Age: 100
Occupation: failed informers and entertainers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: having No Doubt that they're dying
Three weeks from Friday will mark a milestone in broadcasting.
KDKA Radio signed on the air by the Westinghouse Corporation on November 2, 1920. It was the very first commercially-licensed radio broadcast in American history.
Over the years, radio has changed and evolved. It used to be that big corporations owned stations in major cities while smaller town's stations were owned by individuals or even the town newspaper. AM stations were run like TV stations today with network sitcoms and dramas. Thanks to television, AM radio now relied on music formats, especially the birth of the top 40 format in the 1950s. FM radio was slowly starting to appear and by the 1970s, top 40 radio started to migrate to the FM full-time.
Today, we still have good 'ol AM and FM, though AM now goes past 1600 and upward to 1700. Terrestrial-wise, CHR is still big, along with country, classic rock, classic hits and AC.
However, in the past several years, rock music has been heavily-bastardized and thrown into the dark ages, thanks to corporate morons like iHeartMedia, Entercom and in Grand Rapids' case, Townsquare not knowing the hole from their asses. At last check, the biggest radio market in the US that had a rock station that was heavy on currents was Dallas. That station, KEGL (yes, the same KEGL whose previous owner, Nationwide Insurance yanked Howard Stern from the station for his rants regarding slain Latino pop singer Selina) does play rock currents, but they also play a fair share of butt rock that needs to stay on your father's classic rock station.
Well, last week, there was a beam of hope coming out of Chicago. After several years of shitty ratings, iHeartMedia aborted country station Big 95.5 and it started stunting. At 5 p.m. that day, Rock 95.5 was born with Metallica's "Enter Sandman". It's a good start for a rock station. At least it was until it segued into a song that should NEVER be played on an active rock station: "Separate Ways" by one of the most-overrated bands of all time, Journey.
The funny story is that the north side of The Windy City does have access to a decent station in WIIL 95.1 out of Kenosha, WI. Their owners, Digity also owns Q-Rock out of Joliet. Hell, WIIL does better in the ratings than what used to be WLUP/97.9 The Loop, now K-Love! At one point, WIIL did better than WLS-AM 890. I'll betcha when Boycalf, er, Mancow moved from The Loop to WLS, it made a ratings difference.
It's a sad lie in the world of radio that rock is dead. Bands like Metallica, Foo Fighters, Five Finger Death Punch, Tool and others do well in regard to record and pre-COVID-19 concert sales. But the fact that major cities like New York and Los Angeles - which once gave us the legendary KNAC - can't fucking support a real rock station should be laughable.
I know. Many people have left terrestrial radio for digital media. Thanks to services like Spotify, Pandora, SiriusXM and others, you can be in the middle of nowhere and listen to the most-gangsta rap station known to mankind. After all, over 20 years ago when I started blogging about how horrid northern Michigan radio was, people told me that I was nucking futs. Today, the only real good thing about northern Michigan radio is Rock 105 and 95-5. The two CHRs are boring and lack real rhythmic content. Plus, there's a ton of now-silenced spots on the radio dial thanks to either poor management or failed companies that don't know shit about treating their audience.
The funny thing is that iHeart and other radio companies think that a guy like me pushing 40 wants to hear Journey next to Metallica, White Zombie into Kansas, and in the case of Rock 95.5 in Chicago last night at about 8 p.m. Grand Rapids time, Ozzy into No Doubt's "Don't Speak". REALLY?!?! Sorry, a tune that 13-year-old girls sang along with 25 years ago ain't rock, period. What's next, the Spice Girls?
Sadly, iHeartMedia has no fucking clue on how to run a successful rock station. I'll betcha that if Rock 95.5 breaks a two share, they'll be lucky. But, in the case of stations like Detroit's WLLZ, WIOT in Toledo and ESPECIALLY 101.3 The Brew here in Grand Rapids, well, there you go.
And speaking of WLLZ, I'm still shaking my head as to why the successful Jerry Tarrants and WRIF/WCSX Detroit parted ways. Those stations are riding a wave of success and yet, he's now doing mornings at WRKR 107.7 in Kalamazoo. I feel bad for real rock fans in Kalamazoo; both WRKR and WZUU/92.5 The Zoo (they're still around?) play an obscene amount of butt rock.
You see, this is why I chose not to get into radio. You do well and you'll get canned. Just ask Howard Stern. Here in Grand Rapids, he was dropped for failed local morning show after another. Eventually, KLQ got a clue and ceased to exist. Radio is a business. If you play shit that's a turn-off, you don't deserve advertisers, period. If I own a business and your station's salesman comes in wanting me to buy airtime, you better have the latest ratings book. If not, I'm calling the cops.
Failure is just as annoying as people who don't wear masks.
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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of Chuck69.com, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!
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