Tuesday, July 10, 2012

7.10.12 Bee-otch of the Day: people still lighting fireworks after the 4th of July

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on Chuck69.com.


Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: not realizing that the 4th of July was only one day this year


This year wasn't necessarily the best year to celebrate our nation's birthday.

Last week, Independence Day fell on a Wednesday. For most employers, that basically gave them a license to only allow their employees that day off. If the 4th fell on a Thursday or maybe even a Tuesday, that meant that the Monday before or the Friday after had to be a day off, too. But since the 4th was on a Wednesday, many people had to either scratch off their 4th of July plans or take a few extra days off.

And for some people, that meant one thing: a huge lack of sleep.

Here in Michigan, the sale of higher-powered fireworks was legalized recently, which meant that those big boomers that you once had to buy in Indiana are now legally sold here in Michigan. Of course, that's a somewhat retarded move since there's a huge drought here in Grand Rapids. It hasn't rained here in weeks. Two weeks ago, somebody's fireworks got out of control, and a spent canister ended up landing on St. Mary Magdalene's Catholic Church in Kentwood's roof, causing it to catch fire, burning it to the ground.

But being in the city, people just don't learn, or even care. I came back from visiting family around Midnight last Thursday and as I was filling up, I thought I heard a loud gunshot. Then I realized that yep, it's the 4th. I got home, went to bed at about 5:30 in the morning (I work 2nd shift, mind you) and at 8:30 in the morning, yep, more loud fireworks. I was thinking, "doesn't my town have an ordinance on when you can play with fireworks?"

The answer is yes, and thankfully, all is silent since. But for now on, I'm going to think of the 4th as a day where even though it's dryer than Betty White's privates outside, people will light those fireworks while the rest of the world sleeps, and as long as the firework stands stay in business, there's nothing we can do except maybe wear earplugs to sleep.

Or maybe even fight fire with fire by going to Mexico, hoping to get fireworks even worse than the ones you can buy here. 
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