Thursday, October 28, 2010

10.28.10 Bee-otch of the Day: Rick Snyder

Name: Rick Snyder
Age: 52
Occupation: turd
Last Seen: Ann Arbor, MI
Bee-otched For: wanting to sell the Mighty Mac

For 53 years, Michigan's Mackinac Bridge has been a symbol of strength and durability, connecting the state's two peninsulas together. Prior to the bridge's erection, people would have to line up to take a ferry just to go from St. Ignace to Mackinaw City and vice versa.
But, Republican politics may make things harder for Michiganders to seek their pleasant peninsulas.
On Tuesday, Democratic gubernatorial candidate Virg Bernero visited St. Ignace - pop. 2,700 - for a "Save the Bridge" rally. In an interview with Detroit radio station WWJ, Republican candidate Rick Snyder said that he would be considering selling the five-mile bridge to a private interest to earn short-term cash for the financially-strapped state. The ironic thing is that Snyder has an image of the bridge in one of his many ads current running on Michigan TV while attacking Bernero for "never creating a job".

Bernero attacked Snyder by stating that selling the bridge to somebody else could mean higher toll rates and out-of-state workers running it. It could also mean a name change, like, in his words, the Bridge or the McDonald's Mighty Mac Bridge. Bernero said later on, "It's funny to think about, but unfortunately Mr. Snyder is dead serious. It makes you wonder what other state treasures he might sell off."

Bernero continued, "I strongly disagree with Mr. Snyder on this. I will not consider selling off the Mackinac Bridge for one second," said Bernero. "The Mackinac Bridge is one of our state's most cherished symbols. This would be like selling out a piece of who we are as Michiganders. We need to stop looking for quick fixes to our budget problems. It's time to cut government and make it more efficient. That's what I've done to balance the budget without raising taxes every single year I've been mayor."

Us Stern fans know about outsourcing state entities all too well. Case in point, Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. The former Stern show wack packer was sent to jail for child abduction, but died after the jail he was sent to didn't give him the proper medication for his cystic fibrosis. His jail in Delaware County, PA was privatized and the company that owns it had a history of improper treatment of criminals. Same with a similar privately-owned jail, the PA Child Care detention center in Pittston Twp, which paid judges to throw teens into their jail in 2008. Michael Moore documented the controversy in his 2009 film Capitalism: A Love Story.

Point is, when the government sells off their entities, watch out. Hell, look at healthcare. In other countries, it's run by the government and everybody benefits. Here, the only people who benefit from healthcare are the billionaire CEOs that run the companies that are supposed to provide it to the people. Doctor's visit? Feh. No biggie. Cancer? Now, you're asking for trouble.

Look, Michigan. If you elect this idiot as our next governor, you can kiss it goodbye. Rick Snyder is just another wealthy CEO who's going to run this state only in his interest and nobody else's. Jobs ARE coming to Michigan, just wait and see. Jobs may come too under Snyder, but ones that will only cause people to only squeak by under his aegis.

Thanks, but I want a tough man who's focused and will turn Michigan around, not a man who will take the money and run. Michigan's governor's seat is not for nerds.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

10.27.10 Bee-otch of the Day: Christine O'Donnell (for having some help from the big guy)

Name: Christine O'Donnell
Age: 41
Occupation: Christian witch
Last Seen: Wilmington, DE
Bee-otched For: asking for help from a higher power


Right now, Christine O'Donnell is getting her ass kicked in the polls by Democrat Chris Coons.
She and Coons are trying to get Vice President Joe Biden's former senate chair in Delaware. Thanks to the fact that in the 1990's she was an advocate against masturbation, plus the fact that she revealed on Politically Incorrect that she once practiced witchcraft, people just don't want her to be a US senator.

The distance between her and Coons in the polls is eleven percentage points, 51 to 40%.

But according to O'Donnell, she has a little friend named Jesus and a rich billionaire from Virginia named Pat Robertson.

In an interview with Robertson's Christian Broadcast Network, O'Donnell claims that whenever people hold prayer circles for her, her poll numbers improve slightly.

"The day that we saw a spike in the polls was a day that some people had a prayer meeting for me that morning for this campaign," she added. "So I believe that prayer plays a direct role in this campaign."

But like I said, O'Donnell's campaign is DOA and God's nowhere to be found. O'Donnell's another bitch who thinks that her shit don't stink. Everytime she cries "I'm not a witch", her credibility falls by a smidgen.

Honestly, I think that the people of Delaware have spoken. They want a good Democrat with no skeletons in his closet to be senator, not a cunt who's against masturbation, one of the most-healthiest activities known to man (or woman), and SURPRISE! There's no direct verse in the Bible that prohibits it.

Maybe if she ever masturbates, shit will come out of her twat. After all, she's full of it.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

10.26.10 Bee-otch of the Day: Traverse City Record-Eagle

Name: Traverse City Record-Eagle
Age: 152
Occupation: newspaper
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: going in the wrong direction


Well, they had a good run.
Throughout the 2000's, my old hometown newspaper, the Traverse City Record-Eagle had endorsed Democrats for office. They endorsed Jennifer Granholm, John Kerry and Barack Obama. Even the area's most-famous resident, Michael Moore, praised the paper for its journalism in an ad that ran as part of their 150th anniversary two years ago.

But now, the Grand Traverse area's paper of record is endorsing a gubernatorial candidate that Moore would hate with a passion: Republican Rick Snyder.

In a statement published last Sunday, the paper endorsed Snyder, claiming that his opponent, Democrat Virg Bernero's ideas are "mired in the past". The paper also applauds Synder for his lack of experience in government and the fact that he was a businessman before his tossed his hat into the ring.

Yes, a businessman. Who made thousands of hard-working Americans lose their jobs. 

Remember, Snyder was the ex-CEO of Gateway Computer, one of the largest computer makers in the country. Throughout the 2000's, Gateway laid off thousands of workers until Snyder sold the company off to Taiwanese computer giant Acer in 2007. It also should be noted that Snyder's budget is 10 times bigger than that of Bernero's and in several TV markets here in the state, his first campaign ad aired during the Super Bowl.

Yep, Snyder's BUYING the election.

The R-E article also blasts both parties in the Michigan government, claiming that their bickering has killed this state. Tragically, they're right. Michigan's dead last in job creation in the whole country. Just look at Detroit. 50 years ago, it was the 5th-biggest city in America. Now, they're 11th. The city has lost over a million people during this time. Why? Simple: right-winged Reaganomics that meant higher taxes for the middle class and busting the unions that protected jobs.

Now, people like Snyder want to come in, and yes, create jobs, but ones that won't pay the mortgage or your kid's college education. Eliminating the business tax? Rough translation: giving the wealthy another tax cut. Sorry, but we need to quit it with this "right to work" BS that allows the wealthy more money while the middle cla-er, working poor is lucky to get a 50 cent raise when hell freezes over.

Look, there's a reason why I don't live in the Traverse City area anymore: THERE'S NO REAL JOBS FOR 20-SOMETHINGS. Hell, I have a 24 year old stepbrother who has two kids of his own and the only job he can get is as a bellhop at Grand Traverse Resort. My parents moved up there in their 20s and they only got marginal jobs throughout their time living there. The point is, you go up there and the only people who live a decent life are seniors and the well-to-do. Want a middle class job? Well, for the most part, FUCK YOU. For that, there's Detroit, Ann Arbor, Grand Rapids and any town south of Mt. Pleasant.

Yeah, I applaud the Michael Moores and the Indian tribes that own the casinos, but that's not enough. Tragically, I doubt if Rick Snyder will make northern Michigan, or ANY of Michigan better than what it is now. What works in Grand Rapids won't work in Detroit and vice versa. Same goes for Ann Arbor and Marquette and so on. This mentality has tragically made Michigan what it is.

In all, I think the Record-Eagle should have reconsidered their decision. Yeah, Virg might be another Granholm, but do we need another Engler? I think not. Remember, Michigan's development in the 1990's and early 2000's is because of Clinton, not Engler.

Too bad we don't have the Rent is Too Damn High guy running for governor in this state.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Monday, October 25, 2010

10.25.10 Hero of the Day: Bob Guccione

Name: Bob Guccione
Age: deceased
Occupation: publisher, Penthouse Magazine
Last Seen: dead
Awarded For: knowing what Playboy had been missing

In 1940, Warner Bros. animators decided to morph two of test characters into what we now know as Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny.
In the 70 years we've gotten to know the two, poor 'ol Elmer couldn't get his hands on that wascilly widdle wabbit. However, a child of 10 in 1940 would eventually get his hands on a wabbit of his own, but he let it get away.

The little rabbit was the Playboy bunny. The man's name was Robert Charles Joseph Edward Sabatini Guccione.

It was in 1940 that Bob was contemplating becoming a priest, but changed his mind. Instead, he moved to England, married, had two sons and ran some laundromats while supporting his art career. But it was in 1965 that he made one of the boldest moves of his life: creating Penthouse Magazine while living in England.
The reason why Guccione created Penty H was simple: he felt that Playboy was too conservative in regards to content. He felt that Hugh Hefner's concoction was too high-brow article-wise. But one of the real reasons he felt that Playboy was too boring was due to Hef's policy regarding the pictures.

From its 1953 beginning-on, Playboy strictly prohibited any images of pubic regions published in the magazine. Hefner felt that it would cheapen the magazine's image, plus the fact that he wanted his models to be "the girls next door". In the 50's and most of the 60's, other magazines would do the same as evidenced in the 1965 anti-porn propaganda film Perversion For Profit. Many felt that vajayjay equaled pornography.
But it was Guccione who basically told America to lighten up. Almost since its 1965 beginning, Penthouse had bush in every issue. But in 1969, Guccione wanted to bring the magazine to America and succeeded.
Hef, on the other hand knew that for the first time in his magazine's history, he had major competition. Pubes had been in Playboy before, albeit mostly in an obstructed fashion. So in 1969, smack dab in the middle of the Civil Rights era, he hit two birds in one stone. The first woman to show her pubic region in the magazine in full went to African American actress Paula Kelly, one of the stars of the Broadway musical Hair. However, it wasn't until the early 70's that Playboy showed bush in every magazine.

Both magazines fought for years and years and one showed more bush than the other, mainly Penthouse. But the line was finally drawn in 1974 when Hustler came around, open legs and all. Penthouse tended to be middle of the road between the two other magazines, remaining a softcore magazine while Playboy remained a 'classy' magazine and Hustler went all out.

In terms of sales, the two mags were neck and neck in the 70's and 80's. Sometimes, Penthouse won against Playboy and sometimes it didn't. But Bob didn't care. He was rich, living in a 22,000 square foot mansion in Manhattan and lived a sedate life, even in the sexually all-out 70's. He did have his parties, but he had his limits. He even had bodyguards throw out a DJ for jumping in a pool naked.

In the early 1980's, Guccione was one of the richest men on the planet with a fortune of $400 million.
Arguably, Penthouse's most-famous issue came in 1984 when the magazine got ahold of nude photos of Miss America Vanessa Williams, the first black America to hold that title. She was forced to give up that crown, but ended up with a successful career in show biz. That same magazine also had for its Pet of the Month a young, 15-year-old Traci Lords.

The 1980's wasn't a good decade for the adult entertainment business, and Penthouse got its kicks in the ass. In 1979, after three years of production, the company finally released Caligula, the first porn movie to feature major stars such as Malcolm MacDowell, Helen Mirren and Peter O'Toole. It cost Guccione $17 million to make but only made a fraction of that at the box office. However, it did catch up in the home video market. There was also the unfinished Penthouse Boardwalk Casino and Resort in Atlantic City, other magazine ventures such as Omni, Longevity and one of the first adult magazines for women, Viva. And yes, the good 'ol religious right got its way, forcing small mom-n-pop stores to stop selling Penthouse, Playboy and other magazines.

By the 1990's, Penthouse decided to become even raunchier by showing everything from penetration to beautiful young women peeing in the desert. Of course, the magazine had its biggest nail in the coffin when a little something called the internet came into our lives. In 2003, Guccione's company, General Media went bankrupt and he stepped down as Chairman and CEO. Today, Penthouse is owned by FriendFinder, the company that owns Adult Today, the magazine's circulation stands at 500,000, a tenth of what it had back in the olden days.

Unlike Playboy, not many famous people emerged from the magazine ala Jenny McCarthy, Pamela Anderson and yes, Marilyn Monroe. Most Pets were and are porn stars. However, one former writer for Penthouse, Richard "Satchmo" Dominick went on to become the long-time executive producer of The Jerry Springer Show and was noted for turning it from a bland, low-rated Donahue clone to the daily fight-fest it became. 
In recent years, Guccione's health deteriorated. He was diagnosed with throat cancer which evolved into terminal lung cancer. Guccione - two months shy of his 80th birthday - passed away quietly at a Plano, TX hospital with two of his kids by his side. In his lifetime, he made Penthouse $4 billion. Ironically, he died the same week as Barbara Billingsley - the mother on Leave it to Beaver - and Ari Up, the lead singer of the ironically named punk band The Slits.

Not a good week for pussy.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

10.21.10 Bee-otch of the Day: Christine O'Donnell (for not knowing the 1st Amendment)

Name: Christine O'Donnell
Age: 41
Occupation: witch
Last Seen: Wilmington, DE
Bee-otched For: further proving how stupid she is


First, she preached against that nasty activity known as "masturbation".
Then, we discovered that thanks to old tapes of her as a guest on Politically Incorrect that she practiced witchcraft in high school and had a date on a Satanic alter.

Now, when the Constitution's plopped right in front of her, she makes a "duuuuuuh" sound similar to Chumley from the old Tennessee Tuxedo cartoon show.

In a debate with her opponent, Chris Coons two days ago, the nominee for Delaware senator criticized him for wanting to teach creationism in public schools. However, Coons asked the question that threw Ms. O'Donnell - still single at 41 - off guard:

"Where in the Constitution is Separation of Church and State?"

(Insert Jeopardy! theme here.)

O'Donnell responded that it's not in the Constitution, but Coons proved to the world that once again, he's got a better chance of winning that senate seat once held by current Vice President Joe Biden because he knows that it's in.... THE FIRST AMENDMENT!

O'Donnell was also asked if she would be for eliminating the 14th, 16th and 17th Amendments of the Constitution, but she didn't know the first two. The 17th Amendment deals with popular vote for senators, but the 14th Amendment guarantees US citizenship for all people born in the country while the 16 Amendment allows Congress to raise taxes without permission from the individual US states.

Yes, my friend, witches are quite stupid, aren't they.

Thankfully, O'Donnell has no chance in Hell that she'll win the senate seat. Right now, she's getting the crap beaten out of her in the polls, 40% to Coons' 51% per Rasmussen. I think people in Delaware don't want a woman who is to the right of Hitler to be the senator representing one of the most-liberal states in the US. I think the people will truly speak on November 2 that they don't want a witch who hates masturbation as their senator. The Tea Party will lose, and lose big.

The Democrats in Delaware will be O'Donnell's bucket of water.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

10.20.10 Bee-otch of the Day: WWE (for their "Stand Up For WWE" campaign)

Name: World Wrestling Entertainment
Age: 58
Occupation: sports entertainment organization
Last Seen: Stamford, CT
Bee-otched For: telling their fans to stand up


Right now, Steve Wilkos isn't the only person in Stamford telling people to 'stand up'.
World Wrestling Entertainment introduced a new campaign Monday called "Stand Up For WWE", which they ask their die-hard fans to stop the negativity regarding the company. Part of the reason for the new campaign is because of the vicious attacks Democrat Dick Blumenthal is running against now-former CEO Linda McMahon (R). Both are running for Connecticut senator in an election showing a slight lead for Blumenthal.

One reason for Blumenthal's lead is due to the negativity regarding the WWE. Many in and out of the wrestling business believe that the company is and has been screwing people over by making them "independent contractors" but yet forcing them to sign a contract, making them properties of the WWE. That way, the company can stifle them out of everything from healthcare to social security benefits.
Many wrestlers have criticized Linda for making the WWE an organization that throws its wrestlers away. When Owen Hart died in a freak accident in 1999, the company paid tribute to him. The same went to other fallen WWE heroes such as Eddie Guerrero and others, regardless of how they died. But when Chris Benoit killed his family and then himself, the company paid tribute at first, but when the cause of death was released, they have since decided to remove all references to him.

The last major wrestler to die was Lance Cade, who died last August at only 29. He had an addiction to painkillers, which affected his heart. In response to his passing, Linda claimed that the WWE  had no more ability to prevent his death "than a studio could have prevented Heath Ledger's death". The WWE virtually ignored his passing by not mentioning him on their programs.

Many wrestlers have stood up against McMahon and the WWE for basically treating them last yesterday's dinner, especially if they've fallen on hard times. As a matter of fact, many have felt that the 2008 film The Wrestler was the typical tale of most people who've been through the WWE. Billy Graham - the former wrestler and not the preacher - has spoken out against McMahon, claiming that he got Hepatitis C from touching the blood of another wrestler during a match, and that he's angry for not having a pension or health insurance after working for the company for years.

So, out comes "Stand Up For WWE".

The company launched the campaign during Monday Night Raw this week, proclaiming that the company does take care of its employees and that they do have a family-friendly image. One common image throughout the propagandic video was the TV-PG logo, symbolizing the company's dedication to entertaining people of all ages.

To me, it's like the movie industry in the 1930's. For years, Hollywood wasn't afraid to expose early adult themes, such as drinking, sex and even occasional nudity (ie Tarzan and His Mate). However, the censors got their way in 1934 and the symbol of the Motion Picture Producers and Distributors of America started gracing the screen before movies. People were so angry about being treated like children that they even resorted to throwing objects at the screen and booing. For years, the WWE wasn't afraid of showing blood, chair shots and even a Diva or two half-naked. To me, the TV-PG symbol is the modern equivalent to the MPPDA symbol.

WWE has even launched a website promoting their campaign. The site has links to company facts, overview and their outreach efforts. However, some of the info they dish out on their "setting the record straight" section is flawed:

*"Friday Night Smackdown, which made its network debut in 1999, has always been rated TV-PG." Actually, one episode was rated TV-MA for containing partial female nudity, and it was like 10 years ago. I might have the tape somewhere....

*"World Wrestling Entertainment first opened its office in 1983 with 13 employees." Actually, they've been around since 1952.

*"WWE provides a comprehensive benefits package to all full-time employees including medical, dental, vision, 401(k) and employee stock purchase plans", and "WWE has 140 Superstars and Divas currently under contract as independent contractors." Yes, they're independent contractors who are forced to work with the company and they still don't get many bennies. "The average WWE Talent earns more than $550,000 annually." Huh. Really?

I can go on and on. The point is, the reason for the conversion from TV-14 to TV-PG is simple: Linda's senatorial run and nothing more. I'll admit, a lot of the time WWE is on my TV, I'm staring at my computer screen. The product isn't as good as it once was 10 years ago when Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock were the stars. Now, it's John Cena, a rich wuss whose dad gave him everything growing up. He's basically to wrestling to what MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were to music 20 years ago. They were hot amongst kids, but five years later, the kids grew up, started listening to Snoop Dogg and 2Pac and Hammer ended up forced to do gangsta rap while Ice ended up trying out nu-metal. Of course, Hammer's now a preacher years after his much-publicized bankruptcy while Vanilla Ice is now flipping houses on the DIY Network's The Vanilla Ice Project

Folks, John Cena's fans will get tired of him in five years. Trust me. C. 1989, I loved wrestling. Then again, I was eight years old. But then, I knew that it was fake and I was turned off. However, it was The Rock and Austin that brought me back. All I can say is thank God for TNA for doing what the WWE was doing years ago. Not to mention, they've given many great ex-WWE talent and even legends a second chance. True, some of the folks need to retire, but hey, as long as The Beautiful People can bend over in front of the camera with their butt cheeks partially exposed as opposed to the over-padded bottom the Divas wear, I'm for it.

The point is, Linda's gonna lose, plain and simple. She's just like Rick Snyder and Rich Iott, two multi-millionaires known for leaving hard-working people on the side of the road to rot. True, I see a lot of people in the WWE whom I know won't last much longer (name one fan of The Dudebusters, whose slogan sounds like something you'd hear in a gay porno: "we bust dudes"). But that's life, and that's wrestling.

Linda McMahon will get the smackdown thrown onto her. Trust me.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

10.19.10 Bee-otch of the Day: News Corporation (for Cablevision/DIsh Network lockout)

Name: News Corporation
Age: 31
Occupation: media conglomerate
Last Seen: New York and Surry Hills, Australia
Bee-otched For: making it harder to watch their programming

Looks like Dish Network isn't the only company that has issues with Fox.
As we all know, Dish is embroiled in a battle with Fox's owner, News Corporation over retransmission rights with Fox Sports Network, FX and National Geographic Channel. At the end of the month, the contract to carry Fox's owned and operated TV stations on Dish will expire, meaning that people in cities like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Detroit and others will lose their local Fox - and in some markets, MyNetworkTV - affiliates if the two sides can't make up a deal.

Now, another provider is having their beef with Fox. Cablevision has lost their contract to carry Fox stations WNYW/New York, WTXF/Philadelphia and MyNetworkTV affiliate WWOR/Secaucus-New York with NatGeo and Fox Business. Even worse, Fox is carrying the National League Championships, which the Phillies are playing in, angering many in Philadelphia. 

Cablevision is a pioneer in the cable TV business, founded in 1973 by Charles Dolan, who also created HBO. Today, Cablevision owns many cable channels, including AMC, IFC, Fuse and We TV. They also own New York newspaper Newsday. They also once had the legendary Madison Square Garden and the teams that play there, the Knicks, the Liberty and the Rangers. However, James Dolan - Charles' son - is still the chairman for both companies.

Cablevision is the eighth-largest cable provider in America, covering New York, New Jersey, Connecticut and parts of Pennsylvania.

Oh, and like the chairmen of News Corp. and Dish, Charles Dolan is rich. According to Forbes, he's worth $2.5 billion.

Like Dish, Cablevision is well-known for their fights with their suppliers; in recent months, they've had battles with ABC over the carriage of their stations in Philly and New York and even Food Network and their sisters.

So now, Fox is having battles with both Dish AND Cablevision and the loser, once again is the viewer, who now has to go to the bar just to watch the game. Thankfully, Fox-TV is available over the air with an antenna. But Fox Sports Net and FX is a different story.

As I mentioned, Dolan's worth $2.5 billion. Charlie Ergen, CEO and founder of Dish is worth $4 billion. But Rupert Murdoch is rich, too, with $6.2 billion in his pocket. Right now, News Corp is basically trying to siphon more and more money out of the pockets of the poor souls who watch TV. With the way the recession's working out, why? This country's unemployment rate's at 9.7% and we don't need to waste more and more money into Uncle Rupert's little teabagger operation. As a result, he's holding our favorite shows hostage for many people, like Red Wing Hockey, The Simpsons, Family Guy, and Glee.

OK, he can keep Glee, but the point is, is that many people are dumping cable and satellite left and right because we have too many damn channels as-is. Yeah, it creates jobs, but who in reality watches BET, E!, Fuse or even The Hallmark Channel? Yeah. We buy 200 channels a month, but we only watch five of 'em.
With technology improving, who REALLY needs cable nowadays? With a good computer and connection, we can watch our favorite shows online. Over-the-air shows (NBC, CBS, etc.) can be seen with an antenna and so on.

Careful, Charles, Charlie and Rupert. You're getting owned.


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Bee-otch of the Day is a production of, Grand Rapids' site for Stern, politics and more!