Tuesday, May 14, 2019

5.14.19 Bee-otch of the Day: west Michigan radio


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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.

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Name: west Michigan radio stations
Age: ageless
Occupation: supposed entertainers of west Michigan
Last Seen: Grand Rapids, MI
Bee-otched For: not making wise programming decisions
 
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On Monday morning, I was given a ride awakening by by local rock station, WGRD in Grand Rapids.

At 4:30 AM, Breaking Benjamin's latest, "Tourniquet" segued into a song that I feel has no place in modern rock radio: "Sweet Home Alabama" by overrated southern rockers Lynyrd Skynyrd. 

Because 'Skinner was my drunk, wife-cheating, racist pig of an ex-stepdad's favorite band, I immediately shut off the alarm and went on with my day.

Grand Rapids already has several other classic rock stations in WLAV and 101.3 The Fox-er, I mean, Brew. Why GRD needs to play butt rock recorded before I was born is beyond me. But since GRD is a service of Townsquare, well, there you go.

What's more depressing is that Cumulus recently resurrected the WKLQ call letters (warehoused on 1490 AM in Whitehall) on 94.5. Nice, but instead of active rock, those tuning in to 94.5 are forced to listen to shitty adult alternative music from shit bands like Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band and every dorky ass mandolin-playing folk band out there that pretends like it's 1915.

And so far, since its January relaunch, The Q has been 86'd by their audience. In the Winter 2019 Nielsen book, the station only mustered a 1.1, proving that AAA is NOT a good format for Grand Rapids. Granted, they're trying to go after the WYCE/NPR crowd, but since this is the company that yanked the Dixie Chicks from their stations here, it ain't working.

And speaking of Public Radio, or should I say Public REALITY Radio, their poor owner, Bob Goodrich just had to close another one of his failing theaters in Canton by Ann Arbor. The seven-screen Canton 7 could not compete against the much-nicer Emagine cinema closeby. The Canton 7 is being repurposed as a gym. Of course, this is the same Bob Goodrich who couldn't compete with the Loeks family in his own hometown of Grand Rapids. As long as he has Tyrone Bynum calling the shots and manipulating people like he did Darren Gibson, WPRR will be a flaming piece of shit.

The sad thing is that 20 years ago when I started this site in northern Michigan, I wished for a balls-to-the-wall active rock format since KLQ was a far-better station than KLT and The Zone. Now, there's Rock 105 and 95-5 and when I checked their playlist at 9:15 last night, the oldest song out of 10 listed was Nirvana's "Dumb" from 1993. Personally, I prefer a grunge ballad from a man who spoke to my generation over a shitty southern rock anthem that thousands of white trash women have been beaten up to by their mullet-topped boyfriends or husbands.

But of course, unlike my high school years, we now have satellite radio and other forms of digital media to keep us happy. I only listen to GRD for five minutes when I wake up in the morning and satellite radio for the rest of the day.

So, here's something that I wonder about: why can't Cumulus put the old rock format of WKLQ BACK on 94.5? I know, Hanlon killed it. But I think if they can lure away Free Beer and Hot Wings from GRD, it might work. Hell, when GRD hired away Rick, Scott and Darla away from KLQ c. 1995, their listeners went to GRD with them. That, of course until KLQ got smart and got Howard Stern to do mornings. I think as soon as Cumulus has more capital from their sales of WPLJ, KLOS and others, they should make that push. But will it happen? God only knows.

But personally, I think what Cumulus REALLY should have done is made 94.5 an urban station to go head-to-head with WSNX. Will that happen? Well, this is Cumulus, you know.

Just hope that they don't get Tyrone to run it.



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