1.17.19 Bee-otch of the Day: John Engler

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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: John Engler
Age: 70
Occupation: ex-Michigan governor
Last Seen: Lansing, MI
Bee-otched For: not keeping his big mouth shut
 

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When I was a kid, my Grandmother told my mom that she was on the same flight as Soupy Sales. Sharing the same flight with any celebrity should definitely be an honor.

However, the same thing happened to me some 20 years later. Sadly, it was John Engler. Instead of dealing with a man who made millions laugh by being pelted with cream pies, I got stuck on a plane with a man who threw shit onto the people of Michigan. 

I even stood next to that big, fat dildo and his staff at the baggage claim. While people were coming to him asking about the triplets he had with his mistress, I kept my mouth shut. After all, my dear friend, the late, great Dave Barber confronted Engler years ago. He asked him about the fact that he cheated on his wife with Michelle, his mistress. Engler's men roughed up Barber and pushed him into an elevator shaft.

Tragically, Michigan was stuck with that giant pile of goo for 12 years. That's 12 years too many. He even got the nickname "Pothole Johnny" because our state didn't have the money to fix the damn roads. Hell, under his aegis, Michigan made history when Kalkaska schools were the first school district in American history to not have a full school year because of a lack of funding. 

I shudder to think about how Jennifer Granholm was treated throughout her run as governor.  She spent a lot of her time wiping Michigan clean of Engler's BS, and people blamed her for Michigan's economic downfall in the 2000s. Oh, but pRick Snyder proved that a tough nerd can fix things! He ran Gateway into the ground and did the same to Michigan. Three words: Flint water crisis. 

When Lou Anna Simon was out as Michigan State University president over the Larry Nassar scandal, the daughter of Charles Nelson Reilly and Roger Ebert was replaced with Engler. Why? Because he was an MSU good 'ol boy. The students revolted and many like myself thought that MSU was crazy for making him interim president. Well, the people got their wish.

Engler has resigned as MSU interim president after he was quoted in the Detroit Free Press as saying that Nassar's victims enjoyed the spotlight and recognition. I saw what he said and shook my head.

You know, Nassar molested over 250 young girls. These poor women are scarred for life over what this fucked up monster did. Engler showed how shallow and selfish he is with making that comment. The MSU Board of Trustees should be kicking themselves in the ass by hiring him in the first place.

If I could turn back time, I wished I had some of Nassar's victims with me on that flight so they could confront his fat ass for his mindless attitude. Hell, I would love to see one of them kick him in the nuts to feel the pain they felt while being molested by that asshole. Flying with Engler is on par or worse than sitting by a crying baby or a flatulent fat guy.

To quote the great Waylon Jennings to Buddy Holly on that fateful day in 1959, "I hope your plane crashes". 

I better not be on it then.

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