8.14.19 Bee-otch of the Day: Kid Rock

BECOME AN AFFILIATE OF T-SHIRT HELL AND MAKE SOME MONEY!

Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on Chuck69.com.
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Name: Robert "Kid Rock" Ritchie
Age: 48
Occupation: formerly good singer and rapper
Last Seen: Nashville, TN
Bee-otched For: needing a Swift kick in the ass
 

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Once upon a time in the cozy suburbs of Detroit, there was a young boy named Robert Ritchie.

He lived peacefully on an orchard owned by his father, a car dealer who sold Lincolns and Mercurys. As a teen, he would sneak out of the house and go to the ghetto with his Sears Roebuck turntable. He'd go to parties where he was the only white person in the whole room. At first, young Robert was looked upon as some rich-ass goofy white kid. But when he was showing off his turntable skills, the crowd was talking about how that white kid rocked.

And yes, Kid Rock was born.

It's amazing how that white kid powered by listening to mix shows on WJLB in the 80s would become one of the biggest stars of the 2000s. Sadly, if I were black and he was at my party, I would be calling the cops, even if I'm the one about to get my ass whooped by the po-po.

Now, Kid Rock is an asshole Rethug who spat on the auto industry by kissing Mitt Romney's ass and now, he's doing the same for Drumpf. Hell, he even visited the White House with Ted "I'll be dead or in jail" Nugent.

Last week, Robbie made an angry tweet about Taylor Swift, claiming that she will be sucking on every doorknob in Hollywood since it's the oldest trick in the book. Needless to say, a lot of folks criticized the once-great singer, even Sheryl Crow, who dueted with Rock on his ballad "Picture".

Ya know, I used to like Kid Rock. Sadly, I knew that "All Summer Long" would be his jump the shark tune. Now, he's another shitty redneck country singer whose fanbase either wears MAGA hats or white outfits with pointy hats.

I hope that if he releases another album, it will flop. The Dow went down AGAIN today, meaning that a recession is on the horizon. Way to go, Drumpf!

Somewhere, Jeff "The Wizard" Mills is shaking his head.

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