Monday, December 12, 2011

12.12.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Lindsay Lohan

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: Lindsay Lohan
Age: 25
Occupation: party girl
Last Seen: Los Angeles
Bee-otched For: being a cunt

Hugh Hefner, I love you man, but you're getting senile.

Last week, the much-ballyhooed Playboy pictorial of Lindsay Lohan was revealed. It shows the troubled actress once again channeling Marilyn Monroe, similar to her pictorial in New York Magazine a few years ago.

Prior to the pictorial's release, her publicist said that she would bare all in the mens' mag: breasts, butt and yes, vajayjay. However, reports said that Lohan had to come back in to reshoot some photos.

Whoever Lindsay's publicist is needs to be shot.

When the photos leaked last week, we got to see a lot of her flesh-colored nipples and more ass than what her New York feature showed, but the only vag we got to see from her was covered by her right leg.

Reportedly, Playboy paid LiLo nearly a million bucks, and this is it. No vajayjay. True, it's a step up from the late Heidi Montag's disastrous shoot from a few years ago, but once again, Lindsay's just another cunt who doesn't mind showing her twat in front of horny cameramen but not her fans, or what fans she still has.

Of course, we have that pic of her from a few years ago above. Judging by what the thing looks like, she's probably banged everything she sees.

Since the issue leaked, the magazine has announced that it will hit stands sooner than usual. The issue is for January and February, so there's two months wasted. Bear in mind that yes, even Playboy has been pinched by the poor economy and is publishing fewer issues. After all, it's reported that the magazine - once worth over a billion dollars - is only worth somewhere around $80 million and losing money faster than a rabbit fucking. Why? Simple: PEOPLE CAN SEE NAKED CHICKS ONLINE FOR FREE!Playboy bowing to a coked-up, washed-up skank like LiLo will only help demote Hef from the Playboy Mansion to a poor man's nursing home.

It's amazing that LiLo loves Marilyn Monroe so much; after all, they both lived a life of vice. Marilyn died at 32, and if LiLo dies sooner, I wouldn't be surprised one bit.

Thanks, LiLo, but I have better girls online to jack off to.

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