1.16.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Meijer

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Name: Meijer
Age: 80
Occupation: retail juggernaut
Last Seen: Walker, MI
Bee-otched For: piss-poor pharmacy service

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Heredity sucks.

For years, my late grandfather battled Meniere's Disease, an inner ear infection that causes everything from vertigo to anxiety to loss of hearing. It can be passed down...

...And I might be it.

For the past year and a half - and maybe more - I've noticed my anxiety levels rise at times to the point where I start to shake. Last year, I cut out caffeine from my diet altogether, but I still feel like shit a lot.

When I was on my trip to Kentucky last Thanksgiving, I woke up feeling like I had slight vertigo. I made the eight-hour drive home and around Midnight or so, I was shaking and dizzy. I went to bed and thankfully, I was well-rested the next day. However, my near-panic attacks came back and at times I felt like fainting. On the day before New Years' Eve, at work, I was running back to my station and I just had that feeling that I walked off an elevator. I told my family my problems, and my aunt - an RN at the Grand Rapids Home for Veterans - told me that I might have Meniere's Disease. I talked to my father about it, and he recommended that I see a doctor.

Well, on Tuesday, I did. Guess what? Yep, I have an ear infection alright. No wonder why I feel like I'm going to fall down a lot. So, he gave me two prescriptions: one was for an antibiotic for the ears and another was Celexa for my anxiety. I was thinking about going to the Walgreen's across the street from the doctor's office, but my doc told me "Fred Meijer's giving away his antibiotics for free". So, since there was a Meijer another 1.5 miles or so down the road, I figured, "why not?"

Now, I prefer Walgreen's over Meijer because in recent years, Meijer has gone downhill in regards to quality. Yeah, Wally's slightly more expensive in some areas, but with my anxiety, I'd rather shop at a smaller store instead of dodging total strangers for 1/2 a mile just for a gallon of milk.

But as they all say, "doctor's orders".

I got to the Meijer pharmacy department, and checked in for the first time. They told me that they would call or text me within the next 30-40 minutes. So, since I had errands to run, I went all the way down to Madison Ave. to deliver my broken TV to the repair shop. I got back, and they STILL weren't done with my meds. I checked in at 4 p.m. and it was now about 5:00. I was hungry, so I went to Qdoba for dinner. During my dinner, my phone didn't ring once. I was starting to get pissed. So, after woofing down my burrito, I headed back there, waited and waited and waited. I finally got back to the consultation section and asked if my meds were ready, and they were. No text, no phone message. Nada. The good news was that my meds were less than $4. The bad news? I WAITED TWO FUCKING HOURS FOR TWO SMALL BOTTLES OF PRESCRIPTIONS.

Ya know, I get pissed when I hear about small mom-n-pa drug stores being forced to close all because they can't compete with Wally's, Wal-Mart or Meijer. I have a great aunt and uncle who live in northern Michigan, and they went to a Walgreen's in (I think) Florida not long after my great uncle had surgery. The people there were rude and didn't work fast enough to get him his meds, and yet, he was on the verge of puking his guts out. Yet, the small pharmacy in the small town they live nearby has been in business since the early 1900's and in the middle of the night, if there's an emergency, the owner - who lives upstairs - will kindly come down to make up a prescription. You can't get that kind of service, even at a "24-hour" pharmacy.

But, that's Meijer for ya. Their owners live in huge mansions and are worth over $6 billion while the small pharmacy owner lives in the upstairs apartment. Thanks, but even if he charges for drugs that the other guys give out for free, I might change my mind next time I need a prescription.

Bigger isn't always better.

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1.14.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Townsquare Media

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Name: Townsquare Media
Age: 18
Occupation: media company
Last Seen: Greenwich, CT
Bee-otched For: screwing up their Grand Rapids stations

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As the old saying goes, the lesser of all the evils is still evil.

And when it comes to Grand Rapids radio, that's Townsquare Media, which owns WGRD, Channel 95-7, 100.5 The River, Classic Hits 98.7 and 1410 The Touch.

The other two evils, of course are Clear Channel (WOOD-AM/FM, B93, WSNX, WTKG, ESPN 96.1 and 101.3 The Brew) and Cumulus (LAV, Thunder 94.5, WBBL, Hot FM and WJRW). Both companies kiss right-wing ass by syndicating hate talkers like Rush, Michael Savage and Hannity, Cumulus banned the Dixie Chicks from their stations because of Natalie Maines' anti-Bush statement and both companies replaced Howard Stern on their stations with low-rent wannabes.

Thankfully, in Townsquare's case, they've never ditched Stern from their stations, even when he announced that he was moving to Sirius. Yeah, some of their stations are hate talk, but I'll betcha that one of their country stations are playing "Landslide" as I'm typing this. Here in Grand Rapids, they've proven that an active rock station can still survive in the age of shitty slut pop and a bunch of assclowns who dress up like it's 1876 who play shitty folk music and call it rock. WGRD is near the top of the ratings thanks to the popular Free Beer and Hot Wings program and decent jocks like Jackie Green and Shaffee. However, WGRD still is missing a few things, like, oh, a full-time night jock and especially a PD. According to sources, WGRD is being programmed by Townsquare corporate, and as long as the ratings are good, the lunatics can run the asylum.

However, the sad thing about Townsquare right now is their firing of morning jocks Andy O'Reilly and Dave Kaechle from Classic Hits 98.7 last week. According to corporate, their ratings weren't that great, although it has sparked outrage from former listeners. Now, Craig Russell is their only jock. It is not known what will happen to the station, which at times shares their ratings with sister 100.5 The River.

Recently, WFGR also lost their midday jock, Matt Hendricks as well.

Now, I do wonder why Townsquare is trying to kill WFGR and not The River, a station with a music mix aimed at old farts. But, that's radio 4 ya. The people aspect of the medium disappeared a long time ago. Now, the people have spoken, and instead of Walkmans, they plug their headphones in their Samsung Galaxies. But what might be more tragic is that instead of seeing loser jocks being shown the door, it's hard workers who are the chosen ones. I hope Andy and Dave will be back on their feet again. Even more, I hope Townsquare gets their shit in order.

But then again, what do you expect from a market where your station is at the bottom of the ratings and STILL have a huge afternoon show only five people listen to?

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1.13.14 Bee-otch of the Day: WWE

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Sup

 Name: World Wrestling Entertainment
Age: 61
Occupation: wrestling entertainment promotion
Last Seen: Stamford, CT
Bee-otched For: creating another XFL

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Vincent Kennedy McMahon is a man of many wonderful ideas.

Despite a crippling bankruptcy at the age of 30, forcing him to work 90 hours a week in a quarry, Vinny Mac bounced back in the 1980's as the head of what was then the World Wrestling Federation. During the 1980's, the WWF gave us Hulk Hogan, Andre the Giant, Bam Bam Bigelow, "Macho Man" Randy Savage and so much more. Vince was even the mastermind of Wrestlemania, one of the biggest pay-per-view events of all time.

But yes, Mr. McMahon is a man of bad moves, too. The World Bodybuilding Federation was a bomb and his foray into football, the Xtreme Football League (XFL) was a money-losing disaster. Now, he's finally done something that he hopes would be successful:

His own cable network.

The WWE Channel was formally announced this past week. It was originally revealed two years ago, but it was never formalized. It was McMahon's hope that he could get the channel onto basic cable systems, but that was a pipe dream. Now, WWE fans can relive all of its history as a streaming service that officially launches next month. The cost is $9.99 per month for a six-month commitment. For that 10 bucks, wrestling fans get repeats of that week's Raw and Smackdown! plus classic matches from the WWE's entire history, commentary, original shows and so much more.

Oh, there's even some 1,500 hours of old World Championship Wrestling (WCW) and Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) programs that the network plans to air. Even better, it's all uncut and uncensored, meaning that there will be some programs on there that will be rated TV-MA (most of the WWE's shows are TV-PG). In other words, there will be some blood and sexy female wrestler boobies and thongs. Rumor has it that the channel will also air some material long-thought to have been erased from the company's history, like Chris Benoit matches and anything having to do with the company's old name, the WWF (which they changed after a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund).

But the question is, will hardcore wrestling fans - especially those that the WWE abandoned when they went from the Attitude era to the current TV-PG one that they're on now?

My answer is no. Look, I've always had a love-hate relationship with the WWE. When I was a little boy, I used to watch the Superstars of Wrestling every week. I didn't have cable, so it was my gateway to the world of sports entertainment. I played WWF video games with the neighbor kids as well.

But guess what? I became a teen. I learned that wrestling was fake. To me, Hulk Hogan was some old steroid-infested dude who did gay shit. With the steroid scandal that almost killed the business in the 1990's and Vince McMahon's career, I was happy enough that the Red Wings were winning championships.

However, I became a fan of Celebrity Death Match on MTV, and one of its "stars" was Stone Cold Steve Austin. I started seeing people with "Austin 3:16" shirts everywhere and so, I started watching again. The Attitude era saved the WWE and made it fun again. True, there was more blood and some stars died like Owen Hart, but all truth be told, Vince McMahon knew that sex, violence and whatever profanities are allowed on cable TV worked. Raw was the highest-rated show on cable and Smackdown! was the savior of the old UPN, which folded into what is now The CW. True, conservatives bashed the WWE for being to racy, but ratings = money.

Sadly, Stone Cold Steve Austin retired, Mankind Mick Foley went to TNA but is back at the WWE as an occasional, The Rock is acting and well, at least Triple H and the Undertaker are occasionally still around. But now, there's wrestlers that to me are just OK like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan and total losers like John Cena who was a mastermind of making the WWE more family-friendly.

I watched their yearly Tribute to the Troops on NBC a few weeks ago, and it reminded me as to why I don't watch the WWE anymore. Stale and boring. And not only that, their PPV subscriptions are down ($50 is too steep of a price, IMO) and some cable providers are pissed. Their contract renewals for USA (Raw) and Syfy (Smackdown!) are up (both are owned by Comcast), so god only knows who will run with that.

Oh, did I tell you that Vince's kids aren't really into the family business anymore? Shane left the WWE a few years ago and Stephanie has sold almost all her shares in the company (she's also the wife of Triple H). With wife Linda's failed runs for the US Senate, it's proof that Vince McMahon is the one getting the smacketh downeth. The WWE just isn't cool anymore, and their long-time fans have all moved on. $10 per month for classic events? Thanks, but there's YouTube for that.

Vince McMahon needs to be the one who puckers up and kisses his former fans' collective asses. 

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1.9.14 Bee-otch of the Day: Chris Christie

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Name: Chris Christie
Age: 51
Occupation: Governor
Last Seen: New Jersey
Bee-otched For: burning down a bridge

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Looks like the savior of the Republican party has some 'splaining to do.

The morbidly-obese governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie is under fire because of a rumored war between him and the mayor of Fort Lee, NJ, Mark Sokolich, a Democrat who refused to endorse him in his 2013 re-election bid. On September 9, 2013, the toll lanes for Fort Lee from the George Washington Bridge - which links New York to New Jersey - were reduced from three to one, angering those trying to get into the city. One of the cars was a police vehicle searching for a missing four-year-old girl.

The order to shut the lanes down from three to one were from David Wildstein, who was appointed by an old friend of Christie's, Bill Baroni. The lane closures were made without council to the city of Fort Lee, and now, leaked emails from Christie's staff have shown that the shutdown of Fort Lee was intentional.

Now, Christie has a mess on his hands, and it could ruin his chances of being a top candidate for the Republican presidential ticket for 2016. Personally, it just shows that Christie is just like every other Republican, putting his needs over everyone else's.

But who knows? Maybe he'll have a heart attack within the next two years.

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1.8.14 Bee-otch of the Day: space heaters (and the idiots who own them)

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Name: space heaters (and the idiots who own them)
Age: ??
Occupation: heaters of small spaces
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: burning down the house

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Ladies and gents, I'm not scared to say this:

Winter sucks.

In the 11 1/2 years I've lived here in Grand Rapids, I've never seen it this cold. On Monday and Tuesday, it didn't even get out of the single digits for the high temperature. At times, it was in the negative territory. It was so cold that schools and businesses closed and idiots who don't know space heaters that well used them and lost their homes.

Last month, a bikini club in Stanwood - near Big Rapids - called The Gentleman 131 burned to the ground. The cause? Yep, a space heater. Last week, Grand Rapids even faced a massive loss when a third of the skybox building facing first base at Fifth Third Ballpark burned. The cause? A maintenance crew using a space heater to warm up a room. It was in the negative temps that day as well, and the fire department had to use 1,000-foot hoses to extinguish the blaze, which has put a damper on the West Michigan Whitecaps' upcoming season. Thankfully, the team's owners have all proclaimed that it will be open come opening day.

When I was a young boy of seven, my family and I went to Arizona for Christmas. We came back, and our furnace had stopped running. So, instead of ponying up the cash to fix the old one or buy a new one, Dad decided to use the woodstove instead to heat the home. Problem was, the stove was on the right side of the house while our bedrooms were on the left. So, when I was about 10, my parents got me a space heater for Christmas. However, I became afraid to use it one day because I turned it on, and half of my room lost electricity. Being the young dude who watched Rescue 911 all the time and always afraid that the house would burn down, I sure wasn't going to use that thing anymore.

Thankfully, my apartment has heat, and it's not from wood. Because it is small, there's no need for a space heater. However, there's people who think that space heaters are the savior of cold weather, but they're too damn careless to use them. Now, because of carelessness, Grand Rapids is without 1/3 of their baseball stadium and college girls in Big Rapids have to wear their bikinis elsewhere.

Simple, simple, simple. If you have a space heater, have nothing near it. Also, if it starts to short, it's no longer usable. Point is, if you use a space heater, don't use it. Instead, maybe wear more clothes or get a better heater. But, please, the fire department doesn't want to work in sub-zero temps.

After all, some of them are working lots of overtime.

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1.7.14 Bee-otch of the Day: northern Michigan radio (especially WKLT)

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Name: northern Michigan radio
Age: various
Occupation: the industry of sound up north
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: still sucking when it comes to rock

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For a year like 2014, KLT still sounds like 1978.

It's a shame that this heap of horseshit was my childhood rock station. They seemed to only care about those born before 1970 throughout its entire history. But that's what you get for having owners from Buttfuck, ND and a clueless PD in Terri Ray who never even had a rock music background. As a matter of fact, on Ray's first day at KLT, she played an entire side of a Pink Floyd album because she didn't know when a song started or ended.

True, KLT is still the top rock station up north, but from many accounts, I've heard that their ratings have tumbled since Finster was fired from the station over "budget cuts" and that Omelette's morning show is like watching paint dry. Not to mention that the nice people at parent Northern Broadcast seem to hire and fire people at a massive rate, unless your name's either Finster or Terri Ray.

This weekend, Ray will celebrate 30 years at The Rock Station with a party for her at a bar in Grawn, a suburb of Traverse City. I find it amazing that she's still there, but so many in KLT's past got the axe of NBI's penny-pinching.

In the past 10 years, KLT's sound has gotten more and more stale. In one hour, the only "current" I saw on their playlist is a remake of "Born on the Bayou" by John Fogerty and the overrated Kid Rock. The rest is butt rock from Billy Squier, Eagles, Def Leppard, Journey, Steve Miller Band, Ted Negent and Rod Stewart. It's a shame that there's a TON of rock that came out past 1990, and the only tracks I see in two hours' time are Green Day ("American Idiot"), Johnny Lang ("Lie to Me"), Santana ("Into the Night" with Nickelback's Chad Kroeger), MORE Kid Rock ("Only God Knows Why"), EVEN MORE Kid Rock with Sammy Hagar ("Knockdown Dragout") and the Black Crowes ("Hard to Handle").

And they're honoring the woman who has made this flaming pile of horseshit with a party.

I know, I've been hard on Ms. Ray since this site started 15 years ago. I know that she's a real nice person in real life, but goddamn she's a crappy programmer. I know, northern Michigan is retirement country and the Baby Boomers would like to have their own rock station. Plus, there's Rock 105....

....Which leads to the fact that they had their annual "Metallica-Thon" Saturday night, and according to their sponsor list, a lot of the supporters were from.... TRAVERSE CITY! Yet, 105.1's signal is horrible in the Cherry Capital, plus the fact that simulcaster 95.5 flipped to sleepy AC last year, angering many active rock fans in the Grand Traverse Region. Gee, Del Reynolds! So, how is Easy 95-5 doing?

But what makes me laugh a little is the fact that KLT recently made Tom Devitt the co-host of their stupid "Afternoon Trainwreck" show. Yes, THAT Tom Devitt. He was the former morning host at the long-defunct The Zone (now EZ 95-5) in the late 90's. However, the writing was on the wall, so he ended up at a crappy Hot AC station in CARO of all places, WIDL 92.1 The Coyote (what a lovely name for a station aimed towards soccer moms) where he bombed the Michigan Radio and TV Buzzboard with spam posts promoting his shitty radio show "Rabid Radio" as "radiostudtd". Of course, he was canned from that station but somehow ended back up in northern Michigan first at Big Country 102.9 and then WMBN 1340 doing a sports show before ending up at NBI doing another sports show at ESPN 106.7/105.5 and now the Afternoon Trainwreck at KLT where he'll probably end up chopped again due to NBI's everlasting budget cuts.

Oh, and he became a darling to me when he told me that the jock known as "Ted Cramer" was fired from The Bear because of his ill-fated "opimizing" of their playlist in the mid-2000's (their playlist was pretty much Ted Nugent into A Flock of Seagulls into The Who into Depeche Mode) that caused listeners to leave in droves. Turns out that Cramer - now at some hick station in rural Indiana - posts on the Buzzboard as "Zzand", which caused a lot of people to hate my guts on there, leading to my resignation from the board. Don't you love trolls, and how they can move up in life?

You see, if you're a rock fan in northern Michigan, yeah, you have four choices: three quasi-to-full-blown classic rockers and a station whose signal sucks in Traverse City. But there's also Slacker, Pandora, Sirius or your MP3 player. As long as northern Michigan radio's Baby Boomer-friendly owners run the show, that's what'cha gonna get: oldies, classic rock, country amd AC. Are you a rock fan 18-34? Tough shit. There's Rock 105, which has a poor signal into Traverse City and ignores a ton of new rock that's out there (two notible tracks they've passed on, "Bones" by Young Guns and "Lift Me Up" by Five Finger Death Punch were two of the top rock tracks of 2013).

Video didn't kill the radio star, it's the asshole owners and the listeners who don't take shit from them.

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1.6.14 Bee-otch of the Day: a neighbor of mine...

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Name: anonymous
Age: 2x
Occupation: Chinese restaurant waiter
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: being a drunk idiot

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I know, I know. We shouldn't stereotype people based on where they're originated.

I grew up in lily white northern Michigan in the 80's and 90's. Rarely did I see any blacks or Asians, although Hispanics and Native Americans seemed to be more prevalent thanks to the cherry orchards and casinos naturally.

When I moved to west Michigan in 2000, it was the most-diverse moment in my life. I went to a trade school and my roommates were all black. I tried my damndest to accept them, but they seemed to not accept me very well. Sometimes, they mooched off me and I had to do all the work for them. Thankfully, I graduated, found a job and found a place of my own.

Like all dwellings, my apartment has its perks and negatives. My place is a melting pot of whites, blacks, Hispanics, Asians and people from weird countries I've never heard of before. The place I live at is cheap, but sadly, I have to deal with the neighbors and their loud stereos and TVs. Plus, despite the fact that my complex is all one-bedroom apartments, some people have children who run around and scream, which becomes a massive disturbance.

A few weeks ago, I came home after a long, 10-hour day when on the third floor, a Vietnamese man, about in his 20s and with long black hair started screaming at me. He was asking if I smoked, and I said "no". He then asked if I could take him to the party store down the street to buy smokes and beer, and he would pay me $10 to do so. I said "why not" and I put my things away, picked him up at his apartment and it was off to the party store. On the way there, he was quite talkative, talking about how the gas stations were run by Indians, the nail salons were owned by Vietnamese and so on. He seemed to be OK, but I was kinda sketchy about him. We exchanged numbers and I was paid $8.50 (not $10) for my help.

Two weeks passed, and he called while I was about to eat my Hot Pockets in my pajamas. I figured that it would only take a few minutes once again, but nope! I came into his apartment where he was scantily clad in his boxers and handed me a Heineken. One beer couldn't hurt, so I went down to the store, got his smokes and a six-pack of Heinis, and headed back to his place. I thought that was it, but I was dead wrong.

For the next two hours he was sitting there, talking about the same shit he was talking to me about, but added on a bunch of shit about Obama. He was saying that people hate Obama because of Obamacare, plus in his words, if you live off the government, you're not free. OK, so apparently, this prick believes that we should live in a system where we pay a company thousands of dollars per year to help us fight sickness but instead uses that money for profit? Sorry, but that's stupid. I met a woman from England who moved to Michigan recently, and she misses England deeply. Healthcare is better and so is the television as well.

For those two hours, I wanted to leave, NOW. But he talked and talked and talked out of his ass. His apartment was nasty; dirty fingerprints everywhere and black mold was creeping up his bathtub walls. I always thought that I lived in squalor, but he was much worse. At least I spray down the showers every week, vacuum the floors and so forth weekly. But this guy? Talk about nasty. His "bed" is an old futon mattress on the living room floor. He does have a bedroom, but it's loaded with clothes.

What REALLY pissed me off was that every time I finished a beer, he would open up another one for me without asking. Thing is, I'm not a heavy drinker. He was slurring his speech because of his constant boozing and he wanted me to follow him. We talked about my job and he wanted me to find another one. So, he found a man who he used to work for who ran a delivery service, and asked if he could work for him, and he told him that one of his drivers was retiring, so it would be after the New Year. During this time, he was winking at me, but I knew what the plan was: after working a long, 10-hour day, I would work for this guy and the Vietnamese guy would be making all the money while I'm putting miles on my car that I hope to last another five years. I had to tell him that I had to go because I was working tomorrow, and I had to rest up. Finally, I was free.

Well, I did come back to his place the night after since he brought home some food from his restaurant, but that was the end. He was cooking rice from his FILTHY rice cooker and it just grossed me out. He was telling me to come back tomorrow night, but that was a work night and I couldn't. I told my father about him, and he agreed: I should never, ever talk to a guy like that.

Since then, I blocked his number from my phone. However, he still got to my voicemail. Last week, he tried to call me from a different phone, but I knew that it had to be him. He even texted me. Nice try.

You see, I don't mind alcohol. In my 20's, I would go to the bar on Saturday nights and drink until midnight, sober up and go home. That was it for me. But now in my 30's, I've been drinking a lot less since alcohol is not all that good for you, although some doctors are keen to one beer per day. But sadly, I've been exposed to many alcoholics in my life, and their drinking is a massive turn-off. My mother's father was an alcoholic. My dad's brother battled the bottle for years. My mother's ex-in-laws were all boozers. I had a co-worker whom I worked for on the weekends at her place who drank heavily and in the small town I lived in, people gossiped about it. Now, I have to deal with his assclown and his drinking and smoking problem.

Folks, if you don't have a car and you drink and smoke too much, it's time to reevaluate your life. People don't owe you anything. I'm not a taxi driver, and I'm not going to have a bromance with this loser. If he wants to drink and smoke to his heart's content, it's time to find a new drinking buddy. Maybe when he and his new friend wake up in a jail cell, he'll realize how fucked up his life REALLY is.

And that's what I call a dudevorce.  

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