Monday, August 6, 2012

8.6.12 Bee-otch of the Day: The Republican Party

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: The Republican Party
Age: 158
Occupation: right-winged jerks
Last Seen: Washington, DC
Bee-otched For: making me live in a hellhole


Like many Americans, I wish I was living the American dream.

As I'm typing this at 4:30 a.m. on a Monday morning, it's 58 degrees outside. Yet, my AC is on full-blast, and I'm wearing sweatpants. Why? Well...

The story begins Thursday night when I came home from work after working a normal eight hours. I was scheduled for 10 hours, but because the lead man on my crew had the night off, I went home at a normal time. Boy, was I lucky.

One of my normal routines is to clean out my bathroom and other parts of my small apartment in Grand Rapids. However, as I was getting ready to spray Scrubbing Bubbles into my tub, a strange trickle of water started pouring on my head from the exhaust fan. That trickle of water turned into a stream and I grabbed the bucket. Soon, water started spreading from one ceiling to another, and I called maintenance. Thankfully, the repair man came within maybe five minutes (it felt like 15, though) and saw the travesty going on. He rushed upstairs and found the problem as I was rushing to save my items in my closets from getting drenched from the flood. In the end, my bathroom was flooded, and so were my closets. Not to mention, the ceiling in my bathroom started to sink in, and on Saturday morning, one of the sections of wet drywall collapsed.

After the melee, the repair guy and I wet-vac'd the floors - which are still damp three days later - and today, they're coming back to deodorize the carpets and re-do the ceiling in my bathroom. Sadly, they're coming this morning, so I might not get a whole lot of sleep.

So, what caused my poor 'ol apartment to get flooded? Simple: a nasty-ass old black woman lives upstairs from me apparently got all drunk, was about to take a bath, passed out and allowed her tub to overflow.

That fucking old ho is DAMN lucky I didn't come home later or else that place might have gone up in flames or collapsed. But, there's a lot of work that needs to be done and guess who's paying? YEP! SHE IS! Plus, my place has a "three strikes" policy which limits the asshole derelicts that seem to roam this place, giving it a bad rap, and she's on strike two. With the bullshit she's caused, if I were the landlord, I'd kick her ass out.

So, why's the Republican party getting Bee-otched and not her? Simple: they're the root of the problem. You see, I have no real choice but to live here. It's the only place in town that I can afford without getting a (groan) roommate or even better, a woman to live with me. Having a nice house is a dream, but not when you've been working for the same wages you've been making for almost a decade.

I love assholes who blast me for having "arrested development" because I have a crappy job and a crappy place to live. Guess what? It's all beyond my power. Ronald Reagan was elected as president in 1980, and he slashed taxes for the wealthy, cut education and busted the unions. The average American only makes on average 1% more than what they were making in 1980 while CEO pay has exploded. Sadly, in 30 years, we've only had two presidents who have moved this country in a positive direction and the last one we had gave us a huge surplus that reverted back to the wealthy thanks to the last loser in charge.

During the Clinton years, if you hated your job, you could cross the street. Now, it's difficult just to get even the lowest-paying entry-level jobs out there. I do have my resume online, but the majority of the companies that have sent me anything are crappy commission jobs.

But that's Grand Rapids for ya. Wanna be middle class? TOUGH. Instead of getting a job that has security and good pay, you're making the same wage as a burger flipper, living in a big building surrounded by questionable people. That's not the life I wanted. Yeah, I can go back to school... For what? To get another loser job that has no ladder?

Thanks, but that's why I vote Democrat. I want CEOs and big companies to pay their fair share in taxes. It's time to make this country a progressive FDR-style country again where people get good-paying jobs and less excuses. All the GOP wants is for you to get dumped on by a drunk nappy-headed ho while they sleep comfortably in their huge mansion in the country. Sorry, but it's time to play fair.

And once again, R goes backward while D goes forward and beyond.

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