redskin potatoes. Ben's was called Uncle Ben's and had a black cook on the package. Cream of Wheat also had a black cook. Edy's Pies were called Eskimo Pies. It goes on.

The PC Police has been on high alert since a policeman kneed the neck of George Floyd. But, it goes further back to the days people of color were bullied because of their appearance and demeanor. In the movies, they were maids or porters. In radio, they were portrayed by white people and fell victim to low-brow humor. Segregation ran rampant and they had very few places to call their own.

But, things changed. The Civil Rights Act was passed in 1965. When Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, Transamerica Insurance - who owned the pre-1948 Warner Bros. cartoons at the time - yanked eleven shorts from television syndication that portrayed African Americans as lazy, sleazy and cannibalistic. More cartoons and movies were shelved from other studios, especially Walt Disney's "Song of the South", which the NAACP claimed sugarcoated slavery.

When the news broke last week that Dr. Seuss Enterprises was ending the production of six of his old books due to portraying people "in ways that are hurtful and wrong," mixed reactions exploded. Some felt that children looking at Seuss's drawings of Asians and African Americans would give them the wrong feeling about how they looked like. But, those who grew up reading Seuss's material - and I have several of his books in my library myself - started crying outrage and sacrilege. Then again, in later years, Theodor Seuss Geisel himself (and BTW, "Seuss" is pronounced like "voice") drifted away from the occasional racist stereotypes and put social matters into his books. "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" dealt with the commercializing of the holidays. "The Lorax" spread a message about the environment. "The Sneetches" dealt with acceptance. The list goes on and on.

However, the right has been taking it the wrong way, especially Michael Sweet. Michael who, you might ask? Well, he had a few hits in the 1980s, including this one.

Sweet is the lead singer of the legendary Christian hair metal band Stryper, best-known for their 1986 hit, "Honestly". Last week, Sweet took to social media, claiming that in light of the Dr. Seuss controversy, he feared that The Bible is next to be banned.

Bear in mind that he - like many-a-Bible thumper - took to the media to voice his disgust over Cardi B.'s megahit from last year, "WAP".

Now, The Bible is like a Dr. Seuss book. It preaches a lot of the things that he talked about, especially in his later titles. However, yes, it's loaded with some stuff that's, well, weird. Leviticus is a prime example with its verses preaching against homosexuality, having sex with a woman on her period, eating shrimp and lobster and getting a tattoo.

The sad reality is why Sweet thinks that The Bible could end up on the banned list: it's because of them. For decades, we've been stuck with assholes who misread it and pretend that it's OK to have excessive wealth, shame the poor, shame those who are different and so on. Hell, when Stryper, along with other crossover Christian rock bands like POD, Skillet and others started selling millions of albums, I wonder where all their money went. Mansions? Cars? $60 million jets?

Years ago, Howard Stern said it best on his show. Jesus was the greatest person to ever walk the Earth. However, too many people have perverted his name. AMEN! Because of all the fake preachers on TBN and other networks, plus those who own a jet plane and a $200,000 house for their dogs, it's a cop-out to those who simply aren't stupid enough to donate to their cause. Past and present, I know people who have given to these fake fucks and they have been brainwashed into being poor.

The point is that The Bible will NEVER be banned, period. It's in the Public Domain. Hell, I can start publishing Bibles and make a lot of money. As long as there's Christian and religious bookstores and e-commerce places that will sell it, The Bible will never be "banned". As I've mentioned, the only reason why those Dr. Seuss books have been removed is because they're owned by Dr. Seuss's estate and they don't represent the values that he wanted to spread in his stories.

IMHO, I think the "banned" Seuss books will become collectors items. If the Seuss estate wants to return the books to the shelves with a warning of political incorrectness, that's up to them. But, we simply live in times where what was seen even 20 years ago - i.e. episodes of The Man Show that have Jimmy Kimmel in blackface and Crank Yankers featuring the "Special Ed" puppet - is not very acceptable now.

As long as everything doesn't get thrown into the Land of Misfit Toys, all will be well.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

3.3.21 Bee-otches of the Day: those STILL not taking COVID-19 seriously

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: STILL not taking COVID seriously

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We should be thankful that we have a president who is taking Barney Fife's advice and nipping it in the bud.

Since Joe Biden took control of the White House, we now have three COVID-19 vaccines on the market from Pfizer and Moderna. Just this week, Johnson and Johnson's vaccine hit the market, and it's a game changer. True, it's only 72% effective, but, it only takes one shot instead of two. Plus, it's still more effective than a flu shot.

Because of this, Biden is now promising that all Americans could be vaccinated by the end of May. Hopefully, this could be the end of the COVID nightmare that's a year old and quite frankly, we're getting sick of.

But, leave it up to the fucking Catholic Church to tell us that taking the J&J vaccine is a no-no.

Several bishops and dioceses are urging people to not get the J&J vax because the cells used to make it come from tissues of aborted fetuses from the 1980s. However, health experts are urging people that they should take the vax that's offered to them by their doctor.

It's no doubt that the vaccines that Pfizer and Moderna have given us so far are helping. Hospital beds are seeing more vacancies and the amount of people getting the disease is starting to taper off. However, there's still a long road ahead. It's too bad that You can't say that to Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas.

On Tuesday, he announced that he's virtually reopening the Lone Star State by ending mask mandates and restaurants could reopen to full capacity. Ah, yes, another asshole who would rather "risk it for the brisket" like Buc-ee's than to listen to scientists.

Sadly, it's pitiful that some religious nuts and conservative pricks all think that science and religion cannot co-exist. In the case of the Catholic Church, they think that once the sperm reaches the egg, it's human life. Scientists, however, don't think so and I agree. As somebody who has dealt with adopted people who ended up becoming assholes - including one who even died from an accidental drug overdose - all I can say is that in too many cases, people have a better life dying in the womb over living a shitty life. But considering that this is the Catholic Church, they want more boys born anyway to create more *ahem* victims.

And then, there's Greg Abbott, who has proven that having lax policies regarding COVID-19 just simply don't work. Same with breaking the power grid off from the rest of the country and not winterizing anything. Judging by the dumbasses walking ON the freeways in Dallas after the snowstorm, a true Texan simply can't survive.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I wish somebody could take Greg Abbott, kidnap him and throw him in the middle of a forest without his wheelchair. He's a horrible human being like every governor in Texas post Ann Richards. Don't Mess With Texas? Sorry, but us Michiganders know that if we get a foot of snow, school stays open. Texans might drive bigger trucks with bullhorns on the hood, but our balls are bigger in the snow.

And surprise! Our governor is smarter, too.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!

Tuesday, March 2, 2021

3.2.21 Bee-otches of the Day: those who voted against raising the minimum wage

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com's socials.

Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: Congresspeople
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: bitching about hard workers

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Well, we're a little closer to getting an extra $1,400 in our pockets.

But, if you're making ends meet as-is, tough shit. And you have some politicians to thank.

A few days ago, Congress passed the $1.9 trillion stimulus bill, which is now in front of the Senate. This means $1,400 stimulus checks, an extra $400 per week for the unemployed, money to help reopen schools and aid to struggling restaurants.

So, what's missing? A hike in the minimum wage.

House Republicans bitched that raising the minimum wage was nothing more than pork and that it should have its own bill. One of those who agreed was none other than my local rep, Peter Meijer. Simply put, people like him bitched that bills like the stimulus package would have passed quicker if there wasn't any pork involved. This, of course, is from a douchebag who has never worried about being broke or worrying when his next meal is gonna come because he's from a wealthy family. It's sad that his grandfathers busted their asses so he can act like a spoiled rich punk while his employees live paycheck to paycheck.

As most of us know, the federal minimum wage has not gone up ONE FUCKING PENNY since 2009. During this time, the price of EVERYTHING has skyrocketed, including rent. I've talked to several people who have all moved here to Grand Rapids from northern Michigan simply because the rent is WAY cheaper here than there. Hell, I'm FINALLY in the process of getting a house this summer after nearly 20 years living in a cheap apartment.

The sad reality is that so many people work hard and make like than $15 per hour. When people are getting paid shit wages, they don't take their jobs seriously. Several weeks ago, I went to Burger King and ordered two cheeseburgers. One of them was so dry that I had to drink my pop just so I can get it down my pipe. Plus, the servers were rude. The douchebag who took my order had an attitude and simply asked "what's your order?"

Granted, when you go to a BK or Mickey D's or whatever, you sure as hell want your servers to be well-paid so they're not very rude. But when their wage is horseshit, well, this is what you get. I know. As somebody who was paid less than $10 per hour for over a decade, I know how it feels. You don't want to do your job and at the end of the day, your attitude is "I don't care, they don't pay me enough to do this shit".

Now, I'm thankful. I'm making enough to pay my bills, and like I said, I might be getting a house this Summer. But, others aren't so lucky. Case in point: not long ago, WOOD-TV here in Grand Rapids did a story on the homeless. They interviewed a woman who was living in a tent in a park. She had a factory job, but it only paid $12 per hour.

Look, folks, Republicans don't give a fuck about you or me. They want you to think that everybody making minimum wage is a loser. However, there's PLENTY of those making that wage who have college degrees. They just can't find the jobs. Because Americans are paying more for everything these days, they don't have time to do a lot of leisure activities. Look at all the failing malls here in America. Just this past year in Traverse City at Grand Traverse Mall, Hollister, Christopher and Banks, H&M and a local bookstore all closed. In all fairness, the mall did gain two eateries in the food court and Shoe Dept. That's it. If Grand Traverse Mall lasts another decade, I'll be surprised. Bear in mind too that their sister mall here in GR, Rivertown, just lost Sears while Younkers has been closed now for a few years. Don't expect those spaces to be filled soon.

Look at other countries' minimum wages. Did you know that Australia has a living minimum wage? It's true. Their economy's great! Here in America, we suck comparing to other nations. Why? Simple: greed.

Thankfully, we'll have $1,400 in our pockets soon. However, it's chump change comparing to the THOUSANDS other nations have been giving to their people each month. I wish the Repukes would shut up and knock it off with their idiotic brainwashing. Stop shaming the hard-working men and women of America and give us all a damn raise!

The Repukes might be crying pork, but they're the ones loaded with fat and gristle.

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CHUCK69.COM IS ALWAYS ON!