Thursday, August 27, 2015

8.27.15 Bee-otches of the Day: The Republican Party


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: The Republican Party   
Age: 161
Occupation: right-winged jackasses
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: yet another shooting
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Just a few days ago, I was reading about people who actually died on camera.

There was British comedian Tommy Cooper who died of a massive heart attack on stage during a comedy routine. Christine Chubbuck was a local TV show host in Sarasota, FL who shot herself on the air, committing suicide. Normally, when we see somebody die on TV, it's just acting.

Sadly, what happened on WDBJ-TV in Roanoke, VA was anything but fake.

A reporter for the CBS affiliate, Alison Parker and her cameraman, Adam Ward were simply doing an interview with Vicki Gardner, who worked for a Chamber of Commerce in Moneta. During the interview on live television, gunshots started ranging out from the gun of Vester Flanigan, a former reporter at WDBJ who used the stage name Bryce Williams. Flanigan fled from the scene and during his escape from police, he shot himself and eventually died at a hospital.

Parker, who just turned 24 and Ward, 27 both died from their injuries while Gardner has been critically injured. Flanigan was apparently distraught over being fired from WDBJ two years ago and often spread hateful messages on his Facebook and Twitter accounts. He claimed to be infuriated that the station never accepted a gay black man on their staff and claimed that Parker and others used racial slurs against him.

The tragedy in Virginia is just another example as to why in the hell people with mental issues should never be close to a gun, period. The Republicans were given too many chances to give mandatory background checks to buy guns, but sadly, they all cry 2nd Amendment and claim that if we forced gun buyers to not freely buy them, our Founding Fathers would be spinning in their graves. The truth is, the Constitution was written when bearing arms meant owning a musket.

Look at this summer alone: Charleston, Lafayette, Nashville and now Roanoke. Why can't people just realize that if people are bugging you, just walk away? Blowing their brains out won't solve anything. Yesterday, people lost a son, a daughter, a soon-to-be wife and a soon-to-be husband.

I think this is America's fault for allowing this travesty to happen. They voted for the Repukes this past election and they've allowed stronger gun laws to not happen. Thanks to the Repukes, a man didn't get proper treatment for mental problems and the world lost Alison Parker and Adam Ward.

My thoughts are with the people of Roanoke. Together, #weareWDBJ

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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

8.26.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 69
Occupation: president wannabe
Last Seen: Dubuque, IA
Bee-otched For: being a racist asshole
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The war between the billionaire and Latinos continues to escalate.

Last night in Iowa during a press conference, Trump was asking questions when Jorge Ramos of Univision interrupted and started asking him about deportation amongst illegal immigrants. Infuriated, Trump ended up kicking Ramos out of the presser and told him to "go back to Univision". Ramos was ejected and Trump continued to answer questions regarding his campaign for president.

The slam against Ramos is the latest jab from Trump that he hopes will equate to votes from the angry old white people that his campaign is aiming for. Yes, he's the biggest clown in the clown car, but it's sick that he's making people think that it's the non-whites that are wrecking this very country. He thinks that building a bigger fence on the US-Mexican border will be the answer to our ills.

Look folks, racism is Donald Trump's stance. Yes, he'll rid us of the illegals as president - which should never happen since Christopher Columbus was an illegal himself - but under his aegis, the wealthy will get wealthier and we'll probably go into another war. I don't care, but as long as either Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden or Deez Nuts is our next president, I'm happy.

Anything but the Donald or his other assholes in the clown car.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

8.25.15 Bee-otch of the Day: televangelists


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupation: preachers
Last Seen: various
Bee-otched For: readying for an IRS asswhuppin'
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It's always amazing that a comedian on HBO is more investigative than NBC, CBS, ABC and (yup) Fox.

A week ago Sunday, Last Week Tonight starring former Daily Show correspondent John Oliver did a 20-minute review on televangelists and the "prosperity gospel" they preach. The televangelists tell their viewers that if they pay them money, they'll get more back. Sadly, some of these hucksters aim their message towards the poor and downtrodden and many use their celebrity to beg their followers to give them enough money to buy them everything from $65 million jet planes - such as the pleas from Cleflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland and Mike Murdock - to huge mansions that they claim to be "parsonages" since their ministries technically own them. Therefore, they don't pay taxes on them. He even touched on a woman who died of cancer and refused treatment all because she thought that paying Copeland thousands of dollars would cure her.

Oliver revealed that he gave one such preacher, Robert Tilton $319 and all he got from him was a ton of letters, oil, cloth and one dollar bills. In the segment, Oliver revealed that the IRS only audited one church in 2014 and two the year before. Even starting a church is beyond easy. The IRS doesn't even have a real definition of a church. Just as long as you have a building, meet every Sunday, yadda yadda yadda, well, there you go.

It reminds me of when WOOD-TV 8 here in Grand Rapids did an investigation on tax-exempt charities some time ago. Reporter Dani Carlson decided to name her charity after her dog, Dexter. Apparently, you don't even need to be an actual human to even form a 501(c)(3).

Now, because of Oliver's segment, the IRS is being pressured to investigate religious groups accused of taking money from individuals and using it to fuel their fortunes. This could be one of the biggest religious busts since the 1980s when Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, Jimmy Swaggert and others were all caught and some of them ended up seeing steel.

In the beginning, Oliver did touch that not all religious groups are bad. Some ACTUALLY do God's work, such as feed the hungry and clothe the poor. One town that's near and dear to my heart is Ellsworth, a small town of 379 about 50 miles north of Traverse City. Twenty-five years ago, the town had two grocers, a hardware, a bank, a few restaurants, a feed store that also served as the gas station and a few other small businesses. By 2008, the last grocer closed and downtown was loaded with for sale signs. Then, a group of local residents, including clergy formed an organization called Front Porch Ministries that established a community cafe that also helps the needy. They do recommend that people pay for their meals, but if money is an issue, they understand.

To me, that's what would Jesus do: help those in need, but force people into paying for jet planes and mansions. God bless those like John Oliver for exposing what's wrong with religion so we can fix it. It's because of people like Kenneth Copeland, Pat Robertson and others that I stayed away from organized religion for years. But, I found a light in the tunnel and now, I'm proud to be a part of one of the most-liberal churches in Grand Rapids. They don't own mansions, planes and they don't beg for money every two minutes. I see God there every Sunday, not excuses.

Remember, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to Heaven, even if it's God's money.


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Monday, August 24, 2015

8.24.15 Bee-otches of the Day: Planned Parenthood protesters

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: Grand Rapids and various other places
Bee-otched For: protesting over lies

---This past weekend, people in Grand Rapids could have taken advantage of the nice, sunny Saturday to watch cars go by on 28th Street.

But instead, they'd rather hold up signs and stand in front of Planned Parenthood all because of a heavily-edited video created by an extremist group.

The group was protesting PP over the video, in which executives claim that they sell the body parts of aborted fetuses for profit. For years, the right has all looked at PP as a group of baby killers, even though it's only 3% of their business. The rest is everything from teaching sex ed and providing contraceptives to various other things that help families and women alike.

Many are now pushing to defund PP over the video, including embattled state congressslut Cindy Gamrat, who called several weeks ago for the state of Michigan to no longer accept funding for PP only to have her career go up in flames a few days later because of her extramarital affair with fellow congressmaleslut Todd Courser. Despite Gamrat's immorality, the Bible thumpers all want PP to disappear all over a lie.

Folks, how would you like it if you never grew up with your biological parents? How about living in poverty? Living with a severe disability that you have to live with forever? I'm not saying that I'm for abortion. I'm for a woman's right to choose if she wants to be a mother or not. PP is a very vital organization, and if they get defunded over lies from the right, it'll be a sad day for all women everywhere.

Before you write hateful shit on a picket sign, learn the truth first.


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Thursday, August 20, 2015

8.20.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Jared Fogle


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.



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Name: Jared Fogle
Age: 37
Occupation: Subway spokesman
Last Seen: Indianapolis
Bee-otched For: being another pedo

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Bill Cosby, John Balyo, Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter all have another member to their little club.

Today, former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle will plead guilty in federal court for having sex with minors and receiving child pornography. He's expected to pay his 14 victims $100,000 each and serve a jail sentence of five to 12 years.

This is a dramatic downfall for a man who became a positive role model for many when he lost over 200 lbs. by walking to his local Subway for lunch every day instead of driving to a burger joint. He kept the weight off for years, but now, chances are that he'll be eating bread and water for a while.

A few weeks ago, an army of policemen raided Fogle's home after it was discovered that he might have had kiddie porn in his possession. However, it was linked to a former president of his Jared Foundation, which taught children proper nutrition. Now that Fogle is linked to the illegal porn and has been discovered to having sex with minors, it's safe to say that, well, he's one sick fuck.

Even worse, he has two kids and even a wife who is now divorcing him. As for Subway itself, it has cut all ties with the fallen spokesperson.

You know, just because you're a celebrity and a role model doesn't mean that you can break the law. Hell, if I met a celeb and he/she was doing something stupid, damn right I'm going to call the authorities. I don't care if you're Oprah, the law's the law. The aforementioned Jimmy Savile was a media sweetheart in England until his death in 2011 at age 85. He was a longtime host of Top of the Pops and even hosted Jim'll Fix It, a show that helped sick kids ala the Make-A-Wish Foundation. When Jimmy died, HUNDREDS of allegations poured out from people who claimed that he molested or raped them. One woman claimed that she was molested on camera on Top of the Pops. Jim's victims ranged from ages 5 to the late 50s, both male and female.

In the end, Subway will learn how to survive without Jared. Yes, the $5 footlong jingle is catchy, but I haven't heard it in a while. Hell, I think I see more ads for Checker's and Rally's Mr. Bag. He can't do no wrong because, well, it's just a paper bag designed to carry burgers and fries. Mr. Bag - 1, Jared - nada.

I guess I'll honor Jared's legacy by visiting my local Five Guys soon.

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Wednesday, August 19, 2015

8.19.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Debbie Schlussel


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Name: Debbie Schlussel
Age: 46
Occupation: conservative moron
Last Seen: Detroit
Bee-otched For: bashing a leader

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Last week, the world was shocked and saddened to learn that former president Jimmy Carter was diagnosed with cancer.

The 90-year-old had spent his post-presidential years working with the poor and helping those in need. Despite the fact that he lost the presidency in 1980 to Ronald Reagan, some could say that he should had lead this country well further into the 1980s but lost thanks to the Religious Reich and Reagan's tax cuts to the wealthy.

But leave it to Debbie Schlussel to take Carter's cancer diagnosis and hurt the poor man even further.

Yes, Debbie Schlussel is still alive and well. She used to call in to the Howard Stern Show frequently and even had a show on his Detroit affiliate, 97.1. Last week, when Carter's cancer diagnosis was revealed, Schlussel made this VERY mean tweet: "A cancer has cancer".

OK, Debbie, so what did Jimmy Carter did to you? Did he poop in your Corn Flakes? The real cancer was Reagan and his abuse to the nation plus the two Bushes and their wars and leading America to one of the worst economies in history. Carter built houses for the poor while Dubya gets to live in a nice, big mansion when he should be rotting in jail for the destruction he made to Iraq. It's conservative bitches like you who are a cancer to society.

Jimmy Carter planted peanuts while Debbie Schlussel... Is a nut.  

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Monday, August 17, 2015

8.17.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Cindy Gamrat


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Name: Cindy Gamrat
Age: 42
Occupation: state congresswoman
Last Seen: Plainwell, MI
Bee-otched For: not backing down


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The lovebird known as Cindy Gamrat pulled a Jimmy Swaggart on Friday.

The embattled congresswoman apologized to everybody for her sordid relationship with fellow Tea Party congressman Todd Courser. It was announced a week ago that the two had a secret relationship and Courser paid a staffer to send a phony email to cover it up with an even bigger scandal that involved Courser with a male prostitute. The media ate it up and now, many of her fellow Republicans are even begging Gamrat to step down from her post.

But, she won't.

Gamrat plans to stay although there are investigations into her and Courser's wrongdoings that might as well cost them their jobs.

She has been well-known for being anti-gay, pro-life and pretty much a black sheep amongst her fellow Republicans. And this, my friend was before she and Courser were caught with their pants down. She even made headlines when she proposed cutting funding for Planned Parenthood over the doctored tape showing an employee telling an undercover pro-life supporter that they sell organs for money.

If there's two people who need to lose their jobs NOW, it's Gamrat and Courser. Nobody who claims to be working for God and yet they break one of his Commandments should be worthy of getting kicked out of office. OK, so I supported Bill Clinton. Unlike Gamrat, Clinton created jobs and boosted the economy. Gamrat's only there to kiss the Koch Brothers' asses and that's it. The PEOPLE of her district need to speak out. We don't need fake Jebus freaks running our government.

Cartoonist Mike Thompson said it best: Cindy deserves an A for her speech. The A should be implanted on her torso. 

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Thursday, August 13, 2015

8.13.15 Bee-otches of the Day: northern Michigan radio stations


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Name: northern Michigan radio stations
Age: various
Occupation: supposed entertainers and informers of the public
Last Seen: Traverse City, Petoskey, etc.
Bee-otched For: storm? What storm?

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A week ago Sunday, a big nasty storm ripped apart northern Michigan.

High winds, hail and lots of rain rattled huge chunks of the Traverse City area. Even governor Rick Snyder has declared a state of emergency for Grand Traverse County since even 11 days after the storm, some roads - like the ones leading into Glen Arbor - could not be driven on. Eighty to 100 MPH winds were even recorded for Leelanau County and thousands were left without power.

Obviously, the big TV news stations in town had their weather staff tracking the mighty storm. But however, radio was another story.

According to a friend of mine in Traverse City who used to work in radio, he went downstairs at his house with a small, battery-powered radio with him. He wanted up-to-the-minute storm updates, but all he got was music, commercials and voicetracked banter. Virtually no station in the Traverse City area warned their listeners about the storm as it was pounding the Cherry Capitol.

Angered, my friend contacted a friend of his who works at a radio station in TC, and he proclaimed that yes, all the stations in his cluster were all on autopilot during the DeathStorm. Talk about commitment to the community... NOT.

It reminds me on 9/11 when many of the radio stations up north were piping in CNN, Fox News, etc. Yet, the now-defunct 95.5/94.5 The Zone was voicetracked. I remember their midday jock, Kimberly Fox saying how it was a "beautiful day" while thousands of people were killed. In the nearly 14 years since that fateful day, radio up north has only gotten worse, and in many cases, much worse than Clear Channel/iHeartMedia, Cumulus and the like. Hell, there's stations that hardly have any staff, period!

What might be the SMH moment in this situation is that there's hardly any public outcry over the bullshit actions created by northern Michigan's radio groups. Maybe it's because many up north have abandoned listening to local radio altogether. Satellite and internet radio have such a better product that it's not funny. True, local radio has to air commercials and edit their songs to conform to FCC rules and regs, but they can make up for it by having a live jock in the damn studio warning Traverse City that they're about to kiss their asses goodbye. Open House Party can live another day. It's the duty of ALL radio stations to serve and protect their listeners.

The slogan for northern Michigan's radio stations should be "you're all gonna die".
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

8.12.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder


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Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 57
Occupation: Michigan governor
Last Seen: Lansing, MI
Bee-otched For: keeping mum
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Silence isn't golden.

As we've been reporting for the past few days, two of our state's legislators, Todd Courser (R-Lapeer) and Cindy Gamrat (R-Plainwell) have been caught in an affair. Courser tried to hide the adultery with a fake email claiming that he was caught having sex with a male prostitute. 

Many - even fellow Republicans - are asking for the resignations of both Courser and Gamrat. So where does our beloved governor stand on this issue?

Nuthin'.

Speaking with a group of reporters at Wayne State University, Snyder didn't want to talk about whether or not the two should be expelled from their jobs. All he said was that House Speaker Kevin Cotter (R-Mt. Pleasant) is handing the situation appropriately.

However, the governor claims that the affair should be something that the voters should vote on. So in other words, this could lead to a possible recall election.

On the other hand, House Minority Leader Tim Griemel (D-Auburn Hills) is asking for an investigation by Attorney General Bill Schuette.

Personally, I think that our governor has shown that he has no backbone. He's quiet on issues important to the state such as gay rights and now the sordid affair in the state House. I think he's mum because he simply wants the two to stay and help him destroy this state. If I lived in the districts where the two represent, damn right I'd want them out. Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat are a disgrace to this state and they must disappear.

Maybe they ought to take the runny Turd with them.
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Tuesday, August 11, 2015

8.11.15 Bee-otches of the Day: people who bash Michael Moore


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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: various
Bee-otched For: bashing Michael Moore

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Last week, it was announced that Michael Moore was selling his house on Torch Lake near Traverse City.

The filmmaker's house is actually in the possession of his ex-wife, whom he divorced in 2013. The asking price for the seven bedroom, eight bathroom home is $5.3 million. The house also has a gym, an art studio and a cottage for guests.

Many have criticized the man behind "Fahrenheit 9/11" and "Bowling For Columbine" because of his anti-capitalistic views, yet he has homes such as this one. The comments section of UpNorthLive.com's coverage of Moore's house-selling are loaded with fat jokes ("The gym was never used") and idiots who trash Moore for being a one-percenter himself. OK, time to elaborate on a few things.

When I was a teen, I had an uncle who worked at Time Warner. He and his family live just down the road from Pine Knob-er, DTE Energy Music Theater and had access to everything: movies, concerts, you name it. The family was always on the go. Me? I was stuck up in northern Michigan, where I was stuck with two parents who hate each other, hardly any rock concerts that ever came to town, movie theaters that were cheaply built and a de facto rock station that didn't give two shits about anybody born before 1970. What made me even more jealous was that in my cousin's bedroom, there was a picture of him alongside his brother and father standing next to Adam Sandler. What had happened was Sandler was in Detroit promoting a comedy album, which was on (surprise) Warner Bros. Records.

Now, would Sandler ever come and visit northern Michigan? FUCK NO. I'll betcha that he's never even heard of Traverse City. But, Michael Moore has. He's been living in the TC area for years and it's nice to know that yes, celebrities do reside in the area that some think is a rather big hick town. Moore, Mario Batali, Madonna, Julie Kavner and others call northern Michigan home.

You see, I now live in Grand Rapids and sometimes, I wish I could move back up north. Here, every other building has the name "Devos" or "Fox Motors" or "Amway" on it. The Devoses live in houses that make Mike's old pad look like a shanty. Unlike Moore, who speaks 100% truth in his movies, those Hollander assholes made their billions selling snake oil and selling it through distributors that they've ripped off over the past 56 years through their pyramid scheme. I'll betcha that they don't give two shits about Traverse City, even though they own the town's 114-year-old Ford franchise.

Michael Moore? Well, he took a long-abandoned movie house, the State Theater, remodeled it and turned it into a community art house that's enjoyed by thousands of people each year. Not to mention, they even have 25-cent movies! He also took an abandoned museum and did the same thing: turned it into another movie house, the Bijou by the Bay. The State and Bijou, alongside other venues in the area have given TC its popular Traverse City Film Festival year after year. One year, it even brought in Madonna. This year's big celeb was legendary filmmaker Roger Corman.

I'm also proud that Moore has finished his first new movie in six years, "Where to Invade Next", which talks about this country's love of war. The film will debut at the Toronto Film Festival and is now looking for a distributor for a holiday release date. I hope this movie will do well, especially better than Adam Sandler's bust of a shitflick "Pixels".

If you live in northern Michigan, love the fact that you have Michael Moore. Love the fact that you now have two more screens of movies to check out in the Cherry Capitol. I'll betcha that if it weren't for Moore, Carmike would be comfortable with their shitty, outdated, overpriced shoe box cinemas. Now, they're building a 14-screener with an IMAX. Yes, it's competition for Moore and TCFF, but if Royal Oak's legendary Main Art Theatre can survive with a megaplex behind it, so can the State and Bijou.

Be thankful you have Michael Moore telling the truth than Republican Adam Sandler making baby noises. 
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Monday, August 10, 2015

8.10.15 Bee-otches of the Day: Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat


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Names: Todd Courser and Cindy Gamrat
Ages: 43, 42
Occupations: state legislators
Last Seen: Lapeer, Plainwell
Bee-otched For: proving that the GOP is the party of family values

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Busted.

Last week, she lovingly gave Cindy Gamrat the Bee-otch of the Day because she wanted Michigan to no longer accept funding for Planned Parenthood. This, of course, came about since a heavily-edited video came out showing a PP employee telling an undercover anti-abortion advocate that they sold unborn children's organs and such.

Gamrat also opposed homosexuality and was even kicked out of congressional meetings for spreading confidential information. Now, the tea party favorite's political career is under fire.

The Detroit News revealed last week that Gamrat is having an affair with fellow Republican state rep Todd Courser, who distributed a false email claiming that he had sex with a male prostitute to hide his relationship with Gamrat. Even worse, it was discovered that the two used taxpayer funds to hide their relationship.

In Gamrat's case, she's married with three children. So much for her so-called "family values".

I think it's nothing short of shameful that we pay these fuckers to make up our laws. They tell us that we need to protect unborn kids, but now, Gamrat's children are probably fucking embarrassed that their mother is a cheating slut. They probably wished that they were aborted.

The moral of the story is that when neo-cons like Courser and Gamrat shove their bullshit into our face, they end up getting caught in an affair or sleeping with children. People with these types of false values are a cop-out to so many and it causes people to vote Democrat. I hope the two are forced to resign.

You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
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