Thursday, January 27, 2011

1.27.11 Bee-otch of the Day: WFQX-TV (for STILL airing The 700 Club)

Age: 21
Occupation: northern Michigan's Fox affiliate
Last Seen: Federal Cadillac, MI
Bee-otched For: being one of a kind in the whole state of Michigan 
Today, I can say this: I love Jerry Springer.
For years, I'll admit that I've been a big fan of what TV Guide has called "the worst show in television history". I loved coming home from school everyday while living in northern Michigan in the 1990's and it would be on at 3 on the local NBC station, WPBN-TV 7&4. There was a reason why it was on that early: it was getting better ratings than Oprah and the fights and weird guests proved it. Tragically, 7&4 moved the show to a dead-end timeslot and replaced it with (ugh) Crook and Chase. Assholes. 

Eventually, I moved to Grand Rapids, and once again, I was reunited with 'ol Jerry at 1:35 in the morning on WWMT Channel 3, our CBS outlet. However, he moved to a more-desirable timeslot, 9 a.m., and eventually 12 noon on a not-so-good station, WXSP, the MyNetworkTV station at channel 8.2 or a bunch of low-powered sticks, depending on your locale. Thankfully, I have a DVR, so once again, I'm reunited with the trannies and strippers that make the show great. 

On Wednesday, Jerry did something I thought he would never do: be a guest on The Howard Stern Show. After all, he's close pals with Mancow and even hosted a special for Opie and Anthony. But now that he tapes his show in nearby Connecticut instead of Chicago, I figured that it would be time to bow to the King of All Media. In the interview, Jerry talked about everything from the fact that most of his family was killed in the Holocaust to his modest upbringing to politics to his infamous TV show. He also talked about his family life and the fact that he has a great relationship with his wife of 37 years and the fact that his daughter overcame being born deaf and blind and with no nose holes to being a great wife and mother. 

Needless to say, I feel less guilty to even love The Jerry Springer Show. Say whatever you want, but it's still on the air after 20 years and it still has a huge audience. Plus, you can watch it anywhere in Michigan...
...Except Marquette and Traverse City. 

In the case of Marquette, he was on the local Fox affiliate, WMQF 19. However, its owner, Equity Broadcasting, bellied-up and the station was sold to a construction company in Wisconsin. Fox ended up giving their affiliation to WLUC-TV 6, who in turn smacked it on their .2 as "Fox UP". WMQF is now WZMQ and is now affiliated with MyNetworkTV, ThisTV and AntennaTV. However, the station doesn't air any synidcated shows, and Fox UP airs mainly shows from America One during off hours. 

As for TC, well, here's the story: 7&4 finally gave up on Jerry in the early 2000's and WFQX Fox 33 took the show. As a matter of fact, they even aired it twice a day, middays and night. However, they canceled the show two or three years ago, right around the time the station was sold to a company called Cadillac Telecasting. Cadillac ended up in a shared services agreement with local CBS station WWTV 9&10. Technically, under FCC rules, WWTV and WFQX cannot be co-owned because of northern Michigan's market size, plus the fact that they only have four commercial TV stations (the other two being 7&4 and WGTU ABC 29&8, which are now run by Barrington Broadcasting). But if James Norris can own The Detroit Red Wings and "own" the Chicago Blackhawks via Bill Tobin, anything's possible. After all, 9&10's parent is a man named Mario Iacobelli and what is now Fox 32's parent is a man from Arizona. Mario owns properties in the Grand Canyon State, so I wouldn't be too surprised if the "owner" of 32 is Mario's puppet.

But bear in mind that since 9&10 is one of the very few independently-owned network TV stations in America - despite being once owned by TV giant Sparton in the 1950's and sports team owners John Fetzer and Ralph Wilson - that they don't have the budgets many stations it size has. So, they're picky with programming. Remember The Howard Stern Radio Show on Saturday nights? Well, they canned it partially due to content concerns even though they aired it a 1 a.m. They were even one of a small handful of stations that decided not to show CBS's 9/11 documentary some years ago, also due to content. Instead, they replaced it with a Robin Williams movie and even sold some ad time to politicians (it was election season). The 9/11 documentary had no commercial slots, so basically put, the station ended up putting money in front of viewers. 

What's laughable now is that on Fox 32, they've decided to put Jerry's sister show Maury - which is beating Oprah on multiple national demos - at the embarrassingly lame timeslot of 3 in the morning, buried in a sea of infomercials. Thankfully, The Steve Wilkos Show - Jerry's old security guard - is seen up north on the cable-only affiliate of The CW during the day. 

So, what does WFQX show in the day that keeps Jerry off the air and Maury on at a time nobody's watching? Yep! The 700 Club. Fox 32 started carrying the show when 29&8 was "sold" to Barrington, which apparently doesn't want anything to do with 'ol Pat Robertson and his doings. But then again, who does? Oh, yes, Heritage Broadcasting, since a whopping chunk of their broadcast schedule is filled with infomercials and religious shows on BOTH 9&10 and 32. Hell, there's a one-hour block of 'em leading into The Price is Right on 9&10! I can't believe that they're the #1 TV station in northern Michigan. 

Even worse, 32 is one of only TWO TV stations in all of Michigan that still carry The 700 Club, the other one being Detroit's MyNetworkTV hub, WMYD 20 (which BTW, carries Jerry, Maury and Steve). And even worser, 32 is the sole station in the whole state that will carry at least some of the infamous 700 Club beg-a-thon that has aired every Sunday before the Super Bowl. Back when 29&8 carried the show, they would even yank important basketball games off the air to carry Pat Robertson's evil dreck. 

Folks, Pat Robertson's the devil, plain and simple. He tells people that he and God are best buddies and convinces sore losers to give him their life savings to make them feel great. Wanna know something? I once dated a girl from Manceltucky-er, Mancelona who lived in a trailer with another trailer in the back yard with its roof caved in. Oh, and I saw an envelope from The 700 Club on the table, probably because her family were smoking Pat's crack. Maybe if they weren't giving their money to his BS, they would be in a nice, site-built home. 

In his interview with Stern, Springer was asked why he quit his radio talk show from a few years ago. The answer is simple: the liberals have won. The conservatives THINK they own the airwaves, but people are smart enough to know the truth. Maybe that's why The 700 Club is on over-the-air in northern Michigan and Detroit: two totally different broadcast areas with a ton of poor people living in dilapidated houses in the projects or in broken-down trailers in South Boardman. Pat Robertson's out there to enter the minds of the most-vulnerable and rob them of their soul. It worked for Scott Roeder, who killed abortion doctor George Tiller. He was a huge fan of Pat's. 

So, here's an idea: instead of donating to Patty Boy and his cronies, here's an organization Springer fans (and everybody) should donate to: It's an organization that makes wigs for children batting cancer and other diseases that cost them of their hair. Go to their website and learn more about this awesome organization. 

Wigs 4 Kids' tie-in with Springer is the fact that its founder, Maggie Varney - a Detroit News Michigander of the Year - is the mother of long-time show producer Rachelle Consiglio-Wilkos, aka Mrs. Steve Wilkos.
While Pat Robertson is in his massive Virginia mansion - complete with a helipad - counting his money from his horses (after all, he owns several horse tracks), Maggie's out in her salon near Detroit building wigs for sick kids. Sorry, but if there's a real angel out there, it's the mother of a woman whose show is famous for fake synthetic wigs flying off a black woman's head during a fight. 

As for Fox 32 and 9&10, they need to feel sad for themselves. Thankfully, Mario - who's in his 70's - can't own his stations forever. Who knows? Maybe he'll sell to Mike Illitch and his family. I hope the next owner of 9&10 and 32 will realize that people come first and not money. But thankfully in the meantime, somewhere on the web, full episodes of Springer are on the web. 

In closing, as Jerry says, "take care of yourselves, and each other". Just don't take care of Pat. 

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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

1.26.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Jared Loughner

Name: Jared Loughner
Age: 22
Occupation: inmate
Last Seen: Federal Correctional Institution, Phoenix, AZ
Bee-otched For: being not guilty 
If I ruled the world, he'd be dead by now.
During Tuesday's State of the Union address, there was an empty seat and it had Gabby Giffords' name on it.
Giffords is in Houston right now at a rehabilitation center. Just recently, her condition improved to good. Not bad for a woman who was shot in the brain not long ago. The story of Giffords' recovery has the nation letting her into its heart. Now, we wait to hear if she's able to talk since she has a breathing tube in her throat.
Needless to say, the Safeway shooting where Giffords was the target claimed the lives of several others, including federal judge John Roll and young nine-year-old Christina Green. The man who killed six people and injured fourteen...

...Just plead "not guilty".

Yep! Jared Loughner, through his lawyer plead not guilty, even though more murder charges are on its way for the troubled 22-year-old high school and college dropout. Not to mention, Arizona does not permit a plea of not guilty while insane, but guilty yet insane. Mind you, while he was detained from the crime scene, Loughner was crying "I plead the 5th!"

Ya know, I understand that Loughner does have rights. One of them is the right to a fair trial. Legally, we can't jam a needle into his arm and call it good. Why? Because maybe, he is insane enough not to be thrown into the death penalty. But, who knows?

All we know is that people died that day and it was taken away by a man who just couldn't function in life. Is that proof enough?


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

1.25.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Parents Television Council

Name: Parents Television Council
Age: 16
Occupation: right-winged group of BS-ers
Last Seen: Los Angeles/Alexandria, VA
Bee-otched For: getting skinned 
It seems that every few years or so, MTV actually comes up with programming that actually involves some brains to make.

And yes, when it airs, the religious right bitches and MTV ends up bowing to their pressure. Just ask Beavis and Butt-head and Jackass

In the late 70's, ABC brought the saucy British sitcom Man About the House to America as Three's Company and even though the Alphabet Network toned it down for American audiences, it was still sexy enough for a Southern preacher named Donald Wildmon to create an organization called the American Family Association that targeted such shows. 

Now, it's Skins' turn. It was a hit show in England, even spawning a movie now in production. MTV decided to create an American version of the show, and despite it being somewhat toned down for us more-conservative Americans, it's still creating havoc. Several groups such as the Parents Television Council are objecting to the fact that the show depicts minors engaged in sexual activity, such as lesbian kissing and masturbation. Even worse, some of the show's actors are indeed underage, the youngest being 15.
Since the show debuted last week to 3.3 million viewers, it has lost multiple sponsors, including GM, Yum Brands (which owns Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut, A&W and Long John Silvers), H&R Block and as of Monday, Subway and L'Oreal. However, MTV is still standing by its hit, claiming that it deals with teenage issues in a frank manner, such as not just sex, but drugs and bullying. 

The PTC has even considered prompting the government into an investigation into the show, claiming that it violates American child pornography laws since it depicts minors in sex acts. Bear in mind that there's other media showing adults playing minors engaged in sexual activity. Ever seen the 1995 film Kids? Same thing: several teens in real life engaged in fake sex. True story: it was originally rated NC-17 for its depictions of teenage sex, alongside the film's abundance of swearing, drug use and even a scene of gruesome violence. 

However, the film almost never saw the light of day because its distributor, Miramax was being purchased by Disney, who didn't want anything to do with it. So, Miramax's founders, the Weinstein brothers released it themselves unrated. On its first week, they warned theatres not to allow those under 17, honoring its former rating. However, parents and critics asked the Weinsteins to recant their decision since the film was about teens. Plus, the film itself had a moral since one of the characters - played by a young Chloe Sevigny - gets AIDS from having multiple partners. 

Maybe while they're at it, the PTC oughta look into Turner Classic Movies as well for showing Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains uncut and uncensored. Why? Because there's a scene where a 16-year-old Diane Lane walks into a shower buck-assed naked. *GASP!* Her naked butt and even some side boob was exposed! Quick! Call CFS so they could get into their time machine and make some arrest - no, wait, the film was made in Canada. Never mind. Plus, TCM has shown some 1970s British horror movies featuring naked 16-year-olds.
Ya know something? I think it's one thing when there's a minor engaged in real sex or simulated. True, there's the Traci Lords fiasco of the 1980's that damn near killed the porn industry, but even though I've never seen Skins, I'll betcha that what they do on that show is NOTHING close to what Lords did when she was 16.   

You see, people, IT'S ONLY A TV SHOW. If you don't like it, CHANGE THE GODDAMNED CHANNEL. I think our government has better things to do than worry about a bunch of teens making out in front of a camera. Oh, and bear in mind that one of the PTC's members, Billy Ray Cyrus's daughter Miley had that pictorial at 16 where she got partially naked. 



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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Monday, January 24, 2011

1.24.11 Bee-otch of the Day: MSNBC


Age: 15
Occupation: cable news network
Last Seen: New York City
Bee-otched For: leaning backward 
Looks like if you have ratings and you're on NBC, you better watch your ass. 

Last year, NBC screwed over Conan O'Brien by yanking him off the 11:35 slot for the return of Jay Leno. In the end, Coco left NBC and ended up on cable's TBS. 

Now, prepare for the revolt of Keith Olbermann. 

On Friday, the host of the network's top-rated Countdown announced that the night's program would be his last. No reason was given for Olbermann's dismissal, although he did have two more years on his contract with the network. 

Many believe that it stemmed from his suspension last year for giving political funds to several Democratic candidates behind his bosses' backs, which is a no-no. However, bear in mind that last week, NBC Universal - which owns 82% of MSNBC with the rest being owned by Microsoft - was given the go-ahead by the FCC to be majority purchased by Comcast, the nation's largest cable operator. 

However, sources say that the Comcast-NBC merger had nothing to do with Olbermann's departure, but who knows? 

A former ESPN anchor, Olbermann had two stints at MSNBC; the first time was in the late 1990's when he hosted The Big Show. However, since the Monica Lewinsky scandal broke out, his show was taken off the air for the prolonged White House in Crisis. He left the network in disgrace, going to Fox Sports Network. However, he returned to the fledgling MSNBC in 2003 to host Countdown

Many felt that it was Olbermann who helped MSNBC finally gain ground after years living in the shadows of Fox News Channel and CNN. Countdown became the network's most-popular show and prompted the network to add more liberal shows such as Ed Schultz and Rachel Maddow. 

The demise of Keith's show will definitely leave a hole in MSNBC's schedule. While the network will has Schultz and Maddow's show, the 8 p.m. slot is now occupied by Lawrence O'Donnell's The Last Word.
Ya know, MSNBC has ratings higher than CNN because of Olbermann. They have shown that liberal TV can do well in the sea of right-winged bullshitlery. True, I didn't watch Countdown daily because of my busy, busy schedule, but when I did, Keith didn't fail to entertain.

MSNBC, good luck trying to fill Keith's shoes, because you can't. 


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

1.20.11 Bee-otch of the Day: House of Representatives


Name: The House of Representatives
Age: 224
Occupation: legislators
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: trying to screw over America
America, you get what you've voted for.
It's official: The House of Representatives have made an official vote to repeal the health care overhaul created by President Obama. Last night, the House passed the bill, 245-189 with all members of the GOP voting to repeal the bill along with three Democrat-er, hypocrites.

Now, the GOP-lead house wants to create their own health care bill, since they claim that Obama's bill would raise taxes on the wealthy and kill-er, I mean destroy jobs. Under the Republican plan, there would be limits to what people could get in malpractice suits, 30 million Americans would be without health care plus insurance companies could deny people coverage because of so-called "pre-existing conditions". Now, the House will work with the major committees to work out their plan for health care.
But, the good news is that the Senate's still run by the Democrats. As a matter of fact, Sen. Harry Reid has already told the media that the bill may not even see the light of day in the Senate.

Under the Obama health care plan, 30 million uninsured Americans will have insurance by 2019. Plus, people who are in the Medicare donut hole won't have to spilt their prescriptions in half just to afford them.
Folks, I just can't understand the GOP. Ever wonder why you don't see many people from Canada or England here in America? IT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE BETTER HEALTH CARE THAN WE DO. Here in America, the health insurance companies can rob you blind because of excuses. If you get sick in America, you're in deep shit.

By the way things are looking, Obama's getting a second term as-is. I think Americans want a president who can work with the common man instead of Bush who made things worse for the average person. The GOP may own the House, but still, most of their policies will be thrown under the bus.

Nice try, GOP, but you lose.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

1.19.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Traverse City Record-Eagle


Name: Traverse City Record-Eagle
Age: 153
Occupation: newspaper
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: making you pay
Man, does the media in my hometown of Traverse City suck.

You've got four TV stations with two common "owners" who limit the viewing choices for viewers up north (just count the daily infomercials on Fox 33-er, 32), the FM band is bombarded with 90 billion repeater stations causing listeners to have fewer listening choices in regard to format, plus, as a rock fan, there's four rock stations that all seem to have a license to play Ted Nugent and Bob Segar at any given time...
...And now, if you want to know what's going on in the Cherry Capitol, ya gotta pay.

Last week, the well-loved newspaper of record in Traverse City, the Record-Eagle started doing something that angered their readers outside of their distribution area: they started charging for content.

That's right! On their webpage, if you click on a story, it will tell readers a brief summarization of it and tell you what page number to turn to in the newspaper edition of the paper. Oh yeah! You can read the paper online via their e-edition which is free for three days, but after that, it's $9.95 per month.

True, you'd get the whole paper online, but the question is, why would anybody want to pay $10 per month to get a lot of the same info you'd get free elsewhere? For an example: comics. Many of the R-E's funnies are available for free on their syndicator's websites (i.e. Same with movie listings, sports and what-not.

Plus, bear in mind that the R-E isn't the only company doing news in town. Ever hear of, the common website for TV 7&4 and ABC 29&8? Yep, they're not alone.

Point is, the R-E is selling out. I've got too many bills as-is, and I don't need to waste $10 on a paper that recently endorsed a prick like Rick Snyder for governor (he probably paid them to do so, but who knows?). Sorry, but unless they change their ways, I'm going elsewhere for my northern Michigan news.

And I'm writing this on the same day the FCC approves the Comcast/NBC merger. What is this world coming to...


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

1.18.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Canadian Broadcast Standards Council


Name: Canadian Broadcast Standards Council
Age: 21
Occupation: broadcast regulators
Last Seen: Canada
Bee-otched For: getting their Money For Nothing and their chicks for free

Several months ago, I was watching the CBC while I was in the Detroit area on cable. Lo-and-behold, they played Kill Bill Vol. 2 complete with violence and profanities intact. The sole editing made to the movie was to make way for commercials. 
Several years previous, I was watching the CTV affiliate in Sault Ste. Marie, ON on an e-skip at my mother's house in rural Antrim County, MI. They were airing a documentary on sex, complete with a brief close-up shot of a woman's vagina as she masturbated. Of course, they aired this program at Midnight, complete with a parental advisory warning. 

You might think that hearing and reading all this that Canada's a no-man's land when it comes to censorship. Well, you're wrong. 

Remember several years ago when Howard Stern's affiliate in Toronto got slammed with a warning from their equivalent of our FCC? It was for the word "retard". According to the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council, you cannot call a minority any words that might be sensitive to them. Because of the CBSC's antics - plus the fact that Q107 was eventually bought out by a family-friendly company, Corus - Stern disappeared from the Toronto airwaves. 

But now, the CBSC's at it again. Last week, the organization ruled that Dire Straits' 1985 #1 pop and rock hit (in both U.S. and Canada mind you) "Money For Nothing" can no longer be played in its entirety, even though it's been played millions of times in the past 26 years. The reason: the song's use of the F-word. 

Nope, not the F-dash-dash-dash word that got little Ralphie in trouble in A Christmas Story, but the F-dash-dash-dash-dash-dash word that rhymes with "maggot" and is used to rudely describe gay men. 

But since this website is intended to be R-rated and is protected under the First Amendment, we'll say it anyway: "faggot".

The CBSC claimed that "Money For Nothing" breached its code of ethics and that "like other racially driven words in the English language, 'faggot' is one that, even if entirely or marginally acceptable in earlier days, is no longer so." The song mentions the word thrice in the second verse: 

"The little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy, that's his own hair
That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's a millionaire."

The ban came when a listener of rock station CHOZ/Oz FM St. Johns, Newfoundland and Labrador complained to the CBSC claiming that it was too homophobic to air. However, as soon as the ruling was made, two rock stations in Halifax and Edmonton protested by playing the full version of the song for one hour straight.

Bear in mind that Canada does have some strange broadcast laws, like the CanCon rule that radio stations must play 40% Canadian content. While the CBSC does rule on what's acceptable or not, it's still not the CRTC, which is the real FCC of Canada. What the CBSC is doing is similar to the National Association of Broadcasters here in America, which has their own standards of broadcasting.

It's also worth noting that Dire Straits' lead singer Mark Knopfler wrote the song while visiting an electronics store and seeing one of their working class employees bickering about the artists playing on MTV. The "little faggot" reference referred to Motley Crue, surprise, surprise.

Look, I understand that this is 2011 and that 1985 was a generation ago. People back then pushed to abolish offending terms like "faggot" and "nigger" because they hurt. But guess what? GAYS AND BLACKS USE THOSE WORDS, TOO! I understand that Canada probably doesn't have the free speech laws we have here in the states, so who are we REALLY protecting? 

Thanks, but it makes me happier that I own an MP3 player and a Sirius. It'll come in handy when I see some pink on CTV.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!