Name: Donald Trump
Age: 74
Occupation: loner
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: getting owned
Age: 74
Occupation: loner
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: getting owned
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I guess Drumpf should legally change his name to "Eeyore".
You know, the donkey from the Winnie the Pooh stories? He was always depressed, with the words "Why bother?" as his favorite saying.
Well, Eeyore was supposed to have a rollicking good time in Tulsa last weekend. But instead, it ended up being a glass 2/3 empty.
At the de facto president's first campaign rally since the beginning of COVID-19, he spoke in front of a mere 6,000 losers in an arena that seats 19,000. Yet, the BOK Arena was allegedly sold out and the Drumpf campaign claimed that they had over a million orders for tickets.
Nickelback and The Wiggles were two acts that outsold Drumpf at BOK Arena.
Immediately, the blame game started to be played. One finger was pointed at Gen-Zers who claimed on TikTok that they were going to order seats using fake names. Another finger was directed at threats of violence outside of the arena. After all, there were a few protests. And yes, COVID-19. There were some folks who simply didn't wear a mask, period.
While there, Drumpf's audio crew played Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down" as his entrance theme. Petty's estate issued a cease-and-desist order to the Drumpf administration claiming that the beloved classic rocker - who died in 2017 - would never allow any of his songs to promote racism and hate. It's no secret that Petty was protective of his music; he sued British singer and songwriter Sam Smith when it was discovered that his 2014 hit "Stay With Me" sounded a lot like "I Won't Back Down". As a result, Petty's estate now shares the song's royalties. When Petty's recordings were destroyed in the massive Universal lot fire of 2008, the estate sued the company for not doing enough to maintain the masters.
The disappointing turnout for Drumpf in Tulsa is a pure sign that his popularity is toast. Let's face it: nobody wants to be in the same arena as some racist, slack-jawed yokels who probably thought it was funny when a noose was found in Bubba Wallace's garage. Let alone assholes who won't wear a mask because in their feeble mind, COVID-19 is a scam. Some assholes simply don't care. But when they lose everything because of Drumpf's bullshit, the last person they should cry to is me.
And of course, it's sad that Drumpf doesn't want John Bolton's book to be published. Oh, whaaaaa! What's the matter, scared of the TRUTH? Bolton, Mad Dog Maddus and too many other ex-staffers have said it all. Drumpf is a sick, twisted, deranged prick who counts on white trash losers to get him back in the White House in November. And if they do, what Dubya did in 2008 will be nothing compared to what will happen in those next four years. The fact that Biden's the Democrat's choice might not be a heavy hope, either. However, I just might give him a chance if he chooses a real leftist as his running mate and not a phony like Joe Lieberman or to an extent Tim Kaine. If he bombs like Gore or Hillary did, I might as well vote Green this year.
But at least he'll give comedy writers four more years of fresh material.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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