Thursday, July 26, 2012

7.26.12 Bee-otch of the Day: parents who bring their small children to PG-13 movies

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on


Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: various
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: ruining the movies for everybody


It's hard to believe that it's been almost a week since a gunman opened fire on a crowd of moviegoers in Aurora, CO.

But today, we're not talking about the horrific sound of gunshots that rocked the Century 16 that fateful day; instead, we're going to talk about another noise that many movie patrons don't want to hear:

Babies crying.

One of the couples that survived the massacre brought their three month old to see The Dark Knight Rises. The theory is that since it was a midnight showing, that it would sleep throughout the movie. However, since the movie's loaded with flashing lights and loud noises, nine times out of five, the kid would end up waking up in tears.

Ya know, that's what I hate about PG-13 movies. Because the MPAA code has no restrictions on G, PG or PG-13 movies, kids are allowed in all times. And yes, they end up being disruptive and it ruins the movie. Both times I saw Avatar at the theatre, I had to sit through crying kids. When I saw Superman Returns in 2006, there was a kid in the middle row running up and down the aisle yelling and screaming, and its mother didn't do anything to stop him. I was thisclose to asking theatre management for my money back.

Parents, WHY? Why must you bring your fucking obnoxious rugrats to the movies to piss people off? Can't you wait til the movie's on video to see it? This is why I hate going to PG-13 movies: parents are too fucking stupid to hire a babysitter, so we all suffer.

If I owned a movie theatre, I'd install something many older cinemas had back in the day: a cry room. They're little rooms used for families with young children. Since most of them are on the second floor and most modern theatres do not allow non-employees near those big, mean projectors, moviegoers are screwed.

Maybe I'll stick to bootlegs on the web...
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