Tuesday, February 8, 2011

2.8.11 Bee-otch of the Day: Ronald Reagan

Name: Ronald Reagan
Age: dead
Occupation: former actor
Last Seen: Simi Valley, CA
Bee-otched For: being another bad president 
If you've been reading my Twitter and Facebook posts, I made a post about Christina Aguilera's awful rendition of the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. If you missed it, I'll say it here: 

"Christina Aguilera's botched National Anthem was a tribute to Reagan since he cut funding to public schools when she was little."
Almost ironically, it was 100 years ago on Super Sunday that the small town of Tampico, Il saw its first glimpse of a future B actor, governor and president of the United States of America. Ronald Wilson Reagan was born downtown in an apartment building. His family moved around to several cities trying to find jobs, but ended up back in Tampico working and living inside a now-boarded up variety store. Eventually, Reagan got into acting, and starred in many B-films for Warner Bros. In the 1950's, he got into television, playing pitchman to General Electric. 
However, Reagan felt that communism and socialism were destroying the planet, and felt that ALL socialism was bad, even the one created by the likes of Franklin D. Roosevelt. He even released a record stating that if this country adopted a government-run health care system, it would destroy the fabric of this great nation.
In the 1960's, the life-long Democrat Reagan flipped to Republican status and in 1967, he successfully ran for governor of California. He didn't run for governor for a third term, choosing to run for president in 1975. He lost, but since Americans didn't seem to give Jimmy Carter a chance to clean up the messes left behind by Nixon and Ford, they gave the 'ol Gipper a shot.
It seemed that the second we allowed Reagan as president, this country started to collapse. Small towns lost their factories and even worse, he allowed former Merrill Lynch CEO Donald Regan to become the Secretary of the Treasury. Under Regan's rule, the tax rates for the middle class increased while the rich some of the steepest decreases since World War II. Reagan made major tax cuts, especially to schools. 
No wonder why Christina Aguilera screwed up the Star Spangled Banner. Maybe it was a typo in her history textbook. Then again, maybe it had that section on Civil Rights called "Trouble Ahead" and omitted "Under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance.
Of course, Reagan got his way. When he left office in 1989, the unions were busted, small towns were abandoned and Reagan's Religious Right buddies forced every 7-Eleven and mom-n-popper to stop selling Playboy. Then again, these same idiots - save for Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, sadly - all went to jail for tax evasions and prostitutes. He also ignored the AIDS crisis, angering gays. Thankfully, thanks to the mistake we made with Bush V. 1.0, we got Clinton for eight years and at least he made some progress. Even today, we're trying to rebuild this great nation after the second Bush, but sometimes, bricks and mortar aren't enough.
In all, Reagan was president mainly because of his celebrity. He made a ton of bad movies and won our hearts. Even though he's been dead for years, sadly, some of his aegis still lives on through the fact that people of my generation are still struggling. Then again, judging by the lack of young people who joined me and seeing "Capitalism: A Love Story", maybe Reagan's education cuts did its number. After all, when a company leaves town leaving thousands without a job, it's no biggie, but when Snooki - who is SOUTH AMERICAN and not Italian - has to take a dump, it's the top headline. 
Thanks, Gipper. You've destroyed an entire generation, not MTV.

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