Wednesday, June 19, 2019

6.19.19 Bee-otches of the Day: Northern Michigan radio


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: northern Michigan radio
Age: 79
Occupation: the supposed entertainers and informers of the north
Last Seen: northern Michigan
Bee-otched For: not shooting down Don Henley or The Eagles or needed
 
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Recently in Detroit, hell froze over.

After 13 years, radio station WRIF quietly reintroduced the band Incubus to their playlist. Why is this big news? Well, the story is that around 2006, the band notoriously ditched a gig in Detroit for a bigger gig in Indianapolis. So, program director Doug Podell banned the group from ever being played on WRIF ever again.

Times have changed. Doug is no longer with the station and they now have new owners. Other stations in Detroit like 89X had zero problems with Incubus. But unlike 89X, The Riff has always had ratings (and no government mandate to play Canadian rock).

Radio stations banning certain artists is nothing new. Cumulus banned The Dixie Chicks on all of their stations because of Natalie Maines telling a crowd in England that they were ashamed to be from the same state as George W. Bush a decade ago. Since then, the mandate has been heavily lifted because 1) the asshole who created it, Lew Dickey was fired for dragging the company into bankruptcy and 2) people - even some the most-moronic of country fans - woke up to realize that Dubya was a prick as it was for creating fake wars over oil.

Back to the subject at hand, other artists that got banned on certain stations include Madonna. A Texas station banned her after she proclaimed that she wanted to bomb the White House not long ago. And yet, artists who announced to the world that they wanted to kill Obama like Ted Nugent and Creed's Scott Stapp never got banned.

But yes, artists that decide to ditch a town do get banned. Look at Ashlee Simpson. About a decade ago, a Toledo station banned her after she canceled her stop there. Instead, she used the time to hang out in Toledo with her entourage. Of course, this was after her lip synching disaster on Saturday Night Live. Ticket sales for her Toledo show were paltry as it was.

Granted, when a radio station bans an artist from their station, it's free advertising because of the publicity. Their idea is to make change, hoping that other stations will follow suit.

It's just too bad the radio stations I was forced to grow up with in Northern Michigan could not do the same.

The story goes like this: when I was a tyke, there was Castle Farms in Charlevoix. Acts like Metallica, Ozzy Osbourne, Iron Maiden, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Rod Stewart (him hanging out at Molly Malone's in Eastport was that of rock legend), Bon Jovi, Aerosmith and others all showed up every summer. My mom worked there as a security guard and she would never allow me to go there for any major concert until at least I became a teen.

Then in 1994, I turned 13... and Castle Farms was sold to a 4-H group.

I was already being punished enough with my parents' divorce and being forced to live with a fat, 300-lb. prostitute. And since The Castle was being converted into a summer camp, it ruined summer.

But then, the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City stepped in.

In the mid-90s, they hosted concerts at the Grand Traverse County Fairgrounds. Among the acts that performed were a 1990s who's who of rock, including The Wallflowers, Collective Soul, Eve 6 and Third Eye Blind. However, there was one small problem: the neighbors. Many complained about the noise and some complained about the profanity. So, what did the Cherry Fest do? Simple: cut back on the hard rockers and get more artists for the older set. One year, they tried getting Sheryl Crow. However, she canceled. The excuse was that she had to go record a new album. Fine. Then, the next year, Don Henley was scheduled to perform. Once again, he canceled, presumably because of low ticket sales. As a result, the Cherry Fest only had two concerts that year: some shitty country act and Christina Aguilera.

I believe that because of the neighbor problems and bad concert bookings, the Cherry Fest decided to move all concerts to the Open Space since. IMO, it's a good decision since 1) they've booked a lot of hard rockers since like Greta Van Fleet, Pop Evil, Three Days Grace and Shinedwon and 2) Shockingly enough, they've also booked rap and hip-hop acts, albeit those who haven't had hits in years. This year's hard rock offering is a three-fer: Trapt, Saving Abel and Tantric. Yes, those three acts haven't had big hits on the rock charts in years, but it's better than a kick in the ass.

Throughout my teenage years in northern Michigan, it was punishing enough living in a rock music desert. We were lucky to get maybe one good rock show per year and our radio choices were limited to classic rock (what is now The Bear) and quasi-classic rock (yep, KLT).

Ya know, it would have meant something if KLT and other radio stations up north banned both Don Henley and The Eagles. To me, I wonder why people *actually* love The Eagles. Their music puts me to sleep! One of the most-overrated bands of all time, IMHO. But instead, they put the embargo on bands people of my generation actually liked, like KoRn, Rage Against the Machine, Tool and too many others. It's because of how KLT and other media outlets up north treated me and others is to why I created this website.

I know, there's Rock 105 and 95-5 now. Personally, better them over my now-local hard rocker WGRD here in Grand Rapids since GRD now tosses in butt rock at random times. The oldest rock Rock 105/95-5 plays might be old school Metallica. And guess what? THEY'RE NECK AND NECK WITH KLT IN THE RATINGS! THEY UNDERSTAND HOW ANY ROCK FAN BORN AFTER THE BABY BOOM ENDED HAD BEEN FUCKED OVER BY KLT FOREVER! Hell, it's no surprise that Tom Dipshit-er, Devitt tried to fuck over Smitty by that doctored audio clip he sent to advertisers. KLT should be afraid that once their audience dies off, they're done.

But that's KLT's problem: they're a station owned by a family who knows NOTHING about radio station ownership that's more focused on giving the people of North Dakota diabetes. For years, they were consulted by an asshole who pretended that everybody up north lived in homes that once had wheels and programmed by an old ho who knew nothing about rock when she walked into the station's studio for the very first time and still doesn't know much about it today. Hell, back in the 1990s, her mantra was play a bunch of shitty classic rock with a Melissa Etheridge tune here and there.

I know, I can't turn back time. I wish I had a better life growing up in the 1990s. While the downstate kids went to concerts and had tons of places to hang out, those living in or around Traverse City had just Grand Traverse Mall and that was it. In some places further away from Traverse City, teenage pregnancy rates were high simply because instead of giving teens things to do, communities would rather persecute them instead. The fact that the only radio station that seemed to give half a damn about the teenage population, 106.7 The Peak, was bought out by KLT's parent company only to flip it into a series of failed formats - including one that had Dr. Laura Schlessinger scream the n-word 12 times in a minute - is a testament on how royally fucked up the media up north truly is.

While Doug Podell is Detroit's Doc of Rock, KLT's PD is something else when it comes to rock; it's like the word "doc", but it rhymes with "bike".




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