Age: ageless
Occupation: supposed entertainers when it comes to music
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: another shitty Grammys
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Last night, the Grammys were handed out.
And guess what? I didn't watch one second of it and the world is still spinning.
As usual, the ceremony had its records. Beyonce won some Grammys and so did Taylor Swift. Billie Eilish won Record of the Year and Megan Thee Stallion won Best New Artist.
And if you love rock, you were pretty much spat on.
Once again, the Grammys demoted the rock awards - metal, alternative and regular - to the Junior Varsity section before the actual ceremony. This year's winners were meh at best.
This year's big rock winner was Fiona Apple, whose LP "Fetch The Box Cutters" won Best Alternative Album. Her song "Shameika" won Best Rock Performance. Best Rock Song went to "Stay High" by Brittany Howard, who is also the lead singer of Alabama Shakes. Best Rock Album went to The Strokes' "The New Abnormal", fueled by the hit singles "Bad Decisions" and "The Adults Are Talking", a song they played while campaigning for former presidential candidate Bernie Sanders.
Metal fans were fetched a bone, when Body Count's "Bum-Rush" was awarded the Best Metal Performance, beating out hardcore punkers Code Orange, YouTuber Poppy, the legendary In This Moment and Power Trip, a band still reeling after the passing of lead singer Riley Gale. Of course, this is the same Body Count - led by rapper Ice-T - who gave us the extremely controversial "Cop Killer" nearly 30 years ago.
Granted, this was a shitty year for rock in general since there weren't many huge, huge rock bands with good albums this year (last year was Tool's year, obviously). So, we ended up with not a lot of radio-friendly bands taking home awards. Hell, I even had to Google Brittany Howard's name!
Always every year, there's snubs galore. In the In Memoriam section, yes, Lionel Ritchie performed "Lady" in memory of his dear friend, Kenny Rogers followed by a lengthy list of those who have passed this past year. However, many are infuriated that the Recording Academy didn't do a whole lot when it came to paying tribute to the great Eddie Van Halen. All they did was throw one of his guitars on stage while they played him doing one of his signature solos for 15 seconds. Many complained that the Grammys should have done a better job of paying tribute to EVH, including wrestler and rocker Chris Jericho, who tweeted that he would rather win a Razzie than a Grammy.
Later today, Eddie's son, Wolfgang revealed that the Academy asked him to perform "Eruption" during his father's memorial segment, but he declined. In a statement, WVH - who currently has the #1 song on active rock radio with "Distance" - a heart-tugging tribute to his late father - wrote "I don't think anyone could have lived up to what my father did for music but himself."
Oh, and get this... Guess whose name appeared during the Grammys' In Memoriam roll? *pause so you can grab a puke bucket* DARREN ARRIENS! Yep, the same asshole who helped to run KLQ here in Grand Rapids to the ground. How he got to get honored is beyond me. Bear in mind that he died from COVID-19 and is one of the FEW assholes who got the disease.
You see, this is the fucking Grammys we're talking about. The same fuckers who in 1989 gave a METAL Grammy to JETHRO TULL over Metallica. Every time I hear about that incident, I get PISSED. "Industry professionals" MY ASS.
Well, the Recording Academy got what they deserved: RECORD LOW RATINGS! This year's ceremony was down 53% from last year. Maybe people just simply don't like the shitty music that's out there and that people just simply want good music to win awards as opposed to another Taylor Swift outing where she sings to little girls about how to hate men. If nothing changes before next year music-wise, God help us.
Maybe if "WAP" got a shit-ton of awards, it would make for one awesome broadcast.
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