Wednesday, April 12, 2017

4.12.17 Bee-otch of the Day: WKLT

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Name: WKLT
Age: 37
Occupation: shitty rock station
Last Seen: Traverse City, MI
Bee-otched For: giving out the worst possible prize from any rock station, ever

When you think of rock stations and contests, what prizes do you think that they give out?

Some stations give out concert tickets. Others give out free CDs, bumper stickers, t-shirts and even cars and huge gobs of cash. But in the case of Traverse City's geriatric rocker WKLT, they're giving out a prize that might have other rock stations pointing the finger and laughing at them:

A mobility scooter.

That's right! KLT has teamed up with a local pharmacy to give a $900 mobility scooter to a lucky listener. They claim on their website that the prize is "for you or someone in your life".

Of course, if you use a mobility scooter, you're likely A) really, really old and can't walk anymore or B) the white trash you see at Walmart who can move around, but you're too damn lazy to do so.

And sadly, those people exist.

Now, I'm not knocking disabled people. I know there's a lot of people who NEED a mobility scooter. My 88-year-old grandmother - who had polio as a little girl - uses one. But when a rock station gives away one, it kinda shows what their audience is: old. When your core artists include Journey, Foreigner, Styx and other lame butt rock bands, well, there you go.

I know: here I am in Grand Rapids knocking a northern Michigan radio station. Yet, I was forced to listen to this shitty-assed station growing up north since they were one of the very few rock stations. I was smacking my head that all my family down in Detroit and Grand Rapids had better rock stations to listen to, yet I was stuck with one that's forever stuck in 1982. I've heard stories about people from Detroit going up north and bringing lots of CDs simply because the radio up north catered to the idiot white trash yokels from Manceltucky.

But the truth is, that's what happens when 1) your owners are from North Dakota and 2) your programming director is a dumbassed yenta kook elitist who has no rock music background and litters the new rock section of the playlist with soccer mom shit from The Goo Goo Dolls and Melissa Etheridge. Since then, KLT has dropped most newer rock to focus on playing the same 200 old songs over and over.

Thankfully, there's Rock 105 and 95-5, which is giving the people up north an alternative to KLT's dated horseshit. Hell, I'm happy that new rock is alive and well up north thanks to that station, especially since 95.5 flipped back to the format after an ill-fated stint with easy listening. The proof is in the pudding since Shinedown, one of rock's most-popular bands is playing the otherwise musically-dreadful Cherry Festival this year.

One thing I and other radio geeks are wondering is IF Q100 owner Blarney Stone Broadcasting will be taking KLT and their sister stations The Fox and ESPN Up North soon. No papers have been filed by the FCC and Baraga Broadcasting - whom which 106.7 WSRT Gaylord was being transferred to - removed all mentions of that station from their website. However, I've heard that KLT has been playing more deeper tracks as of late and some of their jocks have been doing commercials for some of Q100's advertisers. Who knows?

All I can say is this: KLT's listeners are old, period. It was a joke 20 years ago and a bigger joke today. If BSB buys that station, I'd like to see them clean house. But, we'll see.

Of course, Billy Bob will have to find something else to listen to.

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