Wednesday, December 30, 2015



Lots of cheaters, sadly....
Well, it's been almost 10 years since northern Michigan has gotten a full 12+ Arbitron/Nielsen ratings book, and three years since Nielsen has handed out a full book with all of the stations listed. So, we've taken the liberty of taking all of the stations up north and checking out their Facebook pages. The more likes each station has, the better. True, there's that stupid option of buying likes, but I think most of the stations toned it down this year.
this year's rank/last year's rank/number of Facebook likes/call letters/(station name, dial position, format, etc)
1-1) 37,888 WKHQ (106 KHQ - CHR)
2-2 )12,754 WJZQ (Z93 - CHR)
3-3) 9,250 WLXT (Lite 96.3 - AC)
4-4) 8,769 WTCM-FM (103.5/93.5 - Country)
5-5) 8,327 WMKC (102.9 Big Country Hits)
6-6) 5,921 WZTC (104.5 Bob-FM - Variety Hits)
7-8) 5,270 WCDY (107.9 WCDY - CHR)
8-7) 4,677 WKLT (97.5/98.9 KLT - Classic-leaning Rock)
9-10) 3,324 WGFM (Rock 105 - Active Rock)
10-11) 1,832 WTCM-AM (NewsTalk 580; actually Ron Jolly's page)
11-12) 1,673 WUPS (98.5 - Classic Hits)
12-13) 1,500 WQON/WGRY (Q100 - Rock and Y101 - CBS Sports; both share a FB page) 
13-15) 989 WSRT (ESPN 106.7/105.5) 
14-14) 862 WDEE (Sunny 97.3 - Oldies)
15-17) 811 WGFN (The Bear 98.1/107.1/97.7 - Classic Rock)
16-16) 758 WCCW-FM (Classic Hits 107.5)
17-19) 757 WMJZ (Eagle 101.5 - Classic Hits)
18-18) 646 WTWS (92.1 The Twister - Country)
19-20) 545 WYPV (94.5 Patriot Voice - Teabagger Talk)
20-22)  370 WMKT (1270 - Conservative Talk)
21-9) 229 WLXV (96.7 The Bull - Country; station re-launched this year)
22-24)  224 WQEZ (Easy 95-5/106-3 - Soft AC)
23-26) 209 WFCX (94.3/92.5 The Fox - 80s/90s Classic Hits)
24-25) 191 WJML (1110/1210 - Talk)
25-23) 187 WMBN (1340 The Ticket - Fox Sports)
26-21) 119 WLDR (101.9 The Bay - AC; FB page was re-launched (again) this year)
27-27)  90 WCCW-AM (1310 The Score - CBS Sports)

1) 1830 WTCM-FM
2) 1647 WMKC
3) 1616 WCDY
4) 1070 WLXT
5) 794 WGFM
6) 763 WKLT
7) 603 WQON/WGRY
8) 574 WJZQ
9) 391 WUPS
10) 306 WZTC
11) 227 WMJZ
12) 218 WKHQ
13) 198 WTCM-AM
14) 188 WSRT
15) 182 WMKT
16) 114 WYPV
17) 112 WFCX
18) 104 WGFN
19) 70 WTWS
20) 61 WQEZ
21) 41 WJML
22) 39 WDEE
23) 34 WMBN
24) 3 WCCW-AM

My Thoughts...

*One of the biggest issues with using Facebook likes as ratings is that whomever is in charge of station Facebook pages could indeed doctor likes by simply buying them. Remember last year when the old WLXV/Mix 96 exploded from 17th place to 9th? Well, now they're country as The Bull. Last year, KHQ gained over 7,000 likes. This year, they only gained a paltry 218. It's proof that using Facebook likes is simply not the best way of detecting popularity, but when we have stations that are perennial losers like EZ 95-5/106-3 and WCCW 1310 The Score, well, there you go.
*The fact that KLT and Rock 105 are now neck-and-neck in the FB ratings shows that it's time for Del Reynolds to realize that he fucked up by dissing Rock 105's fans by demoting them to one signal. True, there's *some* people who love EZ 95-5/106-3, but apparently, they're too far and in between. The fact that The Bear is now the lowest-rated rocker in northern Michigan, plus the fact that Bob Kevoian from Bob and Tom is now retired proves that he'd rather care about an audience that's close to non-existent vs. one that is. Bear in mind that format-wise, Rock 105 is the northern Michigan equivalent to Detroit's WRIF and WGRD here in Grand Rapids, two VERY successful stations. 
*The format tweak for The Fox by going from 60s-70s to 80s-90s has proven to be a crappy one. I've read The Fox's new ads in the Northern Express and all it shows is their fox mascot's head peaking over the Sand Dunes. To me, it's showing how fucking cheesy they are. No wonder why Bob FM is a better station format-wise. 
*1310 The Score has only gained six likes in two years. Sports loud and clear on 106.7 vs. noisy 1310. Do the math. 
*Last, but definitely not least, 101.9 continues to be a giant abortion in the face of northern Michigan radio, especially with the pipe bursting in their studio. As a fan of shows such as Bar Rescue, I wish somebody would come tell Col. Tex O'Hara (and yes, that was a Simpsons reference) how delusional he is. Then again, reportedly, he's become more absentee in the past few years and is allowing his children to run his empire. 

*Normally, I make my predictions for northern Michigan radio for 2016, but the only one I'll make is the one that I seem to be right on every year: nothing will change, at least drastically. The AM stations - save for WTCM-AM - will remain unsuccessful, 99.3 and 92.3 will be in forever limbo as long as the owner remains delusional but WTCM-FM, KHQ, Lite 96.3, et. al. will keep their listeners happy. As long as only two companies subscribe to Nielsen, listeners will continue to get nothing but crap locally. It makes me happy that I own a smartphone so I don't have to suffer through local radio. Hell, I'm proud that on my Christmas trip, the internet radio station I was listening to didn't fade out. Technology will make local radio their bitch unless they know what the vast majority wants. 

1-3) 474,650 WBFX (101.3 The Brew - Mainstream Rock)
2-1) 318,340 WHTS (105.3 Hot FM - CHR)
3-2) 262,548 WBCT (B93.7 - Country)
4-4) 78,568 WSNX (104.5 - CHR)
5-5 47,535 WGRD (97-9 GRD - Active Rock)
6-6) 32,815 WLHT (Channel 95-7 - Hot AC)
7-7) 26,877 WSRW (Star 105.7 - AC)
8-8) 12,152 WJQK (JQ99 - Christian CHR)
9-9) 8,781 WLAV (97 LAV - Classic Rock)
10-10) 7,751 WOOD (NewsRadio 1300/106.9 - News/Talk)
11-11) 7,311 WMAX (ESPN 96-1 - Sports)
12-12) 5,085 WBBL (107.3 The Ball - Sports)
13-13) 4,324 WFGR (98.7 - Classic Hits)
14-15) 2,711 WTRV (100.5 The River)
15-16) 1,309 WGLM (M106.3 - Classic Hits)
16-18) 1,155 WHTC (1450 Holland - Talk)
17-17)  921 WJRW (1340 - Talk)
18-23) 843 WTNR (94.5 Nash FM - Country)
19-19) 798 WYGR (GR94.9/1530 - Urban AC)
20-21) 723 WLAW (92.5 Nash Icon - Classic Country)
21-20) 722 WION (I1430 - Classic Hits)
22-22) 560 WPNW (96.5/1260 The Pledge - Conservative/Christian Talk)
23-27) 437 WGHN (92.1 - AC)
24-24) 429 WFUR (102.9/1570 - Christian)
25-25) 357 WTKG (1230 - Talk)
26-26) 342 WMPA (93.1 Country)
27-28) 192 WNWZ (1410 The Touch - Urban AC)

1) 373,413 WBFX
2) 93,457 WHTS
3) 64,912 WBCT
4) 15,426 WSNX
5) 13,152 WSRW
6) 4,659 WLHT
7) 2,409 WGRD
8) 2,299 WJQK
9) 1,454 WLAV
10)  873 WOOD
11)  624 WBBL
12)  553 WFGR
13) 501 WMAX
14) 429 WHTC
15) 413 WTNR
16) 338 WGLM
17) 216 WTRV
18) 210 WLAW
19) 205 WGHN
20) 198 WYGR
21) 189 WION
22)  78 WPNW
23)  67 WNWZ
24)  53 WJRW
25)  47 WFUR
26)  43 WTKG
27)  37 WMPA

My Thoughts...
*The fact that WBFX has over 400,000 likes on Facebook proves that whomever is operating their FB page is paying for likes. West Michigan only has maybe a million folks. I highly doubt if 474,000 people like a radio station that's mostly cyber-jocked and is simply a low-octane rip-off of WGRD. Hell, their morning show is the night jock at sister station DC 101 in Washington!
*I think WBFX, WHTS and The Bee all rigged their Facebook likes. Therefore, WSNX - I think - is the fastest-growing station FB-wise.
*WMFN is not on the list because they're no longer listed. Besides, they're moving to Chicago soon.
*Only 43 new likes for WTKG = who f'n cares about that station?
*WMPA could easily be west Michigan's deepest secret radio-wise

Last Year's Predictions:
*Huge will stay on 107.3 TRUE
*1230 will remain a throwaway talker TRUE
*WFUR will remain a geezer station TRUE
*98.7 will flip format FALSE
*WGRD will add more alternative crossover MEH
*John Balyo will be prison meat for another 69 years TRUE

2016 Predictions:
*WFUR will still be around
*"Huge" Bill Simonson will be canned
*Cumulus will make other huge changes in west Michigan radio
*WTKG will remain a throwaway talker
*John Balyo will remain a jailbird

1-1) 141,040 WKQI (Channel 9-5-5 - CHR)
2-13) 127,518 WGPR (Hot 107.5 - Urban)
3-2) 102,031 CIMX (89X - Alternative)
4-3) 99,616 WRIF (101 The Riff - Active Rock)
5-5) 92,342 WJLB (97.9 - Urban)
6-4) 91,189 WDZH (AMP 98.7 - CHR)  
7-6) 67,195 WXYT-FM (97.1 The Ticket - Sports)
8-8) 50,302 WCSX (94.7 - Classic Rock)
9-7) 49,063 WYCD (99.5 - Country)
10-10) 43,691 WNIC (100.3 - AC)
11-12) 37,385 WPZR (Praise 102.7 - Gospel)
12-9) 36,646 WDTW (106.7 The D - Classic Rock)
13-18) 35,800 CHYR (Mix 96.7 - Hot AC)
14-11) 30,668 WMXD (Mix 92.3 - Urban AC)
15-14) 20,759 WDVD (96.3 - Hot AC)
16-17) 17,643 CKLW (800 - Canadian News/Talk)
17-20) 16,842 WDMK (Kiss 105.9 - Urban AC)
18-15) 16,565 WJR (760 - News/Talk)
19-16) 15,956 WMUZ (103.5 - Christian)
20-19) 15,472 CIDR (93.9 The River - AAA)
21-21) 8,616 WOMC (104.3 - Classic Hits)
22-24) 8,482 WDRQ (93.1 Nash FM - Country)
23-23) 8,473 WMGC (105.1 Detroit Sports)
24-22) 8,379 WWJ (950 - News)
25-N)  4,582 WDFN (1130 The Fan - Sports)
26-27) 1,728 WDTK (1400 The Patriot - Conservative Talk)
27-25) 1,204 CKWW (580 - Oldies)
28-26) 1,185 WLQV (FaithTalk 1500)
29-28) 277 WRDT (560 The Word)

1) 102,650 WGPR
2) 23,457 CHYR
3) 13,624 WNIC
4) 12,041 WPZR
5) 10,622 WXYT-FM
6) 9,949 WCSX
7) 7,882 WDMK
8) 5,680 WYCD
9) 4,525 WRIF
10) 4,437 CIDR
11) 4,298 CKLW
12) 3,981 WJLB
13) 3.294 WMXD
14) 3,160 WDRQ
15) 3,041 CIMX
16) 3,037 WDTW
17) 1,473 WMGC
18) 1,194 WWJ
19) 1,102 WMUZ
20) 888 WOMC
21) 825 WDTK
22) 182 WLQV
23) 179 WRDT
24) 131 CKWW
25)   20 WJR
My Thoughts...
*Once again, I feel that at least one station in the market, namely Hot 107.5 WGPR is cheating with their Facebook likes. From what I've been told, that station is way more ghetto than WJLB. Sad.
*WKQI, WDZH and WDVD all LOST likes this year. Fake Facebook profiles, perhaps?
*93.9 The River had a bigger increase in likes vs. 89X. Surprised?
*I highly doubt 12,000+ people would like Praise 102.7 in one year. Do they even have 12,000 listeners?
*Not much love for WOMC, though their radio ratings are a different story.

Last Year's Predictions:
*Nash FM will survive one more year, TRUE
*96.3 will flip to a Hip-Hop Gold format, maybe even resurrecting the WHYT call letters FALSE
*93.9 The River will flip formats FALSE
*Drew Lane will resign from 105.1 TRUE
*Arthur P. will return to the Detroit airwaves via voicetracking FALSE

Next Year's Predictions: 
*Detroit Sports 105.1 will add more local talkers,
*96.3 will flip format,
*106.7 The D will flip format,
*Allison Martinek will resurface at another station
*89X will reformat

Wednesday, December 23, 2015


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Since 1999, we've handed out the award for the year's most-stupid, pathetic human being we'd like to call a Bee-otch. Yeah, that word's a gangsta term for "bitch", but, well, we have attitude.

How we determine the Bee-otch of the Year is simple: I pick the Bee-otch of the Day, and post it on our Blogspot site for all posterity. The most-read Bee-otch of the Day article determines the Bee-otch of the Week. The most-read Bee-otch of the Week in that month becomes Bee-otch of the Month, and now, it's time to choose the Bee-otch of the Year.

The most-read single article of the year was for the now-Grand Rapids Mayor Rosalynn Bliss. But, she's not the Bee-otch of the Year because her article didn't have enough hits that week. However, since I guess people wanted to read my opinion on that twat for helping to pass the city's unconstitutional strip club ordinance of 2006, the article did go somewhat viral. So, Ms. Bliss has been spared the Bee-otch of the Year, at least for this year.

Now, here's the list of Bee-otches of the Month, ranking from least-popular to most-popular, who will end up being this year's (dis)honorable Bee-otch of the Year. This is a top 11, since there was a Bee-otch of the Month that was awarded twice.

11) October: WZZM-13 Grand Rapids
The ABC affiliate angered viewers when sports anchor Jamal Spencer announced to his viewers during a newscast from Michigan Stadium that that Wolverines had beaten the Spartans during the all-too-important inner-state rivalry. But, it was the other way around. Whoops. The only things WZZM should be proud of include: 1) the fact that they're less annoying than GR's OTHER ABC affiliate, WOTV 4 Yentas and 2) they're in 11th place in terms of being the Bee-otch of the Year.

10) June: Lebron JamesThe NBA superstar might be one of the best in basketball, but charging $200 for a pair of his shoes made by a multi-billion-dollar corporation that has no factories in America? Oh, and the dude just signed a lifetime contract with Nike. Psh.

9) March: The FCCIn the third month, the government organization slammed CBS station WDBJ in Roanoke, VA with a proposed $325,000 fine because they accidentally showed a woman throttling a man's cock during the station's 6pm newscast. It happened during a news story about a porn star who joined a fire department. They showed a picture from her website, but the people editing the story didn't see the offending ad that was on the edge of the screen. The station has appealed the ruling, but they also had another difficult matter later in the year when one of their reporters and a cameraman were shot during a live newscast by a disgruntled ex-reporter.

8) January: Tommy Brann
The outspoken owner of Brann's Steakhouse here in Grand Rapids gained tremendous controversy when he put up on his electronic letterboard outside his restaurant "Michael Moore and Seth Rogan (sic) are not allowed in my place". The reason behind the ban was because of the two's attacks on the controversial film "American Sniper", which depicts Jeremy Kyle as a war hero. On Twitter, Moore called snipers "cowards" while Rogen compared the movie to the fake Nazi film "Nation's Pride" from "Inglorious Basterds". I hope the dude got more health code violations this year.

7) May: ASUSEarlier this year, I decided that it was high time to buy a new laptop and I got an ASUS since it was a steal at ABC Warehouse for $500. Problem was, the power unit shorted out not once, but TWICE! I ended up having to ship it out to California both times to get it fixed. Good thing I kept my old laptop (the Toshiba that I'm typing this page with) since my ASUS not only had its fair share of problems, but also is a bitch to type on. Only a year and change until the warranty expires....

6) February: Trinity Broadcasting NetworkThe controversial religious broadcaster was slapped with a huge lawsuit by Brittany Koper, the granddaughter of their founders, Paul and Jan Crouch. She claimed that her uncle, Matthew Crouch was "tapping a gun" with her in the room, asking her what would happen if the truth came out regarding the network's troubles. Koper has claimed for years that the network had been hiding $100 million in assets, including houses for the Crouches, plus the fact that the network had been hiding the rape of her then-13-year-old sister many years ago. The lawsuits are ongoing.

5) September and November: "Huge" Bill SimonsonThe only person to be awarded BOTM TWICE, Huge does have the ego to boot. Apparently, the failing radio sports-talker has asked his co-workers to stop following parody sites like @notbillsimonson because they hurt his huge ego. But the good news is that we might not be hearing too much from him anymore because there's rumors swirling at WBBL's parent, Cumulus that Simonson is indeed on the chopping block. Since Cumulus is damn near a penny stock, it makes a lot of (ahem) cents. Then again, WBBL just lost the Tigers and Red Wings to iHeartMedia and ESPN 96.1, so they're as useless as tits on a bull.

4) July: CumulusIf there's any abhorrent radio group out there today, it's Cumulus. They think that country would work in New York City, so they created the Nash format, which, mind you, is tanking. Their news/talk stations are also failing as well, especially since recently, a small rock station from Kenosha, WI barely beat 50KW WLS in the ratings. The company keeps investing in lame talent such as Michael Grey and the aforementioned Huge, but in July, the company let go Allison Martinek from 96.3 WDVD in Detroit despite good ratings. Allison had been at 96.3 since 1995 when the station was alternative "Planet 96.3". Sadly, the station has since morphed into a bland soccer mom station and in recent times, the ratings have suffered. But since Cumulus is almost a penny stock these days, well, it's no wonder.

3) December: The Republican PartyFor years, the Repukes have been using their financial resources from the NRA to fight tough gun laws and it has showed. This year, we've had a young woman shot to death on TV, a group of African American churchgoers mauled down by a white supremacist, moviegoers in two different cinemas facing a gunman, people at a Planned Parenthood clinic shot over "dead baby parts" and so on. Of course, many of those gun nuts simply don't like having a liberal black man running our country. So, they vote for these right-winged nutjobs who'll do anything for the Second Amendment. Thanks to the GOP, 2016 could be as deadly - or worse - than 2015.

2) April: Brian Klawiter

Earlier this year, Indiana passed a law that allowed businesses to discriminate against homosexuals. So, Brian Klawiter, the owner of DieselTec, a Grandville, MI-based auto shop that specializes on diesel vehicles, announced that his shop would not service gay individuals' vehicles. He claimed that it violated his religious rights. Since making his hate-filled bullshit, Klawiter then organized a rally at a local high school that promoted his blatant idea of "family values", which met with protests, even from ultraconservative area churches. He's still in business, sadly, and even ran a promotion where you get a 20% discount if you brought in your gun. Thank God I don't own a monster truck.


Folks, I don't know why Obama got the Bee-otch of the Year. He wasn't even Bee-otch of the Day at all, EVER! He's helped the economy, helped to lower gas prices, created jobs and so on. I honestly can't fathom how...

...What's that? OK.

Folks, I have to apologize. I will take responsibility for this. I chose this guy to tell me the Bee-otch of the Year:
Ultimately, Mr. Harvey has been fired from and its subsidiaries. However, we gave him a free trip to a trusted optometrist.

And now, without further adieu...

The first time Cindy Gamrat entered the spotlight was in August when the then-state representative from Plainwell announced legislation that would defund Planned Parenthood after a heavily-edited video erupted on social media. However, just a few days later (and that's the article that got the two crowned Bee-otches of the Month), it was announced that the pro-life Republican had an affair with a fellow Republican state rep, Lapeer's Todd Courser. The two reps merged offices and used their employees to attempt to hide the affair by creating a chain e-mail claiming that Courser had sex with a male prostitute at a Lansing nightclub. However, after they were fired, the aides sued and the two state reps became accused of using public monies to support their tryst. As a result, Gamrat was expelled from the state house while Courser resigned. However, both ran again for their now-empty seats, but lost their primaries to huge margins.

The lesson we learned from Coursrat or Gamser if you prefer is that there's simply a lot of "family values" folks who end up lacking them. It's a shame, since Gamrat kisses her three kids with the same mouth that sucked on Courser's pee-pee. The only good out of all this is that her kids are homeschooled, so they won't get teased because mommy's a slut.

I hope we never get to hear from these Tea Party assholes ever again. They need to stay out of the spotlight where they don't belong.

Except, of course, when they're sitting on their thrones, wearing their new Bee-otch of the Year crowns. Congrats, you lovebirds, you!

Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

12.17.15 Bee-otches of the Day: terrestrial radio

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on



Name: terrestrial radio
Age: 95
Occupation: alleged entertainers and informers of the general publicLast Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: failing
It was ten years ago yesterday that Howard Stern kissed terrestrial radio goodbye.

He threw a party in New York complete with Robin, Fred, Baba Booey, Artie and other members of the show throughout the years. He ended up moving his well-oiled mach-ine to Sirius on 1-9-06 and never looked back.

Since Howard left traditional radio, some wonder, how well is it doing? Well, the answer ain't that great.

Here in Grand Rapids, we have three major radio groups running most of the stations. However, two of the three companies' stock prices are less than $2: iHeartMedia/Clear Channel ($1.10) and Cumulus (a quarter). Townsquare is doing a little better with $11.50 per share.

As for Howard's old company, CBS, they're doing OK at $47.50. Then again, unlike most other radio companies, they also do TV and other entertainment entities, so no harm done as far as we know.

But what about Cumulus? A quarter per share is nothing short but embarrassing. Then again, this was the old ABC Radio Network.

True, CBS effed up when they switched many of their O&O Stern affiliates - successful or not - to the ill-fated Free FM. All Stern clones all the time without the pesky subscription fees. Of course, Free FM tanked and many of their former stations ended up flipping to sports. Some of those stations - such as Detroit's 97.1 The Ticket - are quite successful.

But let's face it: terrestrial radio sucks, especially in the morning. The only morning show that has managed to take some of his listeners that didn't make the switch to satellite is Free Beer and Hot Wings. After all, look at WGRD Grand Rapids. They're a perennial top five fave in town. Now, I wouldn't call FB&HW Stern clones, but then again, here in their home state of Michigan, they've still lost two affiliates. Then again also, both stations were sister stations to Bob and Tom affiliates.

But as for B&T, let's face it: Bob Kevoian, half of the show as-is is retiring at years' end. What they will be doing after the new year begins is anybody's guess. Then again, B&T is simply lame. They were funnier pre-Janet Jackson nipslip, but the only people who tend to be major B&T fans are yokels and those who really don't have much choice on the radio, i.e. people in rural areas.

So the question is, why are Cumulus and IHM failing? Simple: bad programming decisions. Remember, it was Cumulus that banned the Dixie Chicks from their stations because of Natalie Maines' anti-Bush speech over a decade ago. Now, the company is banking on the stupid Nash format, which hasn't been successful at all. Look at 94.7 in New York. They've been around for a few years and they haven't cracked a two share. But the biggest question is, WHERE'S THE ROCK?

Cumulus seems to not have a lot of good rock stations, which might help to explain their quarter stock price. Personally, if 94.7 was some type of kick-ass rock format, they'd be OVER a two share by now and the station could have some great revenue. But, no. Instead, they choose to make boneheaded mistakes made by the now-downgraded Dickey Brothers.

Something to think about is that since I started this very website 16 years ago, the stations in my old homeland of northern Michigan have changed very little in terms of management. One shocker came in 1998 when Del Reynolds sold his stations to a Chicago firm, Calibre Communications for $7 million. Calibre became Northern Star and made some bad decisions, such as investing in stations in the upper peninsula. Del bought back his stations a few years ago for around $1.7 million.

And don't get me started on that Texan and how he fucked up a certain 100,000-watt monster and shut down several stations in Michigan's coastline.

The point is, radio hasn't gotten a whole lot better since Howard left. Instead, there's groups that are struggling and the only thing worth saving them might be a merger. Personally, I think if radio realized that they've done a wonderful job abandoning their audience, well, there you go. If radio groups listened to the fans instead of consultants, they could be worth saving. Otherwise, they might see the same fate as those Texan-owned stations up north.

They'll be as empty as the Artie/Jackie chair.
Got a Bee-otch to nominate? E-mail us @ All suggestions (except for me) are welcome!

Bee-otch of the Day Archives can be seen on!

Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!


Wednesday, December 16, 2015

12.16.15 Hero of the Day: Howard Stern

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on




Name: Howard Stern
Age: 61
Occupation: King of All Media
Last Seen: New York
Awarded For: renewing
When I started this very website 16 years ago, it was devoted to convincing northern Michigan radio and TV stations to bring Howard Stern up north.

Instead, I got, well, nothing. I got a letter from one radio station employee who told me that Traverse City-Petoskey just isn't the right market for Howard and that there's simply no ad dollars. Since then, I've moved to Grand Rapids and radio-wise, virtually all the radio station owners from 16 years ago - save for one who ran a whole bunch of stations into the ground whose name you can guess - are still there. There's even a local Howard Stern wannabe, Steve "Omelette" Normandin who has his own radio show on WKLT, a station that SHOULD have considered Stern when Bob and Tom were royally kicking their asses on The Bear. He has his own Wack Pack called "The Misfits" and does a wonderful job exploiting the homeless.

Thankfully on January 9th, 2006, Traverse City, Atlanta, Salt Lake City and other major Sternless cities were now Sternless no more. Howard moved his radio show to Sirius and life was good. Five years later, he re-signed but knocked his work schedule down to three days. Plus, some - like myself - started feeling that the show was starting to get a little more PC *COUGHMARCITURKCOUGH* I'll even admit, I dropped Sirius a few years ago because of the show's direction, plus the fact that I was broke off my ass. I got into some serious money problems in the early 2010s thanks to a car accident and ten years of no raises from a greedy, alcoholic Hollander boss. Plus, there were several websites devoted to streaming the show, albeit illegally.

For the past few weeks, many had wondered if Howard was going to retire or not. He's 61, wealthy and happily married to a woman nearly 20 years his junior. On Monday's show, he even admitted that "it's up to Don Buchwald", his agent to sort out the deets. Well, fear no more, since Howard is now going to stay with the Dogstar for the next five years.

He made it official on Tuesday's show that not only will he remain with the satcaster til he's 67, but he'll develop an app that would allow his fans to listen to 30 years' worth of material and even stream the video portion of the show online.

No word if that means that he'll only work Monday and Tuesday for an hour per day.

With this news, I *might* consider re-hooking with Sirius. Because there's not many souls out there who are willing to stream the show (and many of the YouTube feeds have the show pitched way too slow) and the fact that I'm doing *slightly* better financially thanks to my new boss, I might bring Sirius back around tax time. I'll probably just get the internet version since I want the On Demand features.

Congrats, Howard, and a Baba Booey to Y'all.
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Tuesday, December 15, 2015

12.15.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 69
Occupation: billionaire
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: coming to town
Oh, you better pout,
and you better cry.
You better watch out
'cuz I'm telling you why:

Donald Trump is coming to town.

That's right, Chuckaroos! The asshole presidential candidate is coming to the DeltaPlex in Grand Rapids next Monday, December 21. The event is free, but parking at the venue will be $5.

And what a great time, too, since there was an Indian party store clerk shot by a presumably white male who claims that he was out to kill Muslims.

Trump has made several trips to Michigan during his presidential run, including a recent trip to Birch Run, outside of Flint.

With his comments about Mexicans and Muslims, Trump will be happy to know that this area has both. I would imagine a protest outside of the arena. I do wonder if the media would cover it, given that they seem to want Trump to win the 2016 elections as-is. A 2016 Trump victory equates to more money for them since they support him. Right now, if the election were held today, Hillary Clinton could beat Trump. However, since the media isn't spending a whole lot of attention on Bernie Sanders, it's a shame that there's hardly a chance in hell he would win.

One thing that pisses me off about Grand Rapids is the fact that this town seems to be more open towards Republicans than Democrats. When was the last time Obama was in town? I am kinda shocked that Trump is not appearing at Van Andel Arena or Devos Hall, given Amway's allegiance towards the Republicans.

I'd love to have Bernie come to town. If he did, I would hope he'd get full media coverage. To me, he's the best choice since Hillary tends to be too centralist or right on some issues. It's time for a real progressive in the White House.

But if it's Hillary, oh, well.

In all, I hope there's enough people to protest Trump's Grand Rapids appearance. This asshole is the modern equal to Hitler and if he shoos all the non-whites out of America, he might as well rip up the Constitution, too. We cannot afford another wealthy asshole to run this country. Look at where we are now: low gas prices, better economy and more jobs. Thanks, Obama!

But if we elect Trump, bye-bye!
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Monday, December 14, 2015

12.14.15 Bee-otch of the Day: people who shop big box stores

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Names: various
Ages: various
Occupations: various
Last Seen: various
Bee-otched For: still supporting Walmart and other big box stores
Every time I see those fucking annoying Walmart commercials with the sellout known as Craig Robinson playing a piano, I want to turn that keyboard sideways, shine it up nicely and shove it straight up his candy ass and other things The Rock does.

Last week, I saw a YouTube video that shows why people need to stop shopping at big box stores and other places that treat their workers like numbers. It was a woman from Pueblo, CO who had shopped at Walmart and her cashier was having major issues. His cash register wasn't scanning right and when the customer ahead of her ran her card into the POS system, it kept declining it. The customer was pissed at the cashier, claiming that he was stupid, etc., etc., so this woman told the other woman to piss off. If she didn't like his service, she should have gone to another checkout. The woman walked away and the cashier did something most cashiers don't do: he tearfully hugged the woman for standing up to her. He then revealed that his mother had committed suicide that morning, but he still had to work because he couldn't afford to take the day off.

You know, it's something when a cashier at Wally World can't take the day off to mourn, but one of the members of the Walton clan that controls the chain gets to relax in her $25 million Manhattan penthouse. If one of her family members were to die, she could take the year off to mourn while her little servant in Pueblo cannot just take one day off. But since most Walmart workers are technically part-timers anyway, they don't traditionally qualify for benefits or even vacations.

Yesterday morning at church, I heard another horror story when one of my fellow parishioners told the congregation during "joys and concern time" that her husband is on the verge of a nervous breakdown because he was forced to, kicking and screaming, a management position at a place she wouldn't mention in front of the church. So, after service was over, I asked her and she told me that the place where he worked at was none other than Meijer. She told me that they've really gotten bad over the past 15 years and I don't blame her. They treat their employees like shit and people simply want out.  She even told me that they now have offices in Hong Kong since a lot of their crap is made over there.

Sadly, she's right. Since Fred Meijer kicked the bucket, the chain that started in his daddy's barber shop 81 years ago has gone straight to pot thanks to his kids. Fred was a wealthy man,
but he lived in modest housing and drove older cars. Since he died, his sons have worked on simply converting Meijer into a Walmart clone, taking over more towns and shutting their competition out of business. Where I live in Grand Rapids, Meijer, Walmart, Spartan (Family Fare and D&W) and the German Albrecht Brothers (Aldi and Trader Joe's) pretty much run my end of town. However, there's also Horrock's, which I should go more often. Where I grew up in Torch Lake, MI, the nearest grocery stores to me were the Village Market in Elk Rapids and Eastport Market in Eastport. Both stores are family-owned. Since we worked and went to school in Elk Rapids, we shopped at Village Market regularly. Of course, Meijer just built a store in nearby Acme and they're probably praying and hoping that both Village Markets in Elk Rapids, Rapid City/Alden plus the Tom's in Acme would all meet their untimely demise. When Tom's in Acme opened in 1983, it only hurt the Village Market a little. But since people in Elk Rapids are committed to shopping at their locally-owned store, I don't think they're going anywhere. True, they publish ads for the owner's gun shop in the back of their circulars, but I'd rather shop at a store owned by a man worth a few million bucks over a family worth BILLIONS.

Look, I know that people think that they're saving money by shopping big boxers like Meijer and Walmart, but in reality, these companies are run by spoiled assholes living off of Daddy's money. They exploit their workers and create a system where they're practically a hair above slavery. But let's remember: want to know what's causing them to be successful? Look in the mirror. Remember, if you give Walmart $100 per week, that's $100 less that's going to a local grocer who cares and loves his community. It's less money for schools and even other jobs.

Let's remember this fact: in the early 20th century, The Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Co. (A&P) had 16,000 stores. They were in big cities and even towns that had less than 1,000 people. But get this: the day before Thanksgiving, they closed their last supermarket after declaring bankruptcy for the second time in five years. Why did A&P collapse? Part of it was from smaller stores that joined co-ops like IGA and here in Michigan, Spartan Stores that allowed them to better compete with big chains like A&P. Most A&Ps were smaller stores, but the local stores beat them at their game by building bigger, cleaner and better stores that made A&P too hoidy-toidy.

True, I highly doubt if either Tom's or Village Market will go ahead and build 150,000-square feet megastores to kill Meijer, but let's face it: there's a plus to shopping at a smaller store vs. a superstore. The prices are comparable and you're in and out in a hurry. In the case of Village Market, they've had people who have worked there long before the Young family bought it in 1974 when it was Don's Supermarket. So, it shows how much they care about their employees.

If people just simply supported local stores, then we'll have more jobs. Cheaper isn't always better. Trust me, I've bought Old Navy jeans made in Vietnam that has zippers that don't stay up and started to rip after only six months! My next jeans will probably be Levi's.

It's too bad that I can't think of a local store off the top of my head that sells them.
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Thursday, December 10, 2015

12.10.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Donald Trump

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Name: Donald Trump
Age: 69
Occupation: president wannabe
Last Seen: ??
Bee-otched For: turning into Hitler

The more I look at the Republican clown car, the more I try to avoid it.

With the media spending way more time talking about how stupid Trump, Carson, Fionia and the rest are, they don't seem to focus enough on the Democrats and their focus on fixing America.

But at least we still have Tom Brokaw.

The former NBC Nightly News anchor - who battled and won against cancer last year - ran a stirring piece on his old show Tuesday night about how Donald Trump's proposal to stop Muslims from migrating to the US is simply comparing him to the likes of Hitler and Joe McCarthy. Hitler wanted to purge the Jews and look at what happened to Germany. McCarthy's career went up in flames because he fought a losing battle against communism. Brokaw even ended his story standing in a cold, dark Arlington National Cemetery talking about a Muslim soldier who died in Iraq in 2007 at 20 years old.

You see, Trump's strategy is to attract the lowest-common denominator, ie angry white people who hate those who are not like them. He's blasted the Mexicans and now he's telling the world that because of California, it's time to send the Muslims back or else it's 9/11 all over again.

Yes, the attackers on that fateful day were Muslim. So? The Columbine shooters were white. The people who attacked Pearl Harbor were Japanese. The young man who shot up the black church in South Carolina was white. The man who killed a young white female TV reporter while she was on the air was black. The man who shot up the Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs was white. And so on.

Terrorism doesn't know race nor religion. Getting rid of one creed from this great nation founded on being different is simply un-American. For an asshole like Trump - who's married to a woman from Yugoslavia, mind you - he's simply proving that he's going against the ideals of our Founding Fathers. Then again, let's remember that America's ancestry is made up of three types of people: 1) the Native Americans, 2) the people who immigrated here and 3) the Africans who were imported here wearing chains. As a matter of fact, Trump's grandfather was a German immigrant.

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Wednesday, December 9, 2015

12.9.15 Bee-otch of the Day: Jerry Falwell, Jr.

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Name: Jerry Falwell, Jr.
Age: 53
Occupation: president, Liberty University
Last Seen: Lynchburg, VA
Bee-otched For: being gun crazy

I'd never thought I would ever say this, but....

I've been going to church for the past seven months.

But don't worry. I'm not going to turn into some kooky-ass Jebus freak who hates gays, wants to end abortion and wants to destroy Muslims. As a matter of fact, I'm quite the opposite and so is my church, which is indeed Christian. As a matter of fact, my pastor just happens to be a board member of Planned Parenthood.

Like many churches, we have a weekly session during service where we discuss our joys and concerns. Last Sunday, I asked to pray for the victims of the shooting disaster in San Bernadino. Usually, I like to ask for prayers for whenever there's a shooting disaster or other concern needed in our world.

Well, after I talked about the shootings, a middle-aged man across the aisle stood up and was trying to hold back tears. He was a retired 35-year Army vet and served in Vietnam. He told the congregation that he was sickened about the bigotry that our country was now standing for and the militarization of Christianity, such as when we attacked Iraq. He touched on the fact that Mike Huckabee even named his book "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy". But then, he talked about Jerry Falwell, Jr. telling his 14,000 students at Liberty University to go out and buy guns. It's a shame when somebody uses God to promote right-winged BS, and yet it was he who wrote on a slab of stone for Moses to proclaim on Mt. Sinai "Thou Shalt Not Kill".

But yes, it's true. The son of the late - but not great - Jerry Falwell actually told the students of the college his Dad started in 1971 to carry guns. He also stated that he disagrees with the president in regards to gun control. In a speech from last week, Junior - who looked and acted like he was drunk - said that if the victims in California had concealed carry permits, then they could "end those Muslims before they went out killing."

Wow. Another Jebus freak wannabe who thinks that he's going to Heaven because he hates Muslims. Gee, when did he become God? When did it become OK to judge others just because they were burkas? True, the savages on 9/11 were Muslim, but guess what? The shooter at the Planned Parenthood was a Christian! Terrorism doesn't know race or religion.

I think the best answer to stop the shootings is to tell the NRA to simply fuck off. As long as we have powerful, pro-gun politicians who want more guns into society, well, that's what we're gonna get. I hope that as long as we vote Democrat, we will keep fending off the gun violence ravaging this country. It's time to create a sensible solution without infringing on the 2nd Amendment.

As for Little Jerry, remember, his father was a homophobic asshole who created the Moral Majority, an organization that in the 70s and 80s trumped their false religious values onto most of America. They also played a role in Reagan getting elected and look at what that brought us: the wealthy getting more wealthy and the middle class becoming close to nonexistent. The fact that they also fought a fake war on porn made them look even more dumb. In their mind, looking at pussy is a one-way ticket to H-E-double-hockey sticks. But hey! Guns are OK! Good thing Hustler published that parody with Falwell talking about his "first time" to Dewar's.

Remember: the statement "the best way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" doesn't work. 
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Monday, December 7, 2015

12.7.15 Bee-otch of the Day: the media

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Name: the media
Age: ageless
Occupation: entertainers and informers of the general public
Last Seen: everywhere 
Bee-otched For: pretending that Scott Weiland didn't exist

April 8, 1994 was a day I'll never forget.

My father and I had just gotten back from the movies and I was in my bedroom, minding my business. Then, he told me to come to the living room. I did, and the NBC Nightly News was doing a news story on what it looked like the legendary grunge band Nirvana. The story ended with Tom Brokaw doing the usual "that's the NBC Nightly News, I'm Tom Brokaw, I'll see you Monday night". I turned to Dad and he told me, "he's dead. Blew his brains out."

I was stunned - but not too stunned - that the man who helped to change modern music in the early 1990s was gone. Years of drug abuse and a hectic life with Courtney Love took its toll on young 27-year-old Kurt. But for me, I didn't learn about his passing from MTV or the internet. I learned it from my father, who just happened to be watching the over-the-air NBC Nightly News.

True, there were many other bands breaking out around that period, including Stone Temple Pilots and its big-voiced lead singer Scott Weiland. I remembered hearing "Plush" on the radio in 1993, thinking that it would become an important rock anthem at the time, and it did.

Over the years, STP recorded five albums with Weiland and many of their singles became radio standards such as "Vasoline", "Interstate Love Song", "Dead and Bloated" and "Creep". However, problems with drugs caused Weiland to be ostracized from the band, causing STP to break up several times. Of course, he formed another band, Velvet Revolver with former Guns 'N Roses members, which provided several hits such as "Slither" and "Fall to Pieces"(seen above). In recent years, Weiland was touring with a new band, The Wildabouts and people had been worried about Weiland's inner psyche because of, well, moments like these.

On Thursday night, Weiland was found on his tour bus in Bloomington, MN in full cardiac arrest and hours later, he passed away at the age of 48. Cocaine was found on the premises and his guitarist was soon arrested for being in possession. Although Weiland claimed that he hadn't done drugs in 13 years, it will take a toxicologist to determine if that was true or not.

Friday morning, I was watching Daybreak on WOOD-TV here in Grand Rapids. They made no mention on Weiland's death. I watched the NBC Nightly News later that night. It was wall-to-wall coverage of the shootings in California with no mention of other news. I watched Fox 17's afternoon news. Nothing.

So I wonder, how could a man whose music sold millions of copies and produced several hits's death not get a mention on the news? Hell, I learned about Weiland's death on Facebook. How could the fact that Kim Kardashian gave birth to ANOTHER kid made the news and not the death of a man who unlike Mrs. West actually did something in his life?

True, Scott Weiland was an asshole for being a junkie, but still, he did more in his 48 years than most people would do in their lives. I hope and pray for his family, friends and bandmates. Shame on the mainstream media for not touching on his passing. I don't want to hear the excuse "rock is dead" or "well, there's no real rock stations in New York" bullshit, either. Hell, I wonder if the California shootings didn't happen that his passing would still make the news.

But what do you expect from the medium that's controlled by the Koch Brothers?
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