Monday, November 8, 2010

11.8.10 Bee-otch of the Day: Linda McMahon





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Name: Linda McMahon
Age: 62
Occupation: former CEO, World Wrestling Entertainment
Last Seen: Connecticut
Bee-otched For: getting the smackdown put on her
 
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Midterm Tuesday was one to forget if you're a Democrat.

Last week, voters sent the Dems in the House packing, and John Boehner became the new House speaker. The Dems, however, maintained the senate and they have some botched campaigns to thank.
One of them is of course, the witch known as Christine O'Donnell, whose anti-masturbation stance and past as a witch hurt her chances of becoming the person who took Joe Biden's senate seat in Delaware. But, the biggest loser wasn't O'Donnell, it was none other than Linda McMahon, who spent $50 million of her own money hoping to take Chris Dodd's senate seat in Connecticut.

But in the end, she got the smackdown put upon her candy ass by Democrat Richard Blumenthal, that state's former attorney general.

Overall, CEOs were the big losers in last week's midterms, whether it was former Seaway Food Town CEO Rich Iott who ran against Marcy Kaptur for Ohio congressman or ex-eBay CEO Meg Whitman, who ran for governator in California, but lost thanks to her illegal alien housekeeper scandal. True, there was at least one CEO who did win, and it was former Gateway Computer head Rick Snyder, who (sadly) will become Michigan's governor January 1st.

In the case of 'ol Lindy Mac, it might have been her ties to the WWE that killed her chances of being senator. The WWE has always been a scandal-prone business, especially with problems with their wrestlers and steroids. One issue that brought down her campaign might have been the crashing downfall of Chris Benoit, the 'roid-addicted superstar and former WWE champion whose brain equaled that of an 80 year old with severe dementia when he took the lives of his wife and kid and then himself.  

When asked about Benoit, Linda replied with something to the effect of "what was I supposed to do? Where the movie studios responsible for Heath Ledger's death?" Of course, unlike the Paramounts, the Warners and the 20th Century Foxes of the world, the WWE virtually has the wrestling business all to themselves. That, of course, especially since the WWE bought out its competitors WCW and ECW years ago. Yes, the WWE has some competition in the up-and-rising TNA and to an extent Ring of Honor, but still, they don't have the competition the top movie studios in Hollywood have.

So, what does Linda do to make her sweet ass look good prior to her senate run? Simple. They downgrade all of WWE's shows to TV-PG, making them more family friendly and every time a former WWE wrestler dies, they just drag him under the rug, pretending that person never existed.

Look, I've been a WWE fan off and on all my life. I would watch Superstars of Wrestling and Saturday Night's Main Event as a kid, but as I became a teen, I knew it was all fake and corny. But then, the Attitude era began, and the WWE began a renaissance period - at least for me - with The Rock, Mankind Mick Foley and (especially) Stone Cold Steve Austin. I loved wrestling again since it was edgy and fun. But the aforementioned retired and John Cena came, pleading to the WWE to make their shows family friendly. Tragically, he won the argument and now, the WWE is basically softcore gay porn.

You see, Linda should have worked on making the WWE fun again, and not a kids' show. Remember MC Hammer? He was probably the most upbeat rapper of all time until the gangsta rap movement took a bigger effect on the music industry. End of story: Hammer lost $30 million, dropped from his label and ended up recording that rap classic "2 Humps and a Bump" for Death Row Records. What a difference just a few years makes. The same will go to Cena, whose core fan base of eight year olds will become teens soon.

And let's not forget the other arenas the WWE has tried: World Bodybuilding Federation, the XFL and even movies, all of them bombed. Linda McMahon, please stick to wrestling next time.
  
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