Tuesday, September 1, 2020

9.1.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Tucker Carlson

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

 



Name: Tucker Carlson
Age: 50
Occupation: fake talker
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: being a racist asshole


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It's a shame that there's people out there who believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Great Pumpkin.

And yes, there's millions of people who are brainwashed daily who believe that Fox "News" Channel is real. 

When Faux News parted ways with Bill O'Reilly because of his sexual harassment shit, I was hoping it was the end of that propaganda shitshow. Well, Tucker Carlson - who didn't last at either CNN or MSNBC - is now in O'Liely's old slot and man, oh, man, is he just as bad of an asshole.

Last week, many started calling for Fucker's exit from the channel because of his continuous respect and defense of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old cocksucker who gunned down two people in Kenosha, WI and injured one more. On last night's show, Fucker interviewed Rittenhouse's lawyer, John Pierce. He proclaimed that he was simply protecting businesses and was standing their ground for the owners. The people he shot at and killed were simply trying to loot them. Oh, BULLSHIT! Don't those businesses have INSURANCE?!?! 

Look, this is why businesses SHOULD have insurance. They get robbed. They get looted. They burn down. Look at the popular Dublin General Store in Wellston: it burned to the ground earlier this year for the third time in its 85-year history. Allegedly, it was arson. Guess what? THEY'RE REBUILDING BIGGER AND BETTER! I would also imagine that their insurance company is also paying them to pay their employees while they rebuild.

BTW, Pierce was also a lawyer for Rudy Guiliani. 

What's laughable is that Carlson has no real advertisers. On last night's show, I saw commercials for the National Prayer March with Franklin Graham, PC Matic internet security ($50 per year when Kapersky is free), Real Talk USA (whose towers are with AT&T... boo; they advertised twice), a campaign ad from Drumpf (they brag that he killed all of the world's terrorists, and yet we still have Kim Jung-Un and Vladimir Putin), Visiting Angels (a service that provides home care for seniors), WaxRX (an earwax removal kit; ever hear of a Q-Tip?), John Deere, Pray.com, General Steel, Relief Factor (which I hear is a hoax, and Pat Boone's in the ad!), Readers.com, SoClean (with William Shatner), Guardian Legal Network (who are planning a lawsuit against Zantac), Butcher Box, NewDayUSA.com, Weather Tech, IdealAgent.com, Navage Nasal Care, Earvana (another earwax cleaner), CoventryDirect (which buys life insurance policies) and OH YES! MYPILLOW! Good 'ol crackhead Mike Lindell advertised during Fucker's show FOUR TIMES!!!

What's scary is that Carlson is the type who cries about liberals wanting to destroy cities and that people who do such a thing all support Biden. OK, 1) brutality between African Americans and the police has been going on forever. When Rodney King was getting beaten up, it was being captured on an old school VHS camcorder that probably cost several hundred dollars in 1992. It was probably heavy and bulky, too. I wanted a video camera when I was a kid, but my parents said no. My inner Bob Saget remained bottled up. Anyway, we all now have video cameras in our pockets thanks to smartphones that make those heavy VHS cameras dinosaurs. And since we now have more proof of police brutality, people like Fucker think that all this is brand new. It's not. Maybe he oughta see the Netflix documentary "13th" for a lesson regarding how blacks have been treated in America since the days of slavery.

2) NOT ALL LIBERALS ARE BIDEN SUPPORTERS! In fact, Biden has some Drumpf-esque qualities. I wouldn't be too surprised if some of the rioters won't vote for Biden; some might vote for the Green Party's Howie Hawkins or not vote for president at all.

Not long after I shut off Fucker's hate-fest last night, for shits and giggles, I flipped on OAN's 9 p.m. show, hosted by one Liz Wheeler. She's a devout Catholic who also can't read a goddamned teleprompter to save her life. She, like Fucktard, bashed the protesters in Kenosha. Of course, OAN is well-known for passing conspiracy theories as truth, just like their much-higher-ranked rivals at Fox "News". 

The tragedy is that Fucker doesn't know what it's like to be unprivileged. He had wealthy parents and went to boarding schools growing up. As a matter of fact, his stepmother was an heiress to the Swanson TV dinner family. He doesn't understand that just because a black man wears a do-rag doesn't mean that he's in a gang. Yes, there's African Americans who are total assholes because they sit on their ass and watch Judge Mamalookaboobooday all day. Trust me, I had to unfriend a guy who was like that and wanted to gank $500 from me. But guess what? WHITES HAVE FUCKED ME OVER, TOO! The last woman who lived with me was white. The fat bitch who dragged me away from my Nintendo as a kid to live with her was white. My ex-stepdad - a far-right-winged nutjob - is white. I can go on.

The point is, I've mentioned some of Fuckjob's sponsors. DON'T BUY FROM THEM, PERIOD. Besides, I bought pillows from the now-defunct Brookstone at Woodland Mall here in Grand Rapids a few years ago and they are still quite comfortable. If you spend your life watching fake news TV, you're only adding to the problem. 

Good thing Fucker switched from wearing bowties to straight ones. Somebody can suffocate him easier. 





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