Monday, August 27, 2012

8.27.12 Bee-otch of the Day: televangelists

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Name: The Religious Right
Age: ageless
Occupation: professional BS-ers
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: getting rocked by a hurricane


This week, the Republican National Convention is supposed to be held at the Tampa Bay Times Forum, the home of that town's Lightning hockey team.

Ironically, several WWE events have been held there, and this week, people will have to stand back, because there's a hurricane coming through.

Hurricane Isaac is supposed to hit Tampa sometime within the next week, and because forecasters are predicting him to be a Catagory two storm, it would force the RNC to re-work its schedule.

Hmmmm.... Did somebody pray for this?

Now, remember all these televangelists who prayed for hurricanes because of towns in Florida that had gay pride parades? Take Pat Robertson for example. He told Disney in 1995 that when they have gay pride parades at Disney World, it would be God's plan to give them a hurricane, tornado or even a meteor. When Hurricane Bonnie was pummelling towards Orlando in 1998, it steered off course and ended up hitting the Hampton Roads region of Virginia, the home of Robertson and his 700 Club.

Too bad it didn't knock him off the air permenently.

And then there's the great John Hagee. In 2004, he blamed Hurricane Katrina on New Orleans' love of gays. He claimed that there was supposed to be a huge gathering of gays in the city the Monday the hurricane came, and it was Divine Retribution from Almighty God himself for tolerating a lifestyle he saw as abnormal.

OK, so now, Isaac's about ready to blow the Tampa Bay Times Forum off its foundation - and for the record, the Times is a liberal-leaning paper - so, where's the Pat Robertsons and John Hagees of the world proclaiming that the hurricane is God's punishment to the Republican party for their henonistic activities? You know: ripping off the poor and middle class while they run wild with lots of bucks in their pockets?

In the end, it's proof that God has a plan, after all, and it's to tell those money-grabbing televanglist assholes that they're complete morons, plain and simple. Using the money stolen from the hands of their viewers, they think they're using God to tell the gays that God's punishing them. But in the end, they're the ones having to duck and cover.

Just think: God masturbated and missed the toilet.
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