2.7.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Mike Lindell

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: Mike Lindell
Age: 57
Occupation: snake oil salesman
Last Seen: Minnesota
Bee-otched For: not being a woman
 

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I knew those pillows were a sham.

We have all been exposed to those annoying late infomercials advertising MyPillow. You know, the pillows that look like they were stuffed with cigarette butts, styrofoam and those painful bitewings your dentist makes you bite through while he's taking X-rays of your teeth? The face of MyPillow is Mike Lindell, who created the $50 pile of fluff in 2004. He claims that he created the pillows after he studied sleep disorders.

He also created the pillows while he was addicted to crack and booze.

According to Lindell, he recently revealed that his addictions cost him his house, his marriage and almost his MyPillow business. He claims to have been sober since 2009.

Since achieving sobriety, the MyPillow business took off and the whole world is suffering from severe earworm from their annoying Chordettes-esque jingle. True, we *should* praise him for winning his drug battle, but he still acts like he's smoking crack.

For starters, his flack from the Better Business Bureau because of their ill-fated "buy one, get one free" ordeal. Even more, Lindell is a right-wing turd. Hell, he's pals with Drumpf! Drumpf even praised him at his rallies. Also, when the victims of the Parkland school shooting called for a boycott of MyPillow for advertising on Laura Ingraham's Fox News Channel show, he boosted his advertising on the show.

Now, Lindell is using part of his $300 million fortune to finance a movie that attacks one of the most important organizations out there, Planned Parenthood. He's funding $1 million for "Unplanned", a movie based on the true story of fat bitch anti-abortion activist Abby Johnson. In the movie, Johnson works for Planned Parenthood and is forced to watch an abortion via ultrasound. The experience scars her, leading her to become pro-life.

Lindell himself has a cameo in the movie, where he plays a construction worker tearing down a Planned Parenthood clinic to make way for an anti-abortion center.

The movie is being released by Pure Flix, the ultra-conservative Christian film distribution firm that gave us the "God's Not Dead" movies and the crockumentaries of convicted felon Dinesh D'souza. "Unplanned" will be released on March 29. Chances are that it will be panned by critics and since it will be in only 800 screens, it might make a tiny profit, if any.

Look, there's a reason why women have abortions in the first place. It's because they're poor and broke and they can't handle the responsibility of being a single parent. Ok, there's adoption, but too many kids never get adopted and those who do usually end up having no real love in life. I even knew several adopted children who were raised by assholes or ended up being assholes themselves.

Recently, I read a tweet from a young actress who had an abortion at 16. She says that thanks to the procedure, she has had a better life and doesn't regret it. Teenage moms are stuck with an unwanted child and no life and no money.

It's funny how someone like Mike Lindell can call himself pro-life and yet he kisses the ass of a filthy cunt who chastised the victims of a horrific shooting disaster. Sorry, but I don't view that train of thought as Christian. He can take his shitty pillows and that awful jingle and shove them both up his ass.

Here's a better pillow: THIS! I got two of them when Brookstone had a store here in Grand Rapids. They're quite comfortable and snugly. Yes, they ain't cheap, but it's $50 that won't be going to any future Razzie-winning films made to make Jebus happy.

Somebody who works at MyPillow should stuff them with coat hangers.

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