Thursday, January 25, 2018

1.25.18 Bee-otch of the Day: Jebus freaks


Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday, Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Friday on

Name: various
Age: various
Occupation: fake Jebus freaks
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: proving why people want to be atheists 


You know, I do love Jesus.

He healed the sick and helped the poor. He taught others to love one another and he told the wealthy to take care of the poor.

It's too bad that others use him to say to others, "he loves me, but not you."

Last week, mega tele-preacher Kenneth Copeland proclaimed that he was happy that his ministry purchased a $36 million Gulfstream V jet plane from the black Jim Varney himself, Tyler Perry. Copeland already has several other planes and even his own airport. So why does Copeland need to have planes? According to the asshole televangelist, he needs his planes and airport because he "doesn't want to rub elbows with demons". Really?!? Also, he claimed that "you can't talk to God in coach". Oh, brother.

Of course, this is the same Kenneth Copeland who lives in a $6 million mansion in the heart of Texas that he doesn't pay a dime in taxes on. Plus, let's not forget that there was a woman who died from cancer because she refused treatment. Why? Because Kenneth's plastic surgery-mess of a wife, Gloria told his viewers to give to the ministry instead of paying for life-saving treatment. REALLY?!?

You know, I worked for a "Christian" boss for a decade who paid me shit wages and got me to the point where I was having a hard time to make ends meet. With a mother who lives 1,500 miles away in Arizona, I couldn't afford EVEN A CHEAP TICKET on a plane. Yet, we have assholes like Copeland who now get to fly on a $36 million plane, all paid for by the sheeple that he brainwashes on his daily program.

And then there's Jonathan Cain, the keyboardist for one of the shittiest rock bands of all time, Journey. Last week, he and his wife, Trump advisor and televangelist Paula Cain paid a visit to good 'ol Jim Bakker to perform a little song that he co-wrote in 1981. A song that in my mind is up there with "Carry On Wayward Son" and anything Styx has done that's not "Mr. Roboto". A song called "Don't Stop Believin'".

On the show, Cain talked about the origin of the annoying tune, claiming that it was a Christian song about not giving up. He continued on by playing the overplayed heap of shit on the piano with Bakker, his wife and Cain's thrice-married wife looking on. Thanks, Jonathan! Now I hate that song even more since you played it in front of a convicted felon who stole MILLIONS from his followers and is doing it all over again. Anything that Cannibal Corpse has ever done is far-more Christian than that flaming pile of wuss rock bullshit.

Last, but not least, there's a bitch I met online last week. She seemed to be nice and Christian and she wanted to come over to my place to make burritos. Guess what! SHE NEVER CAME. She was supposed to come over a week ago yesterday but she ended up lying to me. What's funny is that she's into country and Christian music, goes to a big megachurch in Hudsonville, west of Grand Rapids and strangely enough, she sells dildos on the side. Go figure.

The point is, it pisses me off that people love to associate Jesus with being a right-winged assclown when in real life, he was probably the most-liberal person ever. Jesus never flew jet planes. Jesus was virtually homeless. Jesus never begged for money. Jesus was never a lying cunt who listens to child molester music. Jesus was a man for us and he still works. Case in point: today, I just learned that my aunt, stricken with brain cancer, was told by her doctor that her cancer is improving. She still has a long road ahead, but I'm happy that God is working for the right people. Now, I'm hoping that in the near future, she can go home to Grand Rapids and be close to her family.

The moral of the story is that you don't have to be a fake to love God.



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