Name: The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing
Age: 71
Occupation: racing organization
Last Seen: Daytona Beach, FL
Bee-otched For: becoming a porno for Repukes
Age: 71
Occupation: racing organization
Last Seen: Daytona Beach, FL
Bee-otched For: becoming a porno for Repukes
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It's always something when you come from a family that's always passionate about automobiles.
My Grandfather and Father owned their fair share of Mustangs. As a matter of fact, some 50 years ago, my Grandfather drove from Detroit to the UP to go deer hunting. Along the way, the engine blew in his Mustang. He ended up at a dealership along I-75 and got himself... a new Mustang.
Now, I've never owned a Mustang, simply because they're usually rear wheel drive. Here in Michigan, it's a no-no on snow-capped roads. But, I'm happy to say that I've never owned a foreign car. I'm a lead foot who can't stand slow drivers, which seem to be the norm in Grand Rapids. I once drove my mother's old Kia, which probably went 0-60 in maybe two minutes.
My Father loves watching racing on TV. NASCAR, NHRA, Indy, you name it. I grew up watching people with names like Earnhardt, Gordon, Marlin, Waltrip and Petty who boogedy boogedy boogedied their way into our hearts. He always cracks up when John Force is on TV. When Brad Keselowski became a NASCAR star years ago, he started telling me stories about how he used to hang out with his father, Bob. When they were kids, Bob would come over to my Dad's for sleepovers. The Keselowskis had a service station just down the street from where my Dad grew up.
Sadly, my Dad also loves *ugh* Drumpf. When the de facto president gave out the command at the Daytona 500 on Sunday, Dad asked me via text if I "saw Don and The Beast driving around the oval". I called him, saying "what's 'The Beast'? Melania?" He thankfully laughed his ass off. He told me that it was Drumpf's beloved Cadillac limo. Watching Drumpf and his precious beast circle the track at Daytona as his hillbilly fans applauded loudly reminds me of telling an obnoxious person to go away and they wait 10 minutes to do so.
Well, the race was a disaster. After only several laps, it was red flagged due to rain. By 7 p.m., officials called off the race until the next day. On Monday, the race continued and by the end, it seemed like everybody and their Dutch uncle had crashed. Even Keselowski was done with 16 laps to go.
At the end, Denny Hamlin became only the third Daytona 500 winner in history to win two consecutive races back to back. The other two being Cale Yarborough and Sterling Marlin. It was Hamlin's third win at Daytona. But, Hamlin's victory was shrouded with shock and horror when 20-year NASCAR veteran Ryan Newman's car crashed and flipped over on the last lap of the race. Newman, 42 was unable to escape his car as fuel quickly drained near open flames. First responders immediately drove to the scene to shoot repellent onto the #6 car. The media was told to leave the scene as NASCAR officials installed black shields guarding the audience in the stands and at home from seeing if Newman was dead or alive. They flipped the mangled car over, took Newman out and rushed him to Halifax Medical Center. Later today, it was announced that Newman woke up and has been talking to both doctors and family. He's still in serious condition, but doctors claim that his injuries are not life-threatening.
Personally, I feel bad for Newman, a devoted father who also runs an animal rescue charity called Rescue Ranch. With the shocking passing of Kobe and Gianna Bryant a few weeks ago, the world of sport does not need to lose another hero. True, some may claim that NASCAR isn't really a sport, but the injuries drivers can face from high-speed accidents could be more severe. And as we all learned 19 years ago today with Dale Earnhardt, even death.
Yes, NASCAR has made their cars safer over the years thanks to special restraints and new designs. Sr.'s crash was nothing comparing to Newman's. Many experts and analysts all claim that if those restraints weren't installed, Newman would have instantly died.
Sadly, however - and I hate to be Debbie Downer in this situation - ever noticed who Newman's sponsor is? A little company called Koch Industries. Yes, THAT Koch, who has done wonders to pollute our world and fight government restrictions to make sure that our world stays safe. Of course, Koch LOVES Republicans and where else to promote their evil operation but on a NASCAR vehicle.
Whether or not Newman will return to driving this season or at all is anybody's guess. But I'll betcha that Koch will look at other cars to slap their evil logo on there.
But Koch isn't the only evil, nasty right-winged entity to have a driver strut their name around like a peacock. Ever hear of William Byron? He drives the #24 car once driven by Jeff Gordon. Well, guess who his sponsor is? Liberty University! Yep, the far-right-winged POS school founded by Jerry Fartsmell-er, Falwell. Funny how they've gone after so-called "indecency" and the LGBTQ+ community for decades. And yet, they own a shopping mall in Virginia that has Victoria's Secret, Spencer's, Hot Topic and even a movie theater that shows R-rated movies.
You know, NASCAR needs to know that liberals and progressives love the adrenaline-induced action of racing, too. Hell, my friend Darren Gibson from the radio show Southpaws loves NASCAR and is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to wrestling. It's amazing how other major sports leagues put politics aside (well, maybe not the NFL and their no taking a knee policy). But when it comes to NASCAR, their fans are afraid that Bernie and AOC will force them to drive electric cars (and guess what? Electric car racing is indeed a thing).
Look, if NASCAR wants to keep doing what they're doing, fine. Their average viewer is 60 years old, which is not really what most advertisers want. True, Drumpf's appearance on Sunday *did* increase their audience by about a million.
Maybe more people would have watched if Drumpf was driving that #6 car with no restraints.
Sadly, my Dad also loves *ugh* Drumpf. When the de facto president gave out the command at the Daytona 500 on Sunday, Dad asked me via text if I "saw Don and The Beast driving around the oval". I called him, saying "what's 'The Beast'? Melania?" He thankfully laughed his ass off. He told me that it was Drumpf's beloved Cadillac limo. Watching Drumpf and his precious beast circle the track at Daytona as his hillbilly fans applauded loudly reminds me of telling an obnoxious person to go away and they wait 10 minutes to do so.
Well, the race was a disaster. After only several laps, it was red flagged due to rain. By 7 p.m., officials called off the race until the next day. On Monday, the race continued and by the end, it seemed like everybody and their Dutch uncle had crashed. Even Keselowski was done with 16 laps to go.
At the end, Denny Hamlin became only the third Daytona 500 winner in history to win two consecutive races back to back. The other two being Cale Yarborough and Sterling Marlin. It was Hamlin's third win at Daytona. But, Hamlin's victory was shrouded with shock and horror when 20-year NASCAR veteran Ryan Newman's car crashed and flipped over on the last lap of the race. Newman, 42 was unable to escape his car as fuel quickly drained near open flames. First responders immediately drove to the scene to shoot repellent onto the #6 car. The media was told to leave the scene as NASCAR officials installed black shields guarding the audience in the stands and at home from seeing if Newman was dead or alive. They flipped the mangled car over, took Newman out and rushed him to Halifax Medical Center. Later today, it was announced that Newman woke up and has been talking to both doctors and family. He's still in serious condition, but doctors claim that his injuries are not life-threatening.
Personally, I feel bad for Newman, a devoted father who also runs an animal rescue charity called Rescue Ranch. With the shocking passing of Kobe and Gianna Bryant a few weeks ago, the world of sport does not need to lose another hero. True, some may claim that NASCAR isn't really a sport, but the injuries drivers can face from high-speed accidents could be more severe. And as we all learned 19 years ago today with Dale Earnhardt, even death.
Yes, NASCAR has made their cars safer over the years thanks to special restraints and new designs. Sr.'s crash was nothing comparing to Newman's. Many experts and analysts all claim that if those restraints weren't installed, Newman would have instantly died.
Sadly, however - and I hate to be Debbie Downer in this situation - ever noticed who Newman's sponsor is? A little company called Koch Industries. Yes, THAT Koch, who has done wonders to pollute our world and fight government restrictions to make sure that our world stays safe. Of course, Koch LOVES Republicans and where else to promote their evil operation but on a NASCAR vehicle.
Whether or not Newman will return to driving this season or at all is anybody's guess. But I'll betcha that Koch will look at other cars to slap their evil logo on there.
But Koch isn't the only evil, nasty right-winged entity to have a driver strut their name around like a peacock. Ever hear of William Byron? He drives the #24 car once driven by Jeff Gordon. Well, guess who his sponsor is? Liberty University! Yep, the far-right-winged POS school founded by Jerry Fartsmell-er, Falwell. Funny how they've gone after so-called "indecency" and the LGBTQ+ community for decades. And yet, they own a shopping mall in Virginia that has Victoria's Secret, Spencer's, Hot Topic and even a movie theater that shows R-rated movies.
You know, NASCAR needs to know that liberals and progressives love the adrenaline-induced action of racing, too. Hell, my friend Darren Gibson from the radio show Southpaws loves NASCAR and is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to wrestling. It's amazing how other major sports leagues put politics aside (well, maybe not the NFL and their no taking a knee policy). But when it comes to NASCAR, their fans are afraid that Bernie and AOC will force them to drive electric cars (and guess what? Electric car racing is indeed a thing).
Look, if NASCAR wants to keep doing what they're doing, fine. Their average viewer is 60 years old, which is not really what most advertisers want. True, Drumpf's appearance on Sunday *did* increase their audience by about a million.
Maybe more people would have watched if Drumpf was driving that #6 car with no restraints.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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