3.18.21 Bee-otch of the Day: John Cooper

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Name: John Cooper
Age: 46
Occupation: lead singer of Skillet
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: needing to get WAP'd

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It's no secret that one of the hottest songs from last year was Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP". 

For four non-consecutive weeks, it was America's #1 song. Despite a huge lack of top 40 radio airplay (after all, most CHR radio stations are programmed by impotent 50-year-old men), people simply had to embrace that Wet Ass Pussy (which is what "WAP" stands for). 

The song was a hit also with critics for allowing women to embrace their sexuality. But of course, some folks have taken it the other way, such as Fox "News" commentator Fucker-er, Tucker Carlson and the dozens of losers who have all bitched to the FCC regarding the so-called "indecency" from their performance of the song from Sunday's Grammys.

But now, count John Cooper in as a member of the "I Hate 'WAP'" Club. 

Cooper is the lead singer and bassist of Skillet, one of Christian rock's top bands and successful crossovers. His wife Korey is the group's rhythm guitarist while drummer Jen Ledger also shares vocal duties with John. Seth Morrison rounds out the band as its lead guitarist. 

Skillet has been around since 1996 and has been one of the Christian world's most-popular bands, though they started to cross over to the world of secular radio in 2006 with "Whispers in the Dark". Since then, they've scored multiple hits on the Active Rock charts including their 2010 #1, "Awake and Alive". 

Their last album from two years ago, "Victorious", featured "Legendary", which was the theme song for WWE's Monday Night Raw. 

It's no secret that Cooper is very strict with his religious beliefs and tends to be very conservative. One of his band's songs, "Lucy" was a song about a woman dealing with an abortion. Most of their songs, however, avoid politics and talk about one's relationship with God.

Well, Cooper's got his panties in a wad because of Cardi and Megan's Grammy performance, where the two appear to simulate scissoring during the performance of "WAP". In a ten-minute video posted to YouTube, Cooper compared the performance to Nazi Germany and Hitler. He cried that it all started with Madonna simulating masturbation during her performance of "Like a Virgin" at the 1984 VMAs and it's grown to other female performers like Cardi and Megan. 

Simply put, Cooper cries that Hitler wanted to free Germans from the Ten Commandments and it's what Cardi and Megan want as well. OH, BULLSHIT! First off, Cardi B. is a devout Catholic. NO LIE! Second, where in the Ten Commandments does it read "Thou Shalt Not Appreciate Thy Wet Ass Pussy"? The closest I've seen to "sex is bad" is "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", which is being married and having sex with somebody else. 

Look. If I hear "WAP" on my Sirius, I crank it up. Skillet, OTOH, is annoying as fuck. To me, they are a soulless butt rock band whose female drummer/singer sounds like a high-pitched chipmunk. 

What John Cooper needs to know is that he ain't perfect. His band has sold millions of albums and made millions of bucks pimping a man who told a wealthy young man that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to go to Heaven. He's part of a culture that cries that we need to rid ourselves of sex, yet it's loaded with molesters and scandals left and right. 

If you don't like women who are into sex, that's up to you. What's funny is that there's a lot of Christian women out there who are hornier than hell. Hell, when I was a teen, my father hooked up with a woman he met in church and she was a horndog... who ended up cheating on him with her boss and ended up having a daughter together. 

Yesterday, we talked about the asshole who killed eight people in Atlanta, claiming that the massage parlors they worked at promoted sex. Personally, I think sexual feelings are normal. 

Look at this performance from Pan's People on Britain's Top of the Pops from 1970. Tight outfits and a wedgie here and there. OK, now, look at an episode of American Bandstand from the same year. All the girls on this show were wearing short skirts but no pants. It was apparent that ABC didn't want the young male viewers of AB to go through puberty as quickly as the lads staring at Flick Colby's now-dead butthole on TOTP. Then again, the Brits seemed to have a more-liberal view on sexy girls over us Americans, especially in the 70s and even now.

To me, I view men who want women to not expose their sexual views as misogynistic assholes, and John Cooper is one of them. If I date a woman and she wants to expose herself to me, that's all up to her. I'm not going to be a jerk and get all pissy at her for doing so, like John Cooper would because he's an uptight Jebus freak. But, if you don't feel comfortable with one's sexuality, fine. 

But since Skillet's music blows, it's safe to say that John Cooper is a Wonky Ass Prick. 

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