5.5.20 Bee-otch of the Day: Democratic National Committee

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

 

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Name: Democratic National Committee
Age: 172
Occupation: the reason why we can't have nice things
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: Joe Biden's one of us? He's innocent                                                               

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Today, I should have been at Van Andel Arena here in Grand Rapids to see Tool.

Before the concert, I should have been at a Mexican restaurant enjoying a burrito and a margarita to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

But thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic, Maynard and Co. had to postpone their tour. At least I had Qdoba tonight.

I know, it sucks. Staying home as much as humanly possible blows. But, it's the golden rule since I sure as hell don't want the 'rona, and neither do you. 

Yes, we're sitting here pointing fingers again. It's Drumpf's fault because he dismantled Obama's prevention staff before the pandemic hit. Of course, the right thinks that there's no pandemic to speak of like an anti-Semite believing that the Holocaust never happened. Because of the false accusations spread about COVID-19 by the right-winged pricks who REALLY run the media, we end up with militia morons storming Michigan's State Capitol like they did last week. 

But, there's a very good reason why we have Drumpf in office. And yes, it's the Democrats' fault. 

Long before the days of cable and internet, most people watched television through an antenna on top of their homes. If you lived in a major city, you were blessed with maybe four TV stations. Smaller towns only had two and in some cases, one. When a town only had two TV stations but three major networks, one station carried CBS, another carried NBC and both shoehorned in a few shows here and there from ABC since they were the last place network. However, there were some dual-station markets were ABC was given carte blanche, and in the case of one major city, it fucked over The Beatles.

And that city was Birmingham, Alabama.

Despite being Alabama's biggest TV market, Birmingham only had two TV stations in 1964: WBRC-TV 6 and WAPI-TV 13. To make an extremely long story short, WBRC and WAPI had a similar arrangement like most small markets had: Channel 6 was CBS, 13 NBC and both had a few shows here and there from ABC. However, in 1961, WBRC, which was sold to Taft Television and Radio a few years earlier signed a full affiliation agreement with ABC. Taft was in good standing with the Alphabet Network and many of their stations - like Cincinnati's WKRC - were ABC affiliates. As a result, WAPI - then owned by the Newhouse family, which sadly owns my local newspaper The Grand Rapids Press - signed an agreement to bring as many shows CBS and NBC aired. However, WAPI did favor NBC slightly over CBS. As a result, many popular CBS programs weren't cleared in Birmingham, such as CBS Evening News With Walter Cronkite and yes, The Ed Sullivan Show. When The Beatles appeared on Sullivan in that fateful February in 1964, no TV station in Birmingham carried it. Instead, Birmingham Beatle fans had to try to find another CBS station elsewhere to watch the show. The other option was to suffer through two short-lived programs: ABC's Arrest and Trial and NBC's Grindl starring Imogene Coca. 

Thankfully, just a year after the Birmingham market stifled Beatle fans, WBMG Channel 42 signed on. Because it was a UHF station (and most TV sets didn't have UHF back then), they ended up carrying the shows rejected by 13, including the aforementioned Cronkite and Sullivan, plus The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. In 1970, the FCC finally ruled that if there were three network TV stations in one market, one had to choose one network only. WBRC-6 stayed with ABC while WAPI-13 went with NBC and WBMG-42 went CBS. 

Sadly, the two-party system in America is just like the Beatles situation in Birmingham. 

Traditionally, the Democrats were liberal/progressive while the Republicans were conservative. But thanks to people like Reagan lowering taxes for the 1% back in the 1980s, more money has been pumped into politics. And yes, don't get me started on how he fucked over the Fairness Doctrine in 1987, allowing assholes like Rush Limbaugh to spread their vitriol onto the masses. Since I was born, we've only had two Democrats as president and none of them were real progressives. Why? $$$. Most Americans chose Bernie Sanders as their Democratic candidate in 2016. Yet, thanks to Debbie Wassermann Schultz and her threats to the superdelegates, the fix was in. Instead of a candidate that wasn't a sellout like Bernie, Americans were force-fed Hillary Clinton. The end result? You guessed it: Drumpf got to become president and now, we're having to stay home because of this fucking virus.

Now, the Democratic National Committee is in another kerfuffle over the fact that they simply don't want to investigate Joe Biden because of Tara Reade's sexual assault allegations against him. Chairman Tom Perez is comparing the allegations to Hillary Clinton's emails from several years ago. Granted, the Repukes and progressives like me both can agree on something for once, and it's that we both think that Joe Biden is, well, weird. 

True, he's already been endorsed by both Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders, plus his ex-boss, Barack Obama. With the presidential election only months away, IF Biden is guilty, that means one thing, and one thing only: the DNC will have to give Bernie their blessing and it won't be good news for the world's billionaires.

Folks, when will the DNC learn? When will people learn? For the past several elections, the mantra has been that if you don't vote for the Democrat, shit will happen. In 2000, it was either a fake environmentalist and an asshole who wanted Howard Stern and Jerry Springer off the air vs. the drunk Texan whose ignorance caused 3,000 people to die on 9/11 and 4,500 more in all the fake wars he started. Yet, he got re-elected in 2004. When he left the White House in 2008, we had our worst recession since the Great Depression. When Obama ran for president, he acted like a progressive, but he wasn't. True, Obamacare has helped many, but it's still a kiss on the ass on the porked-up healthcare industry. The fact that he took a fake sip of water like a cunnilingus scene in a Skinemax movie in Flint, Michigan instead of slapping handcuffs on pRick Snyder shows that he's a coward to that respect.   

Now, the mantra is that if you don't vote for Biden in November, it's another four years for Drumpf and by 2024, America will be a wasteland. This country will be just like it was in the early 30s when dinner consisted of ketchup in hot, boiling water instead of Tomato Soup. Because of the DNC and their wealthy donors, the thought of having a true progressive in the White House is becoming more and more of a pipe dream. Like Sullivan was in Birmingham in the 1960s, real progressives are being demoted to a lowly, fringe signal (and to this day, Channel 42 in Birmingham is still CBS and still has horrid ratings). In the case for progressives, it's the Green Party. Of course, no third party candidate has ever been elected president and the only time the media talks about them, they pair them with the other fringe candidates like the Libertarians and whatever party Roseanne Barr was with when she ran for president some years ago. It's like people who think that all black people are bad. The reality is that the Green Party is simply the party that has a lot of the same visions Franklin D. Roosevelt had 90 years ago for America. However, that voice that yells "Chuck! A vote for the Green Party is a vote for Drumpf! Vote blue no matter who!" Sorry, but I'd rather vote for somebody whose values are right for America instead of somebody who's just as bad is the other guy. If Biden gets elected, fine. But, if Drumpf gets reelected, if I were the DNC, I would have no choice but to start listening to people instead of their billionaire masters.

As for Tara Reade, here's an idea: she needs to take a lie detector test. If she passes, Biden's fucked. Trust me. I've seen enough episodes of The Steve Wilkos Show to know that they're very accurate.

United We Stand, Divided We Fall.

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