Name: National Football League
Age: 98
Occupation: sports league
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: another shitty Super Bowl
-Age: 98
Occupation: sports league
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: another shitty Super Bowl
Another year, another Super Bowl come and gone.
Of course, if you live outside New England or love the Patriots, this wasn't your Super Bowl. If you love actual good music, this wasn't your Super Bowl, either. If you love Super Bowl commercials, however, at least there were some diamonds in the rough. You just had to sit through two yenta mermaids hawking alcoholic water, the Backstreet Boys and people drinking sour milk.
And if you live here in Michigan, the CEO of Consumers Energy for begging people to turn down their thermostats because of the fire at their natural gas plant last week, right smack dab in the middle of one of the worst cold snaps in our state's history.
This year's Super Bowl was the lowest-rate in a decade because it was like the 2016 presidential election. You had the Patriots, a team owned by one of Drumpf's best friends and a quarterback who cheats. Yes, the Rams are better until you realize that the owner, E. Stanley Kroenke is also a Drumpf supporter who made his billions because of his wife being the daughter of one of Walmart's founders. Oh, did I tell you that he also owns the Denver Nuggets NBA team? Yep, he's the same asshole who almost fucked over the WWE because his precious Nuggets were in the playoffs and wanted them to play on a Monday night. The WWE was quickly able to cobble together Monday Night Raw in Los Angeles at the Staples Center. Of course, they were nice enough to have an uncredited actor portray Kroenke as Vince McMahon poked fun of what the E stands for in his name (Enos, which of course sounds like "anus") as he knocked the actor out of the ring.
What's funny is that Enos is called by some as a champion for returning the NFL to Los Angeles, even though he helped move the Rams to St. Louis in the first place when they built a new stadium in 1995. However, The Dome at America's Center was not a fan favorite and the Rams spent their final years in St. Louis with dismal records and low attendance. In 2020, the Rams - along with the Chargers - will move into a $5 billion stadium partly owned by Enos.
Personally, I think that the biggest problem the the NFL are the owners themselves. Explain to me why Colin Kaepernick isn't playing. Oh, I know! It's because a majority of the owners are Repukes and clueless. Look at the Ford family. They've owned the Lions since 1963 and the Lions have only won one playoff game. I'm still fuming that they fired Jim Caldwell two years ago and he was the best coach the team had in 50 years! His replacement, Patricia Matthew was hired simply because of his connection to the Patriots. It's like watching a TV show because it was from the lead custodian of The Big Bang Theory. Just because that show was good doesn't mean that his own creation will be just as good or even better.
Sometimes, I wonder if Caldwell was simply fired because he is black. Last season, the majority of NFL head coaches canned were all African American. Most of their replacements were all white. In the Lions' case, let's not forget that their beloved patriarch was a supporter of Hitler, hint, hint.
And let's not forget that the halftime abortion from Moron 5-er, Maroon 5, the shitty pop band whose fanbase is mostly soccer moms with stinky vaginas. There were better halftime shows out there, like this and this. Whomever got the band known for "Moves Like Jagger" to perform probably has veins like Richards.
Well, there you have it. The NFL needs to wake the fuck up. I think it's time for owners to wake up and realize why their fanbase is getting more older and conservative. Hell, I think it's time for Brady to retire. In the great words of Tenacious D, it's time to pass the torch.
To Tom and all of the Patriots, I hope you enjoy your White House hamburders.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on http://beeotchoftheday.blogspot.com
Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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